JOE DOLCE NEWSLETTER
Home, CV, Press, Recordings, Newsletter Archive, Recipes, Contact
Friday May 22nd, 2009
Trying to Embrace the Reflection
"Power does not corrupt men;
fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power."
George Bernard Shaw
Hi folks,
I saw the movie, ‘Elegy,’ this week, about an older man, played by Ben Kingsley, and his love for a woman 30 years younger than himself, played by Penelope Cruz. Now I like Penelope Cruz. She is beautiful, of course, but also a fine actress and has made some memorable films - Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Gothika, Don't Move, Woman on Top and the early Almodóvar films in Spanish. I also like Gandhiji. ‘Elegy,’ has gotten rave reviews. So what did I think? Yawn. Same ol’ same ol’. For Penelope Cruz, for her to be attracted to this creepy old character, I though, ‘Man – is she a good actress!’ And for Ben Kingsley, I thought, ‘The lucky bastahd – just to be offered this role!’ Kingsley’s character said one thing, however, that stuck in my mind, and that I’ve heard before: something about although he was old - in his thoughts and self-image, he still thought of himself the same way as he used to – he still thought of himself as young.
I think that there is a serious mistake in deluding oneself like this. The obvious significant difference now is that the older person has the experience and control gained through many years – the very things he didn’t have when he was young – and the very things that made him vulnerable and open back then. The deeper chemistry dynamic has changed. The older person might think they are still thinking like younger people – but the difference is now the addition of experience, power and control. And that makes all the difference. The father-daughter dynamic is always straining at the bit just under the surface in these dramas. Having several daughters around this age, I always find these scenarios uncomfortable. The first thing I always think of: does this older person have any children of his own, particularly older girls, that he has watched grow up and that he is very close to? The answer is almost always: No. Like I said, a surrogate father-daughter relationship, with bad wiring.
There’s a new documentary out about Polish director, Roman Polanski, called, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. It specifically focuses on the infamous court case where Polanski was charged with unlawful sex with a thirteen year old minor in a hot tub at Jack Nicholson’s house. While it’s clear to any thinking and morally responsible person that Polanski’s behaviour was illegal and in the wrong - the WAY that this case was conducted - by the media-obsessed judge, Laurence J. Rittenband, who also had a penchant for much younger women - leading to Polanski fleeing the country rather than facing prison, was also intolerably wrong. So wrong, in fact, that both Polanski’s lawyer AND the lawyer for the young girl, joined forces to have Judge Rittenband removed from the case!
http://www.cinematical.com/2008/01/20/sundance-review-roman-polanski-wanted-and-desired/
Probably most of you are familiar with the story about rock and roller, Jerry Lee Lewis, marrying his thirteen-year old cousin, Myra Gale Brown, in 1957. But you might not be aware that this was his third marriage! Back in those days, terms like ‘cradle snatcher’ or ‘jailbait’ were used, rather than the current terms which are ‘pedophile,’ ‘pervert’ and ‘statutory rape’. His young cousin-bride, Myra Gale Brown, told the press that fifteen wasn't too young to marry back home: "You can marry at 10 if you can find a husband." Hot damn, Ellie Mae – pass the french fried pertaters!
http://oldies.about.com/od/rockabill1/f/jerryleemyra.htm
Elvis Presley, about to depart for the Army -- who would soon fall in love with a fourteen year old girl himself, when he was 24, back in 1959 -- told reporters that if Jerry Lee and Myra Gale were in love with each other, it was all right with him. Although Elvis didn’t actually marry Priscilla until 1967, it is alleged that he slept with her, from the second date onwards, during the two years he dated her in Germany. (Reference: Child Bride: The Untold Story of Priscilla Beaulieu Presley, by Suzanne Finstad.)
In the USA, The Mann Act of 1910, which is still in force, was originally passed to stop white slavers and the transportation of prostitutes across state lines, but was unfortunately, also often misused, for personal and political reasons, as in the case of black boxer, Jack Johnson. Here’s a song I wrote about: JACK JOHNSON AND THE MANN ACT
http://members.iinet.net.au/~dwomen/files/IreneLyrics.html#anchor1861923
Other notable examples of the application of The Mann Act:
- Chuck Berry invited a 14-year-old Apache waitress whom he met in Mexico to work as a hat check girl at his club. After being fired from the club, the girl was arrested on a prostitution charge and Berry was arrested under the Mann Act. After a trial and retrial, Berry was convicted, fined $5,000, and sentenced to five years in prison.
