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Friday September 26th, 2008

Well, a real blues, you don’t mix that with nothing. You just play the blues.
Now a real blues, a Mississippi blues, you just change chords when you feel like it
and you play what you feel.

Big Bill Broozney

Hi folks,

I’d like to let everyone know that the newsletter will be on a three week hiatus, from Oct 30th, while I am in the USA visiting my family over there and doing a few choice shows.
 I now have a concert in my hometown, being organized by my sister, at the legendary Hellriegel’s Inn, on Halloween!  (I’m planning on coming as Joe Dolce. That ought to give them a fright.)  John F Kennedy spoke at Hellriegel’s when he was campaigning for the presidency in 1960. (I was there! The button above is from that event.) The Inn has an amazing history going back to the 1700s when the property was originally owned by a veteran of the American Revolution, Benjamin Blish. Later it became a Cherry Farm, dairy farm, country club -  even operated by the Cleveland Jewish Orphan Asylum in 1918.  In 1928, it became the restaurant and night club. My audience should be a mix of strangers, family and old childhood friends and schoolmates. Talk about nerves.

I will be finishing my trip to the States with two beautiful concerts in the Sonoma-Bay area of California, along with Alicia Bay Laurel and the cast of the play, MorningStar,  (which is based on the free open land commune started by Lou Gottlieb, the bass player of the iconic 60s folk group, The Limeliters.) These concerts promise to be a mix of retro, what-goes-around-comes-around, back-to-the-earth bohemia, psychedelic-lightshow, age-of-aquarius peace and love splendour! I can’t wait. I imagine the concert I will be performing for my Painesville family and friends will be quite different for the one I will be performing for my Californian communal comrades! But I am up to the task. There’s an old adage from the feminist movement that comes in handy: the personal is the political. For my hometown, I think I will start things local and personal and then take it outwards to the political, and for my Californian shows, I will do it in reverse. With a sing-a-long thrown in whenever I see someone nodding off.

Finally, just a reminder for all my readers in the Michigan area. I will be part of the guest staff at the Lamb's Retreat for Songwriters, Nov 6-9 in Harbor Springs.

Joining me on the songwriting board will be:
Annie Gallup  
Jon Vezner  
Jim Photoglo  
Chuck Brodsky
Wil Maring
Dalis Allen
And of course, the artistic director,
John D. Lamb
(winner of the 2007 Detroit Music Award for
Outstanding Acoustic/Folk Recording.)

The dates are:
Fri Nov. 6 – Sunday Nov 9, 2008
at The Birchwood Inn, Harbor Springs.

Have a look at a little of last year’s Lamb's Retreat for Songwriters 2007 on youtube

Register by mail  - or online at
Springfed Arts E-Store  -


Home Remedy Tip: For mild acid reflux and a basic alkaline boost.
One half teas ordinary off-the-shelf baking soda (not baking powder!)
stirred in 30 mls filtered water (or colloidal silver water)
and a squeeze of lemon juice.

Forget the drugs. This is cheap, it works and it also helps alkalize your body.
I have this in the morning (brush your teeth with it!) and before bed.

Many laboratories keep a bottle of baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) within easy reach, because it is amphoteric, neutralizing acids .
(FYI: The three components for Alka Seltzer, the well-known classic remedy for headache, indigestion, gas, stomach cramps, and heartburn are:
aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid, C9H8O4), sodium bicarbonate (NaHCO3), and citric acid (C6H8O7).
By combining baking soda and lemon juice, you get two out of the three without the harmful aspirin.
For the many other uses for Bicarbonate of Soda, see:

Warning: This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor.


