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Friday January 23rd, 2009

And Then the Fight Started . . .

   "Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hi folks,

The photo of the koala there was taken right outside the place I was staying in Wye River last week. Close enough to touch. I saw about six in total. These are the first koalas I have seen in the wild since I first came to Australia in 1979! It must have something to do with Obama getting in.

I certainly hope the Israeli-Palestinian War – well, not really a war, more like shooting fish in a barrel -  is truly over now, because I hate war politics. As soon as you take one side in these conflicts, you immediately incur the wrath of family, friends and neighbours on the other side.  Last week’s newsletter provoked another bunfight with more reader feedback – pro and con – then I could possibly include in my letters section.  So apologies if I have left out your comments. I assure you that I have read and thought about every letter sent to me and have contacted a few of you on a personal level, particularly MELOSHINS, even if I have omitted our lengthy correspondence here due to space restriction.

No one delights in making enemies but certain things are worth the good argument.  The necessary argument. Once again, quoting Jesuit Father Daniel Berrigan, ‘Know where you stand – and stand there.’ And once again, as in the Iraq War, the cream of Australia’s top entertainment personalities remained silent. What were all these good people waiting for before they are willing to speak out?  Perhaps their ambition is become successful enough at ‘entertaining’ that they can adopt an African child, or something like that? What about morally adopting a Palestinian child NOW!  

Transcript: Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

“ My fellow citizens,
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and co-operation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age.” (full transcript)

Pete Seeger "This Land is Your Land" - The Obama Inaugural Celebration Concert
Listen carefully to the fourth verse!
(thanks to Dai Woosnam)


Hi Joe,
RE: A Baby Tooth for a Baby Tooth Newsletter
I hope you have this well-written and very timely piece published in a wider forum.
Kind regards,  Julia Irwin

Dear Mr Joe Dolce,
Thanks for speaking the blunt truth on the blatant, opportunistic genocide against the Palestinians. Israelis justify murdering innocent civilians by calling their heavy-handed indiscriminate fire "defence tactics against hidden terrorists".
Why the Israelis aren't being shamed by a much louder world-wide voice of outrage by our own governments, leaves me puzzled and disgusted.
Can you please send a copy of "Shaddup You Face" (that just repeats the chorus over and over), to those bully-boy Israeli leaders...
"What's-a matter you, hey, gotta no respect
What-a you t'ink you do, why you look-a so sad
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place
Ah, shaddap you face!" Thank you. Elly M

Can i first say that even though you may not think it was your finest work 'shaddup a ya face' to this day brings me so many happy memories of my family and childhood. you created a special moment for me which has just been rekindled whilst just havin a few beers and  reminiscing with friends. I even remember my dad correcting me on the lyrics. anyway, all the best to you and yours we just managed to get our dog to bark at the right places in the song. we will continue to have good night.
thanks for the memory joe.  Kevin Sherratt

: Kevin, for help with the dog, see the letter below from Broderick Smith.)

You’re as poular today as you were a quarter of a century ago. Your music has endured with the current generation enjoying it. A true legend, i salute you Mr Joe Dolce! Lol,  Ejel

(Note: Ejel, thank you,  but surely you mean a ‘legend in my own lasagne time’.)

Hi Joe,
I enjoy your emails and generally agree with your view of the world. The reason I'm writing to you is about " Shaddup your Face." Firstly I don't find it annoying. I never did.  I find it rather sweet sounding actually because of the vocal, the family sentiment and the melody. But that's not why I'm writing either.
There is a fifties Warner Brothers cartoon about a dog trying to get a job in an Italian restaurant. He auditions as an entertainer and sings a song called, believe it or not, "Shaddup your Face". It's a little bit different from memory, but close enough that you should check it out. It's a loonie tune or a merry melody. Sorry I  can't be more specific than that. It would be at least fifty years old now but I kept thinking I should tell you about it.
Actually your song is better because the dog sings his a bit more aggressively. Broderick Smith

(Note: Folks, after a couple of emails back and forth with Broderick, we managed to find this song. It’s actually called, ‘Atsa Matta You,’  from the cartoon, "A Hound for Trouble," 1951. I’m certain I must have seen this as a kid, along with Chico Marx, Dean Martin and all the other elements that influenced me. It’s brilliant; albeit only one verse, but I wish I had known about this in the 80s as it would have made a great follow-up with a little rewriting. Here is the original cartoon if you want to see it. You have to go in to about 5:15.

