JOE DOLCE NEWSLETTER
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Friday May 8th, 2009
Loup Garon
"The factory of the future will have only two employees,
a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog.
The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment."
Warren G. Bennis
Hi folks,
I’ve been trying to work out why the glut of vampire stories at the present moment. What’s the psychic attraction? Anyone have any ideas? Bram Stoker would be twitching in his grave at all the changes that have been forced upon his original character.
Vlad Tepes, born in the town of Sighisoara in Transylvania, was also known as "Dracula," which means "son of the Dragon." (The word "tepes" in Romanian means "impaler" -- and Vlad was so-named because of his penchant for impalement as a means of punishing his enemies). Originally, this title came about because his father (also named Vlad) belonged to the Order of the Dragon, an order formed by the Holy Roman Emperor Sigismund for the purpose of defeating the Turks. The elder Vlad used the dragon symbol on his coins and went by the name "Dracul" ("dragon" or "devil"). Hence the diminutive "-a" on his son's name, Dracula. As the younger Vlad's talent for torture became known, however, the name Dracula came to be interpreted more and more as the sinister "son of the devil."
Contemporary human vampires are demented or semi-insane people who have a mania for drinking human blood. Anastasie Dieudonne, in Haiti, for several months, had been draining the blood from her nine-year old niece. Physicians could find nothing wrong with her. Then an old black native doctor was called in. "She is the victim," he said, "of a vampire, or a loup garon. The life-blood is being secretly sucked from her body." The most completely authenticated case in history is that of the beautiful Countess Bathori who lived in Hungary about three hundred years ago. She owned a castle on the edge of the Carpathian Mountains. The Countess confessed that each night she went to the dungeon, opened a vein in the arm of one of her prisoners, drank quantities of blood, and also bathed her face and shoulders in it. She believed that this would keep her always young and beautiful. Then, there was Fritz Haarman, in Hanover, Germany, who was executed after the World War. He lured no less than twenty-seven youths into his home and drank their blood.
http://www.logoi.com/notes/vampires.html
Personally, I don’t find the real thing attractive at all. Therefore, there must be something metaphorical which we are drawn to. The idea of being immortal. Vampires do not become ill. They are faster, stronger, no longer need to breath and are beautiful. Vampires can also transition to different places at whim so you don't even need a vehicle to get around. Vampires have only one true soulmate and that bond can never be broken.
Let’s look at the upside of being a vampire: live forever, stay the same age, superhuman strength, move fast, wounds heal quickly, fangs (good for tenderizing meat), flying ability and can keep the same clothes their whole lives.
The downside: no garlic, no baccala, no wine, only drink blood, sleep in the ground, turn into a bat, fry in sunlight, can’t pronounce Ws, clammy skin.
Can vampires get fat from drinking too much blood – like Grandpa Munster? (You never see that. I know they can’t get old, but can they get wide?)
FREUD AND JUNG
Freud and Jung based their ideas on vampires on the book from Stocker which was published in 1897. Count Dracula posed many threats to Victorian social, moral and political values: he changes virtuous women into beasts with ravenous sexual appetites. He is the embodiment of evil that can only be destroyed by reasserting the beliefs of traditional Christianity in an increasingly skeptical and secular age; he represents the fear of regression, a reversal of evolution, a return to our more primal animal state.
‘All human experiences of morbid dread signify the presence of repressed sexual and aggressive wishes, and in vampirism we see these repressed wishes becoming plainly visible.’ Freud
But for Jung, the vampire was the representation of a psychological aspect he called, "the shadow." The Shadow is made of aspects of one's self that the conscious mind and ego were unable to recognize. The shadow was primarily negative concepts, such as repressed thoughts and desires, out anti-social impulses, morally questionable judgment, childlike fantasies, and other traits we normally feel shame for expressing or thinking.