Hi Joe,
RE: APDS exhibition cancelled
thanks for publishing my earlier note about the arms expo which was to be held in Adelaide on Remembrance Day this year. Some of your readers might be interested to know it was cancelled for fear of the large protests and civil disobedience actions which were being planned against it. That was a victory for those in the peace movement organising against it. I also found out when
talking about the issue that many people do read your newsletter, and heard about it there! In the absence of an arms fair to protest against, a Peace and Remembrance Festival is being organised for sunday 9th Nov , in Elder Park.  Soursob Bob

Dear Joe,
I have to tell you one of my childhood memories back from 1981 when I was 10 regarding Shaddap You Face. My dad and I were all depressed because my mom had left us. I was also loosing my ability to walk because of a spinal cord problem. One evening, my dad and I drove to a local Dennys to get something to eat and neither of us were talking because we were so depressed. Your song, "Shaddap You Face" came on the radio and we sat there laughing and singing to it. All through that meal at Dennys we were trying to remember the words to sing it and were laughing. Subsequently, anytime something went wrong, my dad would say, "It's a not so bad--Shaddap-a you face" and we'd laugh. Through the years, I remember the song and it always reminds me of that night and makes me smile! Also, I took the advice not to stay out late playing pool. I did not flunk school and am now an Electrical Engineer! Thank you for such a good song and nice memory! Ed

its always a great joy when my name appears in your newsletter.. robert johnsons brother hahha now i have heard it all. just thought i would introduce you to wilson picketts canadian cousin,  al johnson

Hello mr D.
RE: Helen Razor/Steven Berkoff Interview Last Week’s Newsletter
Funny...I listened to the helen Razor/steven berkoff interview and just now I came across Ernie Dingo calling some dj a 'wanker'. I don't mind these people having a go at the djs. They are annoying and they really do say stupid stuff. I exercise my freedom of choice by not listening to them but I guess if they're going to invite you on for an interview, why not say what you think. It can only fuck your promotion opportunity or enhance it. Life is a gamble. Its not necessary to be rude to people, I know this but its not necessary for every dj to talk to us like we're morons. Granted, Helens vocabulary far exceeds mine but the tone in her voice is ....well, in my opinion, fuckin annoying. Mr Berkoff didn't want to play her game, I can understand this. Interesting that its happened twice in recent times....... Just thought I'd share that observation. cheers to you,  katus, Terrafolk

Hi Joe,
big props to you for your amazing energy levels pumping out that newsletter week after week....I do enjoy it.  ..I also have a negative reaction to Helen Razor....the surname site didn't tell me anything new....all the Sheehans are in Limerick and Clare (or else Ballarat.).  keep up the good work, cheers Marni Sheehan

Dear Joe,
My lovely wife Nicola and I were at the La Mama Benefit Bash and saw you and Lin perform wonderfully.  Stayed long enough to hear the gratifying news that the funds have been gathered in. Well done to you  all. It was a great night of varied and enjoyable talent.
     Also hugely enjoying the newsletter. Apart from prompting me to attend the La Mama event, you've inspired me to return to the ukulele. Well not a REAL ukulele because I have a wonderful Martin tiple that I've strung with baritone uke strings so I can get myself  back in the mind set. Wish me luck.
    On another matter, The Limeliters were my holy grail of exemplary musicians and singers in those years when I properly started to concentrate on guitar and harmonies. I became aware of them because of  their THROUGH CHILDREN'S EYES album and that was how I came to realise  how wonderful a song MORNINGTOWN RIDE is.  I "Seekerised" it for the group, changing the feel to dotted and harmonising it for our range of voices. We were lucky enough to meet its writer Malvina Reynolds when the group toured the USA in 1967, by which time we had had a huge hit with it in the UK and Australia. She was living in San Jose and Judith [Durham] and I visited her cosy home for a chat and a cup of tea.  
    Barbershop harmony, The Four Freshmen's harmonic structure and Brian Wilson's, he being such a fan of The Four Freshmen, for The Beach Boys, to me are all variations of what we ended up with having such a strong  lead voice as Judith's, together with a basso range provided by Athol.  Of course when Bruce sang lead on some of the stuff, well that was another story altogether. I loved the moments when Judith and I were both harmonising above Bruce like some of the Crosby, Stills and Nash passages.
   Many thanks and hope to see you, or be on the same bill as you, at a festival or other gig soon.  Keith Potger (The Seekers)