- Charlie Chaplin was prosecuted in 1944, by Federal authorities for Mann Act charges related to his involvement with actress Joan Barry. Chaplin was acquitted of the charges, but the trial permanently damaged his public image in the US.
- Canadian author Elizabeth Smart described being arrested under the Mann Act in 1940 when crossing a state border with her lover, the British poet George Barker, in her book By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept. She memorably intertwined the callous police interrogation under this law with quotations about love from the Song of Songs.
In Australia, there is no Mann Act, as such, but there is the Federal Anti-Slavery Law of 1999, which has lately been used to try to halt the illegal trafficking of women from Asia into the country for prostitution. There is also the ANTI-SLAVERY PROJECT, sponsored by the Community Law Centre at the University of Technology, Sydney, which provides direct assistance to trafficked and enslaved persons. The ASP is dedicated to eliminating slavery in all of its forms through a range of direct service and advocacy programs aimed at ending violence, exploitation and injustice.
http://www.antislavery.org.au/index.html
IX
the moon is
breathing gently
on the pillow
next to me
at last!
for the past hour,
it has been crying
like a baby.
now, at least
one of us
is getting
some sleep.
~ Joe Dolce ~
X Moons
FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK
Hey Joe!
I love your song words...'Orpheo, Don't Look Back’ and the poems from Carol Ann Duffy, especially Mrs Midas.....exquisite...
What I'm reading: "No Destination" by Satish Kumar,"Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson & Oliver Relin
What I'm Listening to: "Thermals: Sonic Carousels" by Kiln, "Des Del Silencia" by Ektal Ensemble, anything by Dave Frishberg
"Nana Caymmi Vol 2" etc...... Great newsletter including links to caring and works of goodness....Love & Gratitude, Wildflower
Joe,
thanks for the bloody caesar recipe for all to see. i believe the province of alberta has mounted a campaign to make it canada's national drink, as well it should be!
delicious! refreshing! for many years, my band was frequently in nashville. on our very first trip there, we realised on a night out that they did not know what bloody caesars were! and yet, one could get clamato juice at any market! so we went and got some and brought it with us when we went out for a drink. i don't know if they caught on permanently there, but whilst we were there, they did...
there's an advert on canadian tv where a guy tried to quietly make one bloody caesar indoors at an outdoor party. but he's caught, and then everyone wants one, and he has to spend the whole rest of the party making caesars. that's exactly what happens. whenever people see someone having one, everybody wants one! i like lots of lime in mine sometimes instead of lemon. and we like to put a bit of good horseradish in ours as well... i want one now!!!!! Hic, Joan Besen
Hi Joe,
I meant to send this a couple of weeks ago when you mentioned a fractured version of the Pythagorean Theorem. Just as likely you've come across it before - I first heard it at least 40 years ago but it can probably stand a re-run by now. I always enjoy reading the newsletter, don't know how you find the time to keep up with it but I'm sure it's appreciated by a lot of people.
Regards, Don Morrison.
The Pythagorean Theorem Revisited
There were once three brothers, sons of an American Indian chief. As the years passed they grew into fine young braves and in turn each took squaw to be his wife.
When the oldest brother married he went off onto the wide Prairie and killed a buffalo. He brought the hide back to the settlement and had it turned into a handsome
sleeping mat for himself and his new wife who subsequently became pregnant and in time gave birth to a boy child.
At about that same time the second brother took a beautiful wife and wanting to out-do his older brother he went off way beyond the wide Prairie to the distant snow-capped mountains and killed a huge bear. He brought the hide back to the settlement and had it turned into a wonderful sleeping mat for himself and his new wife who subsequently became pregnant and in time gave birth to twins, both girls.
At about that same time the third brother took a beautiful wife and wanting to out-do both his older brothers he went off way beyond the wide Prairie and over the distant
snow-capped mountains and much, much further in a far away country he killed a hippopotamus.
Of course he brought the hide back to his own settlement and had it turned into a huge sleeping mat for himself and his new wife who subsequently became pregnant and
in time gave birth to triplets, a boy and two girls.
By now you're probably wondering what all this means, so I'll tell you. It only goes to prove that:
"The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides."
Joe,
A tale About Shaduppa Your Face
Hope you're well.
