JOE DOLCE NEWSLETTER
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Friday July 3rd, 2009
Fishbowl
"The life of every man is a diary in which
he means to write one story, and writes another;
and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is
with what he vowed to make it." James Barrie, writer of Peter Pan
Hi folks,
So much controversy over Michael Jackson once again. Hard to know what to believe.
The headlines now insist: “ Jackson's body 'bald, full of needle marks'- the singer was a virtual skeleton and only had pills in his stomach when he died.” Lovely.
Sounds like Howard Hughes final days, with Chinese fingernails and pissing in jars. A bald Peter Pan? Funny, I don’t remember this part of the book – with Wendy, Tinkerbell and The Lost Boys. What’s going on here? Who’s messing with my fairy tale?
Although I wasn’t a big fan of Jackson’s music, our paths crosses briefly when I was asked to record a version of ‘Thriller’ for Andrew Denton's 2MMM MUSICAL CHALLENGE CD (along with artists including NEIL FINN, JIMMY BARNES, TINA ARENA, ARCHIE ROACH, JAMES BLUNDELL, all proceeds directed to Mission Australia's youth program.) It came out pretty cool and became a regular part of my repertoire. Fate is funny like that....
I think just about everybody I know loved little enthusiastic Michael, just as we loved the young Elvis, the stringbean version of Frank Sinatra, the angry boy Bob Dylan, even little Shirley Temple – before jumpsuits, gangsters, nihilism, right wing politics and facial reconstructions. Many people forgive the later excesses and degenerations – or choose to overlook them – in favour of an idealized memory of their innocent and vulnerable time.
So let’s have a moment of silence for the memory of little Michael Jackson. For the irrepressible creative child in all of us.
Let’s remember him like we like remember young Elvis, young Frank, young Bob and little Shirley. As beautiful youth. Narcissus. . . .
The Pop culture of every age is like a big fish bowl that crystalizes in the middle of the much larger culture. Like that monolith in 2001. Some artists are more in the fishbowl than others. Some just have a little toe in there. Some spend their whole lives under a plastic bridge. They can’t get out. Some are in it for a while and then jump out, like the fish in Nemo.
Meanwhile, the popcorn-munching crowd gathers around to watch what is happening in the bowl. Laughing and crying with their favourite guppies, whom they all know by name. But the further we are away from the glass, the harder it is to see what the fuss is all about. The people way in the back get bored, start talking and smart-alecking. Or listening to JS Bach on their iPods. Headphones on, they get drunk and sing along at the top of their lungs in German mitt Wagner’s Rhinemaidens.
‘Shaddap! We’re trying to watch the fish!’ yell the people in the front.
The fish in the bowl eat their fish food.
They swim around in circles.
Sooner or later, they get sick and die.
Fish are meant to live in rivers and oceans.
Michael couldn’t jump out of the bowl.
It’s sad.
It’s not Nemo.
It’s really not a kid’s film at all.
FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK
Joe,
Re: Congratulations on Anniversary
certainly something to be proud of
29 years
and still have a sense of joy
love to lin, Andre Steyl
Joe,
You MUST watch the most recent season - [24] Season 7!
The previous season had bad reviews, and probably justly so, but they REALLY rebounded
with season 7 - please check it out....
by the way, i shot an album cover of an old pal of yours - colin hay,
for his upcoming solo release - i have one or two shots on my
website. anyway, thought you might find this amusing! beth herzhaft
http://www.herzco.com
Hi Josephus!
Thanks from all the CLOWNDOCTORS in Australia for mentioning their funding crisis in your Newsletter!!
Re: The meaning of 'why no you squeeze a" CHATROO" '
My Napoletano Vocabolario lists "cetrulo" as a dialect version of the word for- you guessed it- CUCUMBER ( in Italian its cetriolo). It also gives the double meaning of "silly or flavourless" (sciocco, insipido).
I guess its a traditional Italian guaranteed laugh oppportunity to refer to, or call someone a fruit resembling an oversize male appendage yet a useless one without spiciness or savour - as in "Hey Cetrull' you dont'a have to go to school - to make it with a big bambino -its like vino..." ( lyrics from " Mambo Italiano").
ps While we're deciphering italian dialect words in popular western songs- its always mystified me why in "Mambo Italiano" Rosemary Clooney sings 'Try an "Enchilada" with a Fisha Baccala'.I know she must have had a good dialect coach because the rest of her dialect patter sounds authentic...hmm...Then I recently discovered you can substitute "Try una gelata with a Fisha Baccala".Its still wacky, but sits in the framework of popular italian much better.
Pps I downloaded some sheet music of "Josephina please no leana on the Bell". much longer and slightly different from the version you quoted. I will try and send it to you!
