Scribe - Hills Hash

Hills Hash House Harriers
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A bit of a bonkers run (but good)
 We met at a favorite spot, Morgan John Morgan park, Glen Forrest. The Hare, White Pointer, gave a dissertation about the trail,
which was a bit of a pointer (ha ha!) that thing may go awry.
 Runners were directed one way and walkers almost the same, but with the lack of trail marking, we were all doing circles.
 Some circles were bigger then others, as hashers started to become confused and called in at the local sports club to recover!
 After what seemed an hour and a half - everyone got back, hot, bothered and befuddled.
 Still, the circle was called and the hare was duly charged - a few times in fact, as was quite appropriate!!!
It was hot, so some charges were just extra drinks.The RA was missing, as was his usual standin, so Dripper had to do his best as extra stand in.
 But it was his birthday, so it served him right.
 We sang the song and had a delish Nosh thanks to Light My Fire. With dessert from Pick Up Chick.
 On On
Pink Bits xxx
Free Beer set a challenging run and walk trail through the wild sands of the new Bushmead estate.
The out going run trail got a little too close to the return at one point and only a few hardy runners took the long option.
It was a hard slog, but the best bit was the Pina Colada drink stop.
On On. Leap Frog
The *Chocolate & Dessert Overload* Run    (or Leapfrog has a birthday Bash)
A rather hot day had the pack assembling in the garden of Leapfrog & Passiona (joint Hare's) Fortunately, the temperature and wind dropped somewhat and as we set off for a 'short' run, it was very pleasant. The walk was well marked - despite the days hurricane winds and gusts *moving* the trail. There was plenty of shade and a splendid drink-stop to quench the thirst !
Runners also had a great run, plenty of false trails and checks. They did have a fair bit of distance to cover but managed to be at the drink-stop at the same time as the walkers.
Back at the ranch, the circle was called by the stand-in GM (as DOSH was busy) and general down-downs dished out to the Hares. There was a bit of consternation as the liquid was of a raspberry colour (or is that pink ?) and not really popular. Who ever thought that a down-down was a pleasant thing instead of the punishment it is meant to be ???
On another topic, there were accolades for Crusher (100 runs) and Scooby Doo (150 runs) so they were presented with respective foot badges. (Crusher will receive a plate or tankard eventually)
Other charges came from the RA, recently returned from the salt mines but he has to go back again ! Little Weed was pilloried for having a wet head (?) and getting lost ! Others received charges for very minor misdemeanors.
Eager to move to the debauchery and mayhem, we sang the song and drooled over chocolate fondues, puddings, chocolate fondues, trifles, chocolate fondues, chocolate cakes and a soupcon of cheese, biscuits and fruit. Oh, did I mention some chocolate ?
Pink Bits xxx
No NOT The Northern Beaches, Just North Ledge !

Perfect weather had the pack eating each other's car dust arriving at the great location ! (I just washed my car - was the catch-cry ...)
After Hare's GM and WACUDA arrived, we were given run instructions and quickly blended into the surrounding bush. There was the added bonus of a drink stop, so keen runners and walkers were hot-footing it !
Walkers trail was very well marked but the runners may have found some gaps - The Hare's did mention that it may be a tad long run/walk and ... Yes ! it was somewhat ... with much up and down trail. There were many red and mucky faces.  
On return, we started the circle with the usual Hare's down-down (well deserved) with praise for the drink stop. Then we welcomed the Loooong Time Nooo Seee Franger, who actually came in second to Skippy ! He was sporting some bloody legs as if he had been rolling in the gravel ? We also had a *virgin* Cherry so gave her a warm welcome (hope we didn't put her off ???) GPS did the honours as RA in the absence of the real one ! Finally, there was a charge for GPS and Choir Girl for racing in at the end (tsk tsk)
Other business was info about the *Not the Kings Park Run* to end 2020 in style (well, kind of ...)
We managed to sing the song this week and moved on so that the myriad of tourists could find a parking spot ! Popular area ..
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Hills Hash Christmas Extravaganza

It was smashing if you missed it ... ! Thanks to Rock Bottom and Crusher for the venue and for being Hares.
An excited pack gathered in the garden of the bandicoots and kookaburras ! Everyone had adhered to the instructions and were kitted out in their best festive attire. (or were given said festive attire by order ... !) Hashers were each given a bell to wear round their necks (in case we get lost ?) More on that later ...
Chalk talk was simple (oh ... pity) and runners and walkers set off left and right on a super hot afternoon ! Although it was a relatively short run this week (adding increased time for frivolities) waiting at the drink stop seemed an age ... with walkers arriving in dribs and drabs, while runners seemed to come from all directions (which, of course they shouldn't have !) After a bubbly drinky, returning back was a bit hard as it was really hot ! There were a few red faces ....
Still on return, we had  a short, insignificant circle, Grumblings were heard about losing runners trail, so there were some charges for the usual suspects but the scrumptious dinner was beckoning so we ended up the formalities and proceeded to the partying. Great spread ... Thanks one and all for the contributions ! Leapfrog had a few surprises for everyone (the bells had numbers on them for a lucky dip !)
'Twas a really great event and so endeth the horror year known as 2020
Hope everyone has a safe and happy Christmas break but hope to see you next week for the final run for the year ...  
Pink Bits xxx
Hashers Hit Historic Homestead !

The weather was excellent as we gathered in the very salubrious suburb of Guildford to inspect Skippy and partners' new (old) money pit ... It will be a magnificent abode once some ceilings, floors, walls, windows etc are fixed up !
Mingling on the front lawn among the century old roses, GM called the circle and after a short chalk talk (including murmurings of wet socks - aaarrgghh !) we set off for the usual circumnavigate of the suburb ... Walkers had a scenic 'better homes and gardens'  tour followed by a bit of soggy bushland. Of course there was the added heightened state of awareness as railway lines and busy roads needed to be crossed.
On returning, runners were not far behind, so we had a relaxing snack attack (thanks for the great nibbles) and refreshing beverages. Surprisingly, this week no-one was lost, late or or confused ... eh WACUDA ?
Once the circle was called, (it was difficult to drag house sightseers back outside) the run was rated - good - bar the wet feet - The GM quickly charged WACUDA for giving us a fright last week. Then the RA, who had returned from his stint in training sessions with the Guru, took up his role with gusto ! Numerous charges were dished out (with a glint in his eye I thought !)  even some that were just unfair ... He was on a roll !
Then other business - being next week's Christmas party - was discussed ! Hope everyone remembers what they are bringing ??? Please dress up in the festive theme !
Pink Bits xxx

The Muttly Memorial Run

Seeing as one of the Hare's, (Pink Bits) used to walk her beloved dog Muttly (many years ago)  on the very bit of bushland where the run was set,  she decided to give the run report the above title.
There was a good turn out of Hashers on a sunny afternoon and without too much ado, run instructions were given - usual flour dots and W's - The pack set off eagerly and no doubt thought there would be few hills !  It was true for the walkers but the runners weren't so lucky ... They had numerous steep tracks to traverse with some convoluted trail.
Once everyone returned, and we were refreshing ourselves and chit-chatting, it became apparent that there was a Hasher missing  ??? Said Hasher did arrive a tad late at the start as he had been to Bilgoman Pool instead of Bilgoman Rd (I ask you ... )
Anyway, we concluded the circle, and sent off a search party on the hunt for the lost one ! Let's say that there was a good ending to a somewhat fraught hour or so. He blamed his 2 dogs for dragging him off in the wrong direction and pulling him down to the ground as well !
I totally forgot what went on in the circle ... sorry for any special mentions etc. Run was considered good and RA (GPS) officiated in his usual style - he was not a disappointment ....
Pink Bits xxx
Something Very Fishy Run ..... (or ... Don't Try This At Home)

The Hare this week was GPS, (flying solo as Sheep Shunter was away with the fairies !) As the pack gathered and circle called, he proceeded to give the chalk talk, but with a difference ! He had decided to alleviate the boredom of regular runs and proceeded to lecture us on the specifics of *fish hook* markings ! It was a convoluted tirade of rules as to how to navigate the said fish hook marking when the fifth (if that was the number on it) runner must either wait or run behind the fourth runner ... or was it the sixth runner ??? Fortunately, it was only relevant for the runners ...Anyway, more on that later ...
So, the pack headed off together in the same direction, along the banks of the river and through some very pleasant parkland (even if it said "private property" on occasion) We went under bridges and trains & cars running overhead certainly added to the somewhat freaky noise factor !
The runners disappeared on a winding trail as the walkers crossed the enormous King's Meadow, complete with polo horses and posh polo players (one of our 4 legged friends left a deposit for them !)
Then, the heavens decided to open up somewhat, and down came the showers .... just in time we got to a hastily re-arranged drink stop under the gazebo in the church park. It was a welcome dry spot but not for long ... Runners (who now mostly became walkers) joined in the quick walk back to the start and a plethora of umbrellas was unfurled.
The GM coaxed us into a quick circle, and after the usual charges for the Hare (fish hooks were a hot topic and he was duly charged over and over for the directions - that the runners ignored !) the RA (OH ! that was GPS as well this week !) got to trying to charge a few Hashers. He managed to hand the GM her 300 runs foot (well done DOSH) and then handed over to the bedraggled pack who were losing interest fast ... Then this week's highlight was the naming of a new Hasher. Georgina has been duly named as ***The Flying Nun***
She did give us a lot of fodder in her crazy apparel, sporting a large metallic sun-shade in the guise of a nun - but nun the wiser, (you had to be there) Of course, by now, the rain was easing but it was cold ... we feasted on Light My Fire's delicious spring rolls and escaped to dryer venues.
Pink Bits xx
The Knee-capping Run !

