JOE DOLCE NEWSLETTER
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Friday June 19th, 2009
"If we have not quiet in our minds, outward comfort
will do no more for us than a golden slipper on a gouty foot."
John Bunyan
Hi folks,
The above poster is from my late 60s band, The Headstone Circus, when I was a student at Ohio University, in Athens, Ohio. This town where I first discovered music (and LSD) is officially classified as one of the most haunted places in the world! (Can you see the haunted look on our faces? It might also be hunger as we were always broke.) The other members of the band were (above me and clockwise) Gonchi, Gary Gans, Todd McKinney, his brother Malcolm, and down in the right hand corner, Jonathan Edwards. We all lived together in a cheap derelict house ten feet away from the Baltimore and Ohio railroad tracks. I can still hear that train thundering past. What a place to be trippin’! Anyway, here’s a little more history about this strange little town that I am still psychically bonded to after 40 years.
The Koons Family Spirit Room
Though they did not gain much material profit from their venture, the Spirit Room, in Athens County, became, for a short time in the 1850's, a Spiritualist destination that attracted hundreds of believers from all over the country. What was nearly as amazing as the fact that so many people came to Athens County was the ordeal that they had to go through to get there. Although still somewhat remote today, it was a virtual wilderness in the 1850's. It was located in a rough and hilly area not far from the Virginia (now West Virginia) line. To reach it, one had to travel by stagecoach from Columbus over rutted and often washed out roads. Then, to reach the Koons' cabin, visitors still had to walk another two miles along a wooded trail. However, few pilgrims regretted their journey and felt completely rewarded by the manifestations that awaited them.
After holding a number of séances of their own, the Koons' were ordered by spirits to build what was dubbed their "Spirit Room". They were given the exact specifications on how to build it, the size, the furnishings and the equipment to use. The Koons' immediately went to work and following the spirit's instructions, constructed a log cabin that was 12 x 14 feet, had three shuttered windows, a single door and a seven foot-high ceiling. The room was then furnished with benches that would hold about 20 people. The spirits also requested that they equip the Spirit Room with a number of musical instruments: a tenor drum, a bass drum, two fiddles, a guitar, an accordion, a trumpet, a tin horn, a tea bell, a triangle and a tambourine. which to suspend a few small bells and some images of doves that were cut from sheets of copper. (article)
http://www.prairieghosts.com/koons.html
There’s a new VEGEMITE coming out soon. Apparently, 300,000 Australians wanted a spread that wouldn’t require butter, resulting in the first modification to the recipe in 85 years. They are apparently adding cream cheese. Sacrilege. Our ancestors will be spreading in their graves. Kraft Foods is having some kind of contest to come up with a name for the new product. I’ve got a couple of suggestions: ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vegemite,’ for one. Or how about: ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Australian’?
Vegemite was invented in 1922 by Cyril P. Callister when, following the disruption of British Marmite imports after World War I, his employer, the Australian company Fred Walker & Co., gave him the task of developing a spread from the used yeast being dumped by breweries. (Callister used autolysis to break down the yeast cells from waste obtained from the Carlton & United brewery.) Vegemite was registered as a trademark in Australia that year. The registration was later transferred to Kraft, a US multinational, which has maintained an interest in Vegemite since the 1920s. I just hope those finicky 300,000 Australians don’t decide next that they want a Vegemite that doesn’t require bread. I already have a name for that one. Sandwich.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5650924
YOUR MOTHER WOULD BE PROUD
“ The famous, the infamous and a few odd bods you've never heard of, share their outrageous, shocking, hilarious and all too true confessions of the stupidest and most disastrously embarrassing times of their lives.”
This new book is a collection of bizarre stories from Australian contributors like Jimmy Barnes (Barnsey!), Tim Rogers (You Am I), Andrew G (Australian Idol), Kate Langbroek (The Panel), KK Juggy (Machine Gun Fellatio/Circus Oz), Steve Kilby (The Church), Kate Miller-Heidke (Aria Award winner), Andrew Bolt (Herald Sun), Suffa (Hilltop Hoods), Austen Tayshus, Mark Wilson (Jet), Sarah Wilson (Masterchef), Julia Zemiro (RocKwiz), yours truly, and many others.