 (Note: Keith, Thanks for that kind email! I passed the comment on to Lin and she lit up, too. My close friend, and first unofficial music teacher, the late Dr Lou Gottlieb, of The Limeliters, once said that the only thing a performer - unlike a competitive athlete - needs to hear after a performance is praise. The critique and advice can wait until the cool light of another day.  Lou and I used to have extended correspondence before he died about the similarities between the dotted rhythm and tri-partite rhythm 3/8 or 6/8 which was so common during Bach's time and the entire baroque era. We came to the agreement that they were practically interchangable - that you could play Bach's great 6/8 pieces in dotted rhythms, for contemporary arrangements - and that you could also do the reverse -  eg 'Shaddap You Face,’ is dotted rhythm but I wrote a baroque countermelody in 3/8 once as an arrangement for Pavrotti, which he never used! -  What is also interesting is that gospel music uses dotted rhythms, and the Lutheran hymns, from which many of Bach’s pieces AND contemporary gospel tunes themselves are taken, use the tri-partite. This argument simply gives some lateral thinking when it comes to arranging pieces.
    By the way, I often use The Seekers as an example in my choral workshops of a harmony group that layered its harmonies in a baroque manner, as Bach also used to do, by putting the melody line in the top part  -ie Judith-  and the harmonies underneath, rather than the folk-pop method  -read: Male, or The Byrds method - of having the melody in the male tenor part and then harmonizing a third above and below the melody. Your way - and Bach's - is much stronger at making the melody line clear and memorable. Of course, you need a woman lead singer - or castrato! in the band to do that. But it can be done with a high male tenor and low men's harmonies. It's an interesting resonance when you keep men's voices down low below the melody.
     It is good news that LaMama will continue. The Old Gal has helped both Lin and I expand our abilities and hopefully can do so for another generation of artists.)

Bill Clinton Gets Why Palin is Hot

Former US President Bill Clinton says he understands why Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is popular in the American heartland: because people relate to her.
"I come from Arkansas, I get why she's hot out there, why she's doing well," said Clinton, who supports the Democratic ticket headed by Barack Obama .
Speaking to reporters before his Clinton Global Initiative meeting, the former president described Palin's appeal by adding, "People look at her, and they say, 'All those kids. Something that happens in everybody's family. I'm glad she loves her daughter and she's not ashamed of her. Glad that girl's going around with her boyfriend. Glad they're going to get married."'
Clinton said voters would think, "I like that little Down syndrome kid. One of them lives down the street. They're wonderful children. They're wonderful people. And I like the idea that this guy does those long-distance races. Stayed in the race for 500 miles (804km) with a broken arm. My kind of guy."
Palin, the governor of Alaska, became an overnight star when Republican presidential candidate John McCain tapped her for his running mate. Her family, including her Down syndrome baby, Trig, her pregnant 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, and her husband, Todd, four-time winner of the 2,000 mile (3,218km) Iron Dog snowmobile race, have garnered intense media interest.
"I get this," Clinton said. "My view is ... why say, ever, anything bad about a person? Why don't we like them and celebrate them and be happy for her elevation to the ticket? And just say that she was a good choice for him and we disagree with them?"
The global initiative, a project of Clinton's foundation, will hold its four-day annual meeting in Manhattan starting on Tuesday.
After that, Clinton said he will be busy campaigning for Obama.

Over Half of Americans Believe in Guardian Angels

WASHINGTON (AFP) - More than half of Americans believe they are protected by a guardian angel and two in three are certain that heaven exists, according to a study of US religious beliefs released Thursday. The survey, conducted by researchers at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, asked 350 questions about religion to 1,648 adults across the country.
Fifty-five percent said they believed they were protected from harm by a guardian angel, a figure that researcher Christopher Bader said came as a surprise.
"To find out that more than half of the American public believes this was shocking to me. I did not expect that," he said.
Sixty-seven percent said they were "absolutely sure" heaven exists and 17 percent believed it "probably" does. Seventy-three percent of Americans believe in hell, it found.
Women are more likely than men to believe in heaven (68 percent to 56 percent), blacks more than whites (86 percent to 60 percent), southerners more than easterners (76 percent to 50 percent).
Also, political party was linked to religious beliefs, with 77 percent of Republicans saying they believed in heaven, compared to 54 percent of Democrats.
Those Americans who say they do not believe in God -- four percent -- as well as those who say they have no religion -- 11 percent -- were very close the figures in the 2005 survey.
In all 45 percent of Americans say they have had at least two religious encounters in their lives, the survey found, and conservative Protestants were more likely than Catholics or Jews to report religious or mystical experiences.

