Friday October 24th 2008

Banging on the Tea Kettle

 Anyone who has begun to think
    places some portion of the world in jeopardy.
John Dewey

Hi folks,

I noticed on Wikipedia that Howard Jachter has done a cover version of Shaddap You Face. I thought I was familiar with all the variations but I never heard of this guy so I looked him up. Howard (Chaim) Jachter is a prominent rabbi on the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA)!  He is also a teacher at the Torah Academy of Bergen County. He is well-known for his articles in TABC's weekly Torah Publication, Kol Torah, many of which form the base of his books Gray Matter, Gray Matter 2, and Grey Matter 3. He is an expert Get (Jewish Divorce) administrator and community Eruv designer. Jachter serves as chairperson of the Agunah Prevention and Resolution Committee of the Rabbinical Council of America, where he champions the use of prenuptial agreements to avoid the issues created if the husband refuses to give or receive a Get. I emailed him to enquire if he had recorded my song – and better yet – if he did a yiddish version – which I am still hanging out for. He wrote back: ‘ I sing it for my class before I start to teach.  The students like it very much. Thank You.’)   Personally, Rabbi, I think it would make a better opener for your divorce (Get) work.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Jachter

Hak Mir Nit Kain Tsheinik -  “Don't bang on the tea kettle.”  It means, “Stop knocking so much, stop making so much noise,"  ie. Shaddap You Face!
(for more Talking Jewish – see down further.)

Joe the Pizza Maker is Real Hero of the Debate

(ACDC -  Photo/Joey Peanuts) Joe the Pizza Maker, who tackled Barack Obama on the campaign trail, after meeting him in an online chat group.

The real star of the third and final presidential debate was neither John McCain, Barack Obama, nor even Joe the Plumber, but a small Melbourne pizza cook.
Joe the Pizza Maker, originally from Painesville, Ohio, has become an unlikely media star after finding himself the focus of the debate between the two White House rivals.
He is a certified pizza maker who has worked 4-hour part time shifts for years and now plans to buy his own small pizza business. The trouble for Joe the Pizza Maker is that this would take his earnings to more than $250,000,000 - making him a target of Obama’s plan to tax the wealthy. Senator McCain has been attempting to capitalize on Joe's situation. But Joe doesn’t want any part of McCain:
' How ya doin', hey, I donna make-a my money just-a from-a da pizza. Johnnie, what did your mama send you to college to get-a stupid?  Da pizza place-a just-a front-a for some of da ting on-a the side, you know, the numbers, a couple-a hookers, standover, you know-a, I used to do stuff for the Republican party. Dis and a dat. But now I’m-a vote Democrat.’
Often mistaken for that other guy - Joe the Plumber -  Joe the Pizza Maker commented:
'Whatsa matta for you? That-a guy not a real-a plumber anyway. He's a one of them Watergate plumbers. Used to work-a for that finoche, Nixon. But hey, give-a the guy a break!  He make 250 large for one night's work at that Washington, DC hotel.  He’s a hard working entrepreneur and family-a man who’s escape-a the prosecution by entering the plumber’s witness-a protection-a program. But I'm-a no trust-a no Republican plumbers no more. If I was-a you, I’d-a stick with-a Joe the Pizza Maker, Barack Obami the Hawaiian Salami, and the Democrat-a boys. We aint-a that stupid. We fix-a for you.'



FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK

Joe,
my favorite "real name" is Bernie Schwartz, better known as Tony Curtis.
Pauline Kael had a great line about Curtis' early films, calling them  
his "Yonder lies de cassel of me fodder" days. John Conquest San Antonio TX

Yo Joe,
Please put me back on the newsletter mailing list.  I keep forgetting to check in on the website and hafta read a whole buncha them all at once, causing my head to spin and I'm too old for that.  We have really enjoyed The Wind Cries Mary.  Thanks.  We recently spent a week at the Grand Canyon and played the CD (very loud!) as we blasted up Hwy 64 from Cameron to the Canyon.  Music and scenery to blow your mind!  Cool!  The Harperfield bridge used to be a great makeout site.  Denny

Joe,
So...Great Sage equal to heaven....why were the bridges covered...(like the one in the picture - that's you I take it) and seemingly only in those few states? Dom

(Note:  Dom,  the purpose is twofold: (1) covered bridges appear similar to barns and it is easier to transport cattle across them without startling them, and (2) to build a structure for weather protection over the working part of the bridge. A bridge built entirely out of wood, without any protective coating, may last 10 to 15 years. Builders discovered that if the bridge's underpinnings were protected with a roof, the bridge could stand for 70, or even 80 years. Covered bridges were also constructed to be used by travelers during storms and inclement weather.  In the United States, Pennsylvania has more covered bridges (over 200) than any other state.  A much longer covered bridge (5,960 ft) between Columbia and Wrightsville, Pennsylvania once spanned the mile-wide Susquehanna River, making it the longest and most versatile covered bridge in the world during its existence. It featured railroad tracks, a towpath for canal boats crossing the river between two canals on either bank, and a carriage/wagon/pedestrian road. The popular toll bridge was burned June 28, 1863, by Union militia during the American Civil War to prevent its usage by the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia during the Gettysburg Campaign. Also, as Denny pointed out above, they are a good place to make out! Especially with cattle.)

Joe,
RE: Ghoulardi
You keep bringing back memories. You probably already know this, but thought it worth a mention: Ernie Anderson’s son grew up to be none other than writer/producer/director Paul Thomas Anderson -  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000759/
Here’s an interesting 1978 PM Magazine (local franchised show) interview with Ernie (check out the w/p/d son when he was about 8 years old)
http://www.youtube.com/watchv=z5MCqxBcJn4
If the “local burger joint” you mention was Manners, didn’t they also have a punch-like drink called a Purple Knif which came in a plastic cup with Ghoulardi’s mug printed on it? I remember something about a curly straw through which you could see the purple liquid coming up out of the cup as you sucked like crazy.
And it’s too bad you’re not going to be in the area this weekend, as it’s time for the annual GhoulardiFest http://www.theghoulardifest.com/
Story: http://www.cleveland.com/plaindealer/stories/index.ssf?/base/other/122405945029710.xml&coll=2
Finally, a friend of mine, Larry Nozik, designed and laid out a book on Ghoulardi in the late ‘90s.
http://www.amazon.com/Ghoulardi-Subversive-Cleveland-Television-History/dp/1886228183
 Interesting site by the son-in-law of the writer of said book  
http://www.austinkleon.com/2006/10/31/ghoulardi-says-stay-sick-turn-blue/
I’ve looked for my copy with no success. Lost to the boxes in the attic since I moved my office home last year. I was going to give it to you when I saw you, but don’t think I’ll be in town until Nov. 2nd. Will you still be in the area? Best, JJ

(Note:  JJ,  I’ll be in the Painesville-Fairport area until Nov 5. I have to be in Michigan on the 6th for the Lamb’s Springfed Songwriter’s Retreat. See my website for details. I have a well-worn copy of the book you mentioned about King Ghoulardi that my family sent me:  ‘Ghoulardi: Inside Cleveand TVs Wildest Ride’ by Tom Feran and RD Heldenfels.)

Joe,
Years ago, someone told me Captain Penny jumped off a bridge. That seemed likely since one of the other child-focused performers, Barnaby, apparently flipped out. He was reported to have signed off his last show  with the instruction:  "Now remember, little neighbor, if anyone calls, tell 'em Barnaby said 'Go to Hell!'"  Not true? Bill Lempke

(Note: Bill, it wasn’t one of them covered bridges, was it?)

