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Friday December 5th, 2008

I Guess

'It's a poor war that doesn't make a decent patriot rich.'
King Carney, in Australia

Hi folks,

The cynical quote above, from Baz Luhrman’s 2-D quacktacular, Australia, is a far cry from the reality of the founding fathers of the American Revolution, just about everyone of whom died either in poverty or ruin. Real patriots don’t get rich from war. Yet, yesterday, another well-known American faux patriot, George W Bush, soon to be joining G Gordon Liddy raking in the dough on the lecture circuit, said his "biggest regret" in office was US intelligence that incorrectly stated Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. (Blame the spooks, George.)

"A lot of people put their reputations on the line and said the weapons of mass destruction is a reason to remove Saddam Hussein ," Bush said in an interview with US ABC News set to air in the US on Monday evening. "It wasn't just people in my administration. A lot of members in Congress, prior to my arrival in Washington, DC, (Read: Clinton administration) during the debate on Iraq, a lot of leaders of nations around the world were all looking at the same intelligence," he said. "I wish the intelligence had been different, I guess," Bush added.

Well, I guess that’s Bush-speak for ‘eh DUH!’ And Dubya hasn’t let us down with yet again another lesson in Texas English: ‘ . . .the weapons of mass destruction IS a reason . . .’

Thanks But No Thanksgiving
My brother, Frank, emailed to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. He well knows we don’t have a Thanksgiving here in Australia, but since I am a dual national, he thought I would be celebrating it in spirit. Actually, we ought to be cooking some turkeys here. Although the pilgrims didn’t land here, the premise of the holiday is still the same, as Bill Lempke puts it: ‘a traditional Thanksgiving is celebrated by inviting your local neighbors to a feast, slaughtering them and stealing their lands.’
But instead of a turkey (or a tofurky, for the vegans), we could eat a joey (or a joefurky) – or a small politician (a tofutician). Thanks to Frank, also, for the uTube of William Burroughs reading his 1986 Thanksgiving Prayer:


Catholic Priest Explains Why 'Shaddap You Face,' is Actually the Word of God - Heymen!
'God created us in His image. Since then, however, human beings have been trying to create God in their image. The word god came from the anglo-saxon. It means one who is greeted. God is the mystery of life we greet. Experiencing God is like saying Hey! Sometimes we experience the mystery of God in a flower, in another person, in ourselves. The mystery expresses itself in everything. When we recognize it, and try to put a word on it, it's Hey! ‘ Father Daniel Martin, Catholic priest, Rye, New York

' H(ey) is a letter in the Hebrew alphabet. The Dreidel (four sided top) has four letters, and one is 'Hey'.' (Nes Gadol Haya Sham – "a great miracle happened there") Rabbi Alicia Bay Laurel, California

And so it came to pass. . . .

Attention All Elves! Santa Joseph is starting to assemble the bits for his gala Christmas Issue so if anyone has anything that can help others see this Great Holiday from a different perspective, and that they think ol’ Santa hasn’t printed before, send it along. You can refresh your memory from the Newsletter Archive if you want to see what’s come before. The Christmas Issues Past make fascinating reading and the Fat Bearded One is tempted to print the best of the last five issues. What do the Helpers think?



A guy is  80 years old and loves to  fish.
He  was sitting in his boat the other day when he  heard a voice say,
'Pick  me up. '
He looked around and couldn't see any one.  He thought
He was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,  'Pick me up.'   
He looked in the water and there, floating on the  top, was a frog.

The man said,  'Are you talking to  me?'
The  frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up  then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most
beautiful woman you have ever  seen.
I'll  make sure that all your friends are envious and  jealous because I
will be your  bride!'

The  man looked at the frog for a short  time, reached over,  picked it
up carefully,  and  placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then  the frog said,
'What, are you nuts? Didn't you  hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will be  your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and  said,

'Nah,  at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With  age comes wisdom.
(Thanks to Andrew Bicknell)


Hi Joe,
Love the newsletter! PLEASE KEEP ME ON YOUR LIST. JB

Ah! an early Christmas present! Thank you soooooo much...what a lovely surprise waiting for me this morning. I'm going on a cruise so I will have plenty of time to read! I'm taking my Mother on the cruise for her Birthday...she a wonderful Scot, a true heart of gold, strong, loyal and has just about ALL the qualities of any knight of the round table. No coincidence at all that she is my Mother and trusted friend...I love her dearly. I've know her forever... Hope everything is happening the way you want it....sometimes this universe has a little habit of taking it's time to catch up with how fast we operate and create visions! Enjoy the moment! Right now I'm looking over a wonderful view of hundreds of old trees, I'm right here in this glorious moment with a little smile on my face knowing what treasures lay in the words of the books on my desk top! RKT