My spies have informed me that this was a very good run. Scooby-Doo, Hare, set the trail with his baby powder again ... seemingly it works and if you fall down on your bum, it's quite helpful with the chaffing. Ha...Ha !
Meeting on the edge of the National Park, I expect everyone was anticipating another *tunnel trudge* but not this time. The trail was very picturesque ... according to the photos ... and skirted around the many, many hills in the area.
Mention must be made of the *special doggy* walk that needed to be arranged so our4 footed friends were not left out (or in trouble)
The GM was not available, so the stand-in, Pink Bits, was to be the stand-in, but she was too far away... SO Leapfrog was next nominated but not sure who really did the job.
The circle was called (I presume) and of note, SNB got his 100 run badge & also the Lame Duck Award for smacking his knee to the ground. Interestingly he managed to staunch the blood with a beer mat towel. Very Hash ... I did not see the RA so I think GPS (the stand-in) did that job of imparting various charges.  
The song must have been sung and then it was NOSH NIGHT ! Thanks to Light My Fire .... (I got there just in time)
Pink Bits xxx
Nov 15
The Bush Bash (ing)

Great reunion with a few old ( as in - not seen for a while...) Hashers. We met up at Dave The Pom's house in Kalamunda. Run instructions were somewhat unclear, as was the walk ! They had false trails for walkers etc which Hills do NOT ! Fortunately, a Hills Hasher, Dripper, had offered to set a decent run. Short cutting walkers were directed around the block, up a significant hill, that had us puffing a bit, to a great drink stop. A posh one with lots of options. Everyone arrived at about the same time ...
Replenished, we were advised that there was about 2 km's to go but in actual fact it was a minutes walk/run back to the house.
Eventually, the circle was called by Bush Hash and they had a magnificent bucket of shots for down-downs ... YUK ! (don't try the green/blue ones ! 😵 )
So the roundabout of charges began .... many, many, but all in good fun ... Our illustrious GM was called in to add to the mayhem ...
Both clubs sang the relevant songs and we feasted on ... well feasty stuff for a while. It had been a great reunion !
Pink Bits xxx
Nov 8th 2020

The *** SNB*** Run.

What a joy it was to return to the lovely Piesse Brook area. We were in competition with some random ramblers who were also meeting there at 5pm.
SNB gave some instructions and we all headed off in the full knowledge that there would be hills (and valleys) AND a drink stop ! Bet the ramblers didn't have that incentive !
Well, the walk certainly was very well marked, no possibility of getting lost. It did live up to its previous reputation - rocky, hilly, up and downy !  ... The run,  I believe,  was equally well posted with a few surprises, such as track heading suddenly massively downhill as attested to by Dripper who had a minor gardening incident !
On return, the circle formed, GM gave a down-down to the Hare ... but was short of other charges. The unexpected RA, GPS, (with full face paint that would have frightened the smaller children, had there been any ,,,) proceeded to manufacture some ridiculous charges but then even more ridiculous charges came from the floor. Of note, Skippy charged Pick Up Chick and Pink Bits for frivolously exchanging bottles of bubbly. This charge was quickly reversed as it was on official Hash business - in preparation for next week's run !
After the singalong, we headed off to eat somewhere ....
Pink Bits
Nov 1st 2020

The Melbourne Cup Run

A small select boutique group of Hashers *eventually* gathered at the appointed spot. It was a bit off the beaten track and very bush.
There was an array of frock, socks and locks in keeping with the dress-up theme. Everyone looked *gorjuss* !
Despite the impending rain, the runners and walkers completed the fabulous trails in relatively dry circumstances. Everyone returned to bubbles, canapes, cheeses and biscuits - very *Cup* style post race.
The Hares, Pink Bits and Dripper, got good reviews and the evening ended with a chilly wind and a bit more rain. However, it did not rain on our parade ! Our singing saw to that ...
Pink Bits
Dubbed the penultimate 4PM run, this warm sunny afternoon had the enthusiastic pack joined by swarms of newly hatched bush flies.
We welcomed back Rock Bottom, who survived a trip to Melbourne and a stint in quarantine .
Skippy is well known for seeking out big hills and this run and walk did not dissapoint - after several steep climbs, we were rewarded with beautiful views of the Weir.
A big suprise was an early drink stop on a rock outcrop over looking the Weir. After rehydrating, the pack was off to tackle yet more hills.
 In the circle, the well marked trail was given the thumbs up by every one. Maddona copped a down down for arriving back with only a small scratch after his horrific accident in the same area a few years ago.
Not to be outdone, Leapfrog did her own "Maddona Crash"by falling spread eagle style after tripping over a small root. Luckily, no serious consequences except a bruised arm, leg and ego.
Rock Bottom was fined for not reading the whole of "War and Peace" while in quarantine
The pack enjoyed nibbles and a wonderful plate of left over goodies from Drippers family lunch. Just like a mob of hungry seagulls, it vanished in minutes.
On On
Occasional Scribe,
The Tell All, Show All & Oh Heck ... Whatever Run !

Great turn out on a sunny Sunday which had the pack pacing in anticipation (as the GM was late !) Once the Hare's, Passiona and Leapfrog, got their act together we all set off at a blistering pace to circumnavigate the local bushland. Walkers were directed up the garden path ( Leapfrog omitted just the odd W !?) and for a change the runners came back first. (No drink stops this week !!!)   
Once the re-grouping was synchronized, we had a very quick circle, complete with returning RA, Sheep Shunter, and after, enjoyed a lovely dinner provided by Light My Fire.
Then it was on to the incriminating slide show ... which was a blast .... wasn't it Scooby Doo ? You did figure in quite a few shots ! Not always looking 100%
Still, even those who had not been on the Kalbarri Hash Away were giggling and smiling at the shenanigans ! (and glamour)
Pink Bits xxx

Tickhead Steps Up !

In the deep dark depths of Chidlow, the pack gathered to enjoy a bush bash. It was a good turn-out and the Hare's, Dripper and stand-in for Pick Up Chick, Tickhead, had constructed a great trail.
Instructions for walkers were clear - do not follow the M's ?(upside down W's !) All this was a bit confusing as there were W's and M's on the same trail ... here,  there and everywhere ... ! Dripper was a bit concerned that the run would be too short and runners would arrive at the drinkstop first (and consume all the best stuff !)
However, as it turned out, the whole pack virtually arrived at the same time - within minutes - (was it all the M's on trail ?) at the beverage wagon .... The lovely Pick Up, ably assisted by Lady Ga-Ga, sorted out the cups and lollies.
Once we returned, the GM called the circle and got stuck into Little Weed for playing with her phone - down-down. Then the Hares got a bit of a serve for some confusion on trail - down-down for them.
In the absence of the RA, GPS performed this duty, firstly saying he had no whispers/gossip/misdemeanors etc to charge anyone ... however, the pack more than made up for this with ludicrous charges on innocent people. We had to re-fill down-downs many times. We also had a visitor, Uphill's son, who came for a visit.  
Of significant note, there was a BIRTHDAY event ...  Young Snake Charmer celebrated his 6th birthday and wore the hat with pride.
We then sang the song and a good bunch departed for a substantial  pub meal.
Pink Bits xxx
OMG ... Run Of The Year !

Well, obviously it must be as the clever Hares had the runners and walkers doing a long false trail at the start ... Much hilarity for them - No-one else though ... Where was Skippy,  I ask ??? We needed you !
Once Pink Bits composed herself and got off the ground ... she directed the walkers to the correct track and off they went ... Porno King was just sweeping and smiling as he followed the runners ... Tee Hee Hee !
It was a great run, with equally good weather and no rain for the duration ! Wildflowers were in abundance and the relatively flat walk, slightly undulating run, but with a drink stop as a carrot (not actually ... ) had everyone arriving at about the same time to enjoy a beverage or two ...
It was just a short distance back to the start.
Once GM called a circle, and said it was the run of the year ... the Hares got a down-down. Then the* stand-in-often*  RA - GPS started his tirade of charges and elbow pointing ... we had visitors, Leather Lungs (great name) & Excess Baggage (no such thing) who looked like they enjoyed our unique Hills Hash but got a down-down anyway .... we like to welcome new Hashers ! There were some other charges that were turned around (?) and then we launched into the club song with much gusto ...
On-On (to curry delight with a big crowd)
Pink Bits xxx
What Rain Again ? Run !