Long a Live-a the Italiana Englisha!!! Its-a bewdifull-a thing-a!! antonio mazzella
Hi Joe,
After some time, I thought I'd write and tell you how much I appreciate your email each week. I have no idea how I got on the list (possibly through a certain lanky violin player?), and at first, I simply deleted as spam without reading.
For the past year, however, I've loved your insights, musings and friendly chatter. The world would be a better place if more people such as you spread their unique style of love and cheer. Imagine what a place the world could be! So thank you for what you do, and for taking the time to do it. Love your work. BB, Helen
List of the Worst Poetry Contests
(The worst contests, not necessarily the worst poetry)
I got sucked into one of these so I thought I might give others a heads up.
Beware and be aware if you encounter poetry contests sponsored by any of the following organizations.
http://windpub.com/literary.scams/endall.htm
Betty Lou's Site for Guitar Underdogs
Words and chords to your favourite songs
http://bettylou.zzruss.com/
What I’m Reading This Week
THE UNSWEPT ROOM, poems by Sharon Olds.
AFTER THE MERRYMAKING, poems by Roger McGough. Here's one of Roger's that I think is simple but very imaginative. It should be read across the spine of the book as so:
What I’m Watching This Week
EDEN LAKE – directed by James Watkins. Starring Kelly Reilley. Synopsis: Jenny and Steve escape for a romantic weekend away - a remote lake enclosed by woodlands and seemingly deserted. The couple's peace is shattered when a gang of obnoxious kids encircles their campsite. Reveling in provoking the adults, the gang steals the couple's belongings and vandalizes their car leaving them completely stranded. When Steve confronts them, tempers flare and he suffers a shocking and violent attack. Fleeing for help, Jenny is subject to a brutal and relentless game of cat-and-mouse as she desperately tries to evade her young pursuers and find her way out of the woods.
Both this film and the following film star Kelly Reilley, who is Guy Ritchie’s new girlfriend. I like her acting - but these two films could not be more different in content and emotional and moral impact. The film is well-made with great cinematography and acting. Eden Lake is a certain kind of genre horror film. Personally, these kind of films feel like poison to the soul to me. The person that you need to survive and triumph over the moronic bad guys always ends up losing due to a series of ignorant and stupid decisions that a normal person would never make. You know – like going-down-into-the-dark-basement-with-a-flashlight-in-your-underwear-with-no-weapon-and-saying-is-anyone-there kind of stupidity. I always find myself yelling at the screen: ‘You idiot! Don’t do that! How could you be so stupid! That’s not realistic! No way I’d do that! Come on! ’ Etc etc. The heroes are stupider than the stupid guys. Losers beings outsmarted by even bigger losers. I call them ‘evil win’ films or let’s be a victim tonight – pass the popcorn films. If you like feeling like a powerless victim, you’ll like this film. The only other alternative is you can choose to feel like the victimizer – in which case, you should seek psychiatric help. Other films in this style are The Omen, The Wickerman, Funny Games, Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Wolf Creek, Skeleton Key, The Vanishing (not the US version. In the original Dutch version, the good guy stays buried!) and to some extent, the Hannibal Lecter films (although Lecter is so endearing you want him to get away with it all.)
I consider the writers of these kind of films to be similar to conmen - or else they simply love to traumatize audiences for no good purpose except perhaps to make money. Boo!-power trippers. I’ll explain why. In any story about moronic troglodyte murderers – let’s use the true story of the pig farm murders of Robert Pickton who lured up to 50 prostitutes to his farm and dismembered and buried them about the property until he was caught – of course, you can tell the story from the point of view of one of the victims – how she is lured to the farm, surprised by the killer, tortured, escapes, is recaptured, and killed. End of story. Or you could tell the story from the point of view of the detectives who solve the crime, arrest the killer bring him to justice. In the course of the later scenario, you can also show the points of view of several of the victims – and make is as gory as you like - but you don’t leave the audience feeling like a fucking helpless victim when the film is over. I like to see the Ivan Milats brought to justice. That’s entertainment! I don’t like to see the sick bastards get away with it. If the writer makes the bad guy an endearing kind of guy, you can give them some slack, like Hannibal, but my final litmus test is: do I want to see this film again. The answer for this one is no. I find this kind of nihilistist genre of film-making disempowering - if I had the choice, I would always choose to be in the shoes of the victimizer rather than the victim, and I don’t like the way those shoes feel.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Pickton
PUFFBALL – directed by Nicholas Roeg. With Kelly Reilly, Miranda Richardson and Rita Tushingham, and a small guest cameo by Donald Sutherland. Synopsis: Powerful supernatural forces are unleashed when a young architect becomes pregnant after moving to an isolated and mysterious valley to build a house. The neighbouring farm women employ pagan rituals against the unborn child. The central metaphor of this movie is the puffball which is a large football-sized mushroom (recipe down below.) This is a great film and one of Roeg’s that slipped through the cracks. Based on a novel by the feminist writer, Fay Weldon, with a screenplay by her son, everything about this movie feels like a labour of love. It is a mix between The Wickerman, Rosemary’s Baby, with touches of Don’t Look Back and Roeg’s unique way of editing and collage. This is also good storytelling that has respect for an audience’s emotional vulnerability and trust. It leaves you wanting to read more of writer Fay Weldon’s work.
