JOE DOLCE NEWSLETTER
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Friday June 5th, 2009
Butt of Sack
“ ...I escap'd upon a butt of sack which the sailors heav'd o'erboard...”
William Shakespeare, The Tempest
Hi folks,
I was privileged to perform this week at Gardenview House at the Royal Melbourne Hospital Royal Park Campus. I had been invited by writer Arnold Zable who mentioned to me that the Gardenview fun therapist, Dolly, had been singing my song, Shaddap You Face, to close the weekly music afternoon – and they would love it if I came along and sang it in person. (They open the session with ‘We Are the Champions’ but Freddy Mercury wasn’t available, so who ya gonna call?)
Gardenview House is formally described as a Slow Stream Rehabilitation Facility for Adult Inpatients with Acquired Brain Injury but most of the patients I sang for were young people. Everyone present was in wheelchairs - including the two lovely Saras to either side of me, on tambourines, and James, a 20 year old, from the Carey Grammar, who was to become an arts/law student, there with a catastrophic brain injury the result of a street assault. James’ story is here:
http://www.thinkahead.net.au/think/recreation/headlines/april07/290407inthenameoftheson.htm
Arnold Zable is writing a wonderful piece, about his recent road accident and Gardenview House, which he allowed me to preview, and which helped prepare me for Dolly and my afternoon with the kids. When I lived in Cambridge, in the early 70s, when I was in my twenties, I was an attendant nurse, for a year, in the geriatrics section of the local mental hospital (often I would go to work stoned on acid – hey folks, I might still be there and someone else could be writing this), and in Berkeley, in the mid-70s, I worked for a year as a personal live-in fulltime nurse for a quadriplegic man, so I was already prepared a little emotionally for the challenges and also the great rewards from this kind of work. But to tell you the truth, it seemed more like an afternoon playing music with my grandkids. Everyone’s self-consciousness practically vanished after the first few bars and it began just one frenetic music session. Due mostly to Dolly, who sang, danced, teased, encouraged and laughed everyone through the entire hour. She was helped out by two loud screeching budgerigars who did wing-spread acrobatics on their trapezes and punctuated the heys on Shaddap You Face, often in the correct places. There’s a show business saying: never perform on the same stage with children or animals - but that old chestnut was obviously chewed on by someone who never loved either children or animals. Don’t pay any attention to any of that nonsense ‘cause that’s where the real magic is. When it was time to say goodbye, as a thank you, I was anointed, by that room full of bright saints and angels, graciously, with a bottle of really good shiraz. Wine and poetry.
OUT OF DARK CORNERS
Our meal concludes
With sunset extinguishing
The Western sky.
Suddenly,
Out of dark corners,
Rise the refrains
Of popular folk songs
And sad gloomy
Jingxi prison
Has become a
Little music
Festival!
~ Ho Chi Minh ~
(translated by Joe Dolce)
BUTT OF SACK
As part of the British Poet Laureate prize, the chosen one receives, in addition to some pocket money, "a butt of sack." The butt is an English measure of capacity for liquids, containing 126 wine gallons which is one-half tun; equivalent to the pipe, ie. about 600 bottles - of sherry. Previous Poet Laureate Andrew Motion hasn't received his yet, but Carol Ann Duffy has asked for hers upfront! Here’s to ya, Carol! With all the controversial views about the Laureate position, I don’t blame her for wanting to get her butt in a sack. Here are some poetry links that I have been spending time with this week:
Portraits of the Poet Laureate through the Ages
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/gallery/2009/mar/13/poet-laureate-carol-ann-duffy?picture=346536534
Click on a Poet
to explore their life and legacy with poems, video and more:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/poetryseason/
THE POETRY ARCHIVE
The Poetry Archive exists to help make poetry accessible, relevant and enjoyable to a wide audience. It came into being as a result of a meeting, in a recording studio, between Andrew Motion, soon after he became U.K. Poet Laureate in 1999, and the recording producer, Richard Carrington. They agreed about how enjoyable and illuminating it is to hear poets reading their work and about how regrettable it was that, even in the recent past, many important poets had not been properly recorded.
http://www.poetryarchive.org/poetryarchive/home.do
FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK
Joe,
RE: To Write From the Other Side
I thought this one obvious, but maybe not:
Q: Why did the writer cross the road?
“ Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I crossed the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
I enjoy your news letter and share it with coworkers, friends, songsters, and occasionally relatives. Kollene Goheen, Michigan.
(Note: Thanks Kollene. I tweaked your Robert Frost contribution a little. Hope you don’t mind. Here’s another of his poems that I more seriously rewired. You may not want to share this one with the relatives:
STUPING A HORSE IN WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING
(after Robert Frost)
Whose poem this is I think I know.
His horse is more appealing though;
He will not see me drop my drawers
As round his flank I tippy-toe.
The little horse must think I'm queer,
My fumbling to mount him from the rear.
My hands are cold, my aim astray,
His swishy tail gets in the way.
He gives his snowy butt a shake,
To neigh if there is some mistake;
Have I confused him with a sheep?
My mind is dull and numb with ache,
But there's this poem I must complete
And lines to repeat before I sleep,
And lines to repeat before I sleep.
Boy Chosen by Dalai Lama Turns Back on Buddhist Order
Dale Fuchs
"The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is the most difficult period in one's life."
Lhamo Thondup (aka Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama)
As a toddler, he was put on a throne and worshipped as by monks who treated him like a god. But the boy chosen by the Dalai Lama as a reincarnation of a spiritual leader has caused consternation – and some embarrassment – for Tibetan Buddhists by turning his back on the order that had such high hopes for him. Instead of leading a monastic life, Osel Hita Torres now sports baggy trousers and long hair, and is more likely to quote Jimi Hendrix than Buddha.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/31/dalai-lama-osel-hita-torres
(Note: Obviously, not a Leonard Cohen fan. But my kind of spiritual guy)
Gay Student Voted Prom Queen
An openly gay teen has been voted prom queen at his Los Angeles high school in a campaign that began as a stunt but ended up spurring discussion on the campus about gender roles and popularity.
Sergio Garcia said he felt "invincible" when he was crowned queen of the Fairfax High School dance at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on Saturday. Days before the dance, Garcia told fellow students that he was "not your typical prom queen candidate. There's more to me than meets the eye."
He also promised that he would be wearing a suit on prom night, but "don't be fooled: Deep down, I am a queen." And he made good of that promise Saturday, wearing a gray tuxedo topped off with the prized tiara.
Garcia, 18, said he saw fliers advertising the prom and the election but they didn't specify that the queen must be female. He thought the role would suit him better than prom king.
"I don't wish to be a girl," he told the Los Angeles Times. "I just wish to be myself."
Senior class president Vanessa Lo said she and other students were initially against the idea but became convinced he wasn't just an attention-seeking clown. "It just goes to show how open-minded our class is," Lo said. Unique Payne, 17, said she voted for Garcia because she supported the gay community.
Although many students were supportive of Garcia's run, others were upset and didn't understand why Garcia chose to run for prom queen.
"I'm not really happy about that," said 17-year-old Juan Espinoza. "He should've run for prom king."
BRUNO AND DIETER
Sacha Baron Cohen, infamous for Borat, has a new movie coming out in July featuring another shock-and-surprise character named Bruno. I found the movie, Borat, excruciatingly funny in sections, but overall, extremely offensive in the way it manipulated and deceived vulnerable people in order to catch them unawares – like a sicko version of ‘Candid Camera.’ I guess it’s really up to the individuals who were humiliated to take what ever action they see fit and more power to them. Many have already instigated law suits against Cohen.
Still, I have a soft spot in my heart for Sacha Baron Cohen. My favourite of all his creations was his first one, Ali G, and he even credited me as an influence once thusly:
“ Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen has revealed where he found the inspiration for his Italian accent in Tim Burton's movie version of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - in Australia. The 36-year old British actor and comedian, who plays Senor Pirelli opposite Johnny Depp in the title role of the Stephen Sondheim musical, says the accent comes from the Joe Dolce song, Shaddap You Face." I knew I needed a ridiculous Italian accent, so I'd walk on set every day singing 'Whatsa matter you? Gotta no respect,'" Baron Cohen says. "The accent of Senor Pirelli comes from Joe Dolce!"