What I’m Watching This Week

The Berlin Decision, starring Jason Scott Lee. The events of this movie take place 20 years after the first film. I thought the first film, with Jean Claude Van Damnit sucked but this sequel is really good, thanks to the acting and martial arts skills of Jason Scott Lee.

TERMINATOR: SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES – DVD series that revolves around the lives of characters Sarah and John Connor, following the events of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Lena Headey (from '300') replaces Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor and Summer Glau, (from Firefly) is Cameron, a good Terminator sent back from the year 2027 to protect John Connor.

 - written and directed by Brian De Palma - a fictional drama loosely based on the Mahmudiyah Killings and rape of a fourteen year old in Iraq, in 2006. This film, which is a companion to an earlier film by De Palma, 1989's Casualties of War, was shot in Jordan.
     This film failed miserably at the box office and has the Rightwingers out for De Palma’s head, some even calling for him to be charged with treason. But if you will spend some time looking at the links at the bottom of the article and the eye-witness accounts of the real event, you might get an idea of what he was intending. He did NOT want to make a sanitized version of the events. He wanted it to be an outrage to watch. The men who perpetrated this crime – and the government who I assure you would have buried this story if they could have – should be tarred and feathered for allowing this to happen. This was a pack rape of a fourteen year old, and the murder of her entire family, attempting to cover it up, by US soldiers in Iraq. What kind of organization incubates this kind of behaviour? Time once again to do some serious house cleaning in the US Army and stop using Patriotism as an excuse for criminal behaviour.

     Redaction generally refers to the editing or blacking out of text in a document, or to the result of such an effort. It is intended to allow the selective disclosure of information in a document while keeping other parts of the document secret.
     De Palma has been criticized for not including the fact that all of the soldiers involved in the real-life Mahmudiyah Killings were eventually prosecuted for the rape and murders. The film ends with an official investigation underway, and does not depict a trial or conviction. Kurt Loder wrote that "all five of the soldiers involved were arrested and charged, and three have been tried and sentenced to 90, 100 and 110 years in prison."  (Note: I would have preferred to see these good ol’ boys spend 90, 100, and 110 years in the cemetery.) In addition, at the time of the film's release, the alleged ringleader, Pfc. Steven Dale Green, was being tried in a federal court in Kentucky, reportedly facing the death penalty.
     De Palma himself has commented "the right wing is gonna come at this film. I mean, I've done something that is, it just can't be done. You can't ever say anything critical of the troops."

The real story:

Mahmudiyah Killings
The Al-Mahmudiyah killings occurred on 12 March 2006, in a house to the southwest of Yusufiyah, a village to the west of the town of Al-Mahmudiyah, which is south of Baghdad, Iraq. Five United States Army soldiers of the 502nd Infantry Regiment were charged with the crimes: Sgt. Paul E. Cortez, Spc. James P. Barker,  Pfc. Jesse V. Spielman, Pfc. Brian L. Howard, and Pfc. Steven D. Green (whom the Army discharged before the crime's discovery). A fourteen-year-old girl Abeer Qasim Hamza was gang-raped and murdered, after her family was murdered: her mother, Fakhriyah Taha Muhsin, 34; father, Qasim Hamza Raheem, 45; and five-year-old sister Hadeel Qasim Hamza. As of August 2007 Barker, Spielman and Cortez were sentenced for this crime.