What I’m Listening to This Week
THE LIVING YEARS, by Mike Brady.
It’s challenging commenting on someone’s work you have known for thirty years. Especially when you respect the person, which I do of Mike, whom I have found one of the most honest people I have ever worked with. Over the long term, too. Very rare. Still I want to say something intelligent about this record that won’t sound too sucky. I have been encouraging Mike for years to make an album like this: cover versions of great classic songs to show his deeply soulful voice. Many people only know him from ‘Up There Cazaly’ (the song that finally dethroned Slim Dusty and The Pub With No Beer, after 25 years, as the most successful single in Australian music history) and those of you who go further back, will remember MPD Ltd which had a huge number one in Australia with Little Boy Sad, a very pop 60s British-invasion type of sound, which I also liked a lot. This is Mike’s third solo album, after The Mistress (a very personal album about his love for the sea and sailing, with the great track ‘I Think of You’) and his last album, ‘Country to Country’ (which was recorded in Nashville with the cream of Nashville’s studio musos).
On The Living Years, Mike does some of the BIG male vocal pop songs like Working For The Man, Stand By Me, My Girl, When a Man Loves A Woman, (Sitting on) The Dock Of The Bay, Unchain My Heart - even Eleanor Rigby - and a revisit to his first hit, Little Boy Sad. These are some of the signature songs of Roy Orbison, The Temptations, Percy Sledge, Ben E. King, Otis Redding, and Ray Charles, amongst others! Whew! It takes a brave soul to tackle this repertoire and I’m glad he did because these are the kind of songs that Mike sings the pants off.
http://www.myspace.com/mikebradymusic
GEORGE CARLIN
Thoughts On the Environment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kA4fsGkSYCY
(thanks to Dai Woosnam)
ISRAELI ESCAPE RESCUE SYSTEM FOR HIGH RISES
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/98561/escape_rescue_system/
(thanks to Michael Leone)
WHITE POWER IS ALIVE AND UNWELL IN AUSTRALIA
‘If the evil forces led by the Jews are victorious, future humanity is doomed to tens of thousands of years of slavery, misery, and bestiality.’ Ben Klassen, Founder and First Pontifex Maximus of the THE CREATIVITY MOVEMENT
http://www.creativitymovement.net/
(thanksbutnothanks to Pierre B)
(Note: I've always thought WHITEWASH would be a good name for a white power movement. Odd title for the Grand Dragon, though, Pontifex Maxiumus, which in Roman times literally meant greatest bridge builder. Sounds like Mr Klassen wants to take his puffball and go home.)
~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~
Rico Dolce
"This territory is proclaimed!
Rico Dolce is my name!"
(Note: Somebody adopt this kid. Pleeeeze.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjEK_l9___M
RECIPE
Stuffed Giant Puffball Mushroom
(see movie review above)
Ingredients
1 smooth, white giant puffball
2 rashers smoked bacon, chopped
1 slice ham, chopped
6 tomatoes, chopped
1 courgette, chopped
1 handful basil, shredded
1 handful parsley, chopped
1 tsp thyme leaves
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 small onion, chopped
1 tbsp oatmeal
Method:
Slice the top off the puffball and carefully scrape-out the inside (leave a thick skin so they do not collapse then chop up and reserve the scrapings.
Chop the scrapings, mix half with all the other ingredients and stuff back into the puffball. Replace the cap you removed at the beginning and wrap the entire puffball in aluminium foil. Place in a roasting tin and put in an oven pre-heated to 180°C, baking for 2 hours.
Serve immediately, accompanied by fresh vegetables or wild greens.
XV
The Naiads, his sisters,
and sweet Dryads, lingering,
formed a choir of grief to sing,
his lament, their loss.
Of Narcissus, our flower,
nothing remains,
of the youth, his hour,
no remark,
save this white shroud of petals
and pale yellow mouth.
of his eyes? Now dark.
But wait! Mourning Echo,
recalling Narcissus’s final kiss,
in faint refrain, yet and still,
like a mist,
a final breath:
‘vivam’ -
‘live on . . . .
and I shall have life.’
~ Joe Dolce ~
(‘Narcissus’ - Movement XV)
THE FINAL HURRAH
Silver Arrow
A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their underpants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year
four.'
'No, madam,' he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15.'
(thanks to Dai Woosnam)