Yesterday I went to the Gardenview Rehabilitation centre in Royal Park. The centre is attached to Royal Melbourne Hospital and has 24 patients at any one
time, all of whom have acquired brain trauma - some due to accidents, others due to strokes or heart attacks. One young man was king hit by a stranger while out
celebrating his eighteenth birthday. I was there because I am writing an article which begins with an accident I had about 10 weeks ago in Shepparton. I was on
my way back to the motel at night when I stepped in front of a van - to cut the story short - I was very lucky it seems - rushed to hospital by ambulance, but
came out of it with concussion, a few weeks of nausea and imbalance, some stitches - but I am basically okay. I wanted to see 'what could have been.' It
is confronting to see what the trauma involves, but there were unexpected surprises about the incredible work that people do. This is where you come in. I
met an extraordinary women, Dolly, a force of nature, a big broad hearted soul, with a great heart, who works as the 'diversional therapist' in Gardenview. She
calls herself 'the fun person.' She does amazing things with the patients. One of them is a music session every Tuesday which always concludes with a rousing
version of 'Shaduppa your face.' When I told her I knew Joe Dolce and would see if he might be able to visit and sing the song in person she was overwhelmed.
So, is it possible? I told her you were busy etc, but what do you think? It would be amazing just to meet Dolly and see what she does. If you're interested,
I will get the ball rolling. Maybe also come on the day. Keep the stories coming, Warm wishes, Arnold Zable
(Note: Rebbe, I’m happy to hear you are still among the Laughing. First Stephen King and now you. Gevalt! Don’t scare us like that! You’re liable to inspire a series of ‘Why Did the Writer Cross the Road?’ jokes. Of course, I will be glad to come and sing ‘Shaddap You Face’ as long as you help out with the ‘heys! Or ‘oi vays’ as it were. I have always been a strong advocate of humour in healing, inspired by doctors like Norman Cousins, in his book, Anatomy of an Illness, who developed a recovery program, including laughter induced by Marx Brothers films. Dealing with his own crippling arthritis, he said: "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval." I also had the good fortune to meet an American doctor named Patch Adams, founder of the ‘Gesundheit Institute’ - part of Ian Gawler’s network of alternative healers – when he spoke in Melbourne. Later on, Robin Williams starred in a movie about his life, which unfortunately didn’t get across the true genius of his vision: http://www.patchadams.org/en
Here’s something from Walter Stark from another section of the Laughter Ward of The Great Hospital:
‘ The Queen is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. She enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one. The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."
Ma'am is confused, so she just nods and moves on to the next patient. The patient greets her:
"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."
Even more confused, her usual "gracious smile" now more mask-like than ever, her Majesty moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty, O whit a panic’s in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle."
Now seriously troubled, her Majesty turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, ''Is this a psychiatric ward?'
'No,' replies the doctor, ''this is the serious Burns unit.'
Church Ready to Punish Rebel Qld Priest
Rebel priest Father Peter Kennedy may soon be dismissed from the priesthood, but he says he will continue to conduct services regardless.
Fr Kennedy has ignored two official letters from the Archbishop of Brisbane John Bathersby demanding he stop conducting services or face penalties, "not excluding dismissal from the clerical state".
The priest has been involved in a long-running dispute with the Brisbane archdiocese, which sacked him as administrator of St Mary's for engaging in unorthodox practices, such as having a Buddhist statue in the church and allowing women to preach the homily.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5572025
President Obama’s Notre Dame Speech
Excerpt:
“ We must seek peace at a time when there are those who will stop at nothing to do us harm, and when weapons in the hands of a few can destroy the many. And we must find a way to reconcile our ever-shrinking world with its ever-growing diversity - diversity of thought, of culture, and of belief. In short, we must find a way to live together as one human family.
It is this last challenge that I'd like to talk about today. For the major threats we face in the 21st century - whether it's global recession or violent extremism; the spread of nuclear weapons or pandemic disease - do not discriminate. They do not recognize borders. They do not see color. They do not target specific ethnic groups.
Moreover, no one person, or religion, or nation can meet these challenges alone. Our very survival has never required greater cooperation and understanding among all people from all places than at this moment in history.