Journal Set to Publish Bin Laden's Poetry

Osama bin Laden is one of the world's most wanted men but he is now also about to be a published poet. His poems were discovered on audio cassettes in his Afghanistan compound after the 2001 attacks, and an American academic who has studied the work says the Al Qaeda leader is a skilled wordsmith. Some of his work is due to be published next week in the Language and Communications Journal. Professor Flagg Miller of the University of California says bin Laden has a vast repertoire of poems.
"There was a variety of occasions he delivered this poetry ... so they were sometimes given to large audiences when he was recruiting for jihad in Afghanistan and afterwards, and other times they are delivered at weddings, and far more personal contexts," he said.
Professor Miller says the September 11 mastermind was regarded as a skilled poet; his work was taped and passed around like pop songs.
In an excerpt of a speech given in 1996 on the heights of Tora Bora, Afghanistan , as he was taking on the United States in first declaration of war against the US, he starts the poem: "A youth who plunges into the smoke of war, smiling. He hunches forth, staining the blades of lances red. May God not let my eye stray from the most eminent humans, should they fall."
More than 1,500 audio cassette tapes were reportedly taken in 2001 from bin Laden's compound in Afghanistan . They feature scholars and Al Qaeda chiefs as well as bin Laden himself. And Professor Miller thinks he is probably still writing poetry wherever he may be.
"It's just part of tribal culture, wherever he is he's very likely in touch with tribesmen who respect kind of these oral traditions, and respect a sense of someone who can use his knowledge of history, of language to connect with the common man," he said.
"Now, if he's in Afghanistan or Pakistan , the languages are not going to be Arabic, at least not among the wider populace, so one could speculate how widely his message is getting out."
Dr Nijmeh Hajjar from the University of Sydney is not surprised that bin Laden might have been writing poetry.
"Poetry is the first artistic expression in Arabic culture, and in Arabic language," he said.
"So we can say that actually Arabic poetry is the first Arabic art, so the word is very important in Arabic culture, and it is expected actually that it is natural that any Arab who knows the language well and who knows how to use the language to be a poet."
The tapes are now at Yale University, where they are being cleaned and digitised, but some unnamed academics are reported to be unimpressed that the tapes are being published at all, comparing them to violent videos regarded too obscene to broadcast.

(Note: The Joe Dolce Newsletter was able to get an advance copy of three of Bin Laden’s haiku which I am planning on setting to music for castrato and lagerphone. Here they are:


fragrance of airplane fuel
and camel droppings . . .

how did this dung beetle
get into my beard?


jihad is merely dahij
spelled backwards . . .

my head hurts from
too much bad Afghani weed.


mysterious woman in black
squinting at me through
shuttlecock grill of burqa . . .

big ankled mama
won't fool this old muhjadeen.


A burqini (or burkini) swimsuit is a type of swimsuit for women designed by Lebanese Australian Aheda Zanetti under the company name Ahiida. The suit covers the whole body except the face, the hands and the feet (enough to preserve Muslim modesty), whilst being light enough to enable swimming. It was described as the perfect solution for Muslim women who want to swim but are uncomfortable about "revealing" bathing suits; see sartorial hijab for more information on modest Muslim dress. It looks rather like a full-length wetsuit with built-in hood, but somewhat looser and made of swimsuit material instead of rubber.

Best Pool Shot Ever by a White Chick....
(thanks to Chuck Mitchell)

Age is not an issue when it comes to rock 'n' roll

BERLIN, Sept 22 (Reuters) - If anyone thought the Rolling Stones were beginning to get on in years, another British band are proving age is not an issue when it comes to rock 'n' roll.
The Zimmers, whose lead singer is 91, has just celebrated the launch of its 14-song debut album "Lust for Life" in a Berlin shopping center, a rock show that made the front page of many German newspapers at the weekend.
The group's manager, Dave Palmer, said party-goers have given The Zimmers an enthusiastic reception.
"We're old but we're not dead," Palmer told Reuters after the concert.
Their new CD features cover versions of songs by Eric Clapton, The Beatles and Frank Sinatra. Also included is their now famous rendition of The Who's "My Generation," which The Zimmers recorded in 2007 when their average age was 78.
Palmer said his group, whose average age is over 80, chose Germany for the launch of its new album because the audience in Germany often show more respect for the elderly than at home in Britain.
"The German audiences are so much more respectful than the British," Palmer said. "We believe the British are ageist and don't treat us with the dignity that we deserve."