"The Shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real." Jung
Jung interpreted the vampire as an unconscious complex that had the ability to take over the conscious mind by means of "enchanting" the psyche or akin to what we might label a spell. The vampire became a key fixture in society according to Jungians, because it became a mental scapegoat of sorts. It allowed humanity to project the negative aspects of ourselves onto something we could both openly revile and admire without actually acting out the desires and impulses ourselves. The vampire acts in the way humanity wishes it could, but can not due to social restraints. Jung also added that there are other traits the vampire possesses, such as auto-erotic, and narcissistic traits, as well as a personality that is predatory, anti-social, and parasitic.
http://vampires.monstrous.com/psychoanalysis_vampire.htm
Like everyone else, I’m intrigued with the sexual thing between vampires and humans. But how exactly is that supposed to work? It’s usually a male vampire and a female human. So I assume the vampire can get an erection (albeit, a cold one, probably nice in the summertime, like a popsicle, but not so nice in the winter.) Ok. So do they have orgasms? Live or dead sperm? And can they get someone pregnant? And if so, is the baby stillborn? Does it come back to life after it’s buried? Have baby fangs? Drink mother’s milk? Or does it just fang her nipples?
Does anyone else other than me wonder about this kind of stuff?
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
If anyone read down to the bottom of last week’s newsletter, you might have seen the tidbit about the first version of ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ If you missed it, here it is again:
“Do They Know It's Christmas? (1983 version)’ is a little known 1983 charity song written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure specifically for celebrity supergroup Band Aid to raise money for the starving millions in Wales. The record was released on November 29th 1983 in time to vie for the coveted Christmas Number One slot. Reaching No 176 in the UK singles chart, the song was the precursor to 1984's Do They Know It's Christmas?, which featured the more famous version of Band Aid. The writing of the song became a headache for both men. Geldof and Ure tried in vain to find words to rhyme with Welsh place names such as 'Aberystwyth' and Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. A heated debate also arose over some of Ure's lyrics as Geldof rightly pointed out that "there probably would be snow in Pontypridd this Christmastime - especially on the more hilly areas!" The line was eventually discarded, but was adapted for the 1984 version. Geldof also played a prank on Ure saying that the charity song could be a cover version of Joe Dolce's Shaddap Your Face. Ure's response wasn't recorded.” wikipedia
I’ve just learned that Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.com also happens to be the longest single word (without hyphens) .com domain name in the world. This Welsh town actually exists and its name translates as "The church of St. Mary in the hollow of white hazel trees near the rapid whirlpool by St. Tysilio's of the red cave".
http://www.llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.com/
I like the concept of names-as-haiku. Dances-with-wolves kind of stuff. My old friend, aboriginal elder Gnarnyarrhe Inmurray Waitari’s name translates, from the dialect of Indjubunji, to: “Little blue joey kangaroo born by a spring in the dreamtime.” The original hebrew of my own name would be Joseph (he who adds) Dolce (sweet). ie He who adds sweetness. (Or maybe it's ‘he who adds pastries’.)
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 1
"Football is a mistake. It combines two of the worst elements of American life:
violence and committee meetings. George F. Will, writer, (winner of 1977 Pulitzer Prize)
FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK
Hi Joe
Just about fell out of my chair over your comments about dear old Bob [Dylan]; you are a very funny man Mr Dolce :-)
I run hot and cold on Bob personally, I don't know whether 'he is finished !' but some times I have watched him and wished he would !!
I can listen to 'Ballad of a Thin Man' and other timeless classics on any cold evening with a nice red, but I agree it is the lyrics that are thin these days. Then again what happened to the generation that Bob was supposedly once the voice of ? Perhaps we have all lost the fire, it is just that 'Bob the (former) Builder' is still occasionally in the spotlight.
Cheers, Stephen Dunlevey :-)
(Note: Stephen, listen to how he absolutely mangles ‘Hallelujah’ by Cohen. Marks to him though for singing it- Cohen has never sung a Dylan song. Interesting how he Dylanizes it. Bob could make a menu sound deep.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-8Arvz8rHM
Here is an unusually charming interview with him when he was in Australia in 1986:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbFcJRcUK2s&feature=related
Joe,
RE: Amend Thy Face
As far as I know the Stones Steel Wheels tour was 1989. Well it started in that long ago year. How can you call it an excerpt from a recent interview on Mr Dylan's website.
