Hello folks,
I hope your May Pole Day Celebrations weren't too slippery. (Do Italians do it with greasy poles?)
It's satisfying to be in the musical company of Johnny Cash
again. Recently, a country and western song I wrote ten years
before 'Shaddap You Face,' - called 'My Home Ain't In The Hall
of Fame,' - was recorded by US Texan songwriter, ROBERT EARL KEEN
JR, on his latest CD 'Gravitational Forces'. He only included
songs by three other songwriters on this album; the other two
were by Townes Van Zant and Big John.
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You know, if I was Queen Mother of Wagga Wagga, the first law
I would pass would be that only men over 35 would be sent to the
front line in war - the last ones to be sent up should be the
youth, who should instead be put through typing school, learn
office skills, handle the paperwork, dry cleaning uniforms, assist
the medics, all the unromantic jobs. (Therefore, all the kids'
video games in future would also have focus on these things so
the kids were ready, with their eye-hand co-ordination, ironing
board-to-eye ratios, and things like that.)
Because, by the time you are hitting 35, you probably NEED to
go through basic training, so it would be much harder on you but
it would give you a flat stomach and a free haircut. And also,
by that age one would assume that men already think for themselves
a little more and have become somewhat responsible (family, bills,
etc).
Rather than when, as boys, they are still young and immature,
some still live at home, most still think like lemmings, following
slender Captain Sausagehead around wherever he leads. It's a logical
extension (excuse moi le pun) to go from one dickhead to another
when you're young.
It also makes no sense to kill off the youth first as they are
the future, while thirty-five-year old men are starting to get
anxious about careers, younger women and losing their hair, anyway,
so no great loss.
Also, all politicians would have to be midgets, but that's
another argument.
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"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard
it. Do not believe simply because it has been handed down for
many generations. Do not believe in anything simply because it
is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply
because it is written in Holy Scriptures. Do not believe in anything
merely on the authority of teachers, elders or wise men. Believe
only after careful observation and analysis, when you find that
it agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit
of one and all. Then accept it and live up to it."
The Buddha, on Belief ,from the Kalama Sutra
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Veterans Against Iraq War is
a coalition of American veterans who support the troops but oppose
war with Iraq.
" Until and unless the current U.S. Administration provides
evidence which clearly demonstrates that Iraq or any other nation
poses a clear, direct and immediate danger to our country, we
oppose all of this Administration's pre-emptive and unilateral
military activities in Iraq. Furthermore, we cannot support any
war that is initiated without a formal Declaration of War by Congress,
as our Constitution requires. " (more)
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The Myth of the Spat-Upon Veteran
When the truth does not conform to political need, look out
for some spitting lies.
By Gabrielle Bernard The Voice News, Winsted, CT
Chad Barlow, in his impassioned support of war ( Some War Is Necessary, February 14) , repeats the myth that peace activists "SPAT ON our soldiers returning from Vietnam." It's a great story, but like many right-wing myths (e.g., the story of feminists burning bras), it is simply not true.
Jerry Lembcke, an associate professor of sociology at Holy
Cross College, did an exhaustive search in the process of writing
his 1998 book, The Spitting Image: Myth, Memory and the Legacy
of Vietnam. He found not a single case of a returning Vietnam
veteran spat upon by antiwar activists. The relation between Vietnam
veterans and the peace movement was generally good, since the
antiwar people saw the mostly working class vets as just as much
victims of the war machine as the Vietnamese peasants. We should
remember that in that war, as many as 550,000 GIs went AWOL or
deserted. A Harris Poll in 1971 showed that only 1% of the veterans
encountered hostile reactions when they came home, and they did
not think the antiwar movement was hostile to them. (more)
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SON OF BILLY
What U.S. officials are learning, to their surprise and horror,
is that you can have the strongest military in the world and still
not be able to control the population, especially when that population
thinks you're on their sacred homeland for nefarious purposes.
And the U.S., clueless as usual, continues to permit things that
are anathema to the population. Such as: permitting missionaries
into the country to attempt to Christianize the Muslim citizenry;
Bush has approved Franklin Graham (Billy's son) and his missionaries
being let loose in Iraq. Graham on several occasions has denounced
Islam as a "very evil and wicked religion," making Muslims
just a tad suspicious of the man. (more)
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Dixie Chicks treated to some Good Ol' Boy Hospitality:
'Ya all don't come back now, heah?'
" . . . Instead, they were attacked, taken off radio stations, and callers to the same stations spewed so much venom that it inevitably culminated in on-the-air death threats. Obviously, democracy is skin deep. I thought it was just foreigners like me who received death threats and viruses through their emails. I was wrong. This raises another issue: Could the Homeland security people tell the world why such people were not apprehended? Those who threaten to kill someone for reasons of ideology or a point of view are terrorists. . ." (more)
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You might recall in a recent newsletter I suggested that one of the prime motivations for the war in Iraq, as far as the US military was concerned, could be for new weapons testing in combat. .
Cheney: Iraq War a Victory for Military Technology
Reuters
May 1 2003 4:58PM
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A high-tech revolution gave the U.S. military
the lethal power to defeat Iraq's Saddam Hussein using fewer troops
and jet fighters than during the 1991 Gulf War, Vice President
Dick Cheney said on Thursday.
New war technology, including unmanned spy planes flying at
65,000 feet and real-time computer displays that replaced "maps,
grease pencils and radio reports" for field commanders, let
U.S. forces topple Saddam before he could react, Cheney told the
Heritage Foundation think tank. (Sorry, link has
been deleted at source.)
