The picture above is of me with Molly Meldrum's
hat. I just did a press call for the Herald-Sun with Leo
Sayer, Daryl Braithwaite, Brian Mannix, Steven Cummings, Tottie
Goldsmith and a few of the other artists I'm touring with on the
upcoming Countdown Spectacular Tour, and Molly couldn't
make it to the photo shoot so he sent along his hat. On my insistence,
Leo Sayer posed for a couple of shots in it. It was remarkable.
As soon as he put it on, he looked like a hobbit version of Molly.
I got a chance to examine this legendary hat close up. (It was
tres funky inside.) One of my goals is to get a photo of Molly
on this tour with his hat off. So I'm getting closer.
This week I also will be working with Cindy
Sheehan at the Unity for Peace Conference, where I
am performing a few songs with my partner Lin Van Hek. Last night
I sang at the Unity for Peace Public Meeting at RMIT where
I shared a stage with Dr Salam Ismael, founder of Doctors
for Iraq, Greens senator, Kerry Nettle, and of course
Cindy Sheehan whom I was fortunate enough to sit next to.
I am so impressed by strong women like Cindy who take public non-violent
anti-war positions. Why? Because it is extra hard for women to
promote non-violence and peace. The reason being: it comes precariously
close to 'victimisation', - just standing there and letting someone
lay into you, and threatening your children - without striking
back. (This is NOT something that someone with a Sicilian-Calabrian
background just falls into either, folks!)
Passive victimisation of women is one of the things that feminism
has sought to expose and change for decades. Mary Daly
wrote this: ' . . . the qualities Christianity idealises especially
for women are also those of a victim: sacrificial love, passive
acceptance of suffering, humility, meekness, etc.'
Yet and still, non-violent activist Lynne Shiver
adds: 'There are two parts of the issue of sacrifice. The first
(what might be asked by feminists) asks: "Am I free to make
a sacrifice of my own choice or am I forced to make a sacrifice
that men decide for me?" '
So how does a peace-loving gal tell the difference?
[Don't ask me. I'm a man. I'm part of the friggin' historical
problem.] The person to go read and study is the
great non-violent lesbian activist, BARBARA DEMING. (That's
her on the right in the photo below.) One of my
heroes. Deming marched with Martin Luther King Jr and wrote some
of the most profound theory on non-violence ever. Ideas that have
changed the way I think. Deming said: '...the challenge to
those who believe in non- violent struggle is to learn to be aggressive
enough. Non-violence has for too long been connected in (our)
minds with the notion of passivity. . . I would substitute another
word here [though] and re-name aggression: self-assertion.'
The literal meaning of aggression is: 'approaching'.
Wilhem Reich refers to musculature, the system of motion
and locomotion if: '. . aggressive sexuality' or more accurately,
self-assertion, is blocked from gratification, the urge to obtain
gratification remains . . . the impulse to obtain it by all possible
means - the aggressive tone begins to drown out the tone of love
. . . aggression becomes pleasurable as such. In this way, sadism
arises. The loss of the real love aim results in hatred. One hates
most when one is prevented from loving or being loved . . . '
Coretta Scott King
Here is a show this Sunday afternoon you might
enjoy if you are in the neighbourhood -
HARMONY ROW VINEYARD,
PIPERS CREEK, VIC. - This Sunday, May 28th. Performing with LIN
VAN HEK, in our literary-folk women-centred cabaret, DIFFICULTWOMEN,
(and also an opening solo set), lunch and show. See WEBSITE
for more specifics.
(Note: The mighty Adelaide Celtic rock band, THE
BORDERERS, with be performing at Harmony Row, the week after
us, on Sunday June 4th. More details next week - but for further
information, see the above website.)
FAVOURITE READER LETTERS OF THE WEEK
Love the site and your newsletters and would apreciate being added
to your mailing list. Have sent other emails in the hope
of enrolment in the Dolce school of disgruntled song-smiths but
to no avail. Hope this gets me onboard? Steve
(Note: All Aboarrrrrrrrd!!!!)
Re: Countdown Spectacular Tour
Will Jane Clifton be there with 'Girl In the Mirror'? I
love that song!! saluti, Carmelina
(Note: No, I don't think Jane is on the bill this time
- but I could sing you, 'I Saw Your Face in the Bottom of my
Chianti Bottle.' Would that do?)
Q: Why are violas larger than violins?
A: [you said] They aren't. Violists' heads are smaller.... [no
Joe......violinists heads are BIGGER!!!]