I realise you're not overly fond of the Zimmerman, lad, but dragging out 20-year-old stuff is a bit over the odds. Unless it's Grange or St Henri. Mike
(Note: Mike, it’s not that I’m not fond of the old geezer. I am. It’s kind of like how you feel about your parents. I grew up with him. You can love them but also not approve of some of their choices. I’ve had some Grange and some St Henri recently and I also had my musical enlightenment cherry broken at the precise time both the Stones and Dylan were in their PRIME. So naturally, I am disappointed at their gradual stagnation into caricatures of themselves. Cheap wine and a three day growth. I prefer to spend my remaining years apprenticing myself to artists who continued to improve and transcend their earlier work, such as JS Bach, Yeats, Plath, Coleridge and the vast pantheon of blinding lights who have come before. But your email threw me at first. My first thought was: didn’t I read the review properly? Was this an old review? I checked it out and lo! - this is something Dylan actually said himself in the CURRENT interview for his new album on his own website! Bob is the one living in the past, Mike. He was subtly called on this faux pas by the interviewer in the very next question but, not being a particular fan of the current incarnation of the Rolling Stones either, I was unfamiliar with their recent tours and missed the response. Have a look for yourself on Page 4. Here is the full quote:
Q: ‘What do you think of the Stones?
Dylan: What do I think of them? They’re pretty much finished, aren’t they?
Q: They had a gigantic tour last year. You call that finished?
Dylan: Oh yeah, you mean Steel Wheels. I’m not saying they don’t keep going, but they need Bill. Without him they’re a funk band. They’ll be the real Rolling Stones when they get Bill back.
Q: Bob, you’re stuck in the 80’s.
Dylan: I know. I’m trying to break free.
http://www.bobdylan.com/#/conversation?page=4
Hi Joe,
I get to read your emails, or look at the pictures because usually that is all I give myself time for, as I inherited the family email address when my husband became too unwell and later died from his cancers. His name was Simon Nield. He was a musician with a little reknown in Perth. He loved reading your emails and also thought you provided a positive influence on the world. Have to agree with him. Hey I noticed you hang with Kavisha [Mazzella] some times. She was one his friends following a few projects they worked on together here in Perth. Anyway I am being a bit nostalgic because it is Friday and feel you should know about Sim. Have a look at his Youtube videos (if you haven't) and listen to some pretty good guitar playing. I wish he got to meet you. He would have loved it, but was too humble to bother you. I on the other hand think you should know that such a clever dude like him had tonnes of respect for you. I would update his homepage if only I could work out the necessary passwords and server addresses. Tis not insurmountable, I will eventually ask the correct person. Youtube is lovely for me because I go and hang out with my boy on the web and share the love that comes in from it. Perhaps a bit sick, but for now that is what I have and that is what I do. Soon, hopefully I won't need to.
Stay happy Joe. It is really important. Kind regards, Lindy Nield
http://www.simonnield.com/
(Note: I was touched by this letter. Thank you, Lindy, for contacting me. Folks, please go to Simon’s site and listen to his wonderful song ‘Still’.)
Dear Joe Dolce
My name is Sherry, and I am in grade 7. I started taking guitar lessons last year, and want to start a band when I get in high school. I listen to some of my Dads cd's, and your stuff is great. We are doing a project in music class on great musicians of the 20th century.. Most people are doing their projects on Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Buddy Holly , and groups that are not around anymore. Dad suggested I do my project on you, and has been helping me get started. He also thought it would be a good idea to send you an email, and request an autograph, and ask you what your favorite live performance is. I can send you Canadian stamps if you like.
Thank you very much for your time, and the amazing songs on your cd's. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely, Sherry Night
Woodstock, Ontario
(Note: See why I love kids? )
Dear Joe.