We converged on the lovely Noble Falls picnic spot with looming grey skies but full of vim and vigor. Being as we are re-naming Hills Hash to WET Hills Hash, or so it seems, we took little notice. Significantly, we had the RA return, so all would be well.
The Hares, Skippy and Choir Girl, gave instructions (in the case of Choir Girl, her run had been set on Friday - bless her - and there had been some deluges since !) So off we went on some great trail, partially marked for walkers, with Choir Girl adding flour as she went. There was a lot of meandering along the river but all in all no real difficulty for walkers (apart from a possible tree over river crossing that NO-ONE wanted to traverse) The runners on the other hand seemed to disappear for a while (with occasional horn sound from far,far, away.)
Overall,  it was not a very long run so we managed to do some extra walking just to taunt the Gods, as the rain kept away. Runners came back relatively unscathed, EXCEPT FOR SCOOBY DOO ! He just couldn't wait for a nice little river dip, so he was drenched ! Still no rain though .... Circle was called by the stand-in GM around the welcome fire to warm us up. Hares got a down-down and the RA, fed plenty of scandal & gossip by the pack, dished out charges to Scooby for having a bath, GPS for being a ledfoot & Little Weed for showing off and crossing that log over river before the run ...
The heavens started to shower on us but by then we were sheltered, happily eating Nosh, kindly provided by Light My Fire, and despite the showers we were replete.
Pink Bits 👣👣🏃👣

A Dry Run ! (just for a change)
The weather was kind to us at last and we gathered at the start without raincoats or umbrellas. The Hares, Dripper & Pink Bits, gave some instructions and the pack set off. In the case of walkers, the first part was somewhat hilly, on footpath, but once at the top it was a meandering trail, through bits of bush and parks, marked with W's all the way. We were missing Leapfrog which was a pity as it was a *bring out your dead* week but Pick Up Chick made up for it ... as did Skippy - what troopers !
It had been indicated that there was a drink stop and both runners and walkers arrived at about the same time (well done Hares) at the abode of Made Muffin for some great refreshment.
After that it was a short hop, skip and roll back down to the start.
The stand-in GM (Vice) called the circle and got herself and Dripper in for a down-down. In the absence of the RA, a surprised last minute surprise RA (Skippy) tried to think up some random charges but the best he could come up with was his Dad having new shoes .... down-down to Passiona in shoe (wimp version) All the pick-up's were acknowledged and charged and the song was sung and the circle ended .... on a sunny note !
Pink Bits xxx
... And The Rain Came Down Again !

Oh Woe is us ! ! ! Another deluge attacked Hills Hash on Sunday. We had a change of venue due to an unfortunate Franger mishap so Wacuda stepped into the breach and set the run.
As we gathered, the rain just poured and did not stop .... Wet weather gear and enthusiasm were the requirements as the pack set off into the bush. Fortunately, the trail did survive and runners and walkers had plenty of directions. If you had time to look about it was a pretty trail, challenging enough but well marked.
On the return, (everyone accounted for ...) we had to scurry to a rather public shelter to have the circle (more of an oblong but nevermind !)
The Hare obviously got a down-down and in the absence of the RA,  GPS took upon himself to distribute various charges. Can't remember much as it was still raining .....
We celebrated (in her absence) Rock Bottom's Birthday with some wet cake and generally could not wait to get off home. Fortunately a few Hashers had complete changes of clothing so we sang the song and ventured forth ..... in the rain.
Did I mention it was wet ..... ?
Pink Bits xxx
Kalbarri Kapers 1

The intrepid campers & caravaners from Hills Hash descended on Kalbarri to have a good weekend. It was that and more ...
The first scheduled run on Saturday was starting at the new Skywalk in the Kalbarri NP and we were in our finest outfits. On arrival, it was clear that the general public was going to be entertained by the sight of all the colourful and exotic outfits. Standing for the obligatory photo-shoot, some got a bit more of an eye-full than expected as the breeze came up through the metal grill we were standing on and .... well lets say ... produced a Marilyn Monroe effect. If only it had been one of the girls ... but no, it was Passiona living up to his name !
Runners set off for a long and challenging (oh those frocks !...) gorges escapade that took in gorgeous views, if you dared look up ! Meanwhile, walkers strolled to another vantage spot - a  look-out that was only a short distance away. Some though, went on down to the river and found that a bit of a challenge (ladders, rocky gully's and generally typical hilly terrain)
We came back to the carpark in awe of the fabulous vistas & wildflowers we had seen. NO official circle was held, just a presentation ceremony for the most GORGEOUS (Lady Ga-Ga who got a brilliant orange cushion with *Gorgeous* on it) and 3 Kalbarri magnet awards for best dressed - Dosh, Pick-Up Chick and Porno King (who had an outfit on that left very little to the imagination !!!) Check out the photos !!!
We then went back to our digs  and had a BBQ, a bit of a lot of drinking (eh ...Scooby ?) and a FIRE ON THE BEACH just 300 mtrs down the road !

Kalbarri Kapers 2

It was decided that we would have a second run at 8.30 in the morning on the Sunday (who is awake on a Sunday at that time eh Scooby-Doo ?) It was to be an interesting small boat transfer,  by our competent Dripper the Skipper, to a headland across the river (he had a crash course in boating 101) No more than 5 at a time and it all went like clockwork ! There were 16 of us and once assembled, Skippy advised that he had set both a run and a walk (with a shortcut) Of course, looming up in front of us was a substantial set of hills (we ARE Hills Hash) but instead of gravel, we had sand,  lots of it, hard going stuff ! I swear I felt like I was in the Gobi desert lost and delirious, wandering in circles. However, we were never really lost as Skippy had marked the trail really well, with W's as well as usual blobs of lime.  At the highest point, we marvelled (that we were still breathing ... no) at the wondrous sight of both river and ocean. Great Skippy ... very clever setting of run. We made it back to the jolly boat spot and Dripper the Skipper ferried us back (Don't pay the ferryman till he gets you to the other side.) We arrived relatively dry, bar the slight mishap by Choir Girl who just had to have a mini trip-up getting out of boat (face plant award)
We did have a circle and congratulated the Hare for a good run and GPS donned the Monk's robe but had very few charges. There were a couple from the pack but nothing too earth shattering ! Mind you, Scooby Doo was fairly quiet throughout the circle, lying in the shade near a convenient vomitus grandis shrub !
Overall, the Hills Hash House Harriers had enjoyed a fabulous *Gorgeous In The Gorges* Hash Away ... Thanks to all the organisers and helpers !
Pink Bits xxx
ALERT: Runners Short On Drinks Stop !

Ominous clouds rolled over the pack as we assembled at the Hare's abode. The Hares, Free Beer and Teflon Kid (with his little mate), gave the usual instructions about flour blobs, chalk arrows, W's and general indications of marked trail, We set off together, but runners had to contend with a log creek crossing (no wet feet)  and a mighty big loop off into the sunset. Walkers enjoyed a bushtrack past the emerging wildflowers ... just great ! The occasional surprise happened as runners appeared out of the bush (obviously lost) and in the case of Wacuda, he ran somewhere else, apparently missing trail !
There was a drink stop at the big playground - fun for all - but mostly the refreshing beverages which we really enjoyed. I say we, I mean walkers, as the poor runners (gosh ... it was a long run) arrived to be served ... well, not much .... The Hare's right hand man had not adequately catered for the thirsty pack - Down-down coming up -
Once we re-grouped, the circle was called and (Mum) Hare was fined numerous times. Interestingly, her right hand man was nowhere to be seen. Other charges were lost runners and visitors and departing Hashers (who we may not see for some time ???) Stand in RA, GPS was not too busy though, as there were only a few charges.
The ominous clouds did not result in any wet weather so a big bonfire was constructed. I hope a certain Hashers car in the vicinity did not end up singed !? Who knows what happens once Skimpy gets excited .......!
Pink Bits xxx

I Know What Happened Last Week !

Just because the Scribe was absent last week, does not mean that the *goings on* were not reported ! My spies were present -

The small energetic band of Hashers gathered (eventually ... !) at the venue chosen by the *chosen one*  (and Birthday Boy) and set off on a trail marked with ... what shall we say ... one OR two blobs of flour that were fairly fresh - due to re-set after the rain.
This proved a tiny bit confusing - nothing concerning - and the trail went gently downhill .... THEN HORRIBLY UPHILL .... but then again, what would you expect from Wacuda if not a challenge !
The runners and walkers came back safe and sound to a stand-in RA.  None other than GPS who relishes these moments. A chance to inflict some serious charges .... but, as it was getting dark and very possibly a hurricane rain was imminent ... there was a Birthday charge & a quick circle. A delish caramel sponge cake was shared around and everyone scuttled off (some to the shelter of a pub, I believe)
Pink Bits xxx
The **Bound To Rain** Run

(NOTE: Those with a sensitive disposition, may wish to avoid a certain section of this report - Parental guidance recommended)

Oh boy ! ..... we were not disappointed ! Even on the trip to GPS & Ramblings place there was much grey/black sky.
We gathered in the carport, eager to get going before the heavens opened up. The stand-in GM got some control for the Hare to give instruction .... but the Hare was absent (?)  He had a surprise stand-in to give some idea as to where the trail ran off ....  It was all exciting ... until we set off into the pouring rain.  Runners were, yet again, forging ahead without seeing much into the distance - walkers just donned brollies and wellies (in some cases full-plastic-jackets and trousers)
Surprisingly, in a matter of minutes, the sun came out, a rainbow appeared and we were all stripping off, hot and bothered ! Walkers followed dots of self-raising (obviously) flour whilst runners were nowhere to be seen for a while ! There were a few problems with the trail (as in not being obvious ???) but eventually we all returned to a welcoming fire back at the start.
The circle was formed and the run was rated quite good by everyone.😁
No wet socks were reported so please carry changes of clothes and towels in future. It really helps the RA who, with a little help from Light My Fire, managed to keep the rain at bay.