And its EASY to tell that a singer is at the
door because they can't find the key and don't know when to come
in. love ya work, kate xxxxxooOoooxxx
(Note: Kate, sweetheart, a bunch of little pecky xxxx
kisses, with a lot of little circle kisses and a sloppy big round
bottom-feeder blind eel sucker kiss in the middle to you, too.
Here's some more work to thrill you:)
Q: How do you make a double bass sound in-tune?
A: Chop it up and make it into a xylophone
Subject: Old Diggers
Phillip Frazer here. Sorry you missed my birthday party
but Austin was probably even more fun . . . As the
bloke who started The Digger, Australia's counterculture
magazine in the 1970s, I find myself in possession of just two
copies of the dear old rag. We -- a shifting collective
of culture types, commies, feminists and bitzers -- published
over 40 issues of The Digger between 72 and 76, and if
anyone has any of them I'd love to beg, borrow or buy some.
I'll be in Melbourne during the writers festival late August but
anyone with a Digger to offer could contact me in New York at:
"Come Out of the White House with Your Hands Up!"
Did you see this gorgeous inspired headline Joe?
Omigod I wish I'd written that! Cheers, Mac H
(Note: Mac is referring to ex-Bush Administration insider,
Morgan Reynolds, berating top administration and military officials
for the 9/11 inside job at an enthusiastic standing-room-only
crowd for the Wisconsin Historical Society.) article
Top Rejected Action Hero Catch Phrases
"I'll be back. As long as I'm going, do you want
anything from the Body Shop?"
about to give you one more reason to vote for universal health
just messed with the wrong motivational speaker, my friend!"
THE RELIGIOUS LEFT
Religious Liberals Gain New Visibility
By Caryle Murphy and Alan Cooperman
The religious left is back. Long overshadowed
by the Christian right, religious liberals across a wide swath
of denominations are engaged today in their most intensive bout
of political organizing and allianc -building since the civil
rights and anti-Vietnam War movements of the 1960s, according
to scholars, politicians and clergy members. In large part, the
revival of the religious left is a reaction against conservatives'
success in the 2004 elections in equating moral values with opposition
to abortion and same-sex marriage. Religious liberals say their
faith compels them to emphasize such issues as poverty, affordable
health care and global warming. Disillusionment with the war in
Iraq and opposition to Bush administration policies on secret
prisons and torture have also fueled the movement. (article)
FAVOURITE REVIEWS OF THE WEEK
got both the Joe Dolce [Christmas] album and the "We Are
the World" album (and they're both pretty good, actually.)"
"Wasn't his story that he made a fortune from the
single and financed his own LP and lost the lot?" -- Brigadier
(Note: Hey hey hey! What's this 'lost the lot' crap?
That's how much you know, Mr Brigadier Know-It-All. I didn't lose
anything. I'm still making hundreds of dollars a year. I'm a multi-thousandaire
several times over. Anyway, I prefer to look at it as 'investing
in myself - with a gain to be realized at a later date.' Or another
way: 'You makes your deposit in the Northside but you takes your
withdrawal from the Southside.')
"Microsoft has chosen the name "Vienna"
for the version of Windows due after Vista. Children of the 1980s
or earlier will of course immediately recall the thumping pop
smash of the same name by Midge Ure's old band, Ultravox. The
group's magnum opus Vienna was of course famously kept
off the coveted number one spot in the hit parade by novelty act
(note: ouch!) Joe Dolce singing
(if it can be called singing (note: double ouch!) Shaddap a Your Face. "What's a matter
you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey! It's a terrible song. Hey! Ah
shaddup a your face" etc, etc. No doubt open source aficionados
will already be planning a version of Linux codenamed, 'Shaddap
You Face,' for 2008." IT Week
(Note: All I have to say to this peckerheaded geek,
in the nicest possible way, is: 'Ah Shaddap-a You Interface!'
- See the next story, probably about his dad.)
Revealed: The identity of the BBC's latest
A computer expert has described his astonishment
at seeing the BBC's 24-hour news channel interview supposed taxi
driver Guy Goma in the mistaken belief it was him. Guy Kewney
- a white, bearded technology expert - was astonished to see himself
appear on screen as a black man with an apparent French accent.
He was even more shocked to see himself unable to answer basic
questions about the legal battle between the Beatles' Apple Corps
and Apple Computer over the use of an apple symbol. Mr Kewney,
an IT journalist, watched as Mr Goma, whose identity remained
a mystery until it was revealed on Monday night by the BBC, gamely
attempted to answer questions fired at him by BBC consumer affairs
correspondent Karen Bowerman. Mr Goma, a graduate from the Congo,
described his surprise interview ordeal as "very stressful".
He found himself being ushered into a studio and fitted with a
microphone after raising his hand when a producer called out the
name Guy Kewney.