Read your bit on Mel Gibson, I'm the only person I know that enjoyed "The Passion of Christ". I didn't find it insulting to Jewish people at all. I did find it insulting to Christians because of the weird monsters that would appear occasionally and the Terminator-like ending where his hand goes by the camera with a hole in it.
I'm sure I heard him say " I'll be back " in an Austrian accent. I think Mel was planning a sequel .
The reason i liked it was that I treated it as a dark comedy and found it very funny.
And it seemed to re-enforce my thinking that the Italians whacked him anyway.
Consider this. You knock off just another protester in the backwaters of your Roman Empire and for some reason he ends up being feted as the big religious boss in your own country.
You got a problem. You have to find a scapegoat. Who else was there? The Jews. Let's lay it on them.
I know you got Italian blood Joe but it's something to consider!
Maybe it was Josephus Dolcianus , a roman centurion, who was standing guard near the cross and Jesus kept moaning on about something or other, so Josephus yelled out " Shaduppa your face" in Latin and gave him a swipe with his spear. You never know.
I also liked "Battlefield Earth" with John Revolta.
I was pretty out of it when I watched it but I thought it was a comic pisstake of the life of Bob Marley and the movie " Lord of the Rings". Very funny.
Kinda like what " Spaceballs" did for "Starwars".
I'm just that kind of guy.
Regards, Your compadre, Broderick Smith
http://www.brodericksmith.com
(Note: Josephus Dolci-anus - are you trying to tell me something, mate? I didn’t know you cared. Interesting thinking, Broderick - Roman Pontius Pilate ordered Jesus’ execution and Roman soldiers nailed him up and speared him; ergo, the Italians actually killed Christ. Someone should write Mel Gibson about this in case he is planning a Passion of the Christ 2 – The Sicilians.)
Hi Joe,
Just lovvvvvvve your newsletter! Always so varied and informative. Please keep it going. As a member of "La Voce Della Luna" choir, am looking forward to "Gig" with you for the terremotati abruzzesi on May 24th. I'll spread the word, and, as an 'abruzzese' myself, "Thank You" very much for your participation in this worthy project. A presto, saluti, Domenica Leone
Joe,
You referred to Marthe Keller and possibly know of the following- a recording of Jeanne d'Arc au Bûcher by Honegger (Deutsche Grammophon and on CD, 1991). Keller plays Joan of Arc and is magnificent, Gay Bilson
(Note: Small world, Gay. I wrote an oratorio that was performed twice in the mid-90s by the Melbourne Chamber Orchestra and Chorelation Choir called ‘Joan on Fire’ - Joan’s reflections while burning at the stake. One day soon I will put some of the live recordings online but for now here’s the link for Jeanne d'Arc au Bûcher, by Honegger, with some audio excerpts -
http://www.amazon.com/Arthur-Honegger-Jeanne-dArc-bûcher/dp/B000026C4J
hi joe,
What many people don't know is that in the late '80's, the german-based recording giant, BMG music group, riding high on the wave of its takeover of the RCA and Arista labels, decided to engage in some scientific experimentation. they decided to see if they could conquer not only the human market, but the animal market as well. so they hired an actual monkey to create an orang-fronted euro-dance-style project geared specifically to the primate demographic. humans were not really meant to hear it, but as sometimes happens, the project leaked out of the studio.
when the label execs realised what had happened, rather than suppress it, they decided to try to cash in by hiring a couple of human replacements for the orangs to front the project for its release into the human market. milli vanilli didn't last long. the consequences to the lives of the pair of unfortunate humans who'd stood in for the orangutans were unfortunate. the original videos created for the primate market have rarely been seen outside jungles and zoos. to this day, few people know that this was a project created by a monkey. for monkeys.
Cheers, Joan besen
(Note: Here’s a little vampire monkey as a way of saying thank you for your many contributions, Joan.