The tale of my infamous acid-trip gone wrong from the 70s, in Athens County, Ohio, is included – the one where I was captured naked, and tied to a tree by the local sheriff, locked up in the Pomeroy Jail, still tripping off-my-face, for an entire week. I would have been out sooner but my friends, who were driving down to the jail to post my bond, with their VW bus for collateral, flipped and totaled the van on the way and they all ended up in the hospital. This is the first prose account of that infamous adventure which has inspired two songs so far, ‘The Ballad of Upsy Daisy,’ recorded by Jonathan Edwards, and the unrecorded, ‘Joe Dolce’s 27th Acid Trip:’
‘Gather round me, friends, and pretend I'm your T.V.
And I'll tell you 'bout the time I popped that pill called L.S.D.
I was somewhere in Ohio, near some little red-neck town,
When I toasted Timothy Leary, with a Coke, and washed it down.’
(http://members.iinet.net.au/~dwomen/files/lyrics/27thTrip.html)
Appropriately enough, all royalties from sale of this book will go to the Mirabel Foundation, assisting children who have been orphaned or abandoned due to parental illicit drug use and are now in the care of extended family (kinship care). I’m sure most of the folks included in this book could also use some kind of assistance but that probably would be more along the lines of psychiatric counseling.
There is going to be a launch for the book at:
The Gershwin Room
Esplanade Hotel,
Melbourne
Thursday July 9, 7pm
With guest performances from some of the contributors. I’ll be singing a couple of songs. Not sure yet who else is performing. Probably whoever has been recently released.
http://www.yourmotherwouldbeproud.com.au/
http://www.mirabelfoundation.org.au/
FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK
Hi Joe,
Re: 'State of Play'
Another classic Hollywood example of taking the story a step too far till you're annoyed or worse don't care about the story or the characters. The latest Batman movie had the same problem, a magnificent movie marred or ruined by being 20 mins and one plot development too long. They make movies like Gridiron - overcooked and overthought. Cheers, Eddie Cole
(Note: Eddie, they don’t call those round table script writing sessions spit-balling for nothing. Too often, the result is all spit and no ball.)
Joe
RE: "Orchestral Conductors Used to be Admired for Being Dictatorial."
What is the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
A bull has its horns at the front and its arsehole at the rear!
Kind regards - (I truly love your Friday blog - makes my week!) Collyn Rivers - up in Broome
(Note: Collyn, thank you! Here’s another one:
What's the difference between a symphony conductor and Dr Scholl's footpads?
Dr Scholl's footpads buck up the feet.
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/#conductor
Joe,
RE: Australian Tax Office Email Scam
I see, you provide your personal details and the fake ATO takes your hard earned dollars away from you - An obvious scam indeed, the ATO would NEVER do that !! Stephen Dunlevey
(Note: Stephen, that’s right. In my experience, the Tax Office usually likes giving you back money. And politicians are honest, musicians clean-living, whisky nutritious, cigarettes open chakras, possums are friendly, Barbie likes sucking up spaghetti and meatballs, rottweilers never poo on the sidewalk, and Catholic priests can be left alone at Bible camp with your six-year old.)
Hi Joe
... Love your newsletters although I must confess I tend to skim through them, picking up on what may interest me. Unfortunately I can't boil water so the recipes tend to go over my head. A sad admission of domestic ignorance. I was very interested, however, to read your Gordon/Grimshaw comments. Personally I have no time for either of them. I can't comment on Ramsey's chef abilities and have never met the man. All that aside I have little time for his shows and tend to avoid turning them on when my 9 year old son is in the room. Even then they smack of the current spate of Reality TV programs that only annoy me anyway. What happened to the days of paid actors performing on TV? My God! Bring back Bewitched or Mash, or anything that had some thought and preparation behind it. All too soon we'll have music programs like Rave with a group of "performers" sitting around holding their iPods.
