This is as good a place as any to start. Here's me outside the gates of Buckingham Palace.
What IS this bloke on the right doing? Just take the picture, mate, don't worry about the calisthenics.
The Houses of Parliament, from across the Thames.
The lawn outside Hampton Court, where Stuart, Michelle and I had lunch after a nice boat ride up the Thames. I believe the boat was called Pete, or Gareth, or something equally uninspiring, but had been one of the boats that took part in the rescue from Dunkirk.
Here is a statue that stands in the gardens behind Hampton Court.
Mmmm, boobies. Tee, hee!
The Imperial War Museum, stacked with loads of things that I wont bore you with.
I read somewhere else that this building was once Bethlehem Hospital, which was a mental asylum and is where the word bedlam came from, as the mental hospital was open to the public, who could pay a fee and enjoy the mad (literally) antics of the inmates. What a great day out for the kids.
London Bridge. Not falling down though. HA! HA!
Not the original London Bridge, built by the Romans, there have been six all up. The one previous to this stands on Lake Tahoe after it was sold to the Americans in the fifties (I think,) who were disappointed when they received it because they thought they were getting Tower Bridge.
Caveat Emptor.
While I was taking this photo an American interrupted me to ask where London Bridge was. I pointed at it and he said, "No, that's not it."
When will they learn?
This was what he really wanted. I was in a good mood that day so I pointed it out to him.
The Tower of London. This is the White Tower built by William I.
The tours given by the Yeoman Warders at the tower are an absolute hoot.
The Royal Observatory at Greenwich.
This photo was taken from the hill on which Greenwich Observatory stands. You can see Queens House and behind it the Royal Maritime Museum. The Royal Maritime Museum was originally built as a hospital for retired seamen, designed by Christopher Wren, whose only instructions were that it must not block the view of the Thames from Queens House, where Queen Anne lived. Hence he had to build it in two parts.
Two shots taken from the London Eye, the Houses of Parliament and Nelsons Column.
If you ever go to London, the London Eye is definitely worth checking out. It's a massive ferris wheel with enclosed observation platforms and gives you a truly spectacular view of central London.
Here's the statue of Marshal Foch of France with escort of armed pigeons. I knew when I saw him I wasn't far from home, because he is right outside Victoria Station and is looking right at my hotel.
The statue of Eros in Piccadilly Circus at night.
The Prince Albert Memorial which is opposite the Albert Hall.
The Albert Hall which is opposite the Prince Albert Memorial.
What a coincidence!
A troop of the Blues and Royals, who have just been relieved from standing guard outside Horse Guards Parade in Whitehall.
You're better off checking out the the changing of the guard here at Horse Guards because it occurs more often than at Buckingham Palace and is more spectacular, 'cos it has horsies.
The Wordsworth Hotel at Grasmere, where my old mates Richard and Sheena were married.
William Wordsworth used to hang out here, apparently. It's miles from anywhere so I guess he must have been brooding about something. Never you mind my poets, Mr. Blackadder.
The view from the back of the hotel. When someone or other penned the phrase 'Englands green and pleasant land' they were probably thinking about this place. While I was standing out by the lawn, drinking Pimms (the perfect hangover cure, by the way) it rained about five times, each time for no more than two minutes. It's that kind of place. Can you get any more English than that? Magic.
The British Museum, where a great many antiquities from far off lands reside, because they simply can't be trusted in the hands of foreigners. Quite right.
One of the most recognised pieces from the collection known as 'the Elgin Marbles.'
Lord Elgin was appointed British ambassador to Constantinople in 1799 and had originally intended to take castings and paintings of the friezes of the Parthenon, which over the previous 2,000 years been variously bombed, vandalised, pillaged and neglected. His efforts were alternately blocked or exploited by the local Turkish commander (at that time the Parthenon in Turkish hands and known to them as the 'Temple of Idols.) Eventually he obtained permission from the authorities in Constantinople to take whatever he liked ,so long as he did not "...interfere with the works or walls of the Citadel." This he did with a singular enthusiasm and would have removed more if there had been sufficient transport.
Another amazing part of the frieze, this time depicting a battle between male and female warriors.
The oldest known depiction of Christ, found in Britain. Historians know that this mosaic depicts Christ because it has the letters XP included in it.
Is there some connection with Microsoft?
Mummified Cats. I think I had one of these in a curry on Brick Lane.
St Paul's Cathedral, looking like it needs a jolly good scrub.
HMS Victory, Nelsons Flagship at the battle of Trafalgar, which now stands in dry dock at Portsmouth.
The Royal Tank Museum at Bovington in Dorset.
I have a picture of every single tank inside, but I wont subject you them.
Oh, maybe just one. A German eight wheeled armoured car. There was much discussion before I left as to how armoured cars steer, whether they articulate their wheels or simply slow down the wheels on one side or the other. This one articulates. Handy.
Aren't you glad you read this?
The Fovant Badges in Salisbury, which I stumbled upon purely by accident. Serendipity.
Stonehenge.
If you want to get closer than this you have to pay.
Bugger that, it's just a bunch of stones in a field.
Seen 'em, let's move on.
The view from the window of the bar at the Grouse Inn in Carrog, Wales.
What a grouse inn.
The road to Anglesey.
Just after I took this two RAF Hawks roared over my head, chasing each other up the valley, below the level of the peaks on either side.
The famous town in Wales with the longest name in the world, which I again stumbled upon by accident.
I didn't know I was stopping here because the road signs just say Llanfairpwll. They leave out the gwyn...gogogoch bit.
Fair enough, too.
The fearsome Irish Sea.
Fearsome me bollocks.
World Tour of England, Ireland and Wales - the second bit
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