Thanks Joe,
For your generous offerings, I really enjoy them. Your newsletter came first by a friend Kavisha Mazzella who is married to Andy my friend from way back. I'm a poet (when I'm writing a poem), love your music, words, not so useless information. Thanks once again, Max Ryan

Joe,
I used to work as a milkman in South West Wales (UK) and the guy I worked for used to sing "Shaddap You Face" whilst driving round. Joe you are a legend who made delivering milk an enjoyable job. Taffi

hi joe!
happy birthday.  i think it was one of lewis carroll's characters who might have told alice,"One can't help getting older--but two can!!"
i am very glad i was not eating while i read "my holiday in fiji".   yikes!   that piece probably has future medical use as an emetic!!!
l'shana tovah too! Joan

(Note: I’m dedicating the Talking Jewish section down below to you! Unfortunately, the ‘holiday in Fiji’ piece aint all its cracked up to be as you can see by what follows:)

Joe,
RE: Turtle Island in Fiji with John McCain
Forgot to send you this from Snopes.com
http://www.snopes.com/politics/mccain/vacation.asp
Seems the McCain holiday letter wasn’t written by the purported author, but may have been written by a San Francisco psychologist.  No matter who wrote it, even if it’s true, it will probably be Palin-ized. You know: The psychologist, who happens to be of Indian descent, is a Muslim/Hindi/whatever terrorist who served with Obama on some board when Barack was eight years old, but should have known better. You betcha’. Best, John

Joe Dolce,
Re: Please Remove from Newsletter
Who likes Republicans? but you don't need to call them ugly.
...and 'chillun'? for a MLK song? D.K.

(Note: DK is referring to the title of my song about neo-cons, ‘Did You Get Stupid from Being Ugly or Ugly from Being Stupid?’ I guess  he doesn’t have any problem with me calling Republicans stupid, though! And he didn’t like my use of the word ‘chillun’? Well, excuse me Massa Tom! Lighten up. For DK, I’d suggest not ‘chillun’  but ‘chillout.’ Chronic and humourless political correctness is one of the reasons for the mind-numbing mediocrity coming out of America over the past decade. I would bet serious money that DK hasn’t even listened to either of these songs but still has an opinion based on a couple of words he doesn’t like.  He probably thought Shaddap You Face made fun of the way Italians talked. Have a look at the politically correct version I sang on the Shaun Micaliff program:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFQ4cYl_7Qw
DK would have loved the Confucius Say bit below.)

Hi Joe,
 I read and forward your newsletter on every week.  I also look forward to your various quotations and have now starting reading them in somewhat the same manner I read my stars ... are there any hidden meanings ... always .... and it grounds me as I face the last day of the business week. Weird I know.
 Attached are some hilarious 'Chinese Proverbs' which I thought would appeal to your 14 year old self. Thanking you for being so enlightened. Cathy x

Confucius Say
Confucius say Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Confucius say Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Confucius say Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Confucius say Man who scratch ass, should not bite fingernail.
Confucius say Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
Confucius say Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
Confucius say It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.  
Confucius say Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Confucius say Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Confucius say Man who paint toilet not necessarily shithouse painter.
Confucius say woman who put pea in soup very unhygienic.
Confucius say man who hold tool under car not necessarily mechanic.
Confucius say woman who fly in aeroplane upside down not necessarily have crack up.
Confucius say man who go to bed with stiff problem often wake up with solution in hand.


What I’m Reading This Week
The American Songbag – by Carl Sandburg. Classic collection of early Americana folk songs by the great poet who also played guitar and sang.

What I’m Watching This Week
Boston Legal -  Season 1. Captain Kirk lives! William Shatner as Denny Crane.’  ‘To boldly go where no lawyer has gone before.’

