You may notice a distinctive thread relating to horses waxing and waning throughout this issue. Last week, I went to the launch of the new Spinifex Press collection of stories, 'Cat Tales: The Meaning of Cats in Women's Lives' , edited by Susan Hawthorne, Jan Fook & Renate Klein. My partner Lin Van Hek has the lead story in the book and she read to a packed turn-out at Monty's Bar, in Fitzroy.
Poet Sandy Jeffs also read her story from the book and she's an amazing person. She celebrates her madness (for real! - she was an inmate in Larundle Mental Institution, A-Ward.) She has a great book of writing recounting her days of incarceration called 'Poems From the Madhouse.' I heard that she was on a plane, sitting next to an executive from the huge multinational pharmaceutical manufacturer, AstraZeneca, and after chatting to him for awhile, the guy ordered a couple thousand books for the company!
The cat book follows the successful, 'A
Girl's Best Friend - The Meaning of Dogs in Women's Lives'
published in 2001, also by Spinifex Press - and the next
one is going to be about HORSES, I understand. They are currently
looking for stories so if you are a woman and have had a horse
in your life - you don't necessarily even have to be a writer
- just an interesting story to tell - contact Spinifex
Press and share your Tail:
Schwarzenegger has a Serious 'Problemo' with Women
The stories published in the LA Times today are consistent with statements Arnold Schwarzenegger has made and incidents he's been involved in throughout his entire career.
If you think his personal views and behavior can be separated from his new career as a politician, think again: Schwarzenegger has not included a single woman on his economic council. In a state where there are tens of thousands of women in positions of power, there was not even one he respected enough add to his team.
Schwarzenegger has a serious problem with women, reflected in both his actions and his words. His own statements -- even just months ago -- paint a clear picture of a man who has absolutely no respect for women:
"When you see a blonde with great tits and a great ass, you say to yourself, 'Hey, she must be stupid or must have nothing else to offer', which maybe is the case many times." -- July, 2003 Esquire Magazine Interview.
"Girls became sex objects. I saw the other bodybuilders using them in this way and I thought it was all right...Whatever I thought might hold meback, I avoided. I crossed girls off my list --except as tools for my sexual needs." 1977 Memoir, Arnold: the Education of a Bodybuilder
The stories revealed in the LA Times are consistent with many other cases which have been reported. Three years ago Arnold made headlines in the U.K. after a string of sexually abusive groping incidents -- one of which took place in an on camera interview. During the on-camera incident Schwarzenegger explained, "If my wife saw this I'd be in trouble, I'd have to tell her it was a stunt double."
Apparently Schwarzenegger's behavior is an open secret in Hollywood. The same article quoted Hollywood insiders and Schwarzenegger colleagues saying that is typical behavior for the actor.
Arnold's problem with women is not a case of insensitive comments or inappropriate actions. It's an appalling record of disrespect and abuse of women. It would be a disgrace to women and a disgrace to all the people of California if Schwarzenegger became Governor.
The once-confusing recall election is now dramatically
simple: if you don't vote against the recall, Schwarzenegger will
become governor. Excerpts from today's L.A.
Women Say Schwarzenegger Groped, Humiliated
By Gary Cohn, Carla Hall and Robert W. Welkos, Times Staff Writers
"Did he rape me? No," said one woman, who described a 1980 encounter in which she said Schwarzenegger touched her breast. "Did he humiliate me? You bet he did."...
In interviews with The Times, three of the women described their surprise and discomfort when Schwarzenegger grabbed their breasts. A fourth said he reached under her skirt and gripped her buttocks. A fifth woman said Schwarzenegger groped her and tried to remove her bathing suit in a hotel elevator. A sixth said Schwarzenegger pulled her onto his lap and asked whether a certain sexual act had ever been performed on her....
One of the women in the 2001 Premiere article was British television host Anna Richardson, who accused Schwarzenegger of touching her breast. In an interview with The Times, she reiterated that account... "He kept looking at my breasts, kept asking if I worked out," she said. "I went to shake his hand and he grabbed me onto his knee and he said, 'Before you go, I want to know if your breasts are real.'" She said she looked around for help from other people in the room, but nobody came to her assistance. At that point, "he circled my left nipple with his finger and he said, 'Yes, they are real.'" She said he then let her go.... "What was more upsetting was that his people rushed to protect him and scapegoated me, and not one person came to apologize afterward."
