Cadence

The cadence of life flows through us all.

Soundtrack

Cadence

Written by Edward Shaddow

One mile, No sweat

Two miles, Better yet

Three miles, Gotta run

Four miles, To the sun - Marine Cadence Call

I still get up at four am to run. These days I run alone, quietly through the parks and still-sleeping streets. Occasionally, I hear the faint calls from ones of the local cadence groups, low voices synced in unison, their drill leader calling on ahead. Life is different now, simpler, precious. Sometimes I get nostalgic, thinking of what could have been, where it all went wrong but any regrets soon pass in the brisk chill of the morning air. I run. The hard rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement mixes in with the distant calls of the other runners. All it takes is a small trigger, the smell of wet grass, the feel of cold perspiration running down my back; my mind wanders and takes me back to those months so long ago. A time when everything was perfect, yet nothing was right.

Like most things, the idea was the product of a drunken night out. Steve was getting married soon and we figured that it would be one of the last times for us all to hang out, priorities change, people move on, life happens. While it was my idea, Steve was the one, who, in a haze of drunken stupor, thought it should be given a chance to live. Half cut, he ran around the local oval, slurring out the only cadence call he knew. ‘When I go home...the hippies they will say...how'd you earn your living, how'd you earn your pay...’ He almost made it a third of the way around before the last tequila shots of the night caught up with him. It took three of us to drag him back to the car; needless to say, his then fiancée didn't appreciate his unconscious state when we dropped him off. It was three months and one wedding before she let him out alone after dark again, let alone with any of us. No one could have guessed what that night would bring us.

Almost four months passed before I saw Steve again. A concentrated effort on both our parts was needed to organise a meet; daily life is an addictive rut. We met at the local coffee house, our wives out shopping for the day. ‘James.’ He said, nodding as I sat down. The waitress brought a coffee over and took my order, ‘long mac, thanks.’ We both watched her walk away; married we were, dead we were not. ‘Been a while, mate. How's married life treating you?’ I asked. Secretly I hated that cliched question, but social conviction required it. ‘Same as always, doesn't change much. Nance treating you all right?’ He spooned the foam from his drink. I laughed, ‘She hasn't kicked me out yet, I must be doing something right.’ We both smiled as the waitress returned. I took a sip of my coffee, despite knowing it would be too hot. My tongue was on fire but I tried not to let it show. ‘Hot?’ Steve asked, casually blowing on his own beverage.

‘Nah, it’s fine.’ I lied. ‘Been a while hasn’t it? Sorry, work and all that.’ It wasn’t an outright lie, but it was an excuse; most weekends I just crashed on the couch or hung out with Nancy, social interaction wasn’t high on my list of priorities.

‘Yeah, I know what you mean. Linda’s had me fixing the house and building bloody Ikea furniture every other weekend; haven’t had time to sit down.’

‘Nesting?’ I asked taking a second, cautious sip of coffee. Steve casually glanced over at our waitress, ‘I don’t know what it is,’ he said looking back at me. ‘Look, I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a while now,’ his face shifted and became uncharacteristically serious, ‘remember a while back at my buck’s night?’

‘Who could forget? I was grounded for a month after that!’ I joked from behind my coffee. Steve smiled, ‘Tell me about it. Anyway, that night you had an idea about doing that running thing.’

‘That running thing’ was a day dream I had been nursing for a while now. The idea was basically to get a group of guys together to run and chant military cadence calls. It came from watching too many war films and having an over active imagination. The only problem was my complete lack of social skills and an under abundance of friends. ‘It’s a stupid idea really, a group of guys running around the streets yelling in unison? It only happens in the movies Steve.’ I shrugged the suggestion away and sank further into my coffee. Steve leaned in closer, ‘I, however, think it’s a great idea. Look, when it comes down to it, people don’t want to stick out of the pack. Going to the gym alone, getting up at six am to run around the block every day? Forget that, it’s too hard.’

‘So what you’re saying is that instead of doing something healthy and respectable like joining a gym, you expect semi-healthy people to exercise and sing out loud, where everyone can see them and not feel like a freak? Right. Sure, you do that.’ I shook my head at him. ‘When you put it like that, sure, it’s a bad idea. But here’s the thing, if you’re in a group, all doing the same thing you become a group of freaks!’ He waved his hands around dramatically to emphasise the ‘group of freaks’ part.

‘Oh! Well, when you put it like that…’ I said sarcastically.

‘It’ll work, trust me. I’ve already got a group together, we start this Sunday. Just one small detail…’ I knew what was coming.

‘You need me for something.’ I looked around for Nancy; wives, never around when you need them. Steve grinned like a bloody Cheshire cat. ‘You need me to call out the cadences, don’t you?’ You bastard, I thought. He’s going to make me run around with his group at some ungodly hour, on a Sunday no less, and call out cadence calls! I can barely have a coherent conversation with a checkout operator, let alone be a drill sergeant. My eyes darted around again looking for Nancy to come save me. Bloody hell.

‘You’re the only one I know who has this whole cadence thing memorised. Look, it’s just for an hour, we try it once and if it works, hey that’s great, if not – no big deal.’