What I’m Listening to This Week
Oliver Mann – The Possum Wakes at Night. Birthday present from my daughter Brea who sings on the choral tracks.  ‘Vocally the comparisons to Antony and The Johnsons will be inevitable but Mann’s variant singing styles also remind of Paul Robeson and the ghost of the beloved German pop/opera diva Klaus Nomi.’
http://www.myspace.com/olivermannsings


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 1
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals but he is prohibited from looking directly at them. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Man arrested for sex with car wash vacuum
Police say a man in the US has been arrested after receiving sexual favours from a vacuum at a car wash. The Saginaw News reports a 29-year-old man was arrested last week near Detroit, Michigan. Reports from the US say a police sergeant confirmed a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act with the vacuum. The suspect is being held in a county jail.

(Note: Police have noted that the despondent man has been observed staring longingly in the direction of the cell block broom closet. Hey! I'll be in Michigan next week. What's the name of that car wash again?)


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 2
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Note: I wonder if you’ld be allowed to masturbate while they chopped. Like a last meal or something. Wouldn’t hurt to ask.)


New Stock Market Terms
BULL MARKET:  A random market movement that causes an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET:  A 6- to 18-month period during which the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
BOND:  An investment that ties you down hand and foot.
CASH FLOW:  The movement that your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
CEO:  Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO:  Corporate Fraud Officer.
FINANCIAL PLANNER:  A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
FREE MARKET:  A fictitious concept that allows CEOs and corporate officers to pay themselves astronomical salaries, stock options and benefits, while robbing ordinary shareholders, employees and the community.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR:  Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
MARKET CORRECTION:  The event that occurs after you buy stocks.
MBA:  Master of Bullshit Accounting.
P/E RATIO:  The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
PROFIT:  An archaic word that is no longer in use.
RECESSION:  A market phenomenon in which your neighbor loses his job or house.
DEPRESSION:  A market phenomenon in which you lose your job or house.
STANDARD & POOR:  Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST:  The idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT:  When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
YAHOO!:  What you yell after selling the stock you bought at $5 to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS:  What you jump out of when you discover the stock you bought at $240 per share is now worth $1.
(thanks to Bill Lempke)


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 3
In Hong King, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's love may be killed in any manner desired.

Kennedy-Monroe Love Child?
Yahoo News

A middle-aged man has launched a bizarre legal bid - claiming to be the secret love child of John F Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 53, insists he is the legal heir to JFK's cash - and is suing the late President's estate for what he says is his fair share.
And he says he has kept his identity secret for 45 years since Kennedy's death because he was hoping his estate would "do the right thing" and pay him.
Lawyers for the estate dismissed it as a "frivolous lawsuit" which they would "vigorously defend against".
However Kennedy - also using the name John R. Burton - insisted he was the love child of America's most loved President and the screen goddess - although he could not provide any family photos.
"They were great parents," he insisted. "I couldn't ask for anything better."
Asked why he waited 45 years after the president's assassination to come forward, Kennedy, of Queens, New York, said: "You wait for people to do the right thing, and they don't.
"That's how you end up in my position."
The Manhattan federal court filing insists "Plaintiff is a child of President Kennedy" and insists that he's been shut out of his "father's" fortune.
His suit names the current administrators of the trust that was set up for Kennedy's family, Edwin Schlossberg and Martin Edelman.
"In [his] will, each child of President Kennedy was to receive a certain amount of money each year pursuant to the terms in said will," the suit says, and because he's a Kennedy child, he deserves his share.
The suit, which seeks an unspecified "past and present" share of Kennedy's estate, also asks for the chance for Kennedy to prove he is who he says is he is by dragging relatives of the slain president into the case.
"Plaintiff requests this court order DNA testing so that plaintiffs[sic] may prove that [sic] bona fides of his claim," and order "genetic (DNA) testing of environmentalist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Congressman Patrick Kennedy ."
"Upon such proof being made," Kennedy wants a judge to recognize him as a rightful heir, the suit says.
Edelman and Schlossberg's lawyer, Susan Frunzi, said, "It's hard to imagine we would not vigorously defend against" the claims.
"I assume it's a frivolous lawsuit, and it wouldn't be the first time that people have filed frivolous lawsuits against this family."
His lawyer, Paul Dalnoky, did not return a call for comment.
The late president had two kids, Caroline and John Jr.
JFK Jr. died in a plane crash in 1999. Caroline Kennedy and Schlossberg are married.