Then there's Tracy. Again, I've never met the woman and would never presume to dislike her personally. However, to me she represents the saddest change to commercial TV. I fondly recall the Current Affairs programs of the past. Hard hitting international news. Important local problems. Mini 60 Minutes. All that has now been replaced by a video version of the Women's Weekly. Neighbours fighting over the local cat. Groundbreaking make-up technology. Commercial TV at it's worst. Of course, women have a right to articles that interest them personally, and time slots should be available, perhaps even 6:30pm, but personally I miss the loss of this critical time slot, just after the news. The chance from some decent editorial. Then again, the news itself has changed. How many times do we see important world news follow on from the latest Ben Cousins debacle? Commercial TV is not in it's finest hour.
Now to my point; having read your letter and also suffered through the overkill of the Ramsey/Grimshaw affair I finally decided to try to see what it was all about. So I searched for any video of the event. Now it is very easy to find his show from the Sunday, the day after, but it took me quite awhile to find the Saturday clip. In it Gordon says, just after a photo of Miss Piggy, "that's a shot I took of Tracy Grimshaw yesterday. .... it's a joke ...what's the matter with you this morning? After all this time she looks good, no?"
Every line was followed by loud audience laughter. Indeed Miss Piggy was dressed and quaffed much like a TV presenter, but it was a joke, albeit in bad taste. However, compared to some of the things he said about the UK's Got Talent lady it was quite a compliment. No mention of Lesbianism, which was also later acknowledged by Tracy herself. No words to the effect "Fat, Old, Pig". Tracy says her mother was offended. Was her mother in the audience? If not, how did she get offended. A 3000 seat audience has now turned into a world wide affair, through Gordon Ramsey, or Tracy Grimshaw? Personally I think she should have either shut up, or just grown up. I believe this will in time go down as Australian TV's biggest hissy-fit. Bigger than Don Lane. Bigger than Normie Rowe.
Most importantly though, I truly hate the abuse of power shown by ACA and Channel 9 in general. Imagine if at anytime someone that takes offence at a tasteless joke is given the chance of a 5 minute tirade on national television. All that I hate about commercial TV has finally peaked. The British tabloids have nothing compared to so-called Australian "journalism".
Having said all that, here I am glorifying the moment by carrying on about it myself. Perhaps I should just Shaddapa my face.
Keep up all the good work Joe. All the best, Adrian Scott
(Note: Folks, Adrian used to be the rep for Roland Instruments and, in the early days of sequencers, back in the 80s, we played in a band together, with one of the first programmed drum and keyboard backings in Australia. Roland was still working the bugs out of that gear and we were using kind-of prototypes, so to speak. One night, during ‘Walking the Dog,’ somebody behind the bar opened the fridge too many times and our drum machine short-circuited into the next song which was three times as fast! Those of us on the real instruments and singing, however, kept on playing Walking the Dog, insanely attempting to keep up with the sudden manic pace. I think the audience thought it was all part of the creative arrangement. Too much drugs – and electricity – will do that to you.)
Hello Joe,
Haven't seen you in........ forever! At least we are still breathing... least I was when I broke up this morning!
However, I always read your missives with delight... keep them coming.
With regard to your mention of Sinatra calling a journo a "Hooker", I was king of at first hand and received the story first hand. I was at TCS Studios...a part of Channel nine at that time and the "Hooker" and her cameraman came in for a coffee... hassled and a bit pissed off with their editor.... straight from the Southern cross hotel..told the story of a news editor sending them out to get a good story on Sinatra..."at any costs"....they did and went about it in a way that brought them undone and in doing so received the wrath of the man. Channel 9 turned it into a story about the man and forgot to add the bad bits about its employees. Sinatra didn't apologize by the way. As you probably know, the unions pulled the plug with the musicians..the shows, nationally were cancelled. Sinatra then did a deal with one of the TV stations...can't remember which one...to perform one show at Festival Hall to be televised nationally so that those who booked tickets would at least get something...plus their money back. The audience at Festival Hall paid around $150 per head for the privilege........Sinatra finished his opening song...grabbed a stool...sat down and quietly said..."you have probably read in the news that I called one of your reporters a hooker? Well, I thought I had very good reason to do that". he then went on to tell the story...same one the two nine employees actually...told me and the engineer...almost word for word....He finished up by saying "I thank all of you guys for coming tonight...we're gonna have us some fun...and by the way....she is still a hooker"!! Standing ovation and a great two hours of the man....live on TV. I don't think there was a winner....not that Sinatra really cared... and I heard some time later that the two nine employees resigned...or were pushed? The unions would allow his plane to be topped up with fuel for the flight home....or to the next country.....so he flew some into Melbourne himself. There are just some things that stick..especially when the whole truth is not mentioned.....and especially when politicians and dare I say it bloody unions make a Everest out of an ant hill.