😱 ALERT: Avert children at this point ! ! ! 😱

The outstanding charge was for two Hashers (NOT of the girl variety) who both came back with BLOODIED NIPPLES ... apparently they just rubbed each other up the wrong way 😂😂😂 You had to be there ...!

Back into the safe zone -

A fab female entered the circle. She already had a name (Thelma) so is our newest Hills Hasher. She is a shiny red head and single.
No other significant details .... we sang the song, quite well, and feasted on a delicious curry cooked by GPS
Pink Bits xxx
Out In The Back Blocks !

Skippy found a splendid venue for a great run. We had a sunny, clear day and a good turn out.
Runners and walkers set off together but were only connected at the drink stop (well, some were). There was a bit of flour and lime marking the trail through tracks, bush and cross-country. Very good Skippy ... (although, there was a bit of " we haven't seen any trail for ages" but we should have trusted the Hare !) This was not a short run, it was a substantial distance but, nevertheless, really pleasant. Wildflowers are starting to burst out. We had a drink stop, complete with a small pond for the doggies to refresh as well as the Hashers. So thoughtful ....
Back at the circle, we complained that the RA did not quite manage to stop a bit of drizzle, but nowhere near the torrent of a week ago ... The RA was not amused and fined lots of people. There was *of note* a long time   no-see, El Keeno, who is not so *keeno* nowadays. (good to see you though !) Pick Up Chick did not do her job, but Leapfrog picked up a pot (will double as a dog water bowl) Down-downs all round .... Pink Bits got a down-down for forgetting the sign-on book etc ( and for having strong words with the GM - I forgot ***everything you say will be taken down as evidence and used against you***  !)
Once again, Hashing is dangerous - Rock Bottom has a fractured elbow due to an *incident* last week ! However, I contend that there have now been 3 incidents so should be good for a while.
Pink Bits xxx
It went swimmingly !

So, a virgin run setter, Contraband, ably aided by Light My Fire, set the walkers part of the run. Sheep Shunter, (a pro) measured out the runners part, incorporating every possible hill in the flatland known as Woodbridge.
A good turn-out had us cramming into a very full carpark on the river bank.
The GM got the Hares in for instructions (vague) but we eventually followed lovely W's or dots. We were warned that there were some boggy bottoms etc ... ( i.e.mud) to be traversed but for most of the walk the trail was well marked (although there were a few short-cutters in the large open paddocks !) There were a few who didn't see the flour adorning the trees (high up so could not have been LMF ... it must have been Contraband) but like lemmings we followed on and found the lovely sparkly drink stop, but not before the heavens opened and deposited a copious amount of rain on us. ... The runners were shortly behind the walkers and what a puffed out, bedraggled, red faced lot they were ! ... (that Sheep Shunter is so devious ... well done !) We left the runners to squeeze out the last of the drinks and set off back ... it was a long On Home but pleasantly along the river (with numerous fab benches made from old pylons and jetty timber (creative .... did you notice Passiona ?)
Back in the circle we discovered that young Skippy tried to pull his dog out of the river and ... FELL IN HIMSELF  ... It's OK he was quite wet already anyway ! (hee hee - down-down)
The hares were complained about ... Whoops, I mean complemented for a good run - down-downs. Dripper screamed in the circle that he had wet feet and socks - I think he got a down-down (or should have ...) There were belated Birthday celebrations but so many I can't remember how many got to wear the hat ??? down-downs all round. Other charges were, as usual, unfair ...
Being as we were quite wet and cold, the circle ended with a quick song (done with gusto - good one !) and we departed for warmer places!
Thanks everyone for the lovely savoury and sweet treats !
On-On (but keep reading)
P B xxx

(More Gossip - Which Hasher did not turn up this week after last week's entanglement ? Was he too shy ?)

Birthday Bash !

On this *orspishus* occasion of Passiona's Birthday, a special run was organised. Indeed, a birthday bonfire ... soup kitchen ... and cake !
It was a good turn out and we got an amusing preamble from Leapfrog ... ALL ABOUT SCOOBY DOO ???? (and his decapitated knee-cap) Funnily enough, he was not there, well .... not at first, but just as she threw her copious notes on the fire, he limped in, so notes were retrieved smoldering ! ....
Runners and walkers were sent off on a very pleasant run through the small holding and trails beyond. Nothing too challenging .... We came back without a single injury !
The GM called the circle and the Hares were rewarded with icy cold down-downs. A special 50 runs foot was presented to Choir Girl (well done) and the RA descended on the pack with some random charges.
Of course, the birthday boy was celebrated (hat, lights, down-down & photo opportunity)
We then gathered for a feast of hot yummy soups, scones and bread. This was followed by desserts etc. Big thanks to all the cooks ...
P B xxx

(GOSSIP ALERT ... Which two Hashers surprisingly went home together ?

Oooo !  Aaah !  Nudge nudge ... wink wink !)

A sunny Sunday had us congregated on a popular 4 wheel track in the back blocks of Sawyers Valley. True to form, Downhill had devised an entertaining run for both runners and walkers. It was both scenic and yet challenging, flat-ish yet dangerous, dense yet open !
So much to think about ..... if only I could remember it all .....
Once we all returned, it was onto circle business now the Monk was back on board. He was a tad rusty so there were not too many charges .... obviously the Hare was brought in - as were a few others who were innocent, ! ... innocent I say !
As we all know, Hashing is dangerous as Scooby Doo would attest ... yet again, his knee (same one as before) came off worse than the rock it landed on ! I believe he is much better now and possibly walking again (as he will be on Hash for a while) Down-down for him.
Despite all the drama, the run had been of a reasonably good length and well scored. It was also good to see a few returnees ...
We had some further entertainment watching the 4 wheel drivers navigating the precarious track down the power lines ! They all seemed to survive and out of the blue, a trail bike rider whizzed past us right at the end.
As it was getting cold and dark, we melted away into the night, a few in the direction of a hot curry.
Pink Bits xxx
The Chafe-Free Run !
In stark contrast to last week, the small but eager Hash pack met *down on the flat land* in close proximity to the river .... in glorious sunshine and warm temperature. We were held up just a tad by the GM & Wacuda but even longer by Dripper ... more on that later.
Scooby Doo as Hare gave us instructions of some sort but I was distracted due to what he had in his hand ! My goodness .... yes it was a .... wait for it ...  box of talcum powder (hence the title of this report) A good alternative to flour/lime !
Moving on, as we were, we veered all over the place following a well marked trail, criss-crossing the runners trail. We had hoped for a bit more riverside trail but despite that, the run was very pleasant going past some nice gardens and we found a fabulous *bee hotel* on the way. (Due to COVID-19 it was in quarantine) There had been a teensy-weensy shower but not really enough to get anyone wet ... or wetter than the sweaty runners ....
Runners and walkers returned at about the same time and had some refreshment before the circle was called. The Hare was fined for many reasons (what about the talc ?) Mostly, as there were not enough hills (as if ...) Long-time no see Rambling got a down-down, Franger and Skippy got *new shoes* down-down, DOSH, Wacuda, Porno King & Dripper got a *being late* down-down, with special mention of Dripper getting a bit lost (?) and extra special mention of Porno King for.......
GPS as stand-in RA had a very busy time .... He then whooped it up for a Birthday Celebration for Pick-Up-Chick who had picked up a packet of ciggie tips for show and tell ! Happy Burpday anyway ..!
She produced a kilogram of doughnuts and insisted they were all consumed ... I think GPS had most of them ! What a trooper ...
As the sun was setting, painting lovely purple hues in the sky, we thought of dinner and 10 of us went for a curry - which was really nice ! From the restaurant window, we saw a lot of flashing lights at the traffic lights - aha ! speeding cars we thought  ??? but NO ... HUGE thunder and lightning - drive home was a bit scary !
Pink Bits

The Wild, Wet & Wooly Run !