How about that?
But Cohen said that he could no longer get away with much using Borat who had become too well known but you will soon see that Bruno can do everything that Borat could do. America is a big place and there are plenty of gullible people. Bruno is a gay character claiming to be a reporter from an Austrian television station and interviews unsuspecting guests about topics such as fashion, entertainment, celebrities and homosexuality. Last month, Bruno appeared at the MTV Movie Awards descending from a harness across the audience as an Angel with wings strapped to his back. Suddenly, something goes wrong with the rigging and he comes down awkwardly onto rapper Eminem seated directly beneath him. He landed in Eminem's lap with his rear end in Eminem's face. This was later revealed to be a set-up stunt (he originally asked Paris Hilton to do it but she refused) but it still looks pretty funny. And slightly dangerous with his feet waving around inches above the audience’s heads.
Here is the MTV excerpt:
http://www.thebrunomovie.com/featured/bruno-crashes-mtv-movie-awards/
Here is a trailer from the new movie:
http://www.thebrunomovie.com/bruno-movie-trailer/
As you can see, Sacha Baron Cohen is still up to his old tricks. More lawsuits to follow, no doubt. (see further down.)
Cohen’s Bruno character resembles another fellow I used to like a lot called: Dieter. DIETER (proun: deeter), created by Mike Myers in the late 80s, hosted a fictional West German television talk show called Sprockets. It appeared on Saturday Night Live. The character was ‘a bored, disaffected West German expressionist and minimalist who would interview celebrities in whom he was barely interested and always bring the discussion around to his "limited" monkey Klaus. The sketch made fun of German art culture in the 1980s. Appearing asexual or effeminate, Myers' costume consisted of tight black leotards; round, wire-rimmed glasses, and slicked-back hair. The show itself featured, most notably, a section entitled "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos," which showcased scenes of old men's heads spinning around, dying cats, ants, and other disturbing sights. The theme song for Sprockets was Kraftwerk's 1986 song "Electric Café", sped up by playing the 33⅓ rpm album at 45 rpm, then remixed. Three memorable phrases from the sketch that are well known by fans were 'Touch my monkey', a recurring reference to his pet monkey, Klaus (to touch him was a privilege), 'Your narrative has become tiresome', whenever Dieter became bored with a guest, and 'Now is the time on Sprockets vhen ve dance!', which was always uttered frantically at the end of the show and followed by some robotic techno-dancing on the set.’ wikipedia.
Mike Myers originally was contracted to make a movie featuring Dieter but backed out due to, in his opinion, a poor script. Myers was sued by Universal Pictures for $3.8 million, countersued, and a settlement was reached after several months where he agreed to make another film with Universal, The Cat in the Hat. Here are some other memorable Dieter quotes:
"Vhy is it that the truly brilliant are doomed to a life of obscurity, surrounded by a sea of mediocrity, only to end up covered in sores in a pool of their own filth? Oh vell, the beat goes on."
"In your film Irritant Number Four, the only images were that of a baby's head and a toilet. Did you mean for me to scream?"
"I'm happy as a little GIIIIIRL."
"Textures intrigue me."
"A fat man and a shprinkler are soon together."----Old Bavarian adage
"You are beautiful and angular."
"You disturb me to the point of insanity. There. I am insane now."
Woman Sues Over Bruno 'Assault'
ABC
A California woman has sued British actor Sacha Baron Cohen, accusing him of assault in an encounter she said occurred during filming for his upcoming movie Bruno.
In her lawsuit, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on May 22 and first reported by celebrity website TMZ.com on Wednesday (local time), Richelle Olson said that in 2007 Cohen appeared at her charity bingo game in his guise as Bruno - a flamboyantly gay Austrian.
Ms Olson's lawsuit said that at the bingo game Cohen pushed her and she fell.
