JOE DOLCE NEWSLETTER

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Thursday Oct 30th, 2008

Tap That

   A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
Mark Twain

Hi folks,

OK, this the last newsletter for a few weeks while I am in the States doing some shows and workshops.

If anyone gets withdrawal symptoms, just go back and read some of the previous issues archived on my website. There is a LOT of weird and wonderful stuff there! Where did all that come from? Also, try some of the recipes from the Recipe Archive if you haven’t dipped in there yet. I’ve had a few requests to publish them all in a cookbook but celebrity chefs, for the most part, give me the shits, so for now the recipes are free. Anyway, ain’t no celebrity chef alive can outcook my dearly departed and beloved grandmother -  and she never charged anyone a cent.

For Health Nuts

I’ve just finished 45 days of an intense diet and health protocol, measuring results before and after via two different types of blood tests; a traditional one, and one from an alternative microscopist. The photo above is something we found in a drop of blood from my toe! I don’t know what it is but it sure is beautiful!

The reason I did a before-and-after over the past month is that I wanted to see if I could effect my health and well-being for the better through some off-the-beaten track procedures. Through measurable results.  And to test a few devices I bought to see if they actually work. Also, I have been wanting to get fitter for awhile and sometimes when someone close to you gets sick and changes their lifestyle, it inspires everyone around them to do the same.

Some of the activities I did over the past 45 days were the following: two hours daily of electro-micropulsing, 30 ml of colloidal silver in distilled water, drinking filtered and ozonated water, with pH drops added to raise the pH to 8,  the occasional glass of bicarbonate of soda and lemon juice, no meat, butter, flour, sugar, rice or dairy. No fried foods. Replacing butter with flax seed oil.  Sprouted breads, soaked almonds, figs and dates, psysillum husks, fresh vegetables and salads, and quinoa. Dandelion coffee and sprouted toast for breakfast, and dinner, with flax seed oil and either avocado or mashed chickpeas, and fresh tomato. Herbs from the garden daily. The main meal was always lunch, but never overeating. Stretches in the morning and daily walks. Gardening. (It’s looking great at the moment!) A lot of guitar playing. Love. The occasional lapse from all of the above, of course, but back on track straight away. (Hey, no sense in being fanatical about this stuff.)

Results: Lost four kilos in weight. Lowered my cholesterol and triglycerides by 20%. (Don’t ask me what a trigylceride is. Probably a menage-a-trois between a bigylceride and another gylceride who happened to be passing by.) My GP attributes this improvement -  to the diet changes and says the other things are hokum! I was unable to measure anything significant from the more controversial things such as the Beck micro-pulsing and colloidal silver but I still have faith that they contribute something vital.  Anyway, nothing negative to measure, so it obviously isn’t hurting and anyway,  I’m moving in the right direction so: if it’s working, why fix it, eh? Perhaps the tools I am using are incapable of measuring what these devices do? Australian composer Percy Grainger once said that there is no musical notation yet invented that is subtle enough to capture what happens when a folk singer sings.  Measurement is all well and good but never forget this little piece of advice:
 

"Sometimes the more measurable drives out the most important."  Rene Dubois

Some other things worth mentioning.  (It’s been a dynamic month!) I have had painful and chronic bursitis in, first, my left shoulder, which went away on its own after a YEAR of soldiering on, and then in my right shoulder, which was getting worst by the week and giving me sleepless nights.  (This all came about, by the way, after a solid two months of INTENSE composing and transcribing for finger-picking guitar, a 45 minute piece called ‘Ecstasy of Narcissus,’  originally written ten years ago for choir and baroque instruments. I decided to learn to sing and play it myself, so that I could perform it live solo. Easier said than done. This, combined with daily computer work -  I think the additional stress was too much for my poor tendons and joints.  Anyway, thanks to my mate, Joe Creighton, I discovered a little known procedure called a hydrodialation which improved things by about 95% in less than a half an hour! I recommend checking this out to anyone out there who is struggling with this kind of thing. Man, why suffer if you don’t have to! Get some sleep. Here is the website of the Australian doctor who pioneered this procedure:
http://www.victoriahouseimaging.com.au/

I also had an upper wisdom tooth extracted.  It was pretty wobbly and driving me crazy.  I would have liked to tell you that I pulled it myself but ‘my pliers wouldn’t take holt,’ as Leadbelly once said.  I must have had a premonition this was coming. Look at this clip I made two months ago: ‘Tooth Aching Blues’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbECZ0hAQ2o

By the way, when I return, I’ll bring you all a new US president for Christmas!