From all accounts, the turn-out was small but very enthusiastic. The Hares, Crusher and Rockbottom, had rigged up a tarp shelter to protect the pack from the torrential rain. Bickley is well known to be where the Bureau of Meteorology  collects rain data. It was collected that day in bucket loads.
This did not deter the Hashers who slipped, slithered and waded through the trails. Needless to say, it was a wet run.!
There is a pattern appearing as it seems that the last one back (due to getting lost?) was again Wacuda.
The circle was very intimate, and celebrations for DOSH's (GM's) Birthday went ahead with much cake consumed. Happy Birthday to you .... x
The *How Far* ??? Run

All things pointed to gorgeous weather and a truly great evening for a run ...
There was a good turn-out and the Hares,Dripper &  Pink Bits, had given a lot of thought to setting the trail(ed. Oh Really).
Chalk talk over, the walkers and runners set off on well marked trails. What the runners did not know (but the walkers were informed) was that it was a L O N G run ... (splash keys were commandeered by Baldrick as he still has a gammy leg)
The walk was great, well marked, no-one got lost. (Snigger snigger)
The run was well marked in a sort of meandering way, VERY LONG, (who was it that said they were over long runs ?) and had the runners coming back shaking heads till they realised that the tardy WACUDA was nowhere to be seen.
At this point dear reader, I must mention that it is important to LOOK FOR LOST HASHERS - as opposed to assuming they will show up eventually ! The valiant GM took off in her car to try to find the lost one (it must be love xxx) ... he was just a little behind and steadfastly refused to get a lift home ! What a trooper ...
Back in the circle we welcomed the 2 new runners that Madonna brought with him ... rock climbers no less (I want to be with them on some of our runs !) GPS assumed the role of RA as Sheep Shunter was up in Port Hedland talking with druids in the Pilbara (hope he comes back soon - we miss him - no offence GPS)
After copious snacks and other delights (or not) we rushed off to get home before the shortest day of the year swallowed us up ! Or we ate curry ... ?
Pink Bits xxx
Lose A Trail - Find A Trail ...
Hashers gathered at the somewhat inspiring venue of HILL St ... Inspiring some trepidation as this is a notorious area for some steep climbing. The Hares went to great lengths, to explain that the walk would be hugging the escarpment (would we be hugging it ???) and the run was of a reasonable length.
We disappeared into the lovely bush, and for the walkers at least, the trail was impeccably marked. This could not be said of the runners though as there was much confusion about lost trail and eventually,  as we were returning, this manifested itself with unusual appearances of runners coming in too soon. Of course, some managed to do additional loops, some had close encounters with the ground and some just ran on the walkers trail.
It was a really good run and we enjoyed the "nearly normal" Hash.
We had a 'long time no see'  Fire Extinguisher and a few down downs in the circle from the returnee RA. Still low key though ...
Just as an aside, we had a small injuries bench with a few Hashers carrying sports injuries - the winner was Baldrick !
P B xxx
The ** YAY !   We Are Back ** Run - OR - The * Skippy Have Mercy* Run  !

What a great return to Hashing ! A significant turn out of 28 Hashers and visitors gathered in the depths of Hovea.
Skippy gave a short chalk talk and we set off with much social distancing (cos we were far apart anyway) The trail was gorgeous, even with a few rock walls (well lumps really ... ) and lots of bush and a few views.
Of course, if it was your unfortunate chance of walking with Leapfrog, you could have got lost, as she and Cheech lost trail. However, no real drama and we all got back after an hour and a half ! Some, including runners, were back earlier but it was a hefty long run .... Thanks Skippy.
On return there was cake from Maid Muffin for her BIRTHDAY and she got to wear the hat !
Complaints were mostly about lack of lime trail but as there were no real charges or RA, we drifted off into the darkness.
Pink Bits xxx
Hills Hash Crash - Last Hurrah !
A large group of hashers gathered at a safe distance from each other on the Boya Oval. We were not to know what the new regulations would impose on groups such as ours ...
So, the Hares, Dripper and Pink Bits,  gave out some instructions ... vaguely mentioning it was a true Hills run ... we were in BOYA !
Setting off on a joint path,  runners and walkers soon split to find their respective trails. The runners went of to find hills,  pastures and more hills,  hurtling to the infamous Boya quarry (used for a Ball-Breaker run many years ago) Walkers were faced with their first of 3 hills that were a jolly good workout !
It was not long before the pack came back and any walkers needing more,  were directed to do a few laps of the oval. Judging by the puffed and pink faces not all wanted any more .... just some refreshment which was really a gift ! Once the runners returned, a few minutes later, we convened a speedy circle, maintaining our safe distances. The GM had to shout to be heard but we managed to have some modified charges, not many as no-one was keen to prolong the circle. Even the stand-in RA was befuddled (or is that disappointed ?) Of some note was Pink Bits 500th run .... well done me !
We sang our song and it sounded alright !

So folks, this is it till the COVID-19 is no longer a problem ... In the meantime keep yourselves safe, WASH YOUR HANDS and stay away from others if you can .... It will be a sad time for all of us but we will get through this ....
Keep in touch with phone calls, texts and emails ....
Over and out
Pink Bits xxx   xxx   xxx
P.S. We had a naming this week and the lucky new Hasher has been given the super handle of *Duck Duck Go* It will grow on her !
P B xxx
Crusher's Crowning Conquest !

From all accounts, it was a very good run set by the very experienced Crusher. A good turn out of Hashers assembled in the back end of Mundaring, keeping a safe distance from each other.
We had a bit of a pre-amble about exactly where the circle was to be but everyone got their run instructions (with a drink stop promised) and set off ... It was enjoyed by all, and fairly flat despite being in a bushy area.
After the pack returned, there was the usual down-down for the Hare and a celebration for Contraband ... for her 100th run ... WELL DONE ...
Any other special moments were not reported.
Keep safe everyone  ... Till next week ... hopefully !
Pink Bits xxx
The Pass/Leap Run !

Great turn-out of Hashers on a warm and humid afternoon. We had to wait a while for *sonny-jim*  who went to his Mum's house first by accident !
The GM gathered us all in and the Hare's gave out the instructions. Flat, easy trail, runners & walkers start off together and then veer away & VERY IMPORTANT ... a drink stop !
Off we trailed, on a very pleasant walk at least, and possibly a longish hot run ?(This did not stop Franger doing an extra few km's)
There was a plethora of nibbles back at the start and a very
insistent Dripper who kept reminding us that he did not want to lug full eskies back !!!
The circle was called and the Hare's got the usual down-down ... however the comments were very praiseworthy about the run.
As the RA was away on secret business in the land of the big white cloud, not too far, far away, this very serious and senior  position  was left to Mr. Disappointment himself ... GPS !
He did a stirling job and handed out about err umm ... one (1) charge and then asked for help from his captive audience. A few more charges were administered for paltry crimes ... an acknowledgement of a 25th run was noted.  Also, a request for a design for a T-shirt for our 2001-th Run was discussed so please consider !!!
Song was sung and so endeth another great Hills Hash Run ...
Pink Bits xxx
El Keeno To the Rescue

The official Hare had come down with a mystery malaise so emergency back up plan had to be initiated ! El Keeno was willing to step up and set the run, while Contraband (with assistance from Pink Bits) set the walk.
It was a blustery afternoon, not too pleasant for hanging about, and the pack was slow to gather .... in fact at one point, there were no runners other than E K. However, we ended up with a reasonable lot, despite the long weekend. The runners Hare indicated that he had also set a walk (as he was not advised that anyone was setting a walk !)... much to the consternation of the walker Hares. However, the Hashers made individual decisions  which way to go ....
Runners (and some walkers) set off in the opposite direction to the majority of the walkers ....
After a reasonable time, everyone (mostly) were seen to be returning simultaneously ..... a small emergency began to unfold as Baldrick started lifting up his shirt (no ... not for exhibitionist purposes !) as he had had an altercation with a passing dog (bite mark quite obvious ...) He took off to have a quiet chat with the owner ... and later went for a tetanus shot !
Once the tardy GM returned, with GPS (of course) & Sheep Shunter in tow, she started the circle as we were freezing our butts off. The wind was quite strong by now so the charges were quickly disposed off ... great comments about the run/walk even from Franger ! Well done to the Contraband, virgin run-setter, who also happened to have had a recent birthday !Birthday cake moment !
We did not sing the song as we could not even hear ourselves speak ... Gale force winds won !
We abandoned the idea of a BYO BBQ and went to the pub for a meal !
Pink Bits xxx
Sheep Shunter Does It Again On A Valentine's Day Run !

Yes, he set a good run, ably assisted by Light My Fire (in spirit if not in person) We gathered at the Swan View Railway Station (minus train and track) fully kitted out in lingerie of dubious type, and after the obligatory photo shoot, were directed everywhere, with trail marked separately for runners and walkers.
As the Scribe was keeping some late arrivee's company, she can only say she went towards the tunnel, saw the tunnel and photographed it ! Then promptly turned around and sauntered back in her lingerie .... creating some smiles and consternation among the general public out for a Sunday stroll
People are so polite ...
Once everyone was back (some slightly later than others ...) the  GM called the circle. The runners thought it was a good run, if a bit long ... walkers were very complementary ...
The Hare/ RA then took over and charged nearly everyone. The visitors were welcomed and ... funnily enough, one young person was named ...
(goes to show what power the GM has !) So, we sang the song and there endeth another grand run !
Pink Bits xxx
PS Late report as Passiona was away busy fiddling with a stove !
Great turn out for White Pointers * Not The Alpaca Run* The pack gathered in trepidation of the onerous trail they might encounter.
The trail was marked with toilet paper and the drink stop was .........
No-one got lost ...
Everyone got back ....
Fun was had ....
Charges were unfair .....
Down-downs consumed ....
BYO BBQ was great ....
(the absent) Pink Bits  x
Crushed & At Rock Bottom ......
... was not the feeling on this run. A good turn-out despite a slight bit of inaccurate direction at the start. (turn the foot the right way ... toe pointing in the direction ...)
We were informed that there was a normal run, a regular and a short walk. Also a drink stop, which is always a bonus.
The runners and walkers set off in the same direction then runners vaporised and were not seen for some time. Walkers had blobs of flour to follow and an occasional W just to make sure we were on the right track. Great bush track ....
In the distance, YAY, was the drink stop ....
Finally back at the start, we all re-appeared and were happy to join in some celebratory drinks and eats.
Charges were dished out and song sung ....
Pink Bits xxx

Big W's All The Way !