‘Yeah, except I’ll look like a right prat in front of all your mates. No thanks.’

‘Ah, come on James. You’ll love it.’ He was right, you know. Secretly, I had been dreaming for years of leading cadence groups all around the city, my best drill instructor voice ringing out in the crisp morning air. No. I wouldn’t do it. He could find someone else to be his bloody patsy.

I was seconds away from telling him where he could shove his cadence calls when Nancy and Linda burst into the café; their happy laugher rising above the loud din of the other patrons. ‘Hey you two.’ Nancy kissed us both on the cheek while Linda placed their order at the counter. ‘Finished already? I thought you would both be out for a few more hours at least.’ I said helping Nancy with her various shopping bags.

‘We’ve been out since ten walking all over the place, I was getting tired and my neck is killing me.’ She turned her back towards me, subtly hinting at a neck rub.

‘Wow, you’ve only sat down for two seconds and already he’s getting fresh!’ Lynda said dumping a load of bags onto poor Steve’s lap.

‘That’s more than I get!’ Steve said, nodding to his wife, ‘I knew it would go downhill after the wedding, but I expected the honeymoon to last longer than two weeks!’ He fended off a week slap from Lynda and rebuffed with a playful attempt to get her into a bear hug.

Lynda and Steve were the complete opposite of Nancy and I; meeting at university, the two had courted each other in a display that could only be described as borderline pornographic. My wooing of Nancy was considerably more tame and coy in comparison. Nancy turned her head and rolled her eyes at me. ‘So, did you say yes?’ She asked.

‘Yes to what?’ I stopped rubbing her shoulders.

‘Oh! You haven’t asked him yet?’ Nancy looked over at Steve. Steve leaned back casually in his chair, ‘I’ve asked, I was about to get an answer when you two lovely ladies returned.’ All eyes focused on me. You bastard, I thought to myself.

‘Steve?’ Nancy was looking at me, ‘I think you should do it, it’ll be good for you; getting some exercise, hanging out with Steve and Peter more.’

I looked at Steve. ‘You got Pete in on this?’ Peter was the third in our little group; mates since uni, the three of us were inseparable. A tell-tale grin formed on Steve’s face. I was trapped, with nowhere to go but up. I glared at Steve, ‘Alright.’ I said, throwing my hands up in the air in surrender. ‘I’ll lead your bloody cadence group.’ A small cheer went up from the girls as I sheepishly tried to burry my head in my empty coffee mug. He’d done it to me again, the bastard.

That first Sunday was the worst. All week long I had been listening to cadence calls over and over again. I hadn’t heard a regular piece of music in over five days; even my own thoughts were echoing in my head, ‘Where are my keys? Where are my keys? Did I turn the lights off? Did I turn the lights off?’ On and on it went, but that was the least of it; my main concern was saying all this out loud, in front of people. I hid myself in the shed in a vain attempt at privacy as I practiced my ‘Hupt’s’ and ‘Ooh Rah’s’. Nancy was good, despite constant neck pains and her felling tired all the time, she egged me on; we practiced every day in the back yard, me sort of yelling and her echoing back. She kept a smile on my face at any rate. This whole thing was pushing me and it was taking its toll. By the time Sunday morning came round I was a wreck.

My alarm sounded at four am with a grating ‘Up in the morning in the drizzling rain! Up in the morning in the drizzling rain!’ I cursed silently that my phone’s touch screen robbed me of the satisfying thump of the snooze button. Rolling over, I curled around Nancy; her soft body was warm and inviting. My hand snaked over her dozing frame as I tried to fall back to sleep. ‘You have to get up, or you’ll be late.’ She said, half asleep.

‘I’m not going.’ I replied, tightening my hold on her.

‘You have to go. You’ve told Steve you would, it’s too late now.’ She opened her eyes and looked at me. I kissed her before she had a chance to say anything. ‘You’ll be great, don’t worry about it.’ She said, returning my kiss, ‘Now, go.’ I moaned as I rolled over to the edge of the bed and threw back the covers, ‘S’not fair. Bloody Steve and his bloody ideas.’ Nancy was already asleep, or she was ignoring me. Who could blame her really? I struggled through the early morning routine and eventually felt ready enough to face the world. I kissed the sleeping Nancy goodbye and shuffled outside. The cold morning air chilled me to the bone as I semi-jogged to the nearby oval; cursing Steve’s name under my frosted breath in an echoing cadence.

A small group was already waiting for me as I jogged up the steep bank of the oval. Steve spotted me fairly quickly and waved me over. All up, there were six of them huddled together, some jogging on the spot for warmth others chatting about the funny weather we’d been having. I only knew a few of them, one of the two women I recognised from Steve’s work but the other one and the two fairly fit looking guys, I had no idea. ‘Our leader!’ Called out Steve as I approached; he was always showing off. Heads swivelled to watch this ageing accountant huff and puff his way towards the group. Pete stopped chatting with one of the women and came over to meet me. ‘Pete, how’s it going mate?’ I managed to say, after getting my breath back.

