The Fundamental Church of Goth

Last Updated: March 14 1999


The history of this Concept:

The "Fundamental Church of Goth" concept came up as a by-product of a discussion of Religion. I was sitting with one of my neighbours drinking coffee one afternoon and talking about all sorts of stuff and she mentioned that she hated Islamic Fundamentalists. I pointed out that the Christian ones were just as bad, sometimes worse and that most Fundamentalists of any religion could give the religion a bad name because too many people who called themselves Fundamentalists were really fanatics. The next day, in an email, I mentioned this to Kerry and said that most Fundamentalists wear lots of black clothing just like Goths and that I could see a "Fundamental Church of Goth". She agreed and we started discussing what the tenets might be. I suggested that we seek input from a bulletin board we're both on and I collected 14 responses (some good, some bad).

I came up with the following tenets based on the discussions and bulletin board stuff. I also decided that I should limit the tenets of the Fundamental Church of Goth to thirteen, a number associated with death and darkness......:)

The Tenets:

1

Thou shalt value Style and Artifice before Substance.

 

2

Thou shalt wear black regularly and keep it hole-y.

 

3

Thou shalt wear boots.

 

4

Thou shalt wash regularly (it's easier on the make-up).

 

5

Thou shalt remain pretentious at all times.

 

6

Thou shalt bitch about others.

 

7

Thou shalt dislike the intolerant and close-minded (particularly Rednecks).

 

8

Thou shalt be depressed regularly and mope often.

 

9

Thou shalt listen to darkwave/indie music (preferably in the dark).

 

10

Thou shalt dislike sunlight.

 

11

Thou shalt read and quote poetry and philosophy (particularly if you're an "old goth").

 

12

Thou shalt prefer to drink copious amounts of White Spirits (Vodka etc).

 

13

Thou shalt seek new experiences (preferably alcohol or drug-related ones ;)).