Our meeting place had ample space for parking but as the time got closer to start running and walking, we had used up every little bit of possible parking ... such was the large pack that materialized. As Hash Splash as a little tardy, we waited just a few minutes longer ... then Skippy gave us run instructions. (complete with drink stop)
He had worked really hard on this run ... it showed as the trail was exceptionally well marked  - (at least for the walkers) - You couldn't possibly get lost (could you GPS ?)
So, after a longish time (TOO LONG !) we all arrived back to mumble and grumble in the circle that the Hash Splash was one of the last to arrive and had not given his keys to anyone ... to find - he had ... but we didn't know ...
Oh, never mind, we got splash ...
Circle shenanigan's began in earnest with the Hare being fined for a fine run (if a bit long for a fairly hot day !) 3 wide-eyed and disbelieving virgins, (does anyone do these crazy things these days ?   ...   yep !) were given a down-down and took it on the chin !!!
Otherwise, Dripper, Franger, GPS and others were charged by the RA who was in fine fettle (till Dripper gave back as good as he got ...!)
We sang a rendition of the club song and tried to cool down .... It was still hot at 7pm !
Pink Bits    😎🏃👣

The True Blue Aussie Red, Red, Red Run !

The pack gathered in the car park at Coles much to the amusement of passers by on Australia Day. As the Red Family were the Hares, they gave out the run instructions, complete with drink stop.
We meandered off in many, many directions - our yellow shirts popping up here there and everywhere. The walkers trail was very well marked and progressed mostly through the metropolis of Mundaring with a short venture on the bridle path to find the drink stop ! No point waiting for the runners as they were still a long way off .... They got there eventually.
It was a red run in more ways than one as it was quite a hot day as well ! On the way back, a few of us digressed off trail to take in the atmosphere at the Shire event !
Once we all returned to the start and a few refreshments were consumed, we called the circle.
The run/walk was rated highly and the Hares were congratulated on their efforts. The Monk then took over to dish out some unfortunate charges with his usual aplomb ! Keen to get back to the Shire event, the circle was short and sweet a bit like the Tickhead Family who were leaving for Karratha after a short visit. They'll be back !!!
We sang the song and tripped over to see the bands & Laser Light Show promised by the Shire ......
Pink Bits xxx
(P.S. Next week's run from Duffield Rd off Ryecroft Rd Glen Forrest)
The Not Too Difficult, Not Too Long Run ?!?

The Hare, DOSH, had devised a very clever run/walk in the hilly area of Kalamunda.  It was fairly straightforward for the walkers and slightly less so for the runners.
We were a good sized pack and as the weather was kind, full of energy. After the directions were given, we set off on narrow, shady, bushy tracks that sometimes were a bit too close for comfort. After a few scratches and flicks of branches in the eyes, everyone was taking lots of care !
The walkers trail was very well marked, but some of us still managed to get a bit confused ... no names mentioned ... However, everyone eventually arrived back at the start.
After a horrific tasting of *** Lamington Chips *** the circle was called and charges dished out. This week, for once,  they were well deserved.  Notably, SNB for calmly standing around, waiting for Dripper to return with the keys to the splash, when in fact he had them in his pocket. Tut ... Tut ... Long Time No See's ...Tickhead, Lady Ga-Ga and Porn King ... and other charges too obtuse to mention. (GPS & Franger were in the mix)
Still, the run had been deemed very good for all and we tucked in to a lovely Hash Nosh courtesy of Light My Fire ... Great & thank you ...
Australia Day next week on Sunday .... Meet in the lower car park at Coles Mundaring
Pink Bits x
The Hill Or What Hill Run ???

Gathering at the designated spot, there was a good turn out for this weeks run. The Hares Leapfrog & Passiona were very excited dishing out the instructions with the promise of a drink stop !
Walkers and runners set off in the same direction, then veered off on separate runs. It was super shady, fairly flat (till the HILL - so am told) then we had a short and long (with HILL) walk.
Short walkers were back in no time, missing out the drinks, but the rest took a while ! Eventually, even the runners returned ... huffing and puffing !
In the circle, we welcomed 3 visitors (2 from Melbourne) and de-virginised them !  Very complicated process but quite painless !
We had a sort of discussion about *THE HILL* that was supposed to be so daunting ... not so apparently ... at least in comparison to Skippy's version a few weeks ago. The monk came on strong giving charges for lousy cars and birthdays ! Oh ... both to Dripper ! (Ho Ho)
Seeing as we had fully lubricated our vocal chords, we then sang a passable version of our club song.
Pink Bits xxx
On The Sweeping Plains Of The Serengeti ....

We Hashers get out and about a bit .... ! The Hares, Free Beer and Aurora (mini-Hasher) had spent quite some time carefully laying a significantly long trail on this somewhat warm day. A good pack assembled under the shady awning and were instructed with numerous new and old markings ... both chalk and flour ....
We set off and were soon amused by the runners milling about climbing fences ! That was the last we saw of them as they ran off into the African sun .... The walkers on the other hand, traversed miles of bitumen, concrete and then .... the savanna ! At any minute you could imagine a cheetah or leopard come charging out to devour unsuspecting Hashers ! We had been urged to *go up the bank* but which one ???? Still, after what seemed an age, we were either at the drink stop or back at the start ... once everyone was accounted for, we had the circle.
The usual charges by the RA were dished out as was the *Birthday Girl* celebrated. Leapfrog had bought a cake with fruit and wax all over it (had to be there)
Some of us had a BBQ afterwards and another Hash event passed un-noticed - except by a few !
Pink Bits xxx
It was good - Sheep Shunter did well  !  We all got back !
P B x
'Twas The Week Before Christmas ....

... And all through the run, not a creature was moving ... Oh ... !    only a bum !

Well, a few bums really, all moving quickly to a designated drink stop which was just fabulous ! Runners and walkers had a short circuit, organised by DOSH and Wacuda for this years Christmas run. It was a really good turn out and we had good weather (not too hot - not too humid)
We were all back in a short time to enjoy the festivities that Hills Hash always provide for the club. Santa made an appearance ( NOT in that scary suit !) and dished out some pressies. We ate and feasted on meats, salads and desserts .... and no-one went home hungry ! ( see Leapfrog if you are still hungry and want some more food !)
It was another great Hills Hash event ! There had been a circle and charges but all to difficult to repeat !
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to Everyone ....
Pink Bits xxx   
HOT !  HOT !   HOT !

4 days in a row of 40 degrees was a challenge ...One of those days with no power for 12 hours was a challenge ...  setting a run on a 40 degree day was a challenge ... but Pink Bits and Dripper rose to the occasion (quite early really) We expected a low turn out but were pleasantly surprised as we had a decent pack.
Always thinking of health and safety, there were some electrolyte drinks dished out BEFORE the run. The Hares reminded everyone to be safe, no need for heroism and that there would not be a drink stop. Also, it was a short trail for both walkers and runners.
After a short upward hike, we walked/ran into shady bush, very well marked for everyone !  It continued pretty much shady the whole way ....
In the blink of an eye, we were all back, slightly hot but in good fettle.(Apart from a local who thought we were spreading die-back ???) We imbibed some much needed refreshment and the circle was called. We were introduced to the GM's brother visiting from the Netherlands who was trained in how to master a down-down by his little niece ! So funny ... but he still got it wrong ! The RA managed to scramble a few charges together that were bit dodgy, however, for a change they were amusing !
Then the GM had the birthday girl, Hunny Bunny,  in for a hearty "Happy Burpday" song and we finished off with our club song.
Another great run ! Sorry to those who missed it, ... it actually was not that hot between 5- 6 pm.
No longer the Artful Dodger - Pink Bits xxx

Christmas Trees, Cartridges & Confusion !

Oh ... thanks Skippy for a wonderful title ! ! !
True to form, the Hare was ambiguous in his directions other than to say we were not entering any dangerous zones ! His short cutting instructions had a few walkers following W's and M's but I digress ... There were some rumblings of inaccurate trail markings ??? I do not believe it ....
It was a great run /walk that took in some very festive scenery and shady trails with the promise of  drink stop which really happened.  Knowing the Hare, we were prepared for some very difficult hills but not so .... JUST A RIDICULOUSLY LONG RUN ...
No-one complained tho ... much ! Some of us got a limo drive back to the start after the drink stop !
We all returned after about 1 hour and 20 minutes .... safe and sound ! (message to GPS - you would not have got lost !)
In the circle, we welcomed a virgin walker (we have had a few lately ...) and some long time no-sees - the RA administered his discipline with much gusto but got in to a bit of trouble himself (Hee-Hee)
We had a great afternoon .... as usual ... even Pick-Up-Chick managed to find a pick-up ??? possibly ?