Meanwhile, back to the Fight . . . . . .

Dear Joe Dolce,
RE: A Baby Tooth for a Baby Tooth
Imagine this.  You live in a neighborhood where there is a murderer who attacks your family and other innocent families indiscriminately.  Everyone knows who he is but nobody will stop him  because he hides among  families who put their own children risk by hiding the criminal.  He doesn't identify himself to peaceful authorities but hides among sympathizing neighbors and continues to terrorize you and your otherwise peaceful community.  When you tell the people who are hiding him that they must stop him from doing this, they respond by blaming you for incurring the criminal's wrath.  Just like you are in your article and just like a rapist blames his victim for his crimes.  So when the victim has finally had enough, and attacks the neighborhood that is protecting the terrorist, and innocent people are killed, no one wants to place the blame on the people hiding the terrorist among the innocent people.   While the injury to innocent people is horrific, the blame does not lay with the retaliating victim, the blame lies with a government that either condones the terror or is ineffective at stopping it.  MAKE HAMAS ACCOUNTABLE BEFORE ISRAEL HAS TO DEFEND HERSELF!!!!!!!!  Richard Silver

: Before Israel has to defend herself? Richard, have you seen footage of those Hamas rocket attacks? They go up, wobble around, change direction several times and then usually hit nothing. They remind me of the dodgy fireworks we used to get as kids. Certainly the Israelis can find a more precise, civilized and humanitarian way to get these criminals without killing all those Palestinian kids.  Just go in and get the fuckers one-on-one like they grabbed Eichmann in Argentina. Come on.)

Thanks for all your wonderful newsletters, tasty recipes and intriguing websites.  Did you know that there is now an "Engineers Without Borders".  It was started last year by a backpacking engineering student who was in Asia when a natural disaster occurred and know how was very thin to nonexistent. It aims at getting sponsorship from large companies for engineering students to work overseas with professionals on humanitarian projects. Sorry don't have website url.
Regards from Adrienne

: Here it is: )

Dear Joe,
When you’re right you’re right! Any day now the Israelis are going to restrict the Palestinians right to work, force them to carry and produce identity papers, force them to live in ghettos .....oh shit!  they're already doing that.... What's next ? Tattoo identity numbers on their arms,    Peace always (please)   Alex Smith

Hi Joe,
I agree that the Israeli reaction is incommensurate with whatever Hamas has been able to do to Israel.   If Israel wants the world to be fair to them, they should know their limit!  Otherwise, they are just as bad as their enemies, if not worse!
NNB (Virginia, USA)

Thanks, Joe,
For speaking out. A land grab by any other name is nonetheless. . . . I've heard apologists for the militaristic state that Israel has become speak of the relative 'youth' of this Mideast democracy as an excuse for its aggression. I would say to them that my country, the US, had been around as at least a quasi democracy for 100 years when it stole The Black Hills from the Sioux. And at nearly 240 years we made a desperate grab for Iraqi oil. Don't necessarily think that you'll improve with age.
At the same time, a big salute to the Israelis who've crossed the border to serve in Gaza hospitals and in other humanitarian efforts during the bloodletting, defying both the Israeli government and the hawkish majority. Those are real heroes.  John Davis