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 4
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

(Note: Probably why English fish have those weird eyes.)

WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY MANUAL
'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal 
'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' -  U.S. Air Force Manual  
'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur 
'Tracers work both ways.' -  U.S. Army Ordnance 
'Five second fuses only last three seconds.' - Infantry Journal 
'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.' 
'If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him.' - USAF Ammo Troop 
'Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.' 
'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot) 
'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.' 
'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.' 
The three most common expressions (or famous last words), in aviation are: 
1. 'Why is it doing that?' 
2. 'Where are we?' 
3. 'Oh S...!' 
'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.' 
'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.' - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) 
'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.' Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970.  
'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.' 
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?' 
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'  - Attributed to Ray Crandell Lockheed test pilot


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 5
It is illegal to annoy a bird in any city park of Honolulu Hawaii.


US pilot told to shoot down UFO
An American jet fighter pilot has spoken of they day he was scrambled to try to shoot down a UFO in British airspace more than 50 years ago.
Lieutenant Milton Torres was based in Britain on May 20, 1957 when he received the order: get up there, arm all weapons and fire on sight.
He climbed into his Sabre jet, took off from a Royal Air Force base in Kent and headed east, spotting on his radar the blip that his superiors had judged to be hostile and probably Russian .
The dot indicated an object about the size of a B52 bomber about 24km away and Torres set a course, rockets at the ready, to catch it.
But the aircraft vanished. The blip on the radar was gone too.
Torres has finally spoken of his top secret mission following the declassification of Ministry of Defence files, cited by The Times newspaper, that relate to reported incidents of unidentified flying objects in British airspace.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/mp/5091453/pilot-told-shoot-ufo/


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 6
In Arizona you may not have more than two dildos in a house.


Single brain cell can reactivate paralysed limbs: study
PARIS (AFP) - One tiny brain cell is all it takes to restore voluntary movement of paralysed muscles, scientists in the United States reported.
In experiments pointing to new treatments for paralysis caused by spinal cord injury or stroke, monkeys learned within minutes to harness the power of a single neuron to activate muscles immobilised by drugs.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/5084151


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 7
In Louisiana, biting someone with your natural teeth is 'simple assault' while biting someone with your false teeth is 'aggravated assault.'

World over-reacted to 9/11: UK expert
The former head of Britain's security services says the response to the 9/11 terror attacks was a huge over-reaction.
Stella Rimington, who retired 12 years ago from Britain's domestic security service, MI5, said the attacks of September 11, 2001 were not that different from other terrorist attacks.
"You know, it was another terrorist incident. It was huge, and horrible, and seemed worse because we all watched it unfold on television," she is reported as saying in an interview published on Saturday by the Guardian.
"I'd lived with terrorist events for a good part of my working life, and this was, as far as I was concerned, another one," she was quoted as saying.
Rimington has become a vocal critic of the British government's anti-terror legislation. She opposed the government's plan to extend the amount of time police can hold terror suspects without charge from 28 to 42 days, a proposal that was defeated in the House of Lords last week.
In the interview, Rimington is also reported to have said the Iraq war led some young men to take up terrorism .
"If what we're looking at is groups of disaffected young men born in this country who turn to terrorism , then I think to ignore the effect of the war in Iraq is misleading," she is quoted as saying. Britain's Foreign Office said it had no comment.


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 8
In Alaska, while it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear form the purpose of taking a photograph is illegal.


POSTCARDS

The BBC Top of the Pops have online postcards you can send to friends. They have one of me from my appearance on the show back in the 80s. I’m on the same page as ABBA and SONNY AND CHER!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/totp2/postcards/greets.shtml
 

Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 9
In Arizona, if a child burps during church service, his parents  may be arrested.