She was surrounded by his cameramen, who attacked and filmed her.
She escaped to a side room, where she fainted, hit her head and suffered bleeding in her brain, according to the lawsuit.
She now uses a wheelchair.
In her lawsuit, Ms Olson also named as a defendant NBC Universal, the studio behind Bruno.
It is unclear whether the incident will appear in the film.
Representatives for Cohen and NBC Universal declined to comment on Ms Olson's allegations.
The lawsuit accuses Cohen, NBC Universal and other companies involved in the production of assault, battery, fraudulent misrepresentation and other charges.
It seeks unspecified damages.
What I’m Reading This Week . . .
Midnight in Sicily, by Peter Robb. This book was recommended to me by Queensland chef, Tony Sassi, over sushi. Winner of the Victorian Premier’s Literary Award for fiction. Incredible history of serious organized crime in Sicily, beginning, the author argues, from the midnight landing in 1943, of the first allied troops, a year before D-Day. It’s said that Lucky Luciano, the American boss of bosses, who was in prison in the US, helped out in Sicily with ‘services to the nation’ which resulted in his early release. Robb depicts the mob as a ‘shadow government’ but always canny enough to work within real government power, whenever possible, in a kind of symbiosis. In counterpoint, are many tales and stories about food and cooking. For instance, the fork is a relatively new invention. In classical times, people used to eat with their hands. And the knife. The fork evolved out of the gradual use of the knife for sticking things and putting them into your mouth. But its use was actually forbidden for a long time and considered a tool of the devil by theologians. Instrumentum diaboli.
Spaghetti & The Stars – photograph book by Damiani. Classic shots of Hollywood and Italian Movie stars of the 50s-90s eating and making spaghetti! I once had a submission rejected by the Lygon Italian Festival director (who name will remain unmentionable) because he said he hated Shaddap You Face, that I had taken Italian progress in Australia backward 20 years, and that HE was attempting to get Italians away from ‘spaghetti and concrete’ and awaken them to the glories of Puccini and Verdi. Away from spaghetti and concrete? Tell it to Bruno Grollo, one of Australia’s richest men, founder of Grocon, builder of most of Melbourne’s skyscrapers. Tell it to Luciano Pavrotti – he didn’t get that stomach eating quiche. And tell it to the cavalcade of gorgeous movie stars and brilliant directors in this great book. Spaghetti is the DNA of Italians. (By the way, the Chinese did not invent it – the Arabs did.)
Dangerous Plays, poetry by Andrew Motion. The previous Poet Laureate of England. Excellent collection. Old Andrew’s a bit of a whinger but a marvelous writer and his good stuff is truly inspiring. Some say Motion, in his ten years of Royal Service, redirected the role of Laureate away from the stodgy pudding of Ted Hughes and the like, and helped make it possible for writers like the current lesbian single mum, Carol Anne Duffy, to even be considered. For instance, the post used to be a life appointment with a yearly stipend of 200 pounds. Motion only agreed to do it for ten years, at 5000 pounds a year. Normally, I don’t trust contemporary poets too much who never use the word fuck, but Motion’s work is important and well-crafted, and should be studied. I’m getting heaps from reading him in the wee hours. But on other life matters: Andrew, grow up! He has remarked that the Laureate appointment has been "very, very damaging to [his] work." Using lame ass excuses like writer’s block. Hello? There is no such thing as writer’s block. There is only having a closed mind and being so blind-sided with your own self-importance (or self-loathing) that you are unable to find inspiration in the infinite miracles right in front of your face 24/7. You dig? Reread Coleridge, Yeats. Listen to Bach, Hendrix. Play with your grandkids. Come on. Motion wrote and performed (yikes!) a hip-hop poem for Prince William’s 21st birthday which he says now he wishes he hadn’t done. Germaine Greer agrees with him. Here is the poem:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3008210.stm
I think the poem is rubbish too - but to both of these esteemed grown-ups, who should know better, I say again: grow the fuck up! 'I wish I hadn't done it.' Imagine making that comment to one of your own children. Why regret something as graciously generous as a birthday poem for a child? Instead, rather say how you could have improved it with a re-write. And then do it! You’re the frigging poet laureate. People are looking to you for direction. I like Motion’s hip-hop aberration precisely because it IS lousy. It illustrates how a good poet is capable of bad poetry, and how a bad poet can come up with good poetry, and therefore - there’s hope for us all.