Joe -
RE: Why the Land Really Belongs to Israel According to Netanyahu
After reading Netanyahu's list, I kept looking for the point by point rebuttal [by you]. Nada. I just returned from two weeks in the region on business, and although I'm not even a scholar of the regional history even **I** know that some of the points are complete bullshit. And they're easy to refute, so why the one-sided portrayal? For example, the ones about Islam's relationship with Jerusalem (no mention; backsides aimed at the city) show either an astonishing ignorance about the early history of Islam and their prophet or, more likely given the source, an intentional disregard for it. That is, it's a list of pure propaganda. It does make the point about the "territorial nature," true, but it will lead to readers passing along the list as if it were all true, and as if you have endorsed it. Apart from that one item, which in my view is an uncharacteristic oversight on your part, enjoyed the newsletter, as I always do.
Best wishes on the New Year, Patrick Noonan

To Joe Dolce,
Your support of the Hamas terrorists is too much, Jo.  Sorry, your argument is a non-sequitur.  Your house, as you put it, contains people who VOTED for Hamas, and continue to support their jihad against Israel.  Once the so-called Moderate Muslim Majority starts to stand up against the fascist fundamentalists, THEN they can be outraged at their houses being bombed.  Did you know that Israel have a database of all Palestinian mobile phones in Gaza, and text them with the location of each bombardment in advance to give them warning to get to a shelter?  In return, Hamas texts Israelis with threats that they will be indiscriminately targeted by rockets.  This news doesn’t get reported, because it paints Israel in a good light. Here is a letter I received from a friend in Israel last night whose grandma was in the nursing home hit by a Hamas/Hezbollah rocket from Lebanon yesterday:

‘ Israel is not to blame in its war with Hamas. The real problem is the persistent Palestinian tilt toward martyrdom instead of nation-building.
It's time the Palestinians began to face their responsibility for their own fate. Sacrificing their children either as martyrs through suicide bombings
or as targets behind which Hamas hides its arsenals of explosives in population centres is the perfect recipe for destroying another generation
of Palestinian children. It's time they smartened up and started loving their children more than they hate Israel.’
Fairly philosophical for someone who nearly lost a family member yesterday.  He does not hate the Palestinians the way they seem to hate the Jews (all Jews, not just Israelis, since they have been brainwashed by the fundamentalists to hate them for religious reasons, not political), and wishes for peace in the region more than anything else.  Nobody wants to live under the threat of being bombed any moment, with 15 seconds warning of a rocket attack.
 Remember that Hamas are deliberately firing rockets from the rooftops of schools, hospitals and even the grounds of UN buildings, in an attempt to draw Israeli fire onto civilians – each Palestinian civilian death is a victory for Hamas, and a tragedy for Israel and the world.  They don’t even respect ceasefires, so how can anyone negotiate a peaceful resolution with them?  The UN in Gaza are falling for this deception, and unwittingly assisting Hamas with their televised outrage over the Israeli offensive.
 Please try to get all of your facts straight before condemning an entire nation for defending themselves from terrorism.
 Regards, James Feldman.

(Note:  I thought non-secateurs were people who didn’t use gardening tools? I don’t support Hamas terrorists. I support innocent and ordinary families, like yours and mine, who are murdered in horrific war-crime numbers by the military FOR WHATEVER REASONS!  And I certainly hope someone in Israel will be held accountable for these atrocities down the track-  if there is justice in this world.  Folks,  Mr Feldman requested to be removed from my newsletter -  but not before taking the above one last parting shot at me. But everything he mentions here has already been refuted by others more qualified than I.  It’s well and fine to text-message an advance warning to someone that their neighbourhood is about to be bombed - if they can go somewhere else safe. But no one can get out of the Gaza due to the Israel blockade so where you gonna go?  And if  ‘each Palestinian civilian death is a victory for Hamas, and a tragedy for Israel,’ as Feldman paradoxically puts it,  then Israel is actively participating big-time in Hamas victories and their own sad tragedy.  Good one!  The instance of the ‘letter’ from his friend, while sincere, merely parrots Golda Meir’s well-known statement: ‘ We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their children. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.”  You forced me to kill your children.  A variation of  ‘god made me do it.’ If this is an example of a spiritually enlightened Head of State, friends, we are in serious trouble. Accusing an entire culture of not loving their children as much as we do is as insane and xenophobic as accusing Asians of not valuing life as much as  Caucasians, because there are so many of them [as was the standard xenophobic argument during the Japanese and Vietnam Wars.)  It’s called: de-humanizing and demonizing the enemy. It’s much easier to kill them if they aren’t quite as human as ‘we’ are. As a jew, you should feel shame at using this kind of propaganda on someone else when it has been used on the jewish people for centuries. The abused becomes the abuser and the cycle perpetuates.])