Having said all that.....must be my speed typing....I trust you are well. Take care, good luck and cheers, Buddy England
(Note: Buddy, from ‘That’s Frank’:
I've been a gangster, a gorilla, a gumbah, a gimp,
A b-grade actor and a pimp. . . .
Hey JOsephus,
Giri Mazzella here-long time no eata spaghett together!! a couple or triple of appeals here;
First this newsletter seems like the sort of place people would know the answer to this:
Can I put an appeal out for the lyrics to a Louis Prima number "Please no squeez-a da banana!!"....
perhaps you can include as a section in your newsletter some of your other all time favourite comic
Italenglish/engliano/italish/Istraliano songs?? It took me ages to locate the music to one of the all time classics " Josephina please no lean on the bell"
made famous by eddie cantor....it follows in the tradition of the Italian comic character sketch "called a "macchietta")...there's gotta be more out there!!!!
Really enjoyed your comments about laughs in hospital with the lovely arnold zable and friends.It got
me thinking about aksing you something drastic.
I could'nt help thinking about the Clown Doctors who work all round Australia and in Melbourne
too. I am one here in Perth (I misdiagnose under the title of Dr Wot? Head Of Amnesia - I'm tellin ya
there's plenty of room for an innuendo in the hospital!!))
Anyway Clown Doctors are a service provided free to hospitals to bring humour to the healing
process.Its a relief that I have found my niche in life -being a high status lunatic in the anally
hierarchical hospital system..we see everything on the human scale.Lots of times its very touching
especially when an exhausted parent says "Thats the first time they've smiled and laughed in
months"...-as you can imagine its absolutely brilliant job satisfaction and fantastic people to work
with...Its really needed in Hospitals where I see that everyone is suffering some sort of pain or trauma
or boredom... and then there's always the patients as well....(boom boom!!)
Anyway - recently sponsors have pulled out and we've had to cut back our whole operation Australia
wide..which means less laughter for kids and parents...
I would like to ask you if I can plop in a (humourous) request to your readers to consider becoming a
long term supporter for the Clown Doctors. ie making a small donation every year.
We are quite different from other "being nice to sick kiddies" charities in that Clown Doctors work to
record medical research on humour, create direct empathic connection with kids and encourage each
clown doctor to develop individual skills and characters.As a charity Clown Docs often get mercilessly
blown out of the water by the "Big Mac" variety of kids charities that often only provide soulless
colouring- in sheets or video games consoles or TV programs for kids in hospital. The Melbourne
Team has about 8 really hilarious characters eg Dr Tickle ...I did a shift at Royal Children’s Hospital
recently with him recently and it was an absolute hoot...
This July we are having a national get together at Queenscliff in August (imagine dozens of clown
doctors in the same convention centre for a few days -its hilarious)
let me know what ya think... anyway love ya work,
please give my best to Arnold when you see him.
baci from Giri Mazzella (and the rest of the Black Nonnas)
(Note: Folks, for further information on Clown Doctors:
Contact details-
e-mail: info@clowndoctors.com.au
website: http://www.clowndoctors.com.au
As for you, Giri, I have recordings of both the above songs by Louie Prima. Here are the lyrics as far as I can make out. There are a couple of dialectal Italian words in there. If anyone can guess what they are, let me know, otherwise just make up something rude.
Josephina, Please No Lean-a On the Bell
Josephina, Please No Lean-a On the Bell,
When you moosh-a please no poosh-a on the bell
You know mama wake up and it is really a sin
The way you keep ringin’ and you never come in.
You can squeez-a all you pleases-a that’s alright,
But the bell she no can take it every night,
You eat garlic so strong, how can he kiss so long,
Josephina, Please No Lean-a On the Bell.
When I bring-a you up and I make-a you fat
Just-a like-a the horse you could eat.
Now all-a you do is a make-a the love
And you eat like a bird in the street.
Oh why-a you no bring-a Giuseppe upstairs
And you and him read-a the book?