Here’s a link to Motion’s bellyaching about the Royals (Personally, I would have co-written the lyrics with Kate Tempest – and asked her to perform it - and would have been drinking my butt of sack, off to the side, to help me get through it.)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7607897.stm
- -Thanks to Dai Woosnam for a fragment of the Kate Tempest poetry slam video he sent me, which introduced me to her work. Here is the full flight four minute version of Cannibal Kids. Be prepared to be moved by this gifted 20 year old:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUEsihgq8zU&feature=channel_page
What I’m Watching This Week . . .
The Triangle – with Sam Neil, Eric Stoltz and Lou Diamond Philips. US sci-fi mini-series about The Bermuda Triangle. Excellent.
Samson and Delilah – with Dennis Hopper and Elizabeth Hurley. Say no more – except the film - a sword and sandal Bible Collection HBO number - is directed by the great Nicolas Roeg. Wha?? Still didn’t keep me from falling asleep, but worth a watch. The story of Samson is interesting, however. I'm always mixing Samson up with Hercules. Does anyone else have this problem?
Ok- Hercules was a mythical Greek hero, of great strength and big muscles, son of the God Jupiter and a mortal woman. Samson was a flesh and blood Old Testament judge, who is given great strength, and big muscles, by the God Jehovah through - you guessed it - a mortal woman. (You can understand why my child mind mixed them up.) An angel appears to Manoah, an Israelite from the tribe of Dan, in the city of Zorah, and to his wife, who had been unable to conceive. This angel proclaims that the couple will soon have a son who will begin to deliver the Israelites from the Philistines. Sound familiar? The whole historical scenario of gods impregnating mortal women is the stuff of ancient Greek and Roman myths. Obviously, Manoah’s wife wasn't a Virgin. But now that I think of it, why are we assuming that Jesus' mother, Mary, was a virgin if she was MARRIED to Joseph? I don't think so. What were they waiting for - their first anniversary?
The fact that these two strongmen are so easily intertwined in my imagination (and probably many of yours) is probably one of the reasons why I have no problem now of seeing the mythological basis of all organized religion. Of course, the confusion could also be due to actor Steve Reeves, the movie star who played Hercules, and was also slated to star as Samson in Cecil B. de Mille's 'Samson and Deliah’ (1949) - except that he refused to lose 15 pounds of muscle - so the part passed on to Victor Mature. That 15 pounds of muscle that Reeves refused to lose must have been between his ears as he turned down two serious career establishing roles, that of James Bond, in Dr No (1962) - (which then went to second choice, Sean Connery) - and the lead role that finally ended up with Clint Eastwood, in a Fistful of Dollars (1964.) Eh duh! Feel the burn!
The Beales of Grey Gardens – by Albert and David Maysles. Kind of the second part of a strange ‘trilogy’ of films about Edith "Big Edie" Ewing Bouvier Beale and her daughter Edith "Little Edie" Bouvier Beale, the aunt and first cousin of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. I mentioned last week about the original documentary, Grey Gardens, by the Maysles, and the recent dramatization, also titled, Grey Gardens, starring Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore (so go back and read that in the Newsletter Archives if you missed it.). Well, this film is another doco that was put together by the original directors from the footage that was left over from the first movie! Another incredible film composed of just out-takes.
What I’m Listening to This Week . . . .
Portrait of a Voice – combination CD and DVD about legendary counter-tenor, ALFRED DELLER. Not only rare performance footage, but Deller also speaks extensively on how he developed his unique head voice as he calls it. Also some candid footage of the Deller Consort sitting around a table rehearsing. A capella madrigal harmony singing that will make your mouth drop open.