Re: Rose, the Italian Mama Who Was the Inspiration for Shaddap You Face
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you folks over day. . . . Rose taught me alot about cooking, it was funny 'cause when I used to ask her how much ingredients to add she would yell at me and just say..." Just put the goddam stuff in." Yes Mam.......... Love Franco

Hi Joe,
I missed Adolf Hitler’s Trout with Butter Sauce recipe. Can you email it to me? Cheers, Julia

(Note: Julia, If you miss a newsletter, or recipe, you can always find them archived on my website. The infamous recipe is at the bottom of the last newsletter I sent out before my US trip:
Ps. Julia, if you are interested in things Ayran, check out the Twin Uber-Heidis, ‘Prussian Blue’ , Lynx & Lamb, at the Nordiska Festivalen singing ‘The Stranger’:
As a blog reviewer succinctly put it:
‘lol, these chicks gonna be banging basketball players real soon.’ BabyFacedAssassin
Also -
A couple of young Goths lip-synching to Prussian Blue’s ‘Road to Vahalla’:
The original ‘Tomorrow Belongs to Me’:
And finally, ‘Nigga vs Nazi’:

Dear Joe,
Re: Obama T-Shirt
Have also returned from a jaunt in the States during which I was in that country for the election, which I watched on TV from my room at Excalibur in Vegas. Yes, I bawled and yes, we bloody well can. . . Joe, despite the fact that your t shirt has one of the most beautiful people in the world on it, and the bloke in it ain't too shabby either, that has got to be the WORST t shirt I have ever seen. Sorry. . . Still think your shirt is awful but heck, if you've got the guts to wear it, then bugger spoilsports like me and wear it with pride. And leave the sunnies on in case you run into something reflective and give yourself a heart attack. You can take the boy out of Italy... Kind regards, Robyn Jones, Kin Kin

(Note: Robyn, darling, my t-shirt is an official bling t-shirt. Tacky is part of the charm of bling. Don’t bring good taste into the equation and ruin a beautiful bling. You can take the girl out of Pomona . . .)

Dear Joe Dolce,
Greetings to You through Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior , I would like to Congratulate You and Your Ministry (Joe Dolce Music Ministry) for working hard and trying to win Souls for Christ though Your Music Ministry.
My name is Dr. Frank Deckland of ( S.F.C.C.M.I.) here in Ontario, Canada, We are a Christian Charatible Mission Serivce Reviewer; We review and give Grants/Aid to deserving Mission/Ministry here in North America, Europe, Oceania and Asia.
Your Ministry was refer to us by Christians Worldwide Mission Support, We put Your Ministry into review and look at the kinds of Programmes and Services You give fellow Christians and Worshipers and it is outstanding ; it is good to win Souls for the Lord thriugh Music, Teaching, Preaching and We are doing this to encourage believers especially Small or Growing Ministries to stand on their feet; We believe with Our Grant/Aid You can do more and win more souls for Christ.
This Year We have increased Our Grants/Aid to 40 Reciepients across the 3 Continents North America, Europe and Asia and We are pleased to let You know that You are a Proud Reciepient, Our Grants are Small and Free absolutely Free, We do this so that Young or Small Ministries around the Globe can work and reach out to Christians and Non- Christians in their Communities/ Homes and Countries whilst they are away from home, We pray that with time and hardworks we will increase on Our Grants/Aid as We get more Contributors and Sponsors to Come over in the following Years to come.
Been choosen as a Reciepient doesn`t mean You have the Grant it only means that you or your Ministry is a Favorite, This Year we have budgeted ( 5) Eleven Million Euros that We would give out as Full Free Grants to deserving Missions/Ministries here in Europe,A sia and North America, I would kindly like for You to answer the following questions and with Your reply We will conclude whether the Full Grant will be giving to Your Mission/Ministry .
1. What is the full name of Your Institution Mission/Ministry ( Music Minsitry ) ?
2. What Year was it founded? and How old is Your Institution?
3. What is the present Membership or Congregation of Your Ministry/Mission?
4. What is the Logo for Your Institution?
5. Is Your Misnistry/Mission registered with Your local State/Government ?
6. What is Your Mission/Ministry golas in the Years/Furture to come?
7. Do You have a Welfare Department in Your Mission/Ministry ( Music Minsitry ) ?
8. Do You have Scholarships or other programmes to help Students, Disables and the needy ?
9. If You are awarded this Grant/Aid what will Your Mission/Ministry do to Improve the lives and win souls for Christ in Your Mission/Ministry ?
10. Please do send us Your direct mailing address and Phone numbers for future contacts if You are Accepted. ( Thank You )
Thank You very much and Your time, Your Prompt and Positive answers to the above Questions will determined whether Your Institution is fully eligible to receive the Grant/Aid.
This Year each Institution, Mission or Ministry ( Music Ministry ) that is accepted to receive the Grant/Aid will receive Euros € 200,000.00 each, We hope with this amount You can do more for God and Continue in your ( Music Ministry ) Church Planting and winning Souls for Christ through whatever way You and Your Ministriy is called to share the goodnews of the Gospel of Christ.
Thank You very much for Your time and patience in reading this e-mail, Your timely reply is highly Appreciated.