Paper in Palin's Home State Backs Obama
Alaska's top newspaper endorsed Democrat Barack Obama for the White House, saying it would be too risky to put their Republican state governor Sarah Palin just "one 72-year-old heartbeat from the leadership of the free world".
The Anchorage Daily News, the leading daily in the overwhelmingly Republican state, called Palin's vice-presidential nomination "an improbable and highly memorable event" and added that "many Alaskans are proud to see their governor, and their state, so prominent on the national stage".
Nevertheless, the newspaper editorial deemed her not yet ready to serve in the White House, and saying the hometown boosterism "does not overwhelm all other judgment".
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/5104303



FAVOURITE LETTER OF THE WEEK

Joe,
I think you should know this. I went to a Karaoke at Hallam pub last night. As everyone else, I like to show my vocal ability, but I could hardly find a song where I could do that. The song I like to sing isn't in their book. Suddenly I saw your name. I thought, I've sung [Shaddap You Face] before  -I should give it a go.  Oh my God, you should see the reaction, how people sung along, the Heys etc. And if there's a song they stood up and danced most of them it was this one.
A woman asked me, how old is that song, I said 1981.  I said I know Joe personally. We are good friends. And she went, "Really? Wow".
 I'll look for it again at other Karaokes. There you go. Your name is still as big as you think and the song as enjoying as it has been. Guess it always will. Ciao. Mario Gentil
http://www.magesongs.com/

(Note: Thanks, Mario, your cheque is in the mail. Folks, Mario translated, into Mauritian french ,and sang harmony on Lynetta , on my latest album, The Wind Cries Mary. He has promised a Mauritian translation and sega version of my song soon. The sega evolved among Mauritian slaves, and is a fusion of African music with European dances like the quadrille and polka. Sounds like a perfect defacto relationship to me.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_of_Mauritius

By the way, the words to Shaddap form part of the opening page logo of The Lesbian Mafia myspace,  for those readers who may be interested. I have no idea why.  It’s a invite-only site so I’m not invited.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=211975370
(thanks to Kath ‘the dominatrix’  Tait)

Obama and McCain - Dance Off!

Too much! How do they do this?
‘I would tap that, my friend.’ Brilliant! Watch for late entry, Sarah Palin.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=wzyT9-9lUyE
(thanks to Stefan Abeysekera)

Lost Screen Tests: Samuel L. Jackson Auditions for Titanic
http://www.minimovie.com/film-128426-Lost%20Screen%20Tests:%20Samuel%20L.%20Jackson%20(UNCENSORED!)

 

Synchronized Presidential Debating

Did watching the 2nd and 3rd debates give you a feeling of déjà vu?
This montage of synced-up footage from all three presidential debates confirms our deep-seated belief that every debate was exactly the same.
http://www.236.com/video/2008/watch_synchronized_presidentia_9857.php
(thanks to Joe Dolce, NY.)

What I’m Reading This Week
The Love Letters of Dylan Thomas - Letters to Thomas's first love, Pamela, his wife Caitlin, and Elizabeth Reitel. The basis of the film, 'The Edge of Love:'
" I have written a poem since my last letter but it is so entirely obscure that I dare not let it out even unto the eyes of such a kind and commiserating world as yours. I am getting more and more obscure day by day."
Anyone else relate to that?

Delta Force, by Colonel A. Beckwith. The journal of the man who pioneered the real-life 'Unit' fictionalized in the dvd below. Focuses on the failed Iranian hostage mission in 1980.

What I’m Watching This Week
Wire in the Blood – Season 1. Compelling 'Red Dragon' style intuitive detective tracks down serial killers. Different than the episodic standard series in that each film (only three or four per series) is an autonomous feature film. Great storylines. I've already ordered seasons 2 & 3.
The Unit – Season 2
The Civil War – documentary by Ken Burns. Meticulously detailed masterpiece.

What I’m Listening to This Week
JD Crowe and the New South - ‘My Home Ain’t in the Hall of Fame.’ This album is titled after one of my songs and is sung masterfully by the late Keith Whitley.


WARREN BUFFET’S INTERNAL YARDSTICK
'Would you rather be considered the best lover in the world and know privately that you're the worst - or would you prefer to know privately that you're the best lover in the world but be considered the worst?'
Investor Warren Buffet's little test to check your internal yardstick as to whether you trust your own sense of what is right - or look to others for affirmation.


JEFFERSON ON THE BANKS
'I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.'  Thomas Jefferson, 1802
(thanks to Jim Testa)


Let Us Now Praise Stupid Men

"One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork." Edward Abbey
"In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity." Konrad Adenauer
"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity." Hanlon's Razor
"In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." Napoleon Bonaparte
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all." Malcolm Forbes
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." Elbert Hubbard
"There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." Martin Luther King, Jr.
"I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it." Edith Sitwell
(Thanks to Dr Mardy)

Agents Thwart Obama Assassination Plot
Plot to kill Obama and 102 others
US authorities have arrested two men for threatening to kill Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama as part of a "killing spree" of African-Americans, according to court records released. US federal agents said they disrupted plans to rob a gun store and target a predominantly African-American high school by two neo-Nazi skinheads. Agents said the skinheads did not identify the school by name. Jim Cavanaugh, special agent in charge of the Nashville field office for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, said the two men planned to shoot 88 black people and decapitate another 14. The numbers 88 and 14 are symbolic in the white supremacist community. The men also sought to go on a national killing spree, with Obama as their final target, Cavanaugh told The Associated Press.
"They said that would be their last, final act - that they would attempt to kill Senator Obama ," Cavanaugh said. "They didn't believe they would be able to do it, but that they would get killed trying."

