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Lemonricks

A student of Darwin named Bunky
debated a Creationist junkie:
‘Your theory of hosannas
is completely bananas
Jesus evolved from a monkey.’

There was a timpanist named Flynn
who forgot to tighten his skin
during Beethoven’s 5th
at the mark fff
he hit it too hard and fell in.

My grandmother sang from Puccini
while attempting to boil fettuccini
once doing a rendition
in a yoga position
she slipped scalding her kundalini.

A three-legged dog from Hanover
tried pissing on hydrants in Dover
winds from the Channel
would disoriente the Spaniel
she’d lift her back leg and fall over.

There was a French chef named Marais
whose wig fell in the soufflé
it wouldn’t rise higher
so he set it on fire
and served it up Toupée Flambé.

A student of Schoenberg named Otis
in yoga could do a full lotus
he stood on his head
used eleven tones instead
fortunately nobody noticed.

Notes: The limerick form can be found in England as of the early years of the 18th century but was popularized by Edward Lear in the 1800s.

Some hold that the true limerick, as a folk form is always obscene, as does George Bernard Shaw, who described the clean limerick as a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity.

The writing of limericks was practiced by Edward Lear, W.S. Gilbert, Isaac Asimov, Bennett Cerf, Quentin Crisp, Kenneth Rexroth, Rudyard Kipling, Mark Twain, W.H. Auden, James Joyce, H G Wells, Dante Rossetti, Erica Jong, Lewis Carroll, Spike Milligan and Aldous Huxley.