Dr. Frank Deckland
President ( CEO)
( S.F.C.C.M.I ) © 2008.
Christian Music Mission International,
Christian Mission Reviewer,
29A Rue Du Avenue Pompidou,

(Note: Dear Brother Deckland, greetings to you, in Jesus H. Christ, our Lord and Savoured. Brother Deckland, with all due respect, you have as many spelling errors in your letter as a Brother George W Bush speech on a good day. It is a testimony to God’s grace that an uneducated man like yourself can rise to the top of such a reputable organization as the Christian Music Mission International. Praise the Lord and Tune the Guitars! I speak on behalf of my sacred newsletter congregation when I say that we are honoured to be shortlisted for some Grant/Aid and can guarantee that the funds will be put to good use here in the pagan wilderness of Australia. Our first task will be to take as many little white children as we can away from their TV and football-addled parents and put them up for adoption with good African-American Baptist families in the US so that they can learn to talk in tongues and Holy Roll for Jezzzzus. The lack of rhythm is appalling in Australian children, as are basic skills such as chillin’ out and making BBQ pig tails. You ask about the ‘golas’ of our Music Ministry. One of our first ‘golas’ would to teach people how to spell the word properly, have mercy! You ask how we plan to win souls to Christ? Once again we turn to the Reverend George W Bush for guidance where it is not necessary to win souls when you can rig the spiritual ballot box, if you get my ecclesiastical drift. A substantial special dispensation will be given for any group willing to abduct and deprogram Brother Baz Luhrman and teach him some basic storywriting skills. Lesson One: what is the meaning of the word, cliché, Baz? Lesson Two: Review Lesson One. But the majority of the grant money will be used to record and produce a new CD for the Joe Dolce Music Ministry which will focus on the gay and lesbian poetry that Reverend Dolce has set to music over the years. Reverend Dolce’s theory is that the best way to discourage homosexuality is to ENCOURAGE it. A seeming parodox, I know, but mysterious are the ways of the Lord, have mercy! I mean, if we are all going to be pulled out of our clothes and dragged up to heaven during the Rapture, what difference does it make whether we’re Biting Jesus’s Pillow or taking the One-eyed Snake to the Goddess of Optometry? Finally, if there is any money left over, we wouldn’t mind purchasing a new set of wheels for the ministry here, as the 1980 Holden we are currently driving is a crapper (God forgive me!). Got to toddle now: collection boxes to empty, sinners to be saved, you know, the usual canonical duties of a servant of The Beloved Risen Hebrew.
Bless you, Brother Decker, and may God give you a Sign for Christmas,
(or even better, A GPS tracker straight to Our Lord, Jezzzzzus!)

Father Hans Onachild,
Secretary in Charge of Choirboys, Lapsed Catholics and Scourging
The Joe Dolce Music Ministry
666 Golgotha Crescent
Melbourne, Australia

A System Built on Crisis and Violence : Interview with Naomi Klein
Anthony Arnove: When you look at how the disaster of the U.S. occupation of Iraq is portrayed these days, the emphasis now is always on the mistakes the Bush administration made and its incompetence in planning for the occupation. In The Shock Doctrine and your essay “Baghdad Year Zero,” you paint a very different picture of the underlying reasons for the invasion and occupation. Why do you think that the framework of “mistakes” and “mismanagement” is still the primary way people analyze the war, despite the evidence?