A subsequent statement, from Schwarzenegger attorney Martin Singer, characterized Richardson as someone trying to get her "15 minutes of fame." After all, why else would she create such an "outrageous fabrication" (Singer's phrase) against a married man -- Schwarzenegger has been wed to NBC's Maria Shriver since 1986 -- a father of four, someone who ceaselessly espouses family values in the press? On the other hand, the stills of Schwarzenegger grinning as he pats Van Outen's hip or of his give-me-some-sugar-baby expression as he tries to draw Sykes close to him are a little unsettling. Was Arnold jet-lagged? Going through a midlife crisis?
One secretary, at the time in her 30s, said
she sat on a couch opposite Schwarzenegger while the actor and
her supervisor talked. When the conversation ended, the secretary
said she approached Schwarzenegger to shake his hand and say goodbye.
He remained seated,
she said, and he slipped his left hand under her skirt and grabbed her right buttock. "He just held on. He held on and said, 'You have a very nice ass.' He said, 'I'd love to work you out.'"....
Another woman, now a wife and mother in her 30s, said she also fell in Schwarzenegger's "sight lines" while working as a crew member on 'Terminator 2' in Fontana. "I was walking on the set and Arnold called out, 'Come here, you sexy devil,' and reached out and pulled me on to his lap," the woman recalled. She said he then whispered in her ear: "Have you ever had a man slide his tongue in your [anus]?" "I didn't know how to react," the woman said. "It was bizarre. What he said was so specifically sexual, it was bizarre..." After the incident, she said, she continued on her way. "I didn't fall apart," she said, but added: "It's embarrassing and degrading when you're doing a job."
But nothing in T3 bears Schwarzenegger's creative stamp more than his epic tussle with the Terminatrix, a battle that begins in a bathroom. The sequence was made longer and more elaborate thanks to the actor's largess--and his singular imagination.
"As we were rehearsing, I saw this toilet bowl," says Schwarzenegger, an impish smile crossing his face. "How many times do you get away with this--to take a woman, grab her upside down, and bury her face in a toilet bowl? I wanted to have something floating in there," he adds. Apparently, he was vetoed. "They thought it was my typical Schwarzenegger overboard," he says. "The thing is, you can do it, because in the end, I didn't do it to a woman--she's a machine! We could get away with it without being crucified by who-knows-what group."
"Arnold the Barbarian"
By John Connolly - (Excerpt from the March 2001 Premiere Magazine story.)
Once, he was a box office terminator. But now
that Arnold Schwarzenegger has lost some of his muscle in Hollywood,
stories of his boorish behavior can no longer be routinely erased.
Then again, he'd make a helluva politician. The tabloid press
got a nice Christmas present late last year when Arnold Schwarzenegger
tore through a day of publicity work in London, promoting his
latest film, The 6th Day, which had just opened there. In less
than 24 hours, the star was said to have attempted to, as high
school boys used to say, cop a little feel from three different
female talk-show hosts. The level of consternation expressed by
those who received this
hands-on treatment from the hulking, Austrian-born international superstar ranged from none whatsoever (Denise Van Outen of The Big Breakfast invites her guests to lie on a bed with her and, hence, probably has a rather elastic definition of what constitutes inappropriate behavior) to irked (on tape, Celebrity interviewer Melanie Sykes looks a little thrown off after Arnold gives her a very definite squeeze on the rib cage, directly under her right breast) to, finally, righteously indignant.
"You don't get it," says a producer who's worked with Schwarzenegger. "That's the way Arnold always behaves. For some reason, [this time] the studio or the publicists couldn't put enough pressure on the women to kill the story." Terminating bad press was once relatively easy for Schwarzenegger, who for much of the '80s and a good part of the '90s was a veritable money-making machine for the studios. And while some of his most recent films have enjoyed less-than-stellar box office performances, he is still a very huge star and one of the highest-paid actors in the world: He reportedly received $25 million for his work in the 1999 disappointment End of Days. Accordingly, Schwarzenegger films are always big-budget affairs; as such, they provide lots of jobs to lots of people and generate lots of money to lots of studio suits and other peripheral players. Arnold is not just a rich movie star; he's the straw that stirs the drinks. The sort of person, in other words, who tends to get indulged. A lot."