Named after the Zimmer Frame -- a common walking aid for the elderly and disabled -- the 50-member British group is in the process of becoming a registered charity. Two of the band members are 102, including Buster Martin.
The band was brought together by a documentary filmmaker who was concerned about the plight of senior citizens.
While they hope their performances will draw attention to the isolation and abandonment felt by many elderly people, they are also determined to have a good time, Palmer said.
"Organisers of one of the after-show parties in Germany even relocated the event to their hotel so that they wouldn't have to stay up too late," Palmer said.
Lead singer Alf Carretta, 91, joked about the group member's age in comments to German media.
"Hopefully we won't be chased around by groupies," Carretta said. "We can't run very fast anymore."
Several of The Zimmers have been friends for 30 years -- they used to play bingo at a club in London together every week until the company that ran it shut down, leaving them without a hobby to bring them together.
Their first recording, a 2007 rendition of The Who's "My Generation," was a huge hit on YouTube and the song, recorded at the legendary Abbey Road studios, reached 26 in the British pop charts.

the DOLCE experience

Making Basic OntologicalAssumptions
Nicola Guarino
Laboratory for Applied Ontology Institute for Cognitive Sciences and Technology,
National Research Council
Trento, Italy

1. Role of axiomatic, foundational ontologies
2. Towards a library of foundational ontologies
3. Formal Ontology: basic choices available
4. The DOLCE choices
5. DOLCE axioms
6. DOLCE applications and extensions

(Note: While I’m on the topic of this world-wide conspiracy of Dolces, here’s the latest from publicist, Joe Dolce, Mach II, whom I covered a couple of weeks ago.)

Heather Mills Makeover

After being dubbed as a ‘gold-digger’, Heather Mills is undergoing a ‘fluffy’ makeover to bring out her ‘softie’ side.
And the man behind the change is US publicist Joe Dolce who has told her that she needs to be more positive and caring.
Heather earned herself a bad reputation when her career as a former porn model came to light, and the much-publicized divorce fight she had with McCartney has not helped her reputation either.
Stepping up to help Heather in being “re-branded”, Dolce gave her advice on what she needs to do to turn her life around.
“He has impressed on Heather the need to stop making negative comments,” the Daily Star quoted an insider, as saying.
“No one is interested in a bitter ex-wife, particularly one who has walked away with nearly 50 million dollars of her husband’s money. Heather has agreed to show her fluffy, caring side at all times,” the insider added.
The advice seems to have sunk into Heather, 40, as she was photographed with a giant cuddly duck.
Her next step was to fight against animal cruelty, helping PETA, by banning anything that might be turned into meat.


Red Quinoa

I made this for the first time last week and have fallen in love. How could something as good as this exist for so long without my being aware of it?

Quinoa (pronounced “keen-wa”)  originated in the Andes, where it has been an important food for 6,000 years. The Incas, who held the crop to be sacred, referred to quinoa as "chisaya mama" or "mother of all grains", and it was the Inca emperor who would traditionally sow the first seeds of the season using 'golden implements'. Quinoa was scorned by the Spanish colonists as "food for Indians," and even actively suppressed, due to its status within indigenous non-Christian ceremonies.
Quinoa is considered by many Jews to be kosher for Passover, if properly processed. Quinoa is highly regarded for its nutritional value, as its protein content is very high (12%–18%). Unlike wheat or rice (which are low in lysine), quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it an unusually complete protein source. It is a good source of dietary fiber and phosphorus and is high in magnesium and iron. Quinoa is gluten free and considered easy to digest. Because of all these characteristics, quinoa is being considered as a possible crop in NASA's Controlled Ecological Life Support System for long-duration manned spaceflights.