Naomi Klein: When you push people about what they believe the broader mission is, they don't really have an answer, because all of the “official” stories have fallen away.
Nobody really believes it's about “bringing democracy,” and we know there were no WMDs and no 9/11 link. So the idea that economic ambitions for the region could have been an essential motivating force and the centerpiece of the postwar plan seems to be a logical conclusion to draw, based on the evidence we have.
It's not a secret plan. So an effort has been made on the part of analysts to downplay this in the face of overwhelming evidence that this was a priority.
I think the reasons for this are complex, and they include a need to believe in American goodness around the world--Gary Wills talks about the myth of “original sinlessness.”
I've been struck in my interviews with the liberal press in this country about the need to believe in the good intentions of even those American politicians who, in every other arena, are treated as truly sinister--people like Dick Cheney or Paul Wolfowitz, who are the butt of every late-night joke.
The point of those jokes is usually that these are really scary characters, especially Dick Cheney. But if you draw a conclusion from this that he might also be capable of being motivated by self-interest and greed, both personally and for his circle of friends, this is seen as completely conspiratorial, and then we revert to the narrative of American “good intentions.”
So it's allowable to criticize the execution and criticize the management, and you can say it was ill advised. But you can't say that the intentions were bad.
I should add that I believe the major players have their own narratives that disguise and rationalize those intentions--the benefits of trickle-down economics, the need to protect Israel and so on.
But even if we accept the idea that Paul Wolfowitz had this so-called “good intention” of spreading democracy through the Middle East and turning Iraq into a model free-market liberal democracy in the heart of the Arab world, that's not idealism--that's imperialism. That is an inherently violent idea.

Giant orgasm planned for late December

A group of global peace activists have organised a worldwide, simultaneous orgasm as a way of affecting peace and reducing tension across the globe.
That's right, a giant, synchronised orgasm.
Despite a shred of evidence to prove it has any effect whatsoever, the second annual Global Orgasm for Peace takes place on Saturday, December 22nd (5.08pm AEDT, for those interested), and is aimed at "effecting positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy."

Folks, for Melbourne, Australia, you need to synch up at 5:08 PM on Saturday Dec 22nd. (For other time zones, check here:



If you see this woman turning in clockwise you are using your right brain. If you see it the other way, you are using left brain. Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way. See if you can make her go one way and then the other by shifting the brain's current.


If you look away, she may switch from one direction to the other. I found that if I just look at her feet or relax and look at the floor where the reflection shows, she will switch direction! See if you can use both sides of your brain.
(thanks to Joe Creighton)

New drug dims pain like pot: study
Scientists have found a way to release the pain-relieving potential of one of the same proteins in the body activated by marijuana, according to a study released on Sunday. In experiments on mice, researchers found a chemical that prevents a naturally occurring enzyme from blocking this cannabinoid receptor, called 2-arachidonoylgylcerol, or 2-AG.

Gulpilil Didn't Know Hendrix Was Dead
Australia star David Gulpilil leads such a remote life in the outback, he has only just discovered Jimi Hendrix, who he befriended 38 years ago, has died. The 55-year-old Aboriginal has starred in a string of hit Aussie movies since finding fame in 1970 epic Walkabout. But he still lives deep in the bush, cut off completely from civilisation. And during a casting meeting for Australia, director Baz Luhrmann was stunned to discover how out of touch Gulpilil really is. The filmmaker says, "He's quite mystical. I went to see him and he said, 'Baz. That fellow I played didgeridoo with all those years ago. Jimi Hendrix. Is he still around?' "He had no idea." Hendrix died in London in 1970, shortly after his meeting with Gulpilil.

What I’m Reading This Week
Confrontation at Lepanto, by TCF Hopkins. Christianity vs Islam. Account of one of the most contradictory battles of the 16th century. Pope Pius V’s creation of the Holy League, Christendom’s answer to Jihad. In the decisive sea battle, the Crusaders lost 17 ships and 7500 men and the Muslims lost 200 warships and 20,000 men.

What I’m Watching This Week
Selena ‘Live’ - The Last Concert. Last recorded performance of the exciting Mexican-American singer before she was murdered by the president of her fan club.