On his website, the real Mr Kewney, said that the man "seemed
as baffled as I felt" when asked about the consequences of
the lawsuit live on BBC News 24. It is unclear why Mr Goma identified
himself when Mr Kewney's named was called. Only when Ms Bowerman
announced live on air the name and title of the man who should
have been there and asked the first question did the driver realise
there had been a mix-up. A BBC spokeswoman said: "Unfortunately
we did make a mistake and the wrong person was interviewed briefly
on air before we cut to our reporter. "We apologise to viewers
for any confusion." Read the transcript of the interview
(Note: This is FUNNY! You can read the transcript of
the interview and even watch it online. Note the poor guy's look
of horror when they introduce him as Mr Kewney. He was just a
London cabdriver there to make a pickup. But he still struggles
to answer the questions the best he can. Man, someone give this
guy a sandwich. You recall, the sharp-shooting BBC also started
the widespread, and ultimately false rumour, that 'Shaddap
You Face' had been voted the Worst Song in History
(from a sampling of about 100 brain-dead and ecstasy addled 17
year old late-night listeners, no doubt) and also that The
Beatles were voted Worst Album in History with 'Sgt
Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band.' Uh Huh! Probably be awarding
the Two Fat Ladies, the Annual Vegetarian of the Year Award
and Tony Blair, the Iraq Peace Prize and Large Penis Award,
George W. Bush Monument Committee
I have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise
$5,000,000 for a monument of George W. Bush. We originally wanted
to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough
room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of George
in the Washington D. C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as
to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place
it beside the statue of George Washington who never told a lie
or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since George
could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher
Columbus, the Greatest Republican of them all. He left not knowing
where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where
he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it
all on someone else's money.
George W. Bush Monument Committee
(thanks to Joy Holloway and Dai Woosnam)
Pass the Bread
by Bill Moyers
(Text of Baccalaureate Address, Hamilton
College, Clinton, NY)
I will make this brief because I know you have
much to do between now and your farewell to Hamilton tomorrow,
and that you are eager to get out and enjoy this perfect day in
this glorious weather that somehow never gets mentioned in your
promotional and recruitment literature.
One of my closest friends and colleagues, David
Bate, graduated in 1938, and patriot that he is, headed right
for the U.S. Navy where he served throughout World War II. David's
father graduated from Hamilton in 1908 and two of his children
continued the tradition. I asked David what he learned at Hamilton
and he told me Hamilton is where you discover that being smart
has nothing to do with being warm and dry...Just kidding! Thank
you for inviting Judith and me to share this occasion with you.
Fifty years ago both of us turned the same corner you are turning
today and left college for the great beyond. Looking back across
half a century I wish our speaker at the time had said something
really useful--something that would have better prepared us for
what lay ahead. I wish he had said: "Don't Go."
So I have been thinking seriously about what
I might say to you in this Baccalaureate service. Frankly, I'm
not sure anyone from my generation should be saying anything to
your generation except, "We're sorry. We're really sorry
for the mess you're inheriting. We are sorry for the war in Iraq.
For the huge debts you will have to pay for without getting a
new social infrastructure in return. We're sorry for the polarized
country. The corporate scandals. The corrupt politics. Our imperiled
democracy. We're sorry for the sprawl and our addiction to oil
and for all those toxins in the environment. Sorry about all this,
class of 2006. Good luck cleaning it up." (article)
True Courtroom Tales
(This policeman was being cross-examined
by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying
to undermine the policeman's credibility...)
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed
a person matching the description of the offender, running several
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description
of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this
then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes
in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust
your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to
lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building
with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known
to walk through that room."
(The courtroom erupted in laughter, and
a prompt recess was called.)
- thanks again to Dai Woosnam.
. . . . CAUTION: You are about to enter . . . THE TWILIGHT
NO-SPIN ZONE . . . . .
MY NAME IS JOE DOLCE AND I'M A SCIENTOLOGIST
" I've used Scientology to help me be
successful in school. The Study Technology created by L. Ron Hubbard
helped me get my engineering degree, and my Masters degree in
computer science. I've met some really terrific people who are
Scientologists. We have the best times with Scientologists as
they REALLY know how to have FUN! " Joe Dolce WEBSITE
(Note: Wha???? Another Joe Dolce? Leave me alone! First
the gay editor of Playboy - then a Montana elk hunting tour guide.
I had this delusion for years that I was special. The ONLY Joe
Dolce. Guess not. THIS Joe Dolce is obviously manifesting a repressed
variation of the one we all know and love (a la Bizarro world)
- and payback time for all the 'reporting' I've done in previous
newsletters on Scientology. That could even mean that the next
iteration of Joe Dolce might even be this: MY NAME IS JOE DOLCE
AND I'M REALLY GEORGE W BUSH.)