National Penis Day
How could we have missed it? March 15 was Penis Day in Japan. The actual festival is called Honen Matsuri. Celebrated every March 15 in Komaki, a town about 45 minutes north of Nagoya, Japan, this is the time of year where folks haul out a large wooden penis to give three cheers to fertility and renewal. The custom is an old one that is connected to bringing about a good harvest and having babies.
http://www.sardouzami.com/goonagoon/rooze%20kir/national%20penis%20dag.htm
(thanks to MELOSHINS)
(Note: I don’t think the following fellow will be celebrating:
Man Cuts Off Penis in Protest
A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family, police reported Sunday.
After unsuccessfully petitioning his father for two years to marry the girl, the man heated up a knife and sliced off his reproductive organ, said a police official.
The young man came from a prominent family in the southern Egyptian province of Qena, one of Egypt's poorest and most conservative areas that is also home to the famed ancient Egyptian ruins of Luxor. The man was rushed to the hospital but doctors were unable to reattach the severed member, the official added citing the police report filed after the incident.
The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorised to speak with the press, added that the man was still recovering in the hospital.
Traditionally, marriages in these conservative part of southern Egypt are between similar social classes and often within the same extended families and are rarely for love.
~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~
Poco Dolce Chocolates
Italian for ‘little sweet’ Poco Dolce’s mission is to stay on the savory side of sweet.
http://www.pocodolce.com/
RECIPE
Joe’s Pasta Fagioli with Cavalo Nero
(Pasta Fagioli with Ham Hock and Tuscan Black Cabbage)
This is a love-child recipe of mine between traditional pasta fagioli and African-American soulfood hocks and greens. The copious salt, black pepper and red chili flakes make this dish rocket-fuel to the tongue!
ingredients:
1 third of a smoked ham hock (ask the butcher to cut it and use the other sections for something else)
400 gm red beans, cooked (or canned)
200 gm rigatoni pasta
400 gm tomatoes, parboiled, peeled and chopped (or canned)
Bunch of black cabbage, washed and cut into thirds
1 stick of celery, diced finely
1 carrot, diced finely
1 onion, diced finely
1 clove of garlic, chopped
1 bay leaf
1 teas red chili flakes
2 teas salt
1 teas freshly ground pepper
1 cup white wine
Cold-pressed olive oil
Cook the rigatoni in boiling water until al dente, drain, put a little olive oil on it to keep it from sticking and set aside.
Heat some olive oil in a pan and make a sofrito of the carrot, celery and onion, frying until soft. Add the white wine and cook for a minute or two until alcohol burns off. Add the ham hock, bay leaf and enough water to cover. Bring to boil, reduce to simmer, cover and cook for about an hour until the liquid reduces by about half. Add the tomatoes, black cabbage, garlic, red chili flakes, salt and pepper and simmer covered for fifteen minutes. Add the beans and continue simmering another fifteen minutes or so until the cabbage is tender. Add the al dente pasta and heat thoroughly. Check for seasoning. Serve with a grating of parmesan cheese.
ANNE FRANK HUIS
Even now, after twice her lifetime of grief
and anger in the very place, whoever comes
to climb these narrow stairs, discovers how
the bookcase slides aside, then walks through
shadow into sunlit rooms, can never help
but break her secrecy again. Just listening
is a kind of guilt: the Westerkirk repeats
itself outside, as if all time worked round
towards her fear, and made each stroke
die down on guarded streets. Imagine it—
three years of whispering and loneliness
and plotting, day by day, the Allied line
in Europe with a yellow chalk. What hope
she had for ordinary love and interest
survives her here, displayed above the bed
as pictures of her family; some actors;
fashions chosen by Princess Elizabeth.
And those who stoop to see them find
not only patience missing its reward,
but one enduring wish for chances
like my own: to leave as simply
as I do, and walk at ease
up dusty tree-lined avenues, or watch
a silent barge come clear of bridges
settling their reflections in the blue canal.
~ Andrew Motion ~
Secret Narratives
(Edinburgh: The Salamander Press, 1983)
THE FINAL HURRAH
HAVING A BAD DAY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBgLvN10ufA
(thanks to Ian Thompson)