The Unit. Series 3. Produced by David Mamet, and based on the experiences and book, ‘Inside Delta Force’, by Sgt Major Eric L. Haney. Brilliant! Stories of the first counter-terrorist unit in the US Army, set up by Colonel Charlie A. Beckwith, modeled on the British SAS, with whom he served in an exchange program, in the early 60s.

Some 300,000 kids ill from tainted milk
‘China says a total of 294,000 children had fallen ill from consuming dairy products tainted with the industrial chemical melamine, with 154 of them still in serious condition. In a statement on its website on Monday, the health ministry indicated the death toll may also rise from the four previously announced, saying that six deaths since September 10 may be linked to the consumption of melamine-laced milk.’

Why is Melamine added to milk powder?
The most important nutrient in milk is protein.
And, Melamine has this same protein that contains 'NITROGEN.'
Adding Melamine into milk reduces the actual milk content required,
and therefore it is cheaper than all milk. So it lowers the capital required
in the production of milk products.
Melamine looks like milk /milk powder and doesn't have any smell, so cannot be detected.
For more information, download this .pdf file:
(thanks to Dai Woosnam, UK)

Save The Net
The Federal Government is planning to force all Australian servers to filter internet traffic and block any material the Government deems ‘inappropriate’. Under the plan, the Government can add any ‘unwanted’ site to a secret blacklist.
Testing has already begun on systems that will slow our internet by up to 87%, make it more expensive, miss the vast majority of inappropriate content and accidentally block up to 1 in 12 legitimate sites. Our children deserve better protection - and that won't be achieved by wasting millions on this deeply flawed system.
(thanks to Terry Dwyer)

Click the ball to Change it’s colour! This will drive you crazy!
(Thanks to Blaise Van Hecke)




‘Go to Joe at Dolce!’

Dolce Salon & Spa
14510 F St # 106
Omaha, NE 68137

‘I am new to town and met a girl at the gym- I liked her hair and she told me to go to Joe at Dolce, so I do. The man is a hair genius.... He did things with my hair I did not think could be done. I'm from California and my old stylist was an educator for aquage-she was good, but just couldn't get my hair to not look so dry. Joe is an educator for Loreal and he and Loreal did magic!!!! I love my hair, my husband loves my hair, and so does my new friend. Thanks Kim! Joe also gave me a coupon to try Jorge his new massage therapist OMG --- He was awsome...... I have had massages all over the world-yes I said world Brazil, Italy, Germany, New Zealand---You get the picture and most of the 50 states--- HE"S THE BEST!!!!! I can't wait to go back and see what else this sheek place has to offer.’ Satisfied Customer Review


Theories on 1-2-3 Pasta Frollo

I got into some serious debate in Harbor Springs,Michigan, during my songwriting retreat, with two of the fabulous cooks there, about my 1-2-3 sweet short crust pastry (pasta frollo), which I learned from master baker, Loretta Satori, here in Melbourne. I make pasta frollo with the ratio: 1 part sugar, to 2 parts butter, to 3 parts flour (1 egg optional). I also mix the butter, sugar and egg together first, to make a paste; then add the sifted flour. I do all of this by hand.
The method, in the States, apparently is to use the 1-2-3 method, but instead substitute: 1 part water, to 2 parts shortening/lard, to three parts flour. Also, to mix the shortening/butter with the flour, and make coarse crumbs – then add the water. (Six of one, half dozen of the other, as to the mixing methods.)
Now, obviously, this crust can’t be called sweet.
I’ve considered this method and have come to the conclusion that it is inferior to the sweet shortcrust I learned from Loretta. Here is my reasoning: firstly, I have two simple rules about cooking that I follow –
1. Never use water when you can use stock, or something with flavour, and
2. Make all the parts of a recipe work separately, whenever possible - before adding them to each other.

Let’s look at Number 2 first. Using shortening or lard and water, mixed to the flour, doesn’t produce a pastry that I would want to eat by itself. Certainly, you can argue that with the sweet filling, the flavours will balance out - but the reality is this: remember all those pies you ate as a kid where you left the crust. Nobody leaves the crust on the plate in my pies! Because my crust is actually a shortbread biscuit. You can eat the crust - without the filling! The sugar and butter component add FLAVOUR to the flour. If you prefer your pastry less sweet, use less sugar, but keep it tasting great on its own. I add an optional egg if I want the dough to hold together better. Never water. Water has no flavour and only dilutes flavour. To keep it flakey, just be careful not to over-knead.