And if you no read-a, well that’s-a all right
Cause your mama and papa no look.
Josephina, Please No Lean-a On the Bell,
When you moosh-a please no poosh-a on the bell.
Every night you go neckin’ with your fella, Giusep,
Your papa he dig but your mama no hep.
You can play-a onesy twosy in the park
Spin the bottle and shamogle in the dark
But when you kiss in the hall
Stay away from the wall
Josephina, I don’t wanna be mean-a
Pretty soon-a your mama give you a kafuto (?)*
With a bena pastina (?)*
But please please please don’t lean on the bell.
Please! No Squeez-a Da Banana
Roddie the cop would always stop
On the corner of Tony’s fruit stand
He’d help himself to anything
On which he could lay his hand.
Roddie did this quite often
Plenty of fruit he would soften
So Tony got sore and inwardly swore
And he began to shout:
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
Because when you do that
Then you make her flat
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
When-a you squeez-a da plum
You put them on-a the bum
You touch-a this
You touch-a that
You touch-a everything
You push-a this
You push-a that
You never buy nothing, so:
Please! No squeez-a da banana
If-a you squeeze-a Officer please-a
Squeez-a da coconut.
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
Because when you do that
Then you make her flat
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
When-a you squeez-a da grape
You put ‘em outta shape
You touch-a this
You touch-a that
You take me for a fool
You squeeze-a this
You squeez-a that
Why don’t you squeez-a chatroo (?)*
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
If-a you squeeze-a Officer please-a
Squeez-a da coconut.
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
Because when you do that
Then you make her flat
Hey, please! No squeez-a da banana
When you make the reach
You break-em up da peach
You touch-a this
You push-a that
You muss-a up the stand
You squeez-a this,
You take-a that
Someday I’ll break-a you hand!
Please! No squeez-a da banana
If-a you squeeze-a Officer please-a
Squeez-a da coconut.
Hey! Squeez-a the watermelon,
But please no squeez-a da banana.
*possibly Italian/ Sicilian dialectal slang – most likely rude! Substitute something similar.
The Sun as a Red Giant
‘The Sun is expected to become a red giant in approximately 5 billion years. It is calculated that the Sun will become sufficiently large to engulf the current orbits of the solar system's inner planets, up to Earth, and its radius will expand to a minimum of 200 times its current value. The Sun will lose a significant fraction of its mass in the process of becoming a red giant, and there is a chance that Mars and all the outer planets will escape as their resulting orbits will widen. Mercury and most likely Venus will have been swallowed by sun's outer layer at this time. Earth's fate is less clear. Earth could technically achieve a widening of its orbit and could potentially maintain a sufficiently high angular velocity to keep it from becoming engulfed. In order to do so, its orbit needs to increase to between 1.3 AU (190,000,000 km) and 1.7 AU (250,000,000 km). However the results of studies announced in 2008 show that due to tidal interaction between sun and Earth, Earth would actually fall back into a lower orbit, and get engulfed and incorporated inside the sun before the sun reaches its largest size, despite the sun losing about 38% of its mass. Before this happens, Earth's biosphere will have long been destroyed by the Sun's steady increase in brightness as its hydrogen supply dwindles and its core contracts, even before the transition to a Red Giant. After just over 1 billion years, the extra solar energy input will cause Earth's oceans to evaporate and the hydrogen from the water to be lost permanently to space, with total loss of water by 3 billion years. Earth's atmosphere and lithosphere will become like that of Venus. Over another billion years, most of the atmosphere will get lost in space as well; ultimately leaving Earth as a desiccated, dead planet with a surface of molten rock.’ wikipedia
(Note: I’m not trying to worry you – just thought you might like to work that into your long range goals.)
JOHN MCCAIN PLAYS THE DRUMS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMPNWT6NxMY&feature=related
IS TERRY FADER THE GREATEST VENTRILOQUIST EVER?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNJ02rxaNrs
(thanks to Paul Roberts)
Somali Islamists Issue Blanket Ban on Movies
MOGADISHU (AFP) - Islamists controlling southern Somalia on Saturday banned watching DVDs or movies on television and said raids would be conducted to catch offenders, who would then be severely punished. "Watching films is totally banned, even indoors," Sheikh Mowlid Ahmed, a security forces commander in the port city of Kismayo said in a statement.