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
Humanity is sitting on a ticking time bomb.
If the vast majority of the world's scientists are right, we have
just ten years to avert a major catastrophe that could send our
entire planet into a tail-spin of epic destruction involving extreme
weather, floods, droughts, epidemics and killer heat waves beyond
anything we have ever experienced.
If that sounds like a recipe for serious gloom
and doom -- think again. From director Davis Guggenheim comes
the Sundance Film Festival hit, AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH,
which offers a passionate and inspirational look at one man's
fervent crusade to halt global warming's deadly progress in its
tracks by exposing the myths and misconceptions that surround
it. That man is former Vice President Al Gore, who, in
the wake of defeat in the 2000 election, re-set the course of
his life to focus on a last-ditch, all-out effort to help save
the planet from irrevocable change. In this eye-opening and poignant
portrait of Gore and his "traveling global warming show,"
Gore also proves himself to be one of the most misunderstood characters
in modern American public life. Here he is seen as never before
in the media - funny, engaging, open and downright on fire about
getting the surprisingly stirring truth about what he calls our
"planetary emergency" out to ordinary citizens before
it's too late. website
Heather Mills McCartney Fact & Fiction
Have you noticed how the media is starting
to use the titles of Beatles songs to illustrate the recent break-up
between Heather Mills and Paul McCartney?
'Got to Get You Out of My Life'
'We Can't Work It Out'?
I can think of some others:
'All My Hating'
'All You Need Is Law'
'Bad Day Sunburn'
'Here, There and Get Out of Here'
'I Feel Unfine'
'I Don't Want To Hold Your Hand'
'Lucy in the Sky With Affidavids'
'She Came in Through the Courtroom Window'
(How many can you think of, boys and girls?)
To be fair, here's Heather's website
devoted to debunking the fiction on the various rumours. (Personally,
I'm on her side. I've always thought Paul was a suck.)
JOHN DEAN ON RICHARD NIXON
By Matthew Rothschild
(John Dean was Nixon's White House counsel for three years
and then testified against him. He is the author, most recently,
of "Worse Than Watergate: The Secret Presidency of George
Q: Tell me what your lasting impressions
are of Richard Nixon.
Dean: In a way, he's a comic figure.
In other ways, he's a tragic figure. I have a memory of a very
complex man locked in my synapses.
Q: How long did you work for him?
Dean: A thousand days. When you listen
to him on the tapes, he would be one person with his chief of
Staff Bob Haldeman, he'd be somebody else with Henry Kissinger,
he'd be somebody else with me. He had these different personae.
I don't think he ever had great administrative skills for the
Presidency. He was slow to interact with his staff. He was very
stiff. It was kind of like walking onto a set of an Oval Office
when I used to first go into see him. But later on I'd walk in
and he'd have his feet on the desk and he'd be talking to me around
his shoes. He was uneasy. In fact, one of the interesting things
about Nixon is that we had to prepare something called talking
papers for him. Anytime we brought someone in the office to meet
the President, because he had a zero gift of gab, you literally
had to have a few sentences, buzzwords, thoughts, so he could
start a conversation with this person. Alex Butterfield, who ushered
more people into the office than anybody else, told me that occasionally
if Nixon didn't have this he was literally speechless. (interview)
Pumpkin Seed Brittle
(Bright green organic pumpkin seeds in a sheet of amber crystalized
sugar brittle. This one is from the babe of the bain marie,
Nigella Lawson. We've been munching on this all week and it reeks
havoc with your teeth, but it tastes great and looks so elegant
that you just can't stop.)
250g castor sugar
1/4 teas cream of tartar (optional)
125g green organic pumpkin seeds
Place a piece of foil on a baking sheet and
Dissolve sugar, water and cream of tartar in saucepan over low
Bring mixture to boil but do not stir. Let syrup bubble, over
high heat, for about 10 minutes (watching it like a hawk!) until
it turns a golden amber colour. (DO NOT SPACE OUT as the syrup
can brown and burn in five seconds and then you have to start
over.) As soon as the extreme edges of the syrup begin to darken,
tip the pumpkin seeds into the syrup, swirl to coat evenly and
remove from heat. AT ONCE: pour the syrup onto the tin foil you
have prepared and immediately smooth as flat and even as you can
with a metal spatula. You will only have a minute to do this before
the syrup begins to harden, so work quickly.
Leave the brittle to cool and harden completely before breaking
(from 'Feast', by Nigella Lawson, Chatto & Windus)