Statement by Prof. Richard Falk
United Nations Special Rapporteur for Human Rights in the Occupied Territories
By Richard Falk

The Israeli airstrikes on the Gaza Strip represent severe and massive violations of international humanitarian law as defined in the Geneva Conventions, both in regard to the obligations of an Occupying Power and in the requirements of the laws of war. Those violations include:

1. Collective punishment - the entire 1.5 million people who live in the crowded Gaza Strip are being punished for the actions of a few militants.
2. Targeting civilians - the airstrikes were aimed at civilian areas in one of the most crowded stretches of land in the world, certainly the most densely populated area of the Middle East.
3. Disproportionate military response - the airstrikes have not only destroyed every police and security office of Gaza's elected government, but have killed and injured hundreds of civilians; at least one strike reportedly hit groups of students attempting to find transportation home from the university.

An Unnecessary War
by: President Jimmy Carter
I know from personal involvement that the devastating invasion of Gaza by Israel could easily have been avoided.
After visiting Sderot last April and seeing the serious psychological damage caused by the rockets that had fallen in that area, my wife, Rosalynn, and I declared their launching from Gaza to be inexcusable and an act of terrorism. Although casualties were rare (three deaths in seven years), the town was traumatized by the unpredictable explosions. About 3,000 residents had moved to other communities, and the streets, playgrounds and shopping centers were almost empty. Mayor Eli Moyal assembled a group of citizens in his office to meet us and complained that the government of Israel was not stopping the rockets, either through diplomacy or military action.
Knowing that we would soon be seeing Hamas leaders from Gaza and also in Damascus, we promised to assess prospects for a cease-fire. From Egyptian intelligence chief Omar Suleiman, who was negotiating between the Israelis and Hamas, we learned that there was a fundamental difference between the two sides. Hamas wanted a comprehensive cease-fire in both the West Bank and Gaza, and the Israelis refused to discuss anything other than Gaza.
We knew that the 1.5 million inhabitants of Gaza were being starved, as the U.N. special rapporteur on the right to food had found that acute malnutrition in Gaza was on the same scale as in the poorest nations in the southern Sahara, with more than half of all Palestinian families eating only one meal a day.

US Weaponry Facilitates Killings in Gaza

by Thalif Deen
UNITED NATIONS - The devastating Israeli firepower, unleashed largely on Palestinian civilians in Gaza during two weeks of fighting, is the product of advanced U.S. military technology.
The U.S. weapons systems used by the Israelis -- including F-16 fighter planes, Apache helicopters, tactical missiles and a wide array of munitions -- have been provided by Washington mostly as outright military grants.
The administration of President George W. Bush alone has provided over 21 billion dollars in U.S. security assistance over the last eight years, including 19 billion dollars in direct military aid as freebies.
"Israel's intervention in the Gaza Strip has been fueled largely by U.S. supplied weapons paid for with U.S. tax dollars," says a background briefing released Thursday by the Arms and Security Initiative of the New York-based New America Foundation.

Who's Arming Israel?
Frida Berrigan and William D. Hartung
Much has been made in the U.S. media of the Syrian- and Iranian-origin weaponry used by Hezbollah in the escalating violence in Israel and Lebanon. There has been no parallel discussion of the origin of Israel's weaponry, the vast bulk of which is from the United States. (charts and graphs to illustrate).