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How to stop the next war - for Australians
Senator Andrew Bartlett,
Leader of the Australian Democrats
Sending troops to war, must be decided by Parliament not the
PM
Many Australians have been shocked to discover that the Prime
Minister
has the power to send our troops to war without the support of
the
United Nations, the Australian Parliament or the Australian people
and
without the Governor-General needing to authorise the decision.
But
presently, the Prime Minister, under the guise of Cabinet decision,
and the
authority of the Defence Act, has exactly that power.
The Howard Government has been the first Government in our
history to
go to war without majority Parliamentary support. The PM put the
issue
to the Parliament after the decision had been made. This saw the
Senate
vote against the decision to commit Australian troops to war in
Iraq at
almost the same time as the bombs began to fall on Baghdad.
It is clearly time to take the decision to commit troops to
overseas
conflict out of the hands of the Prime Minister and a subservient
and
secretive Cabinet, and place it with the Parliament.
That is why the Democrats have introduced the Defence Amendment
(Parliamentary Approval for Australian Involvement in Overseas
conflict) Bill
into Parliament.
If passed, it would place the responsibility for the decision
to send
Australian troops overseas with both Houses of Federal Parliament
subject to exceptions covering the movement of personnel in the
normal course
of their peacetime activities and the need to take swift action
in an
emergency.
The Democrats first proposed in 1981 that the Australian Parliament's
consent be required to commit troops to overseas conflict, through
seeking to move amendments to the Defence Act. This initiative,
as it does
in other countries, would lead to a more reasoned basis for sending
defence force personnel overseas, and ensure it occurs only where
it has
majority support outside the Cabinet. The Executive should not
be able
to involve Australian troops in an overseas conflict if they have
not
been able to successfully make their case at least to the Parliament.
The fact that the Howard Government is supporting a doctrine
of
pre-emptive strike, makes this Bill all the more important.
We must consider not just the conflict in Iraq, but ask 'where next?'.
The Government's Defence White paper update released in February
2003,
reflected the new reality that this Government is willing, even
eager,
to play a military combat role that is politically outside of
United
Nations' multilateral efforts and, geographically, far beyond
our own
Asia Pacific region where there are many significant security
issues. The
fact is our military and other security resources are limited
and we
have to make choices as to how and where they are deployed.
There should be no doubt about the high human and economic
costs of
war. It is arguably the most serious decision that is made on
behalf of a
nation. That decision should be made only with the support of
the
Parliament.
A copy of the Democrats petition on 'How to stop the next war'
can be
found here: (more)
(thanks to Senator L. Allison for this link)
Print a few out and get them signed - then mail them in. You'll
feel better.
Here's a couple jokes you may not have heard.
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Just Laughing to Keep from Crying
Two Lesbians Went Into a Bar
An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him and asked, Are you a real cowboy?
He replied, Well, I've spent my whole life on a ranch, herding horses, mending fences and so forth so I guess I am.
She said, I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking of women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, work, drive, watch T.V. whatever, everything seems to make me think of women.
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little later, a man sat down on the other side of the cowboy. He asked, Are you a real cowboy?
The old cowboy replied. Well, I always thought I was but I
just found out I'm a lesbian.
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More Proof that God is Jewish
Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greets her at the
Pearly
Gates. "Be thou hungry, Teresa?" saith God. "I
could eat," Mother Teresa
replies.
So God opens a can of tuna, reaches for a chunk of rye bread
and they
share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down
into Hell
and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants,
pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains
quiet. The next
day God again invites her to join him for a meal. Again, it's
the tuna and rye
bread. Once again, Mother Teresa eyes the denizens of Hell enjoying
caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still she says
nothing. The
following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened.
She
can't contain herself any longer.
Meekly, she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven
with you as a
reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in Heaven
all I get to eat
is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the Other Place they
eat like
emperors and kings! I just don't understand..."
God sighs. "Let's be honest," he says. "For
just two people, does it
pay to cook?"
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Dogs vs Wives
This is why lots of guys have two dogs and not two wives
1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
7. A dog's parents never visit.
8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point
across.
10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your
wallet or desk.
11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
12. Dogs can't talk.
13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours
a day.
15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
16. Dogs like to go hunting.
17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play
with both of you.
19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died
would you get another dog?"
20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel
room for free.
21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give
them away.
22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling
you a pervert.
23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they
just think it's interesting.
25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.
30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.
(thanks to Mairied Sullivan for those.)
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The World's 2nd Funniest Joke:
Two Jews Went Out of a Bar.
(I made that one up. boom boom!)
Favourite Review of the Week
'1982. Age ten. Playing in a tree fort with neighbourhood kids. The smell of urine wafts through the air, and it's coming from a cubby hole down in the tree. Urine and candy wrappers. Another mix tape. Joe Dolce, with 'Shaddap You Face'. And The Boss, with 'Hungry Heart'. Except it wasn't really the Boss. And it wasn't even Joe Dolce. This was one of those cheap deals with songs sung by studio musicians, i.e. not the original singers. Sure, they sounded similar, but something was lacking: the emotion, the power of singing your own song. But hell, I was ten. I wasn't gonna complain.' ExtraTexture
And don't forget to remember your mother on Mother's day. (She remembered you when you were howling for something to eat and to get that crap out of your pants.)
ta
Joe