"The second I walked into the room," Anna Richardson says, several weeks after the incident, "he was like a dog in heat." Other stories about Schwarzenegger tend to fit her simile. During the production of the 1991 mega-blockbuster Terminator 2: Judgment Day, a producer on that film recalls Arnold's emerging from his trailer one day and noticing a fortyish female crew member, who was wearing a silk blouse. Arnold went up to the woman, put his hands inside her blouse, and proceeded to pull her breasts out of her bra. Another observer says, "I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This woman's nipples were exposed, and here's Arnold and a few of his clones laughing. I went after the woman, who had run to the shelter of a nearby trailer. She was hysterical but refused to press charges for fear of losing her job. It was disgusting."
The full Premiere article is reprinted on the web here: Premiere
Reuters story: Reuters
(Thanks to MoveOn and EILEEN CREAN)
Stuping a Horse in Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frostzenegger
Whose poem this is I think I know.
His horse is more appealing though;
He will not see me drop my drawers
As round his flank I tippy-toe.
The little horse must think I'm queer,
My fumbling to mount him from the rear.
My hands are cold, my aim astray,
His swishy tail gets in the way.
He gives his snowy butt a shake,
To neigh if there is some mistake;
Have I confused him with a sheep?
My mind is dull and numb with ache,
But there's this poem I must complete
and lines to repeat before I sleep,
and lines to repeat before I sleep.
Life is the Darnest Thing!
(Here's a great true story. Some of you may have already heard it but it still is amazing.)
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life.
"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.
At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.
"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.
"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.
"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, he graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.
His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Michael Moore's New Book, "Dude Where's My Country?"
"If you get the New York Times, you may have noticed a mysterious ad for the past four days in the Arts section. Each day, the ad simply asks a new, pointed question of Mr. Bush. They are questions from my new book, from a chapter entitled, "Seven Questions for George of Arabia." We are running one ad each day until the book comes out on Tuesday. In case you've missed them, here are the first four:
1. Dear Mr. Bush, is it true that the bin Ladens
have had business relations with you and your family off and on
for the past 25 years?
2. Dear "Mr. President," what is the "special relationship" between the Bushes and the Saudi royal family?
3. Dear "Mr. President," who attacked the United States on September 11th-a guy on dialysis from a cave in Afghanistan, or our friends, the Saudi Arabians?
4. Dear "Mr. President," why did you allow a private Saudi jet to fly around the U.S. in the days after September 11th and pick up members of the bin Laden family and then fly them out of the country without a proper investigation by the FBI?
In my book, I provide some of the answers and all of the background evidence. It is astounding, and it is criminal. Will there be one Democrat in Congress willing to begin the investigation? "(More Moore:) michaelmoore.com
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Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend, "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"And what does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that time is about a quarter past 3. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke,
"Someone has stolen our tent."
(thanks to Maireid Sullivan.)
By Roger Mellie
aardvark v. US To shag; bonk; go horizontal jogging.
a bit n. Some of the other (qv), but not necessarily an entire portion (qv).
ACAB All Coppers Are Bastards. Popular forehead tattoo.
acorn n. That little bell end(qv) from which tall oaks grow... when you get wood (qv).
Admiral Browning n. Chocolate log; that which sinks the Bismarck (qv).
afterburner n. Of farts and farting, a pyroflatulatory anal announcement; blue streak (qv).
aim Archie at the Armitage euph. Urinate. Also point Percy at the porcelain.
air bags n. Breasts.
air biscuit n. Fart; botty burp. Floating body of trouser gas. As in "Could you open a window. I think somebody has launched an air biscuit".
air your guts v. To puke.
airing the orchid v. Beating about the bush; gusset typing (qv). (Orchid is also Greek for testicle).
almond n. 1. rhyming slang Penis; cock. From 'almond rock'. 2. Original rhyming slang Socks. 3. An imperial measure of semen, approximately one stomach full.
almond flakes See mammary dandruff.
(Just a few examples under A - you can read the complete Encyclopaedia of Profanity here:
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
In the US Public Service, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies is often employed, such as:
1. Change riders.
2. Buy a stronger whip.
3. Do nothing: "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses".
4. Visit other countries to see how they ride dead horses.
5. Perform a productivity study to see if lighter riders improve the dead
6. Hire a contractor to ride the dead horse.
7. Harness several dead horses together in an attempt to increase the speed.
8. Provide additional funding and/or training to increase the dead
9. Appoint a committee to study the horse and assess how dead it actually is.
10. Re-classify the dead horse as "living-impaired".
11. Develop a Strategic Plan for the management of dead horses.
12. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses.
