Guinness and Chips Golf Club Limericks

"Hit dum haerent descendit"

Collection of "Limericks of the Week", written at Wembley Public Golf Course on Saturday afternoons while consuming Guinness and Chips after nine arduous holes of golf.

GCGC Videos. Marvel at our high-quality swings as we each drive off the first tee.

Tony Harding 18/03/17

Tony finished 2016 on a high, with his handicap down at 5 (for 9 holes), but in 2017 he has seen a lot of bad luck on the course. Today was a notable low point.

When Tony plays golf he aims high

So his troubles today made us sigh

If we speak in Roman

It might stop him groanin'

His score it was LVII

St John Kenny 11/03/17

Poor St John. He made a good start to a hole but then got stuck in a bunker. After quite a few unsuccessful attempts to get out of it, he resorted to flailing wildly away with his sand wedge, sending sand flying everywhere.

The drive St John hit was a shiner

His second shot couldn't be finer

But from there it was crap

He got stuck in a trap

So he opted to dig through to China

Jim Hewitt 4/03/17

Jim has been playing with our group for a couple of months. This limerick is a reflection on whether he fits in. His ability to put up with our teasing is strongly in his favour.

Our group is divided in thirds

The good, the indifferent, the turds

We're sure Jim would be

In one of those three

And he even survives our hard words


Limericks from other years: 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017

Let us pray for better golf next week.

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Limericks composed by David Pannell unless otherwise indicated.

Copyright David J. Pannell, 2009-2015
Last revised: March 18, 2017.