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 2
"Committee--A group of men who individually can do nothing
but as a group decide that nothing can be done." Fred Allen
What I’m Reading This Week
The Varieties of Religious Experience – by William James. Extraordinary work on the nature of religion, written in 1901. I’ve read this book several times and continue to return to it for ideas. Here is one of the most profound insights I have ever read:
“ The next step into mystical states carries us into a realm that public opinion and ethical philosophy have long since branded as pathological, though private practice and certain lyric strains of poetry seem still to bear witness to its ideality. I refer to the consciousness produced by intoxicants and anesthetics, especially by alcohol. The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.’ (from Mysticism and Alcohol)
The Gift – poems by the sufi master, Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky. Hafiz lived at approximately the same time as Chaucer. Those of you who have followed my newsletter will know that I print a lot of Hafiz’s poems – my favourite Sufi poet. This book has some interesting biography about his life. Once you become familiar with Hafiz’s poetry, you will see its influence on the writing of Leonard Cohen (whom I think wants to BE Hafiz), Emerson, Nietzsche, Cavafy, Goethe and even Lorca – all of whom were champions of this 13th century visionary. Hafiz’s real name was Shams-ud-din Muhammad but he chose the name Hafiz, which means ‘memoriser’ - a term given to those who could recite the entire Koran from memory! In Iran (then, Persia) even today, poetry is respected at the same level as opera is in Italy. Hafiz was, in turn, celebrated and despised, depending on which government was in power. Only 500 poems survive of the more than 5000 he composed – most destroyed by the fundamentalist clerics who found him a serious threat. Here is a sample of his work:
WHO CAN HEAR THE BUDDHA SING
Hafiz,
Tonight as you sit with your
Young students
Who
Have eyes
Burning like coals for the truth,
Raise your glass in honor
Of The Old Great One from Asia,
Speak in the beautiful style
And precision wit of a
Japanese verse.
Say a profound truth about this path
With the edge of your sailor’s tongue that
Has been honed on the finest sake.
Okay, dear ones, are you ready?
Are you braced?
Well then:
Who can hear the Buddha sing
If that dog between your legs is barking?
Who can hear the Buddha sing
If that canine between your
Thighs
Still
Wants to do circus
Tricks?
What I’m Watching This Week
Spooks 7 – Ongoing BBC fictional thriller series about MI5. In Episode 3, actor Richard Armitage undergoes actual waterboarding torture. Waterboarding involves victims being placed on their backs, with their heads lowered, before water is poured on to a cloth blocking their airways, making breathing without inhaling liquid impossible.
“ I was strapped to a pallet and laid at an angle with a cloth placed over my mouth,” he said. “My arms and legs were tied, and we had agreed a signal that when it became too much I would bang my arms on my legs.“You start to breathe in and out, but when the water just fills everywhere up it just hits you. I only lasted five to ten seconds, and the sound of my voice crying out to stop isn’t me acting. The psychological damage of doing that to someone for even a minute would be indescribable.”
Twilight – directed by Catherine Hardwicke from the novel by Stephenie Meyer. I wasn’t prepared to like this film as I’d heard so many negative comments about it and I thought I couldn’t come close to recent masterpieces like ‘Let the Right One In’, (which it doesn’t) but still - I actually did like it. I watched it twice. It’s really a Spielberg-kind-of romance/coming-of-age story. But a very clean looking film with nice special effects. And not a vampire fang to be seen! Actually most of the vampire rules are re-written for this story. For instance, they can walk around in the daylight. No overt sex scenes like in True Blood. Kristen Stewart as Bella looks exactly like one of my first girlfriends, Debbie, which endeared me to her instantly (see pic below) - and Robert Pattinson as Edward reminded me of a mix between a young Marlon Brando and James Dean. Nice to look at and a good actor. I loved the vampire baseball match with background soundtrack by MUSE, ‘Supermassive Black Hole.’ (The entire live performance of that song at Wembley Stadium is included on the DVD extras.) A few problems: the title ‘Twilight’ is poor and has absolutely nothing to do with the story. Edward is 17 but in real years, he is 107 – which means in actual years and experience, he is practicing statutory rape with a minor, Bella, who is 17. (But what vampire court is going to convict him?) And why is Edward still a junior in high school? What’s that about? His cover, I suppose. But what happens next? He doesn’t age so does he graduate, move to another town and then become a junior in another high school again? Edward, the vampire, can read minds – except for Bella’s – that’s why he’s attracted to her. But in the Sookie Stackhouse series of vampire novels, Sookie, the human waitress, can read minds, except for the vampire, Bill – that’s why she’s attracted to him. I’ve never seen this idea before in any previous vampire stories so somebody borrowed somebody else’s idea. The Sookie series was published in 2001. The Twilight series in 2005. Faitez les mathmatiques.