13. Modify existing standards to include dead horses.
14. Declare that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line than many other horses.
15. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
(thanks to Maireid Sullivan.)
FOOD FOR THOUGHTLESSNESS
I've been getting a fairly regular amount of feedback complaining that there isn't enough thought given to the vegetarians who receive my newsletter. So to remedy that situation I thought I'd pose the following:
A Question for Vegetarians
Is eating placenta considered eating meat?
After giving birth, most animals eat their placenta. In the Western world it is accepted that eating placenta will reduce the risk of post-natal depression. This is because the organ is rich in minerals and vitamins, particularly B6, which can help to fight depression. I've known many vegetarians who prepare and eat placenta after birth, the placenta being the only form of meat that does not involve the slaughter of an animal.
The practice of eating placentas was fashionable in the 1970s on the back-to-the earth communes, but its popularity has since declined. Those people who agree with the practice of eating placentas argue that it is a perfectly normal thing to do, whilst those against are asking if a placenta belongs to the mother or the baby? If to the latter, this might imply cannibalism. However, during pregnancy the placenta is part of the mother, existing for the specific purpose of nourishing the baby until birth, after which it is expelled, ceasing to be part of the her.
While living in Hawaii, in the mid-70s, I attended a home birth where the midwife prepared and served the mother's placenta immediately following the birth. It was served like a pate with Quail eggs - I had a small portion - as it was primarily for the mother - and it tasted fantastic.
In 1978, in Berkeley, California, after the
home birth of one of my own children, I prepared the placenta
with Quail eggs in this manner as well, and everyone present at
the birth had some on a biscuit and loved it. However, it is customary
that guests should only have a taste out of curiosity - as it's
primary function is to give strength back to the mother of the
baby that's just been born.
Now, I've gotten that out of the way, the following section is for Carnivores Only! So a word of warning to vegetarians, read no further!! (Let no one accuse me of not running a fair ship here.) I don't expect anyone to actually try these recipes but I thought you might be interested to see what ethnic people who live overseas eat.
Testine di Agnello al Forno
- Baked Lamb's Heads
Here's a good way to become an unforgettable cook...
2 lambs' heads
4 abundant teaspoons of breadcrumbs
lots of chopped parsley
4 pinches of oregano
grated Romano cheese
Wash the heads thoroughly. Dry them. Remove the cartilage from the bottom. Leave the eyes and tongue and cut each head in half lengthwise. Put them into a greased baking dish with the inside of each half facing upwards. Sprinkle the surface and the cavities with breadcrumbs, parsley, oregano, Romano Cheese, salt and pepper. Spread oil over everything. Bake in the oven at 350 F for one hour. Serve on warmed plates with new potatoes baked with the meat.
French, Italians, Swiss, Japanese and Quebecois
in Canada are horse meat aficionados.
The French appetite for horse meat dates from the Battle of Eylau in 1807, when the surgeon-in-chief of Napoleon's Army, Baron Dominique-Jean Larry, advised the starving troops to eat the flesh of dead battlefield horses. The cavalry used breastplates as cooking pans. They also used whatever spices they could get their hands on. It continues today!
Horsemeat is lean, protein-rich, finely textured, bright red, firm, and more so horses are immune to BSE (Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy). Tough meat cuts must be cooked long enough to tenderise connective tissue (collagen), or marinated before cooking to ensure both flavour and tenderness.
English will not consume horsemeat. To them, horses are companions, not food, the way most of us think of dogs!
Yet Chinese and Korean eat dog meat and consider it a delicacy. One man's protein is another man's pet!
Today horsemeat at least in Quebec, particularly in Montreal is very popular. Butchers specializing in horsemeat are busier than ever due to the BSE fears spreading rapidly.
Horse butchers in Montreal sell minced meat, steaks, sausages, and brochettes. All claim horsemeat to be superior quality from a sanitary perspective. In Europe, horse butchers are allowed to sell only horsemeat, as is the case in Quebec.
Americans will not touch horsemeat, and find it offensive to consume it.
Dark red, with a slightly acrid smell, and sweet tasting, horsemeat is usually very tender, so tender that there are practically no cuts that call for slow cooking. However, horsemeat is also very fragile and easily contaminated, especially when ground. Though not in high demand Canada, horsemeat is a healthy choice. The consumption of horsemeat is very low and butcher shops carrying horsemeat are rare. Horses are slaughtered according to the same sanitary standards as beef. Horsemeat cuts are labelled the same as beef.