Unfortunately, finding that common ground - recognizing that our fates are tied up, as Dr. King said, in a "single garment of destiny" - is not easy. Part of the problem, of course, lies in the imperfections of man - our selfishness, our pride, our stubbornness, our acquisitiveness, our insecurities, our egos; all the cruelties large and small that those of us in the Christian tradition understand to be rooted in original sin. We too often seek advantage over others. We cling to outworn prejudice and fear those who are unfamiliar. Too many of us view life only through the lens of immediate self-interest and crass materialism; in which the world is necessarily a zero-sum game. The strong too often dominate the weak, and too many of those with wealth and with power find all manner of justification for their own privilege in the face of poverty and injustice. And so, for all our technology and scientific advances, we see around the globe violence and want and strife that would seem sadly familiar to those in ancient times. (full speech)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/17/obama-notre-dame-speech-f_n_204387.html
Critics Blast Obama's Scheduled Notre Dame Commencement Address
Foxnews
Nearly 65,000 people have signed an online petition protesting President Obama's scheduled May 17 commencement address at the University of Notre Dame, saying the president's views on abortion and stem cell research "directly contradict" Roman Catholic teachings. (article)
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/03/24/critics-blast-obamas-notre-dame-commencement-address/
Response to Notre Dame Speech and Critics, by Sister Joan Chittister
“Yes, I know, I know. At least according to the media and the anti-abortion movement, President Obama's presence at Notre Dame University in South Bend, Indiana as graduation speaker and recipient of an honorary degree, was all about abortion. Except that it wasn't.
The speech was not about abortion at all. It was about lots of Catholic things -- if Catholics will only remember them -- but it was not about the morality or ultimate moral meaning of abortion at all. It was, in fact, more about the model of a Jesus who could talk to Roman soldiers and Samaritan women, to Pharisees and to adulterers with respect and with care. It was a recall of the Jesus who refused to condemn either the Roman emperor or his soldiers. It was also a call, at least indirectly, to the next generation to "put down their swords," to stop calling their opposite numbers -- those who seek to make abortion unnecessary than to criminalize it -- "murderers" and to listen to one another. No small graduation speech.
Essential to the process, Obama insisted, was the willingness not to demonize those who hold faith-based positions different from ours, to realize their own sincerity, to take their positions as seriously as our own. The speech was a breath of fresh air after living through an administration that fed on -- thrived on -- enemies and hate, that practiced ruthless partisanship in a pluralistic society, that chose party politics over the common needs of the country, that talked about "new crusades" and "terrorists" rather than attempt to relate to the needs and frustrations and ideals of peoples from whom such violence emerged, that chose ill-designed wars over the alliances necessary to marginalize such extremists even from their own.” (full speech)
http://www.nowpublic.com/culture/response-notre-dame-speech-sister-joan-chittister
What I’m Reading This Week
The Unsuspecting Sky – poems by Carolyn Fisher.
What I’m Watching This Week
Don’t Look Back – directed by Nicholas Roeg, with Donald Sutherland. And Julie Christie.
The Thing – produced by Howard Hawkes. Original 1951 version with James (Gunsmoke) Arness as the creature.
Elegy – with Ben Kinglsey and Penelope Cruz. (see notes above.)
Dr Zhivago – with Omar Sharif and Julie Christie.
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
‘Where www means ‘Wretched Writers Welcome.”
Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. Each entry must consist of a single sentence but you may submit as many entries as you wish. (One guy once submitted over 3,000 entries.)
Some samples:
‘ Paul Revere had just discovered that someone in Boston was a spy for the British, and when he saw the young woman believed to be the spy's girlfriend in an Italian restaurant he said to the waiter, "Hold the spumoni--I'm going to follow the chick an' catch a Tory."’ --John L. Ashman, Houston, Texas (1995 Winner)
‘On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet-paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained. ‘ Rephah Berg, Oakland CA (2002 Winner)
‘As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.’Dan McKay, Fargo, ND (2005 Winner)
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
THE BAD SEX IN FICTION AWARD
This is an annual award presented by the Literary Review, in the UK. The award itself is in the form of a "semi-abstract trophy representing sex in the 1950s", which depicts a naked woman draped over an open book. Here an example of some of the writing:
“ She had on no knickers, and my heart went crash-bang-wallop and my eyes popped out. She hadn't shaved, and her fanny looked like a tropical fish or a bit of old carpet.”
From Apples, by Richard Milward (Faber) p 179
‘I find it clichéd when couples insist that they have "the perfect fit," but between the busted-up, zigzag, Broadway boogie-woogie of my maligned purple khui and the all-encompassing nature of her Caspian pizda, we reached a third way, as it were.’