What I’m Listening to This Week
Lilac Wine – versions by Nina Simone & Eartha Kitt.
Supermassive Black Hole – by Muse. Here’s the videoclip that was included on the ‘Twilight’ DVD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tugqHunwDA
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 3
"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why
the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve,
its full potential, that word would be 'meetings'." Dave Barry
Mexican Words of the Day
*Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence. Pepito
replies: Maria likes me, but cheese fat.
*Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.
*Shoulder*
My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to read so I shoulder.
4. * Texas *
My fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering where I'm at!
*Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got my piece and she got herpes.
*July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store so I asked ju would july to meet me there?
*Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.
*Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair
*Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
*Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey
harassment nothing to me.
*Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.
*Body wash*
I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.
*Budweiser*
That women over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?
(thanks to Don Digby and Jeff Kent)
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 4
"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured
and then quietly strangled." Sir Barnett Cocks
BRILLIANT COIN TRICK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A7jDDDyw0I
(thanks to Sean Mendis via Dai Woosnam)
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 5
"Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything." John Kenneth Galbraith
(thanks to Dr. Mardy Grothe)
LOVE IN THE CONCRETE
1 John 3:18-24, John 10:11-18
“ A story goes that a psychology professor lived next to a man who was always scolding his child. The professor would constantly remind the man that he must love the child more and scold him less. One day the professor has laid down a beautiful new concrete driveway. After it was completed and everyone had left the neighbour’s child snuck over and placed his initials in the wet concrete. The professor on catching him doing this began to severely scold him. Coming outside hearing the commotion the child’s father says, ‘remember professor you said you must love the child’ to which the professor responded, ‘I do love the child, in the abstract but not in the concrete!”
(thanks to Reverend John Queripel)
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 6
"If Columbus had an advisory committee,
he would probably still be at the dock." Arthur Goldberg
Bodhisattva in Metro
I defy anyone to watch this without smiling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jedd2FiZTqM
(thanks to Ramon Sender)
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 7
"A committee is an animal with four back legs." John le Carre
If you stare at this image long enough, you will see a giraffe.
~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~
Two Paintings
Il Dolce Far Niente
Hunt, William Holman
1860
Oil on canvas
The Forbes Magazine Collection, New York
Dolce Far Niente
John William Godward
1904
(This painting is owned by Andrew Lloyd-Webber.)
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 8
"People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything." Thomas Sowell
RECIPE
Torta Di Mele Di Carnia
Apple Torte with Bread Crumb and Hazelnut Crust
I memorized this recipe off of the Foodchannel last week and it came out wonderful. An unusual take on the apple pie and pie pastry, made with bread crumbs taken from stale bread, probably because of the scarcity of white flour in the Carnic Mountains, in the northern part of Friuli, Italy.
For the bread crumb crust:
1/2 cup hazelnuts, toasted
1 1/2 cups fine dry bread crumbs
6 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons freshly grated lemon zest
3/4 cup milk
6 tablespoons butter, plus a bit for the tart pan
flour for rolling out the dough
For the apple filling:
2 pounds (or a bit more) tart, firm apples such as Granny Smith
1/2 cup sugar, or more to taste
1 cup dry white wine or hard (fermented) apple cider
Whipped cream or sour cream or ice cream or powdered sugar (optional)
Recommended Equipment:
A wide, heavy-bottomed 3- or 4-quart saucepan, with a cover
A 9-inch tart pan with a removable bottom
To make the pastry dough, chop the toasted hazelnuts into small bits, about the size of barley or rice grains, using a chef's knife, or pulse in a food processor, in short bursts to avoid pulverizing. Mix the chopped nuts with the bread crumbs, sugar, and grated lemon zest in a big bowl. (Note: I simply mortal and pestled some toasted hazelnuts very finely.)