Vienna Tram Driver Fired for Nazi Salute
A tram driver in the Austrian capital has been sacked after using the Nazi greeting "Sieg Heil" on a late-night journey, Vienna's public transport company Wiener Linien says.
The 35-year-old "has already collected his working papers," a company spokesman said.
The man, who had been driving on one of the city centre tram lines on Saturday night, bid travellers good night with the words "Sieg Heil" over the PA system.
When confronted with the accusations, the man made no attempt to deny them, the spokesman said.
He could now face possible prosecution, said a spokesman for the public prosecutors' office, Gerhard Jarosch. If found guilty, he could even face a prison sentence of up to 10 years.
Online newspaper Die Juedische was the first to report on the incident and there was even a video posted on YouTube, which has since been withdrawn.


Show on Hitler's Favourite Meal Blasted
A Belgian TV show about Adolf Hitler's favourite meal to be aired next week has come under fire from Jewish, resistance and political prisoner organisations.
For the episode of his TV series Favourite Dish, professional cook Jeroen Meus goes to Hitler's haunts in southern Germany to prepare Trout with Butter Sauce, "a succulent festive meal" and said to be one of Hitler's favourite meals, the program's trailer announced.
Michael Freilich, the editor of Belgian Jewish magazine Joods Actueel, has criticised the show, saying it is worrying that it turns Hitler into a banal figure because it sends "the wrong signal" to the younger generation. The VRT network will air the show on October 28 and said it will put Hitler "in the right context".

~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~

Daisy Dolce
Porn Star

(Another Dolce gone bad. Must be something in the sauce.)
http://www.best1byday.com/category/sexy-girl/daisy-dolce/

RECIPE


Adolf Hitler’s Trout with Butter Sauce
(lost recipe for Hitler’s last meal found in the Führerbunker., with his personal notes in margins)

4 trout (or you can substitute Jewfish but it won’t be the same.)
2 oz butter for frying
6 tb soft fresh bread crumbs
4 oz butter for sauce
2 lemons
Salt and pepper
4 ts finely chopped parsley
1 tb butter for stuffing
4 tb seasoned flour

Use trout boned and gutted from back or you may use trout fillets, using the stuffing like a sandwich filling between two halves, pressing them well together.
(Don’t forget to trim your mustache.  Eva is coming for dinner and she doesn’t like to suck on the mustache when doing kissyface.)
Make the stuffing by mixing bread crumbs, butter, parsley, salt, pepper and the zest of the lemons.
(Wear elevator heels so I can look Hess in the eye without standing on a copy of 'Mein Kampf'.)
Squeeze the lemons and moisten stuffing with a little juice, reserving the rest for the sauce.
(Feed dog Blondie leftover brautwurst.)
Divide mixture in four parts and stuff each fish, pressing them shut gently.
(Touch up nude painting of Himmler.  He was upset when he saw it. Give him a bigger brautwurst.)
Dust fish in flour and fry in butter until nicely brown.
(I’ve always wanted to pee on Greta Garbo’s head. )
Keep fish warm while you make the sauce.
(The Final Sauce. Boom boom. Who says I’m not funny? I could have done standup.)
Using the same pan in which you fried the fish, reduce equal amounts of lemon juice and water to half, scraping the pan juices.
(Rewrite Mein Kampf. Change title to ‘Mostly Vegetarian with Adolf.’)
Add a pinch of salt and then, bit by bit, whisk in butter.
(I wonder if my haircut makes me look like a hinterlader?)
Don’t overheat fish or it will turn oily.
(Goebbels assures me that I am taller than Charlie Chaplin.)
This is a delicious, light, creamy sauce for the fish.  
(Though I know I am depressed at events, of late,  by our stupid military numbnuts, I must try to be interesting tonight for my guests, lest they think me a banal figure. I wouldn’t want to send the wrong signal to the younger generation. Make a note to scream at someone and bite knuckles.)
Serves 4.
(Blow brains out with pistol. Shoot dog first.)

Sleepytime, Baby

sleepytime, baby,
in daddy’s arms,
clouds o’er the moon, dear,
night is so dark.
wind blows the clouds, dear,
blows them away,
and moon shines for baby,
silver and grey.

(lyric & music: Dolce
From’ The Little Book of Lullaby’ 2008)



barn's burnt down;
now I can see
the moon.

~ Masahide ~
haiku

THE FINAL HURRAH


Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news,
The donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened
With that dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece
And made a profit of $998.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.
(thanks to Peter Marks)