TALKING JEWISH

A Gezunt Dir in Pupik
Good health to your belly button.
A Makeh Unter Yenems Orem Iz Nit Shver Tsu Trogen
Another person's problems are not difficult for you to endure.
A Shtuken Nisht in Harts
“A stab in the heart” and it hurts like hell.
A Vue Shtet Geschreiber
“Where is it written? Who says it's so?”
Ahf Mir Gezogt
“It should only happen to me.”
Chutzpah
Someone who is brazen, brash, and has the gall to tell you off even when you did nothing to him. Colossal nerve. Theodore Bickel: ‘one who murdered his parents, then pled for mercy in court because he was an orphan.’
Draykop
Someone who talks about nothing and gives you a headache.
Du Zol Nicht Vissen Frum Tsores
“You should never know from human misery, from sorrow, or from agony.”
Er Zol Vaksen Vi a Tsibeleh, Mit Dem Kop in Drerd!
“He should grow like an onion with his head in the ground”
Farbissener
An embittered person, someone who is sour about anything and everything.
Feh
The shortest, most efficient way in the Yiddish language to say something smells.
Frum Dein Moil Tzu Gott's Erin
“From your mouth to God's ears.”
Gantseh Megillah
To make a big deal or a major issue out of nothing.
Gehakteh Leber
This is chopped liver.
Ich Hob Zol in Bod
“I have you in the bath,” or “I hope you sink like a ship.” Either way, it's a wish that someone should disappear from your life.
In Drerd Mein Gelt
"My money went to hell."
Loch in Kop
"I need this like a hole in the head."
Maven
Someone who knows everything. And if he doesn't he would never admit it.
Meshuggenah
Anybody you consider nuts.
Oy Gevalt
"May a great power intervene on my behalf."
Schmeckena
Something as either crazy, nutty or insane.  
Veh is mir
"I am pain itself!"


Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 10
In Massachusetts, no gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~

Nicholas Joseph Dolce 

 
Homicide
Case # 86-03258
AKA: Nick Dolce
Gang: N/A
Sex: Male
Race: White
Age: 55
DOB: 7/12/51
Hgt: 5Ft6In
Wgt: 130 to 145
Hair: Brown
Eye: Brown
ID #: N/A

Dolce is wanted for the May 2nd, 1986, murder of his mother, Rebecca Bates, 64 of Trinidad, Colorado. Bates was bludgeoned and stabbed several times during a domestic disturbance and was found dead in her home after Dolce called a neighbor and asked that Bates be checked on. Subsequent investigation revealed that the residence was ransacked during the commission of the offense and several of Bates personal belongings, including her vehicle, were stolen by Dolce. Additionally, an attempt was made to conceal the crimes by setting fire to the residence. Bates car was recovered several months later in Kansas City, Missouri. Dolce has remained a fugitive since the commission of this offense. Aliases: Nick Dolce Richard Jake Dankert; Edward D Bear; Nick Dolsi; Ed Valica; Edward Valica; Marty Whitehorse; Eli Velasquez; Nick Sanchez; John McGregor; Amos A Maes; Nicholas Dulce; Edward Dale Valicia; Edward Valicia Identifying marks: cylindrical scar across buttocks, deformed pinky finger on left or right hand (finger is shorter than “normal pinky finger”. This finger was crushed as a child and was broken, he never received medical treatment for this injury), scar/hole above left or right knee, scar under right eye. : Dolce is known to frequent gay establishments and cross dresses as a female. He also wears heavy makeup and plucks his eyebrows when dressing as a female. He also dyes his hair black
ATTACHED PHOTO IS AGE ENHANCED

Contact: Trinidad Police Dept Det Martin 719-846-9843  ext 108
http://trinidadcopd.crimestopperswanted.com/wanted.asp?page=3969

Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 11
In the 1940s, California law made it illegal to serve alcohol to a homosexual or someone dressed as a member of the opposite sex. Drag queens avoided the latter restriction by attaching pieces of paper to their dresses that read 'Im a boy.' The courts accepted the argument that anyone wearing such a notice was technically dressed as a man, not a woman.