   1 cup red (or white) quinoa
      1 1/2 cups cold water
      1/2 tsp salt

Cooking Directions:
1.    Soak the quinoa first for 15 min - 1/2 hour in it's cooking pot. Soaking loosens up the outer coating of saponin, which can give a bitter taste if not removed.
   2.    If you don't have time for long soaking, use hot water and soak for five minutes, then give an extra rinse or two
   3.    Stir the quinoa with your hand, and carefully pour off the rinsing water, using a seive at the last.
   4.    Put the quinoa back in the pot, add more water, and rinse again two or three more times, until the rinse water is pretty clear
   5.    Drain quinoa well in the seive.
   6.    Place quinoa in the pot, add the water & salt.
   7.    Bring to a boil, cover with a tight fitting lid, and turn the heat down to simmer.
   8.    Cook for 20 minutes.
   9.    Remove from heat and allow to sit five minutes with lid on.

Fluff gently with a fork and serve. Quinoa is delicious on it's own or in any recipe you can imagine. Look it up on the net. I like it simply with a little flax seed oil and some sea salt.


Once a group of thieves stole a rare diamond
Larger than a goose egg.
Its value could have easily bought
One thousand horses
And two thousand acres
Of the most fertile land in Shiraz.
The thieves got drunk that night
To celebrate their great haul,
But during the course of the evening
The effects of the liquor
And their mistrust of each other grew to such
An extent
They decided to divide the stone into pieces.
Of course then the Priceless became lost.
Most everyone is lousy at math
And does that to God -
Dissects the Indivisible One,
By thinking, saying,
"This is my Beloved, he looks like this
And acts like that,
How could that moron over there
~ Hafiz ~  
(The Gift -- versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

Newsletter Archive  and  Recipe Index

NEWS!  Joe Dolce new CD, 'The Wind Cries Mary,' chosen as ALBUM OF THE YEAR by 97.1 FM, 3MDR Radio, Melbourne!

'Dolce is no slouch! Though I have still not forgiven him for writing 'Shaddap You Face', there's no denying his talent for composition or his dazzling musicianship.' Chris Boyd, The Melbourne Times.

'Maybe you recall Shaddap You Face as just a novelty song of 1980, but Dolce's hugely successful singalong was more than that. It summed up the change in Australia when multiculturalism displaced the derogatory label 'New Australian', when colourful Immigration minister Al Grassby regularly graced the national stage, and SBS was about to take to the air. It caught a social current and gave voice to it in about three minutes.' Sydney Morning Herald

' . . .as everyone out there knows, spending a fortune on champagne and an expensive hotel room doesn't necessarily mean the sex will be any good. eg. I had probably the most intense orgasm of my entire life in the back of a plumber's van while the radio played 'Shaddap You Face'. Latrobe RABELAIS .

Listen to some excerpts via the link below:
Joe Dolce Electronic Press Kit


The Flag-a Pole  
 Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
 A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing.
Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the fook'n height of this flagpole, but we don't have a fook'n ladder.'  
 The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag,  loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down.
She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches.
Then, she walked off.
Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the fook'n height and she gives us the fook'n length.'
(thanks to Jim Testa)

(Note: Some of you might recall that I recently got some criticism, from an Irish-American, for telling Irish jokes. I haven’t heard from the blondes yet. So, for the folks that find Irish jokes in poor taste,  here is the same joke told in a surreal variation.)

 Two Italian midgets were standing next to an extremely tall Irishman, looking up.
 A flagpole hops by and asked them what they were doing.
Giovanni replied, 'We-a supposed to be-a find-a the vafanculo height of this-a vafanculo Irishman, but we no have-a  no vafanculo ladder.'  
 The flagpole took out an adjustable shoehorn from its pocket,  removed the Irishman’s shoes and laid him down flat.
It got a tape measure out of its pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that the Irishman was 6 foot 6 inches.
Then, it hopped off.
Giovanni said to Luigi, 'Isn't that just-a like a vafanculo flag-a pole! We need-a the sumbitch-a height and it gives us the sumbitch-a length.'