This is my variation of a classic kahlua pecan pie that you can find all over the internet. People have substituted bourbon, brandy, rum, buttermilk, sour cream and chocolate chips, amongst other things. My own contribution has a kahlua and brown sugar syrup added just before serving which makes it very moist and puts it somewhere between a traditional pecan pie and a baklava. The basic recipe and idea for the pie itself is from Dick Martin, which I tasted a couple of weeks ago at Studio E, Sebastapol, CA. (The best pecan pie I have ever eaten, too!) The pasta frollo crust is an adaptation of a recipe learned from Loretta Satori in a hands-on workshop, and the method is a combination of Dick’s, and songwriter, Jim Photoglo’s.

Pasta Frollo 1-2-3
 Pie Crust:
105 g cake flour (sifted)
105 g plain flour (sifted)
140 g unsalted butter (cold)
70 g castor sugar (or less)
1 egg, beaten (optional)

Using a cheese grater, grate the cold butter into a large bowl. Cream butter and sugar lightly.
Add the beaten egg and continue creaming until absorbed.
Carefully fold in the flours, mixing only until just combined.
The dough will still be a little sticky.
Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least an hour.
Remove dough from fridge and let rest for 15 minutes.
Knead the chilled dough lightly first to soften, then roll out evenly in all directions, with a small amount of dusting powder, to about an eighth inch in thickness.

Blind Bake:
Preheat oven to 180C.
Line a 9 inch pie pan with the pastry, pressing gently into base and sides.
Cut excess pastry around edge with rolling pin, cover with plastic wrap and chill the tart case for one hour. This will keep it from shrinking in the oven.
Press a layer of aluminium foil into the pastry case and fill with beans or weights.
Bake for 10 -15 minutes.
Remove from oven when outer edge of crust is light golden brown.
Remove beans and check bottom.
If bottom is still moist, return to oven (without beans) for five minutes until base is ready.

Ingredients for filling:
1) 3 large eggs
2) 56 g unsalted butter melted
3) 2/3 cup to 1 1/2 cups of light corn syrup – dark syrup, if you prefer
4) 1 tablespoon of brown sugar.
5) ¼ - 1/2 cup of Kahlua (the secret ingredient)
6) 1 teas vanilla extract
7) 170 g pecan pieces
8) ½ teas salt (optional)
9) 42 g pecan halves (enough to go around the edge.)

Preheat oven to 180C.
Beat eggs well in a large bowl.
Add brown sugar, corn syrup, salt, melted butter, kahlua and vanilla to eggs and mix well with a whisk
Sprinkle chopped pecans in the piecrust and slowly pour mixture over pecans.
Decorate with the pecan halves around the outside edge.
Bake on middle rack at 180C. After 15 minutes, the filling should begin to set. Lower the heat a little and bake for an additional 15 -20 minutes, or until a wooden skewer poked into the centre comes out clean. Don’t over bake. Remove from the oven and cool before serving.

Kahlua and Brown Sugar Syrup
Put some light corn syrup, Kahlua and brown sugar into a saucepan and reduce gently by half. (Vary the ingredients to taste.) Pour this over the whole pecan pie, or over each individual serving. Ice cream or cream on the side.



How is it they live for eons in such harmony -
the billions of stars -

when most men can barely go a minute
without declaring war in their mind against someone they know.

There are wars where no one marches with a flag,
though that does not keep casualties
from mounting.

Our hearts irrigate this earth.
We are fields before
each other.

How can we live in harmony?
First we need to

we are all madly in love
with the same

~ St. Thomas Aquinas ~
(Love Poems From God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West by Daniel Ladinsky)

Newsletter Archive and Recipe Index



Iraqi Footballer

The Glasgow Rangers foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come
over to Scotland. He's signed to a one-year contract and the kid joins the team for the pre-season.
Two weeks later Rangers are down 2-0 to Celtic with only 10 minutes left. The coach gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is
a sensation - scores 3 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for Rangers! The fans are thrilled, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media
are in love with the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day of Scottish Premier League football.
'Hello mum, guess what?' he says. 'I played for 10 minutes today, we were 2-0 down, but I scored 3 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media...
'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed,
raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.'
The young Iraqi is very upset.
'What can I say mum, I'm so sorry.'
'Sorry? You're sorry?' says his mum, 'It's your fault we moved to Glasgow in the first place!'
(thanks to Joe Creighton)