Pink Bits (formerly known as *the Artful Dodger* - Thanks to Rock Bottom for stepping in with some great run reports)
Run 1946, 1 December
Hares: Dripper and Wacuda
Alan Anderson Park, Walliston

The (almost) Hareless Run

The nominal hare for this event was Franger but where, you may ask, was he, and so did most of the 40 odd hashers present.  Please note Franger, it is NOT okay to commit to a run then opt out at short notice unless you have provided a substitute.  So, perennial stalwarts, Dripper and Wacuda came to the rescue and saved the day and meanwhile we await Franger’s explanation, apology and replacement run…….  

We welcomed a virgin, Gee and celebrated the return of LTNS Bigus Dickus and Hawkeye.  Leapfrog had a more pressing engagement so she summoned her brother Harry, all the way from Bristol, UK as a substitute and he dutifully obliged.  Baldrick copped some flack for being the first walker home and for boycotting the drink stop AGAIN! He’s always in too much of a hurry to stop.  Pick Up Chick returned sporting a broken down fan – very useful if someone could fix it but alas, I suspect it is beyond redemption.  Pink Bits was charged for casting a man look at the esky and not being able to spot the bottle of bubbles.  Snake Charmer reluctantly accepted a DD for getting his maths mixed up.

So, an impressive turn out for what was a well set run and walk in a very suitable location and thanks to the two last minute hares.

Rock Bottom
Run 1945, 24 November
Hare: SNB, Co-hare: Rock Bottom
The Dell, Mundaring Weir Road

Disclaimer - In NO way does my position as co-hare have any bearing on the following summary of the 1945th HHH run.

What a fantastic run, undoubtedly a contender for event of the year!  Great location, excellent weather, a well-marked course, a drink stop, trees, not too many hills, pretty well the right length, nobody got lost, not even Pick Up Chick who ran it in reverse. This judgment was confirmed by members in the circle so definitely an unbiased account.

It was quite apparent during the circle that some hashers are assuming various roles within the club.  I feel it is my duty to name and shame them as follows:

The Artful Dodger – Pink Bits who has dobbed me in as scribe yet again, blaming her computer which is perhaps slightly less original than saying the dog ate her homework.

Club Pessimist – Dripper who laments the length of things.

Morals Officer – GPS who thoughtfully reminded us that HHH is a family hash.

Quality Control Officer – Little Weed who strives to maintain high standards in the drinks and snacks department.

The Camouflage Crew – Light my Fire, Sheep Shunter and Scooby Doo who arrived wearing garishly eye dazzling red and yellow shirts designed to blend in with the dull green of the eucalypts.  They failed.

No doubt there are others.  Stay tuned until next week although hopefully Pink Bits’ computer will have recovered.

Rock Bottom
Hills HHH Report
17 November:  Choir Girl soldiers on bravely despite being hungover

Okay so the official scribe was unable to write the run report this week owing to computer problems.  So, in the interests of accuracy, wouldn’t you think she’d seek a substitute from amongst all the worthies who actually did the walk or the run and paid attention in the circle? Well you’d be wrong.  After skipping the walk at the request of my 5yo grandson who decided the pool was a much more appealing option and missing the circle owing to the fact that I was trying to save him from drowning, Pink Bits suggested I do the report.  The logic is unshakeable.  I’ll try but it may lack forensic detail.

What to say?  The theme was definitely “hungover hare”.  My spies tell me the walk was a decent length, the run rather short.  Marks on trees were a novel idea but apparently they saved the hare from having to bend over thus preventing her from throwing up.  She may have slightly overdone the celebrations of her 60th birthday the previous night but why therefore should we all have to suffer an alcohol-free drink stop? Come on Choir Girl, it just won’t do!

A large turnout for the home run in Woorooloo as we (well not me, see above) amassed into an oblong for the circle with the GM and stand-in RA in fine form.  Gone For from Adelaide was welcomed along with LTNS Cow Pat and Blow Fly.  Choir Girl was suitably punished for her misdemeanours in setting the trail and there were other charges which I missed (see above).  An unusually enthusiastic rendition of the song ended the formalities after which some of us stayed for a bbq.  All in all, a most enjoyable evening.

Rock Bottom

Nov 10th, "Pole Dancer moves up a notch"
The pack met on a beautiful afternoon to tackle to flatlands of Forrestfield.
Hare Crusher, set the run using big coloured chalk directions. He managed to find many bush reserves and local parks, which made for a very intresting trail.
We all started off around the Hartfield park duck pond, with it's fountains and many varieties of water birds - Leapfrog even spotted a turtle.
The run was long, with few false trails and no hills, but the 5 star drink stop near the end made up for these small faults.
GPS was our stand in Monk and found lots of little dissappointments to dish out fines for.Skippy was fined for muddy shoes cause Sofie dragged him through a muddy drain.
Pole Dance was called out for wearing her Tee shirt inside out. After lots of calls for a strip, she actually entertained the pack by baring all and even a young guy driving out of the carpark was impressed!
Free Beer with Aurora on her back and Teflon Kid jogging along, managed to complete the long walk, so Teflon Kid has now officially got his Hash legs.
On On Leapfrog
Nov 3rd, Hare: Sheep Shunter
Described as the "Bayswater Marathon", this run had the pack pounding the pavment.
A great drink stop was enjoyed under the watchful eye of a building site security camera.
Thanks Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire, who are now enjoying a well deserved holiday in Bangkok and organising some new Hills Hash shirts.
Oct 27
The *** LOLLIPOP*** Run

Oh, poor delusional, delirious Hare P M talking about lollipops !  He was unwell, so sent his unsuspecting son, Spider,  to give run instructions to the pack. By the way, what about the "the winery is shut now"  comment ??? We had very limited parking and were nearly run down NUMEROUS times as wine drinkers came and went from the VERY OPEN winery ! Even when it was actually closed, wine drinkers still took a chance that it was still open .... (what am I thinking ... there are wine drinkers in the Hash as well - AND -  one of the members nearly ran one of us over as well ... more later)
So,  with the message from P M that the run & walk was a short, in the style of a lollipop ??? runners and walkers were on the same trail. Good beginning going down a very secure track monitored by a security company (of which we saw at least 3 utes emerge from said track !) Still, seemed like a good idea to just keep going - so we did ... and a pleasant meander it was with reasonably good trail laid down on a very hot day (well done P M) At one point, the walkers were a bit unsure as trail was vague (delirium)
but eventually, after the second hill - not nice P M - we found ourselves on the stick end of the lollipop.....and back to the start.
Everyone got back safely (always checking on GPS) and the GM called the circle. Now as this week was meant to be Halloween dress-up, the GM and Wacuda were resplendent in their home made cardboard vehicle, complete with headlamps falling off and fabulous air-bags fully inflated (plastic bags ... what were you thinking ?) This was to explain the slight prang but we won't go in to that. Sadly, not many other Hashers dressed for the occasion although Pink Bits managed to inflict a stabbing on Leapfrog with a mere twig of leaves. Much blood ensued in keeping with the occasion.
Little Weed got fined for trying (and not succeeding) to run over the pack, Crusher was noted for wasting away while Rock Bottom was elsewhere in the country (not eating apparently !? Come back R B ) and a few other minor charges.
We sang our hearts out (no vampires around thank goodness) and so ended this years 4 pm start of Hills Hash.
Next week we go to * 5pm * start  REMEMBER !
On On
Pink Bits x

20th Oct.
Hills River Run (with a few *almost* hills ! )