Theocracy is a form of government in which a god or deity is recognized as the state's supreme civil ruler, or in a broader sense, a form of government in which a state is governed by immediate divine guidance or by officials who are regarded as divinely guided. The word theocracy originates from the Greek θεοκρατία, meaning "the rule of God". For believers, theocracy is a form of government in which divine power governs an earthly human state, either in a personal incarnation or, more often, via religious institutional representatives (i.e., a church), replacing or dominating civil government. Theocratic governments enact theonomic laws.
Theocracy should be distinguished from other secular forms of government that have a state religion, or are merely influenced by theological or moral concepts, and monarchies held "By the Grace of God".
A theocracy may be monist in form, where the administrative hierarchy of the government is identical with the administrative hierarchy of the religion, or it may have two 'arms,' but with the state administrative hierarchy subordinate to the religious hierarchy.
Current states with vestigial theocratic aspects:
1. Andorra
2. Islamic Republic of Iran
3. Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
4. United Kingdom
5. Norway
6. Israel
(Note: Ancient Israel was different in as much as the King and the priesthood were separate and limited to their respective spheres of authority and responsibility.)

Favourite Fucking Idiot Internet Posting of the Week

How do I rewind a DVD?
DVD? What should I do? There is no rewind button on my DVD player.

(Note: Answer: As my grandaughter Misty says, ‘Eh duh!’)

What I’m Reading This Week
by Val McDermid.

What I’m Watching This Week
adapted from the Val McDermid novels.

What I’m Listening to This Week
by Wagner.

Cheney in Wheelchair for Inauguration
US Vice President Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back while moving boxes and will be in a wheelchair for Tuesday's inauguration ceremony.
White House press secretary Dana Perino said Cheney was helping to move into his new home outside Washington in McLean, Virginia, when he injured his back.
His doctor recommended that he needed a wheelchair for the next couple of days, Perino said, adding that Cheney was okay otherwise.

(Note: Lifting all those boxes of bullshit, Lies & Deception and bad karma, with out bending your knees, will throw anybody’s back out.)

"Many scientists were stunned recently when it was revealed that air bubbles trapped in fossilized amber had been analyzed and found to contain oxygen levels of 38%. Yet today it is well known that the average oxygen content of air is only 19% to 21%. In other words, since the early history of the earth, it appears there has been a whopping 50% drop in the average oxygen content of air we breathe!"

Back to What Obama Must Do
by Paul Krugman, Nobel Prize winning economist.

Here is my plea: Let's not leave Barack Obama alone to clean up the mess. As he takes his oath today, please take one yourself -- to work harder than ever to end these wars, create universal health care, save our planet, end poverty, increase knowledge and establish a true government "of, by and for the people" (instead of "of, by and for the lobbyists, the bankers, and the war profiteers"). Michael Moore

A Letter to the new president.

Dear Mr. President:
Like FDR three-quarters of a century ago, you're taking charge at a moment when all the old certainties have vanished, all the conventional wisdom been proved wrong. We're not living in a world you or anyone else expected to see. Many presidents have to deal with crises, but very few have been forced to deal from Day One with a crisis on the scale America now faces.
So, what should you do?
In this letter I won't try to offer advice about everything. For the most part I'll stick to economics, or matters that bear on economics. I'll also focus on things I think you can or should achieve in your first year in office. The extent to which your administration succeeds or fails will depend, to a large extent, on what happens in the first year - and above all, on whether you manage to get a grip on the current economic crisis. (full letter)

Bee-Boy Dance Crew Drops Dead
It is a fact of nature: When a honey bee returns to the hive after finding a good source of nectar, it will perform a unique dance for its hive mates, detailing the distance, quality and quantity of the new food supply.
Sadly, honey bees are mysteriously vanishing in staggering numbers - a crisis known as Colony Collapse disorder - which is alarming considering honey bees are responsible for pollinating one-third of our natural food supply.
(thanks to Wyldflower)

And Then the Fight Started . . .

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started . . .

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make
her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started . . .

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her
not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.

And then the fight started . . .

