COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT by Rosetta Stone and Susan Constant

In 2019, Hungarian Motor Works released their slickest hitech vehicle
yet to a waiting world. It was called the 818is --- but it was not
without its problems, as this net-letter of complaint from a Mrs Debbie
Web shows:

Complaints Department

c/o HMW Ltd,

33 Spline Avenue

New Budapest,

Hungary.

September 22, 2019.

SUBJECT: COMPLAINT. re HMW 818is. Registration 8ADFS-9841Q

Dear Madam/Sir, 

since taking delivery of my red 818is in July this year, I have had to
put up with (to put it mildly) a string of mishaps and breakdowns
which have truly been unbelievable. They are as follows (as you no
doubt already know from my umpteen calls to your service manager Menzel
Fringrotten). You have marketed this vehicle as a 'womans' car, yet I 
fail to see how!

1. Onboard Net PC browser keeps coming up with a 'Active Java Object
Not Found' message, whatever that means.

2. Built-in audio book player keeps reading the same latest novel by
Dr. Stephen King over and over. 

3. The active radio player is stuck on active channel 8 -- live from
the White House. (I've heard enough President Arnold F. Schwarzenegger
speeches to last me a lifetime thankyou!)

4. The rear seat Web TV player constantly shows repeats of The Return
of Gilligans Island.

5. The auto-car-wash sensor doesn't seem to sense when the car needs a
wash for heavens sake!

Do I need to go on !

Given the above, I request that the vehicle is replaced immediately. It
is still in its 10 year/500,000km warranty. You may contact me at
webd@BluePond.aru.bus.au

Yours truly

Deborah E. Web

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The following net-letter was sent back to Mrs Web.

Deborah Web

Apartment 3/98

Sydney Towers,

55 Arlington Drive,

Sydney,

Australia

2001

October 20, 2019

Dear Deborah,

Both our New Budapest and Sydney service centres have acknowledged
your complaint, but after reviewing the log transcript from the
blue-box vehicle recorder which is automatically fitted to all new
818is vehicles and connected to the World Wide Traffic Recording System
(WWTRS), it has come to our attention that your vehicle's warranty
has been voided because it has been used in the following abnormal
circumstances (all affecting the performance of the Bigtel Octium
carchip engine computer):

A. Driven into the El Nino magnetic storm region in the Cape York
peninsular. This voids warranty immediately because it can disrupt
Silicon based electronic components.

B. Driven through an X LaserTech car wash. These have been banned in
Australia, the U.K. and the USA.

C. Driven at speeds in excess of 200km/hr along the Coolgardie to
Perth autobahn.

Sorry Mrs Web, but your vehicle cannot be replaced under warranty.
Please re-read your car's manual.

yours faithfuly,

M. K. Howard,

State Manager,

N.S.W.