Monkey Planet Part 3
Tree Swinging
by Emma Monkey

Emma Monkey
34 Banana Boulevard
Monkey Planet 

Hi all,

Well I slept rather badly last night. I did manage to find a branch which looked like it might be comfy, lay down and promptly fell off. I found a wider branch to sleep on, but it wasn’t quite as comfy, and I found myself holding onto the sides of the branch just in case I rolled off again.

At about 2am there was an awful racket on the street, with lots of laughing and screaming. A load of monkeys had been to the zoo, and been throwing stuff at the human enclosure, which enraged the humans as you can imagine, but they found it rather amusing.

So anyway, after only getting a couple of hours sleep all night, I got rudely woken up by Senior Tree Climber Tess, who wasn’t very happy with me cos it was 5.30, and I was supposed to have started my lesson at 5am.

I quickly got myself sorted out, ran a brush through my hair and jumped down from the tree, only to be told by Tess that I was gonna have to surrender my hairbrush, cos it’s not a monkey thing to brush hair. She didn’t shout at me though, which I was very glad about.

Once we arrived at the tree training area I was introduced to few other monkeys who were training to get their tree climbers badges. At first they seemed friendly, but when they realised I was there just to try and keep my monkey name they quickly went off me, and started whispering and sniggering. I don’t like them.

Tess asked me how long it had been since I properly climbed trees and swung from them. Well I can’t really remember, but I know it’s been at least a few months. She decided that to be on the safe side she’d tie a rope around me so I wouldn’t fall, which made me feel safer but unfortunately the other monkeys who were there thought it was very funny, and have renamed me Stringy. I’d quite like to think it’s an affectionate thing, but I know they’re taking the mick really. I guess I’ve got a long way to go here.

Anyway then it was time to start climbing the trees. I managed that fine, no problems at all, and even beat one of the other monkeys to the top, which made me feel great and made him the source of ridicule for a few minutes. Next was tree swinging.

Now tree swinging looks simple, but it’s really not. There’s a lot of thought goes into it, like finding a vine that’s strong enough to hold you, and making sure that it’s long enough to reach the tree you want to get to, and making sure that your position on the vine is correct for a decent landing, otherwise you could crash into a branch.

The other monkeys went first, cos I think Tess knew I was gonna struggle with it. I watched them all swinging across, envious of them cos they did it with such ease, and I racked my brains trying to think of the mathematical formula that we use to measure vines, their strength and our position. I couldn’t remember it, but rather than admit to Tess that I’d forgotten one of the first and most important lessons we are ever told, I just took a guess at which vine to use, ran and jumped, and hoped for the best.

Fortunately it was a lucky guess, and I managed to make it to the next tree with no problem at all. My heart was pounding though, and I was getting pretty scared cos I knew I wasn’t gonna be that lucky all the way across the course, so I decided to take the bull by the horns and asked Tess about the formula.

I was sly about it though, cos I still didn’t want to admit just how terrible at being a monkey I was. I just asked her who had created the formula, and how they’d worked it out.

Tess didn’t twig that I didn’t know the formula, and seemed quite pleased that she was able to to teach me something. Some people are like that aren’t they- just like teaching people. Anyway, now I know the formula again-
Ba24+ N12- A75* Na2+ S3

Simple really, dunno how I could ever have forgotten it!

Now I knew the formula, I was able to do the rest of the course with ease, well, almost ease. There was one tree that I misjudged the distance of, and the vine didn’t reach it, and I didn’t have enough momentum to get back to the tree I’d just left, so I had to swing there for a bit until Tess did summat with the rope around my waist to bring me back.

I thought that was the end for me, and that it would be an instant fail, but fortunately Tess has a very soft side, and I don’t think she likes people to fail when she’s teaching them, so she let me have another go at it, and when I succeeded she just carried on marking my paper like nothing had happened.

So, it turns out I passed my tree swinging lesson, and I actually quite enjoyed it. It was brilliant to be swinging around like that, like what I was meant to be doing, it felt completely natural and when I come home I‘m gonna rearrange the trees in my plantation so I can swing on them every day!

Must go now, it’s getting late and I’ve a lesson tomorrow on poo flinging. I hope I do well with that one, it’s pretty important for monkeys.

Hope you’re all ok!