From Absurdistan by Gary Shteyngart (Granta) p201
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2007/nov/27/awardsandprizes.badsexaward/print
Petition to Free Aung San Suu Kyi
Over 200,000 of us have signed the petition to free Aung San Suu Kyi and there's only 6 days left to act - let's send the email below to all our friends and family:
Dear Friends,
After 13 years of detention, Nobel Peace Laureate Aung San Suu Kyi has been jailed again on trumped up charges by the brutal Burmese regime. Call on UN Secretary General to secure her and all political prisoners' release:
Burma's democracy leader and Nobel Peace prize winner, Aung San Suu Kyi, has been locked up on new trumped up charges, just days before her 13 years of detention was due to expire. She and thousands of fellow monks and students have been imprisoned for bravely challenging the brutal military regime with peaceful calls for democracy.
Risking danger to speak out for their jailed friends, Burmese activists are demanding the release of Aung San Suu Kyi and all political prisoners and calling on the world to help. We have just six days to get a flood of petition signatures to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon calling on him to make their release a top priority -- he can make this a condition for renewed international engagement. Follow the link to sign the petition, and forward this email on to friends to ensure Aung San Suu Kyi and all political prisoners are freed. Burmese activists will present the global petition to the media on May 26th:
http://www.avaaz.org/en/free_aung_san_suu_kyi
(thanks to Terry Dwyer)
NO ASIANS
See what is becoming of our beloved country.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YM9Ereg2Zo
(thanks to Andrew Bicknell)
Also from Andrew:
SWEET GEORGIA BROWN
(with tractor percussion and solo)
http://fschnell.net/WordPress/?p=1094%5C
~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~
Club Dolce
The newly opened Club Dolce is heating things up on 122 West Church Street, Orando, Florida
http://orlando.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/photogallery/club-dolce/213448/content
RECIPE
Salmon with Agrodolce Sauce
This classic Italian sauce, with its combination of balsamic vinegar and a touch of sugar, lends deep sweetness and a hit of acidity to the meaty sautéed fish.
Yield: Makes 4 servings
3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
4 (6-ounce) salmon fillets (1 inch thick) with skin
2 medium red onions (about 1 pound total), each cut into 8 wedges
2/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat until hot. Pat salmon dry and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper, then cook, skin side up, until undersides form a golden crust, 12 to 15 minutes. Turn fish over and cook until just cooked through, about 3 minutes more.
Meanwhile, heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat until it shimmers, then sauté onions until golden brown and crisp-tender, 6 to 8 minutes. Stir in vinegar, sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon salt and cook until sauce is syrupy, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in butter.
Spoon onions with sauce onto plates and top with salmon, skin side down.
(thanks to Melissa Roberts, Gourmet)
The River-Merchant's Wife
While my hair was still cut straight across my forehead
I played about the front gate, pulling flowers.
You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse,
You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums.
And we went on living in the village of Chokan:
Two small people, without dislike or suspicion.
At fourteen I married My Lord you.
I never laughed, being bashful.
Lowering my head, I looked at the wall.
Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back.
At fifteen I stopped scowling,
I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
Forever and forever and forever.
Why should I climb the look out?
At sixteen you departed,
You went into far Ku-to-en, by the river of swirling eddies,
And you have been gone five months.
The monkeys make sorrowful noise overhead.
You dragged your feet when you went out.
By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses,
Too deep to clear them away!
The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind.
The paired butterflies are already yellow with August
Over the grass in the West garden;
They hurt me. I grow older.
If you are coming down through the narrows of the river Kiang,
Please let me know beforehand,
And I will come out to meet you
As far as Cho-fu-Sa.
~ Li Po ~
(translated by Ezra Pound, 1914.
Li Po was a 6th century Chinese poet said to have drowned
in the Yangtze River, having fallen from a boat
while drunkenly trying to embrace the reflection of the moon.)
THE FINAL HURRAH
Gennaro's Leather Shoes
Gennaro walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.
Each day, he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather
shoes. He wants those shoes so much it's all he can think about. After
about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases
them.
Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church
basement. Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli
leather shoes, for the first time.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her,
"Sophia, do you wear-a red panties tonight?"
Startled, Sophia replies, "Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, but how did you know?"
Gennaro answers, "I see-a the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like?"
Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks,
"Rosa, do you wear-a white panties tonight?"
Rosa answers, "Yes, Gennaro, I do, but how do you know that?"
He replies, "I see-a the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like?"
Now, as the evening is almost over, and the last song is being played,
Gennaro asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns
red. Excited, he speaks with an accent:
"Carmela, you still-a my heart, please tell-a me you wear-a no panties tonight, please, please, tella me its-a true!"
Carmela smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight."
Gennaro gasps, "Thanka God, I thought I had a CRACK-a in my $300 Boccelli leathera shoes!
(thanks to Andrew Bicknell)
