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July 23rd, 2004

Ode to a Schmuck in Palau


"The chief thing is to have a soul that loves the truth and harbours it where it finds it. And another thing: the truth requires constant repetition because error is being preached about us all the time and not only by isolated individuals but by the masses. In newspapers and encyclopaedias, in schools, universities: everywhere error rides high and basks in the consciousness of having the majority on its side."
Goethe 1828


Dear Folks,

I trust you enjoyed the 'Shakespearean Insult Kit' I supplied last week and are putting it to good use. Here's another fine quote from Killeth Bill:

"Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself." William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

- to introduce:

Depleted Uranium: The Trojan Horse of Nuclear War
by Leuren Moret

The use of depleted uranium weaponry by the United States, defying all international treaties, will slowly annihilate all species on earth including the human species, and yet (it) continues to do so with full knowledge of its destructive potential. (article)

The Big 6

Australia is one of the SIX nations that voted AGAINST dismantling of the Israeli Wall in the West Bank. Israel, Australia, the US, and those three repositories of independent thinking and free will: the Marshall Islands, Micronesia and Palau. 150 nations voted for tearing it down. 150! I'm sure Australia's decision had nothing whatsoever to do with US influence. I think it will soon come out that it was the nation of Palau that was exerting undue pressure on Australia to tow the line here. After three decades as part of the UN Trust Territory of the Pacific under US administration, Palau, a westernmost cluster of the Caroline Islands, opted for independence in 1978 rather than join the Federated States of Micronesia. A Compact of Free Association with the US was approved in 1986, but not ratified until 1993. It entered into force the following year, when the islands gained independence. Slightly more than 2.5 times the size of Washington, DC, with a population of 20,000, the economy consists primarily of tourism, subsistence agriculture and fishing. The government is the major employer of the work force, relying heavily on financial assistance from the US. (It also apparently is the largest importer of kangaroo scrotum coin purses in the world. But don't quote me on that.)

This week's Comic Interludes are actual TRUE FACTS that you may not have known. Like the following.

George W. Bush and John Kerry are 16th cousins, three times removed.

Favourite Reader Comments of the Week

Dear Joe,
Please let anyone who loves the 'My God Loves Your God' bumper sticker know that they can get one from:
mygodlovesyourgod.com.  Really enjoying your CD, ABL.

Dear Joe,
I'm not sure who put me on your mailing list, but you seem to me my most consistent friend at the moment anyway. What I really wanted to say was that I saw your film clip for the first time in my life a couple of days ago. It was quite touching... I remember when it first came out when I was about five and it just stuck in my head (the chorus. by the way have you heard 'this is the chorus' by 'morris minor and the majors'?. They're the one's who made 'stutter rap') Anyway, I'm in Sweden, 20-something years later and decide to put the tell-lie on while the food's cooking and there you are! And there I was all excited, trying to explain to my girlfriend that I remember this song from when I was a child and that I'm currently receiving left-wing (I think) political e-mails from that guy.
Ciao, Richie

(Note: Thanks Richie. I've never had anyone call the videoclip to Shaddap You Face 'touching' before. I'm touched. (By the way, have you heard Rolf Harris's version of Chrissie Amphlett's 'I Touch Myself' - with wobble board accompaniment? My humble version of 'Thriller' is also in this collection. It's available here: 2MMM Musical Challenge

The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam.



Important Notice!
From the Red Cross Blood Service
A few weeks ago in a movie theatre in Melbourne a person sat on something that was poking out of one of the seats. When she got up to see what it was she found a needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying: " You have just been infected by HIV". The Disease Control Centre in Melbourne reports many similar incidents have occurred in many other Australian cities recently. All tested needles are HIV Positive.
The Centre also reports that needles have been found in the cash dispensers in ATMs. We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. 17 people have been tested positive in the Western suburbs alone in the last 2 months!!! A careful visual inspection should be enough.
In addition they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger. We all have to be careful at public places! This is very important. Just think about saving a life of someone even you don't know by forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass it along.

Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.

~ music ~

Nature Boy - eden ahbez


If anyone has seen the Baz Luhrmann musical, 'Moulin Rouge,' then you will recall the haunting opening ballad sung by Ewan McGregor, 'Nature Boy.' This classic song was first recorded by Nat King Cole, and became a huge number one hit in 1948, and later covered by Frank Sinatra and dozens of others. But little known is that the writer, eden ahbez, born in 1908, belonged to a group, known as the 'nature boys,' prototypes to the hippie movement, and the first generation of Americans to adopt the 'naturmensch' philosophy, living in the mountains and canyons around Palm Springs, and sleeping in caves and trees, sometimes as many as fifteen at a time.

After the song became successful, ahbez became disatisfied with the original lyric and wrote a revision - that was never used. Instead of "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be loved in return," he said: "To be loved in return, is too much of a deal - and that has nothing to do with love."
He said it should read:
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved, just to love and be loved."

Here are a couple of sites with more information about eden ahbez:
Site 1
Site 2

There is also a fabulous book titled: "Children of the Sun - A Pictorial Anthology from Germany to California 1883-1949", published by Nirvana Press, California, 1998, that features a chapter about ahbez, Arnold Ehret, Fidus, Gypsy Boots, and a cast of other extraordinary characters, and is loaded with nude photographs of long-haired beautiful people cavorting, for those of you who like that sort of thing. (thanks to Alicia Bay Laurel)

(And speaking of Ewan McGregor . . .)

Cheap Irish Gossip Section

Colin Farrell Told His Penis is Smaller than McGregor's
Ireland Online

Colin Farrell is stunned at the amount of attention his penis has received in his upcoming movie 'A Home at the End of the World' - because he's been told it's much smaller than Ewan McGregor's.

(Which I suppose is a good point to mention my:)

Favourite Porn Spam Subject Heading of the Week

Subject: Turn Your Peanut into a Zucchini

(No doubt sponsored by the George Washington Carver Peanut Growers Association, (past presidents include Joh Bjelke Peterson and Jimmy Carter.)

(And speaking of penii and peanii . . .)

The Art of Schmuck

Originally, schmuck meant decoration or ornament in German. In Yiddish (a language related to German, spoken primarily by European Jews), schmuck means penis, and you can still use it this way, though it's less usual than the first meaning.
(Some folks call the bit that's removed in a circumcision, the 'schmuck', but I can't find any historical basis for that one.) Apparently at one time, a man's schmuck was considered decorative. This is similar to the slang expression' family jewels (testicles.)' The juvenile insult "dork" is from a slang term for the penis, as is the Yiddish-derived term "putz."

schmuck - 1892, from E.Yiddish shmok, (lit. "penis") from Old Pol. smok "grass snake, dragon."
schmooze - 1897, from Yiddish shmuesn "to chat," from shmues "idle talk, chat," from Heb. shemu'oth "news, rumors." Schmooozer is from 1909.


A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.

Regime change in Iran now in Bush's sights
By Jenifer Johnston

 PRESIDENT George Bush has promised that if re-elected in November he will make regime change in Iran his new target.

Bush named Iran as part of the Axis of Evil along with North Korea and Iraq almost three years ago. A US government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that military action would not be overt in changing Iran, but rather that the US would work to stir revolts in the country and hope to topple the current conservative religious leadership. (article)

(Note: Was anyone paying attention to this famous statement by Dubya's father during the first Gulf War? (We KNOW the addle-brained son and his Ministers of Mumbly-Peg weren't.)