"People are allowed to use their home televisions only to watch news on such channels such as Al-Jazeera," he added.
The Islamists have already shut down cinemas in 2006 in areas under their control.
"Raids will be carried out on homes of people suspected of illegally watching films and if found guilty, they will face punishment," Ahmed said.
Islamist fighters wrested control of the key port city in October, more than a year after they were driven out by Ethiopian troops backing the government.
Residents say Islamist security forces in the town recently started inspecting mobile phones to prevent them from being used for watching movies.
"Security forces nowadays check our mobile phones and if you have a movie in memory you get punished," said a resident Mohamed Adan.
The punishment normally meted out on offenders is flogging.
Somalia's Islamists want to oust the moderate and western-backed transitional administration in Mogadishu so they can impose a tough form of Sharia law.
Ethiopian troops rolled into the country in late 2006 at the request of the embattled transitional government.
The country has had no effective government since the 1991 ouster of Siad Barre touched off a bloody power struggle that has defied numerous attempts to restore stability.
What I’m Reading This Week
IN THE BLOOD, by Andrew Motion. Poetic memoir of his childhood, growing up in post-war England, and how family life is shattered when his mother suffers a terrible riding accident.
YOUR MOTHER WOULD BE PROUD, edited by Tamara Sheward & Jenny Valentish. On-the-road stories of mayhem from Jimmy Barnes, Tim Rogers, Andrew G, Kenny Jacobson, Kate Langbroek, KK Juggy, Steve Kilby, Kate Miller-Heidke, yours truly and many others.
What I’m Watching This Week
FIREFLY – created by Joss Whedon. Part western, part Star Trek. Discontinued after one season but one of my favourite US sci-fi series of all time. This is my third watching. Contains one of the most evocative folk-blues theme ballads ever written for a series, Serenity, written by Whedon himself!
24 REDEMPTION – with Keifer Sutherland. During the writer’s strike in Hollywood, when production was stopped on the series 24, this stand-alone two hour film was made to fill in the one year hiatus of the show. I didn’t like it much when I first watched it - but now that I’ve seen Season 7 of the series, I went back and watched 24 Redemption again and it works much better as the prequel to Series 7. Most of the same characters appear in it and it fills in a lot of the back story.
Jesus Is My Friend by Sonseed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8
(thanks to Joe Creighton)
Welcome to OnlineConversion.com
Convert just about anything to anything else.
Over 5,000 units, and 50,000 conversions.
Length, Temperature, Speed, Volume, Weight, Cooking, Area, Fuel Economy, Currency ,Clothes Sizes – you name it!
http://www.onlineconversion.com/
A Butterfly Emerges from the Cocoon
Watch a butterfly emerge from a cocoon and grow wings in this beautiful time-lapse film.
http://gimundo.com/videos/view/a-butterfly-emerges-from-the-cocoon/
(thanks to Ramon Sender)
~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~
DOLCE
A Descriptive Ontology for Linguistic and Cognitive Engineering
DOLCE is the first module of the WonderWeb Foundational Ontologies Library (WFOL).
In our presentation paper, it is described using first-order logic.
The specific assumptions adopted for this module are first introduced informally,
along with the basic categories, functions, and relations.
We then present a rich axiomatic characterization,
aimed at clarifying our assumptions and illustrate their formal consequences (theorems).
(Eh duh? If that’s all too much for you dummies, you can always choose :
Dolce Lite
DOLCE-2.1-Lite-Plus, download online ontology library version DLP3971
or download the zipped file of the last OWL build
The "lite" versions are simplified translations of Dolce2.0 that do not consider:
modality, temporal indexing, relation composition.
In addition, different names are adopted for relationsthat have the same name but different arities in the FOL version. Some commonsense concepts have also been added as examples.