There was a good turn-out for this run, far,far from the Hills. The pack had to look around for scarce parking spots but eventually, we were advised by the Hares, Pink Bits & Dripper, that there were 2 distinct trails and only a drink stop for the walkers. Trail was marked with flour W's for walkers and *chalk* for runners. (something unusual)
So the pack set off on their respective paths ... I know the walk was flat, scenic, along the river and culminating in the Japanese garden tea temple at Adachi Park. Lots to see along the way but not sure if anyone actually went up the 55 step staircase to see the view and read about fish traps. There were some playgrounds to amuse the littlies !
The runners were treated to a significant run (8.3 km) but as it was almost flat, (some slight rises) there were a number of false trails which were easy to avoid by those living locally (eh ... Scooby ???)
Once we returned (no-one got lost) we had a few snacks and GM called the circle. The run was considered good by all and the RA set about charging the majority of the pack. How do we manage to rack up so many charges !?
We ended with a fine rendition of the club song and Hash Nosh courtesy of Light My Fire .... Thank you ..... also a bit of Birthday cake to celebrate Pink Bits
latest birthday .....!  
On On
Pink Bits
13th Oct.
"Just One Big Hill" said Skippy ! ! !
On a lovely, sunny but cool  day, we gathered at the park in Chidlow. It was a modest turn-out, as for numerous reasons (most of them reasonable) there were some Hashers missing - hope all's well DOSH ?
Skippy, the Hare, indicated there was 'just the one hill' but the drink stop was somewhere nearby ! So off we surged, runners and walkers on the same trail till we had W's and R's to mark separate trails. True to his form, the Hare had not skimped on the flour so the trail was very well marked and we were mostly in bush, full of wildflowers,  on a flat trail ! Sadly, it was littered with household items discarded by those who have little concern for the environment. Still, a very pleasant run .....
Until THAT hill  .............
It was the undoing of Pink Bits ... made it to 3/4 way up but then the sheer steepness and slippy gravel had her frozen to the spot .... until help arrived in the form of Dripper (hero - thank you) who assisted in the ascent ! The drink stop had moved on,  so it was back on the *on home* trail.
In the circle, the run was voted highly by the runners and walkers alike despite the hill !  A welcome *long time no see* was Pick-Up-Chick who obviously forgot it was a 4pm start ..... she reckoned a magpie prevented her from following trail. She would have had much to pick-up on trail !
There was a bit of blood-letting (Franger) and other charges by the RA (who had also returned from his druids gathering !)
Then after the song, we had a BYO BBQ but it was a bit too chilly to hang around too long.
On On
Pink Bits
6th Oct.
Crusher's Confusing Calculations ! ! !
The pack was warmly welcomed to the home of Hares - Rock Bottom & Crusher.
It was a very good turn-out on a beautiful day.
Instructions were given that the run was long-ish  and we were on the same orange chalk and flour blobs trail together, runners and walkers till approximately 2 KM. At that point we would veer off, left and right (R & W)
It was a lovely wonderland of native flowers and bushy trail. Some of it was filmed by *Gadget Gran* on her latest gizmo that looked more like a pepper spray ! (see Hills Hash Facebook page) Runners had zoomed away so it left the walkers doing many false trails and walking about in circles - most disconcerting.
After what seemed like 3.5 KM (and it was !) the R and W sign appeared. Really Crusher, are all blokes bad at measuring ???  :)
We did all get back safe and sound and the GM (DOSH) had managed to get a stand-in RA (Dripper) who between them dished out many charges and down-downs including some long time no sees ! The run was voted as great, despite the measuring issue, and we ended with a reasonable rendition of the club song !
On On
Pink Bits

Tanglewood Hash Away long weekend 29 Sep 19
The RA worked his magic by remote and gifted us perfect weather for this weekend.
 A small but select group of 13 hashers / golfers / drinkers / pyromaniacs / musos were out numbered about 40:1 by Owls.
Owls were everywhere - inside, outside, under the bed, in the soup, and at last count, over 280 on the owl walk.
However, working on the premise that you can never have too many owls, Leapfrog and helpers set about making a memorial owl for her 1000th run.
It was of course, made out of beer cans (see photo).
 Other memorable events;
  Hash golf won by team GPS - helped by Little Weed and Leapfrog. Dripper hit a hole-in-one at the 8 funnel hole. Was this cheating?

  The Run on Sunday was three bridges, a lot of hills and about 5 million ants. Scooby Do and Choir Girl fell victim to bites.
  The amazing wood fired Pizza oven provided us with very intrestin pizzas.

   Glorious spring gardens.

   Did I mention owls?

   The understated efficiency of our hosts - Leapfrog and Passiona resulted in a relaxing fun filled weekend

   Drippers 700th run, Karris 150th.

   The occasional owl.

Scribe - Rock Bottom.
22nd September Run Report
Lost In Space ..... ?

Not sure how to describe this week's run ..... but here goes .....
A tight parking spot caused some shuffling of cars and bemused Hashers watched a resident with keys go through the new shiny gate across the gazetted road (which would have led to a slightly bigger carpark ! Go figure ...)
The Hare, White Pointer, gave some instructions that .... well were not quite up to the mark and the pack departed on a gorgeous bushy and paddocky trail right down to the Helena River which was fairly full ... Mind you how we found the way, with the slightly quirky trail markings, is surprising ! To be absolutely honest, some of us didn't ! The trail has squiggly marks done with flour (very sparingly used ... only 99 cents from ALDI White Pointer I) that we had never seen before  so they indicated very little ... were they for runners or walkers ? Eventually we found signs for walkers or runners and spectacularly a special one for Franger .... OMG What the ....... !
Once everyone got back, we had so many charges to possibly mull over but after a quick head count one Hasher was missing ! Who could it be ???
The most illustrious GPS ... Lost yet again (anyone keeping score ?) Franger set off to look for him - came back without him - went again, then White Pointer was sent off, then Dripper joined the search and rescue team (all Hero's)
Skippy kept up a barrage of HORN ! (sometimes resembling a cow with too much wind) Still no sign of them .... a few of the pack had to leave and it was getting dark .... we were worried (Hashing IS dangerous)
Then out of the gloom came all 4 of them - GPS safe and sound - and arriving at a trot ! He had been half way to Darlington or somewhere ...
A very quick depleted circle was convened and the thrust of charges were aimed at White Pointer for lack of trail and GPS for getting lost and for the Hero's. As there were people (same woman) coming in and out of the gate, we had to sing the song while moving out of the way only to have a local come to see what all the fuss was about ! Talk about causing a stir GPS ???
PHEW what a run and aftermath ! ! ! !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
PS. There were other lost Hashers this weekend, more later.....
15th Sep Run Report
To Be ... Or Not To Be ... Disappointed !

Oh ! - and he was not ....  GPS that is - as his run was something completely different. In the depths of the flatish land, he had set the run on a fine Sunday afternoon. The pack was excitedly waiting till everyone arrived. Then the Hare went into overdrive discussing chalk, arrows, W's and all manner of trail. Walkers set off watching the runners do a complete circuit only to meet up with them (clever Hare) then sped off into the distance. We had been informed that every single hill, mountain and steep climb was ahead of us (in Guildford ???) and true to his word there was one  teesnsy weensy rise that mostly went un-noticed ! After a very lovely trail incorporating bushland, river, house and garden, we eventually emerged in a meadow ... not an ordinary meadow but a ROYAL one. GPS was like his chooks ... a mother hen keeping his eye on his brood ! Giddy with delight, the walkers and runners came back to the start and refreshed themselves thoroughly .... We had a fabulous circle with no bloodshed (see last week) and a few long time no see's - Side Saddle (now a married woman  !!!) & Catwalk with cute Otillia (check spelling ...) Some other charges were bestowed on the guilty or not ...
We sang the song and smelt the burgers cooking in the nearby joint !  Then it was On-On to any handy eateries and there were many choices ...
Till next week ...
Pink Bits xxx
8th of Sep Run Report
It Was All Amazing !
Skippy set this week's run and informed us that there was everything ...... views, water, steep climbs, vast bush and no drink stop ! He was right ..... It was all that and more. It was a great setting in the Mundy Regional Park Kalamunda and as the sun has decided to come out to play more often, we had a super run.
Walkers and runners set of in roughly the same direction but after a short time, we veered away only to hear the Hash Horn in the distance. "Bit of a hill at the start" was the advice from the Hare and W O W ..... was there a hill..... Vertical lift more like - still everyone did enjoy the view (what F*****G view puff pant !)The trail was so well marked that it was impossible to get lost ... however, not impossible for some serious trips, slides and falls.
Once the pack got back together the extent of the 'blood loss' was more evident (2 pints in all I believe, distributed between a few Hashers ...but mostly Leapfrog - Hashing is dangerous) ) Free Beer is the new Hash MASH thanks !
Still, the circle was convened and usual charges dished out by the GM and RA with a few extras for long time no-see's and LAME DUCKS ! The run was voted L O N G but good
Pink Bits xxx
01/09/19 Run Report
Running On Water !
What a day .... we had so many Hashers - we were inundated !
Or were  we... we were just the TRULY committed ones ??? (Yes ... even Franger !)
So, after the Hare (DOSH) had set the run 3 times (YES 3 times) we had some instructions about everyone being mostly on *runners* trail and then, only veering off a little .... however,  ... there is probably a cake in the valley somewhere !
The walk and run were really great .. VIEWS for ever ! (If only some of us could stop and look !) There was  a lot of  'down, down, down'  then - up, up, up - but eventually we heard the runners horn - way, way down in the valley ! That spurred  the walkers on - and they got back well before the runners ... good job Leapfrog had the keys to the splash wagon ... (SILLY THOUGHT  !)
Oh ! .. what a great circle too ! The charges were very minimal, but succinct .... the RA thought he had altered the weather & he did good ... we had so much fun with blue skies ! ! Not a lot to report .. This week's lame duck award went to Skippy - but -  if not ... it went to someone else ! Charges sorted ... we sang the song ... End of run .... !
Pink Bits xxx
25/08/19 Run Report.

Tales Of Brave Dripper ...
Getting up from his sick bed, Dripper set a magnificent run that sent us all up hill and down dale ... Some of us managed to stop and smell the flowers ...
Very few complaints ... and many accolades !
The RA had his usual *quirky* charges ...  nothing too significant to report ...
We had a good circle and sang the song !
On On
Pink Bits x
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