RECIPE

GM FOODS
In October 2008, the first ever crop of genetically modified canola will be harvested in NSW and Victoria. If you want to know more about GM foods and sign a petition to put a stop to this, here’s the link:
http://www.truefood.org.au/OurRightToKnow
(thanks to Karen Anderson)

Meanwhile, here’s something healthy.

RED QUINOA SALAD

1 cup organic red quinoa
2 cups water
6 radishes chopped in a medium dice, about 1 1/2 cups
Half a small red onion, cut into a small dice
1 large tomato, or equal amount of cherry tomatoes (1 cup) chopped
3/4 cup crumbled goat cheese
2 tbs. capers, chopped coarsely
2 tsp chopped fresh oregano (could use fresh parsley)

1 tbs Dijon mustard
4 tbs red wine vinegar
1/3 cup olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Bring the water to a boil and pour the dry quinoa in, cook for until all the water has absorbed and the quinoa is done—about 15-20 minutes (you can also cook quinoa in a rice cooker).
Let the quinoa cool and then toss with all the salad ingredients except the cheese.
Whisk the mustard and vinegar together until smooth, begin to drizzle olive oil in, whisking constantly, until the mixture begins to emulsify. Add salt and pepper to taste.
Pour dressing over salad, toss to mix, adjust seasonings. Fold cheese in carefully at the end, so as not to get all mushy. Serves two.

Transformation

I return the bitterness,
Which you gave to me;
When I wanted loveliness
Tantalant and free.
 
I return the bitterness
It is washed by tears;
Now it is a loveliness
Garnished through the years.
 
I return it loveliness,
Having made it so;
For I wore the bitterness
From it long ago.

(lyric: Lewis Alexander, music: Dolce
From ‘The Little Book of Lullaby’ by Joe Dolce, 2008.)

Newsletter Archive  and  Recipe Index
http://members.iinet.net.au/~dwomen/files/newsletterarchive.html


NEWS!  Joe Dolce new CD, 'The Wind Cries Mary,' chosen as ALBUM OF THE YEAR by 97.1 FM, 3MDR Radio, Melbourne!

" [The Wind Cries Mary] cements Dolce's reputation as one of the country's premier songwriters. His lyrical compositions are delightful to listen to, the words fit together like a perfect puzzle and while their contrast to the music and their rhythmic sense is appealing, it is also the stories behind the songs that are beautiful. . ." Eva Roberts, Rhythms Roots Mazagine

"ARTISTS can illustrate an idea, or illuminate it.. . . the gently faithful Wind Cries Mary works, because by sharing verses with Lin Van Hek, attention is turned back to Jimi Hendrix's most undervalued words. The cheeky changes to McCartney's For No One uncover the real song lost in 1966 . . . . . .and beyond worthy reworkings of some traditional folksongs are bold strokes of invention, like the daring Gift (from One Iraqi Child) . . ." Pete Best, The Melbourne Sunday Herald

Listen to some excerpts via the link below:
Joe Dolce Electronic Press Kit
http://www.sonicbids.com/JoeDolce



Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 12
In Nevada, it is still legal to hang someone for shooting a dog on your property.



THE FINAL HURRAH

13

I was just walking past the mental hospital the other day and all the patients were shouting '13....13....13.'
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little knothole in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.
 Then they all started shouting '14....14....14...'
(thanks to Ramon Sender)



Why Laws Are Not Written in Stone No. 13
In New Mexico, state officials ordered 4000 words of 'sexually explicit material' to be cut from 'Romeo and Juliet.'