Heat the milk and butter in a small saucepan just until the butter melts. Pour over the dry mixture, and stir until evenly moistened. Let the very sticky dough sit in the bowl for about 15 minutes, so the liquids are absorbed by the crumbs. Scrape dough onto a large piece of plastic wrap, enclose it, and press into a disk. Refrigerate the dough for an hour or more, until it is quite firm.
To make the filling, peel, core, and slice the apples; you should have 6 to 7 cups of slices. Spread them in the saucepan; pour the sugar and the cider or wine on top; cover the pan, and set it over medium heat. Cook covered for about 10 minutes, gently turning the apples every few minutes, as they wilt and release their juices. Uncover the pan; adjust the heat to keep the liquid perking and slowly reducing. Turn the slices over frequently but carefully, so they stay intact. When the liquid has all but evaporated and the apples are soft and nicely glazed, turn off the heat and let the apples cool. Strain the juices off and reserve in case you want to make a syrup.
When you're ready to form the pastry and bake, arrange a rack in the middle of the oven and heat it to 375°. Lightly butter the tart ring and removable metal bottom. Cut off a third of the chilled disk of dough for the top crust, and set it aside. Bwtween two pieces of plastic wrap, which makes it easier for handling the fragile dough, roll the remaining two-thirds of the dough to a 12-inch-diameter circle, almost 1/4 inch thick, more like a cookie dough than a pie crust. Side the dough, still in the plastic wrap, onto a small cutting board so it is easy to handle. Lift off the top sheet of plastic wrap, place the inverted tart pan over the dough and flip it over onto the tart pan. Press the dough down so it lines the pan bottom and sides, and trim the edges so there's an even 1/2 inch of dough over the rim of the tart ring, all around. Don’t worry about breakages – just patch them up.
Spread the cooled apple slices on the bottom crust, in an even layer. Roll out the smaller piece of dough into a 9-inch round, the same thickness as the first. Use the same technique with the plastic wrap for ease in moving it around. Flip it gently and loosely over the filling, and trim the outside edges to fit snugly inside the bottom crust, covering the apples like a lid. Fold the overlapping bottom crust over the top piece, and pinch and smooth the dough layers together, sealing the apples inside.
Place the torta in the oven, and bake for an hour, until the top crust is deep golden brown and the outer crust has separated slightly from the side ring. The top crust may crack open, and you should be able to see the apple filling bubbling inside. Set the pan on a wire rack to cool.
When the torta has cooled and the crust has firmed up, remove the side ring. If you wish, use a long metal spatula to separate the bottom crust from the metal disk, and slide the torta onto a board or cake plate. Serve cut in wedges, warm with ice cream, or completely cool with powdered sugar and cream. (Optional: The drained juice from the apples can be reduced and used to make a delicious syrup.)
Makes a 9-inch tart.
(thanks to Lidia Bastianich - Lidia’s Italy)
What We Want
What we want
is never simple.
We move among the things
we thought we wanted:
a face, a room, an open book
and these things bear our names--
now they want us.
But what we want appears
in dreams, wearing disguises.
We fall past,
holding out our arms
and in the morning
our arms ache.
We don't remember the dream,
but the dream remembers us.
It is there all day
as an animal is there
under the table,
as the stars are there
even in full sun.
~ Linda Pastan ~
(Carnival Evening
Newsletter Archive and Recipe Index
http://members.iinet.net.au/~dwomen/files/newsletterarchive.html
Insights on Committees & Meetings No. 9
"I don't believe a committee can write a book.
It can, oh, govern a country, perhaps,
but I don't believe it can write a book." Arnold Toynbee
THE FINAL HURRAH
The Bagpiper
As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.
I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.
I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.
As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.
As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "Sweet Jeezuz, Mary'n Joseph, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
(thanks to Robyn Jones)