Herbs and spices complement the delicate flavour of horsemeat, especially tarragon, basil, rosemary, thyme, oregano, chervil, parsley, mustard, ground pepper, and of course, garlic.
Cooking horsemeat calls for some precautions. Because it is lean, the meat can easily become tough and dry. Horsemeat can be used in any recipe calling for beef. Because it is lean, horsemeat should not be frozen.
This recipe comes from Switzerland:
Cut lean horsemeat in 1-in. cubes. Each guest skewers an individual cube and deep fries it in a pot of hot oil placed in the center of the table. Serve with bowls of assorted meat sauces, including aioli sauce.
Roulade of Horsemeat
Ingredients for four- six people:
- 800 gr. of minute steaks of horse meat (not
- 300 gr. of tomato sauce
- a glass of extra virgin olive oil
- a glass of red wine
- 2 or 3 slices of sheep's milk
- cheese garlic
- as you need parsley
- salt and pepper
Flavour each steak of meat with pepper, salt , parsley, thin layers of garlic and small cubes of cheese; roll up the steaks and close them with one or more toothpicks. Put in a high pan the oil with the sliced onion and the meat making it brown, wet the meat with the red wine and let it evaporate. Join the tomato sauce and cook it for two hours. It is possible to serve the meat with a green salad or with in oil vegetable. The sauce is very good to season the orecchiette too.
SUGGESTED WINE: Red "Primitivo" of Putignano or red of the
Salento; also the red of Cerignola.
Heat oil in a roasting pan; sear the meat on
Roast in a 180°C (350°F) oven according to the time needed for the size of the roast.
Baste occasionally with the drippings to keep from drying.
When almost done, insert a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the meat, not touching fat or bone. Remove from the oven when done and cover with aluminium foil, making slits to release steam. Let stand about 15 minutes to allow the juices to settle for more tender meat. This method ensures uniform cooking.
This method is perfect for tender cuts that must be quickly seared to remain tender and juicy cooking method: Season with pepper and garlic. Oven broil or barbecue over medium heat, turning once with tongs.
Season without salting and brown the meat on
all sides in a lightly oiled pan for more flavourful meat.
Add 250 to 500 mL (1 to 2 cups) liquid (wine, bouillon, or a blend of both).
Add aromatic vegetables (onions, leeks, carrots, etc.) and a bouquet garni; pepper.
Cover and simmer (or oven braise at 180°C/350°F) until the meat is tender.
Coat meat with a mix of flour, salt and pepper
and brown in a small amount of hot oil in a casserole dish.
Add onions and seasonings to taste. Mix well.
Add enough liquid to cover meat. 1 L/454 g (4 c/1 lb)
Simmer covered or braise in a 160°C/ 325°F oven approx.1-1/2 hours. Add cubed vegetables (potatoes, carrots and mushrooms) and cook another 30 minutes.
Horsemeat is extremely low in fat (3%) with (4 mg/100 g) of iron.
Its greatest advantage is that it has very little fat and is low in cholesterol.
Highly recommended for people who are in intensive training or anaemic.
Picula Ad Caval
The recipe is piacentina -- from Piacenza, which isn't far from Parma, and is drawn from Alessandro Molinari Pradelli's Grande Libro della Cucina Italiana. It will serve 6:
· 2 1/4 pounds (1 k) ground horsemeat
· 2 onions, minced
· 2 1/2 ounces (60 g) ground cured lard or pancetta
· 1 tablespoon olive oil
· 1 glass dry white wine
· 6 ripe tomatoes, blanched, peeled, seeded, chopped and drained
· 2 bell peppers, ribbed and seeded, then diced
· 2 tablespoons minced fresh herbs (basil, sage and rosemary in proportions to taste)
· 1 clove garlic, minced
· Salt & freshly ground pepper
Begin by heating the oil, lard and onion in a skillet; sauté until the onion has become golden (don't let it really brown), then add the horsemeat and brown it, stirring it about frequently. When it has browned, sprinkle in the glass of wine, reduce the heat to barely a simmer, cover, and cook for at least an hour. Mix in the chopped tomatoes and diced peppers and continue cooking a half hour longer.
10 minutes before you remove the dish from the fire, sprinkle the minced herbs over everything. Serve it hot. Mr. Pradelli notes that some prefer to use broth rather than wine as the liquid, while I would suggest that this will work quite nicely with polenta..