The DOLCE-2.1-Lite-Plus version also includes some modules for
Plans, Information Objects, Semiotics, Temporal relations,
Social notions (collectives, organizations, etc.), a Reification vocabulary, etc.
http://www.loa-cnr.it/DOLCE.html
RECIPE
White Beans with Ham Hocks, Crackle and fresh Coriander
1 medium smoked ham hock (with skin)
250 g dried white beans (soaked overnight)
1 small onion (chopped finely)
1 stick celery (chopped)
half green pepper (capsicum), diced
olive oil
small piece of guanciale (or bacon or pancetta), finely diced
1 can diced tomatoes (or fresh, peeled)
1 teap red chili flakes
1 clove garlic, chopped
bunch fresh coriander
3 tbles Louisiana Hot Sauce (or Frank's Hot Sauce)
1 bay leaf
half teas sugar
half teas fresh peppercorns
salt and pepper to taste
Soak the beans overnight. Put a couple of tbles olive oil and half the onions in a large pot and cook until translucent. Add beans, peppercorns and ham hock, cover with water and bring to boil. Simmer for one hour or until beans are just cooked. Strain liquor into a large pot. Place the ham hock back in the pot with the liquor and bay leaf, bring to a boil, cover and simmer for another hour, or until meat falls off the bone. Put the beans in a separate clean pot.
In a frypan, fry the remain onions and guanciale with the olive oil until soft. Add the celery, green pepper and chili flakes. Cook for a couple minutes. Add the tomatoes and hot sauce, 1 teas sugar and salt and pepper to taste. Cook for about ten minutes and turn off the heat.
Strain and remove the ham hock from the liquid. Remove the skin and set aside. Discard the bones and fatty bits. Break up the meat into small pieces and add to the beans in the pot. Add the tomato mixture to the beans.
Lift as much of the fat off the stock liquor as you can and then add about two cups of stock to the beans and discard the rest.
Reheat the bean on a low simmer while you prepare the pork skin.
Preheat oven to hot. Place the pork skin on an ovenproof pan, drizzle a little olive oil over and sprinkle with salt.
Bake until skin is quite crisp, almost burnt. Drain on paper towels until cool. Chop the skin finely and mix with chopped coriander for garnish.
Serve a bowl of beans with the garnish sprinkled on top.
DETOUR
I took a long time getting here,
much of it wasted on wrong turns,
back roads riddled by ruts.
I had adventures
I never would have known
if I proceeded as the crow flies.
Super highways are so sure
of where they are going:
they arrive too soon.
A straight line isn't always
the shortest distance
between two people.
Sometimes I act as though
I'm heading somewhere else
while, imperceptibly,
I narrow the gap between you and me.
I'm not sure I'll ever
know the right way, but I don't mind
getting lost now and then.
Maps don't know everything.
~ Ruth Feldman ~
(The Ambitions of Ghosts)
THE FINAL HURRAH
The Spanish version of Uncoolhunter.com has included my long out-of-print Xmas album, Christmas in Australia, as one of their 20 recommended Christmas Albums, along with Natty Christmas, by Jacob Miller, the Pac-Man Christmas Album, The Night Before Christmas, by Liberace, Christmas with Colonel Sanders, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, by Gene Autry, and Christmas with Patti Page.
http://www.theuncoolhunter.com/home.php?idioma=ESP&id_uncool=1320#
(From German Wikipedia – machine translated!)
“Joe Dolce uses his music is always the expression of criticism of the society. His first song was in Australia Boat People (1978), which is about the Vietnamese boat people went. Last 2003, he wrote a protest song against the Iraq war (One Iraqi Child, 2003). Shaddap You Face, the situation of the Italian minority and had for Australia in the early '80s, a socio-political importance because the Southern European immigrants were not high and only their place in society had to fight. Therefore, You Face Shaddap, also frequently associated with the immigrants and racism, for example in a recent version of Dolce with a Vietnamese-Australian comedian as a protest song against a racist party in Australia. Similarly, there is a version of the song in the language of the Aborigines, the Australian aborigines.
Meanwhile, there are well over 30 other recordings of the song by other artists, also in Spanish, French and German. A German version is not you man worse was 1981 a radio for Gottlieb neck turning. Noteworthy are also the versions of EMF and the hip-hopper KRS-One.
The mood catchy song with its simple melody and its humor-flapsigen text is, however, has always been the aim of derision and often appears alongside songs of similar style, such as the duck dance or Anton from Tyrol in elections to the "worst song of all time" and similar anti - Elections to the front seats.”
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Dolce