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So, half asleep, the man jumped out of the bed;
Scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground,
ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman,
'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started . . .

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned
on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
Half-asleep, my loving wife of 10 years replied,
'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started . . .

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And then the fight started . . .

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started . . .

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150
in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started . . .

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started . . .
(thanks to Ian Thompson)


(satellite television)

Dolce is a DTH platform of Romtelecom, a Romanian telephony and Internet provider.
As of 2008, Dolce has more than 500,000 customers.

An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West
African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the
black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his
penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight
stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his
wife looked at him and said, "How about trying the African
string-and-weight procedure?”

The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal
experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.

"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"

"No, it's turned black."
(thanks to Andrew Bicknell)


Feather Light Matzo Balls
(goldene yoich with knaidlach)

Here's an even better recipe for matzo balls I discovered last month.

2 cups coarse matzo meal
2 cups boiling water
2 tble chicken fat (smaltz), melted (Secret No. 1)
2 eggs
2 tble chopped parsley
1 tsp salt
1/2 teas pepper

Place matzo meal in bowl with salt and pepper.
Separately combine the lightly beaten eggs, melted chicken fat, and parsley.
Pour boiling water over matzo meal stirring until combined and then add the remaining ingredients mixing well.
Refrigerate for one hour. (Secret No. 2)
Wet hands and roll into balls then gently drop into salted boiling water.
Keep covered for 20 minute simmering, turn off and keep covered for a further 10 minutes.
Add to individual soup bowls just before serving.

For the Chicken Soup, see the Recipe Archive:


First Death In Nova Scotia
     In the cold, cold parlor
my mother laid out Arthur
beneath the chromographs:
Edward, Prince of Wales,
with Princess Alexandra,
and King George with Queen Mary.
Below them on the table
stood a stuffed loon
shot and stuffed by Uncle
Arthur, Arthur's father.

Since Uncle Arthur fired
a bullet into him,
he hadn't said a word.
He kept his own counsel
on his white, frozen lake,
the marble-topped table.
His breast was deep and white,
cold and caressable;
his eyes were red glass,
much to be desired.

"Come," said my mother,
"Come and say good-bye
to your little cousin Arthur."
I was lifted up and given
one lily of the valley
to put in Arthur's hand.
Arthur's coffin was
a little frosted cake,
and the red-eyed loon eyed it
from his white, frozen lake.

Arthur was very small.
He was all white, like a doll
that hadn't been painted yet.
Jack Frost had started to paint him
the way he always painted
the Maple Leaf (Forever).
He had just begun on his hair,
a few red strokes, and then
Jack Frost had dropped the brush
and left him white, forever.

The gracious royal couples
were warm in red and ermine;
their feet were well wrapped up
in the ladies' ermine trains.
They invited Arthur to be
the smallest page at court.
But how could Arthur go,
clutching his tiny lily,
with his eyes shut up so tight
and the roads deep in snow?

~ Elizabeth Bishop ~

Newsletter Archive  and  Recipe Index


Can  you guess which of the following are true and which are  false?
 (Answers are below)

  1.  Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking  you up in the
  2.  Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
  3.  A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10  years.
  4.  People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a
  lot more.
  5.  When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
  6.  Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
  7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every  minute.
  8.  Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are
       2-6 years  old.
  9. The average  person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
  10.  The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
  11.  The average housefly lives for one month.
  12.  40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
  13. An average coat hanger is 44 inches long  when straightened.
  14.  The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
  15.  Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
  16.  Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
  17.  The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search
  for water.
  18.  The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning
  their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
  19.  John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a
        Gentleman"  and "Tootsie."
  20. Michael  Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem.
  21.  In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white
        paint  and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
  22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane,
        just in case  there is a crash.
  23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can
        for a carburettor.
  24.  Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from
         women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
  25.  Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th
  26.  If colouring wasn't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.
  Now,  scroll down for the answers.........................
  They are  all TRUE... Now go back and think about #16!!!
(thanks to Jim Testa)