"Trying to eliminate Saddam...would have incurred incalculable human and political costs.  Apprehending him was probably impossible....we would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq.... there was no viable "exit strategy" we could see, violating another of our principles. Furthermore, we had been consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the  post-Cold War world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations' mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land." from, "A World Transformed," the memoirs of George H. W. Bush, Senior

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

Jesus and Jihad
By Nicholas D. Kristoff
New York Times

If the latest in the "Left Behind" series of evangelical thrillers is to be believed, Jesus will return to Earth, gather non-Christians to his left and toss them into everlasting fire:

    "Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and a yawning chasm opened in the earth, stretching far and wide enough to swallow all of them. They tumbled in, howling and screeching, but their wailing was soon quashed and all was silent when the earth closed itself again."

These are the best-selling novels for adults in the United States, and they have sold more than 60 million copies worldwide. The latest is "Glorious Appearing," which has Jesus returning to Earth to wipe all non-Christians from the planet. It's disconcerting to find ethnic cleansing celebrated as the height of piety. (article)

According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.

Terror in the Skies, Again?
By Annie Jacobsen

Note from the Editors of WomensWallStreet: You are about to read an account of what happened during a domestic flight that one of our writers, Annie Jacobsen, took from Detroit to Los Angeles. The WWS Editorial Team debated long and hard about how to handle this information and ultimately we decided it was something that should be shared. What does it have to do with finances? Nothing, and everything. Here is Annie's story. 

"On June 29, 2004, at 12:28 p.m., I flew on Northwest Airlines flight #327 from Detroit to Los Angeles with my husband and our young son.  Also on our flight were 14 Middle Eastern men between the ages of approximately 20 and 50 years old.  What I experienced during that flight has caused me to question whether the United States of America can realistically uphold the civil liberties of every individual, even non-citizens, and protect its citizens from terrorist threats." (article)
(thanks to John Jacobs)

Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.

FOR CHESS LOVERS - Bobby Fischer

The hunt for Bobby Fischer, the unpredictable chess legend, ended this week when he was detained in Japan, where he awaits possible deportation on charges that he attended a 1992 match in Yugoslavia in violation of a U.S. ban.


Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.

Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter".

The entire town of Capena, Italy (including children as young as 2 years old) lights up cigarettes each year in honor of St. Anthony's Day. This tradition is centuries old.

Microsoft threatened 17 year old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website named MikeRoweSoft.com.

Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) - have registered for the list themselves!

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.


Zarda Palau
(Sweet Rice with Orange and Chicken - Afghan recipe.)

1 tbs salt
2 cups washed long grain rice
2 oranges
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup oil/ghee
1/2 cup blanched almond slivers
1 kg (2.2 lb) chicken breasts
salt, pepper, allspice
1 medium onion
1/2 cup pistachios, chopped

Put 8 cups water and 1 tbs salt on to boil. Add 2 cups washed long grain rice and boil 10 mins then drain and rinse. Cut rind of 2 oranges into thin strips and boil in 1 cup water for 5 mins. Drain and discard water. Dissolve 1 cup sugar in 2 cups hot water. Add to rind and boil until slightly thick (5 mins). Place rice in large bowl, and pour hot syrup (reserving peel) over rice and toss through. In 1 tbs oil, fry half cup blanched almond slivers until golden. Remove and save almonds. If needed, add a little more oil/ghee, brown chicken breasts (cut into 3 inch chunks) on all sides. Remove chicken, season and save. Add another tbs oil and fry 1 medium sliced onion until soft, then add 1 cup water to lift pan juices. Add 1 tsp allspice and then replace chicken. Simmer 20 mins. In large well-oiled casserole dish, in layers, place half the rice, the chicken pieces, a layer of half the almonds and the reserved rind slivers. Spread the remaining rice over the top and pour the liquid and onions from the chicken evenly over the top, cover, bake in medium oven for 30 mins.

To serve: Sprinkle with almonds and pistachios.


"Some white people Hate black people,
and some white people Love black people,
Some black people Hate white people,
and some black people Love white people.
So you see it's not an issue of black and white . . .
it's an issue of Lovers and Haters."
eden ahbez 1992

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