‘Yeah, not too bad for a cold Sunday morning.’ He said. Steve called out for the group to huddle up. ‘Now!’ He began, ‘I want you all to meet James. James is our cadence leader this morning. He’s a regular drill sergeant this bloke so watch out!’ Pete and I exchanged looks and I, not for the first time in my life, wondered what I was doing out here.

‘James!’ I jumped at my name being called. ‘James, will you give us a rundown of what it is we are doing today? Oh, and be quick, it’s bloody cold out here if you hadn’t noticed!’ The small group laughed and brought their attention to me. My stomach turned as I was put on the spot. This was not going to end well. ‘Uhh,’ I swallowed hard and tried to breath, ‘for those of you who don’t know what a cadence, uh, run is, it’s, uh, basically…’

‘Basically,’ interrupted Steve. Thank the gods. ‘James here is going to call out a line and we all just have to repeat it, in unison, Pete, I’m looking at you mate. While running. Just like in the movies. Isn’t that right James?’

‘Uh, yeah. Yeah. You’ll fall into the rhythm and pick it up fairly quickly. If you want to line up in pairs, we’ll start off by just running around the oval getting our feet working then we’ll do a few practice calls and then head out into the streets. The main thing is not to think, just listen and repeat.’

Steve laughed, ‘Should be old hat to you, eh Pete? Alright, people, let’s do this!’

To my complete and utter surprise, the run came off without a hitch. Our first few calls were a little weak, none of us really wanting to look stupid, then Steve started yelling at the top of his lungs and it soon broke the ice. An hour and a half later, Steve, Pete and I were downing coffee at an alarming rate in a nearby café. The hot liquid helped ease our hoarse throats and the caffeine hit brought back some energy to our tired bodies. When we had recovered enough to talk it was Pete who spoke first, ‘That went pretty well.’ He said. I nodded in agreement, ‘One of your ideas actually worked out well for once Steve; it’s only taken how long now?’

‘Law of averages.’ Steve said. ‘Keep trying and eventually something will work.’

‘That’s not what your wife says.’ Pete laughed as he dodged a friendly swipe from Steve. ‘Seriously though, it was fun. We on again for next week?’ Steve and I looked at each other. ‘I’m keen if you are.’ I said and Steve nodded.

‘See you guys next week then.’ Pete said getting up to leave, ‘Can you send me some of those songs for me to have a look over?’

‘Sure, I’ll email you later today.’ I said.

‘Take it easy man.’ Steve said with a wave as Pete headed off towards home. ‘Should I say ‘I told you so’ or just keep it to myself?’ I gave Steve a weary look. He’d won this time and I’d never hear the end of it; I began to wonder what I was getting myself into, yet again. ‘Best if you keep it to yourself until this takes off, you wouldn’t want to ‘I told you so’ prematurely.’

‘You are a wise man James, a wise man indeed.’ Steve finished his coffee and slapped me on the back, ‘See you next week oh, wise and wonderful drill sergeant!’ With that he left me alone with my coffee and thoughts.

The next week went by quickly and I was soon out on the oval again, this time with a larger crowd. Apparently word had spread. After the run, Steve asked if I would be interested in setting up a mid-week run through the suburbs. I say asked, but with Steve it’s more like him being courteous and letting you know what you’ll be doing. From there it just snowballed. The weekend group became too big and we had to split it into two groups; Pete turned out to be a great cadence leader and took care of the second group, as well as a Thursday morning run. Steve did what he does best and started making money out of the whole thing; selling branded t-shirts, water bottles and charging a small membership fee. The money didn’t bother me or Pete; we were both used to Steve and his projects, plus he always shouted us coffee afterwards. Weeks flew by and the cadence runs became a part of our lives. I tried to get Nancy involved but she never had much energy these days and always wanted to sleep in. It wasn’t for another two months before we found out why.

‘I have to quit the cadence runs, Steve.’ I told him after the last run. He nearly choked on his coffee. ‘Quit! Why?’ I was dreading this moment, Steve and I were close but we only talked about things that didn’t matter like the latest Apple product or who had the better AV setup. What I had to tell him was more real than anything we had ever talked about. ‘Nancy’s got cancer, Steve. She’s been sick for a while now but we’ve just got her results back this week. I can’t do the running and look after her, not for a while at any rate.’ Steve looked at me in disbelief. ‘Steve?’

‘Fuck me.’ He said, shaking his head. ‘James, man, I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s ok. We’ll get through it.’

‘Shit. Sorry. Is there anything Linda and I can do?’

‘No, no. It’s ok for now. Nance has a big family who are pretty supportive, but thanks anyway.’ My hand trembled slightly as I picked up my coffee.

‘Hey, you just take all the time you guys need. Don’t give the running another thought. We can get a replacement leader for your runs, I’ll sort it out for you.’

‘Thanks man. Sorry again to leave you hanging like this.’

‘Forget about it man. You have more important things to think about now. Don’t worry about it at all.’ We both sat in silence, watching the foot traffic pass us by. I hate imposing my personal life on others, forcing sympathy from them. If I had a therapist they would probably say it stems from my inability to accept complements; I just hate how they make me feel like I’ve been given something I don’t deserve. I stood up. ‘I better head off, see if Nancy needs anything. You be ok without me for a while?’ Steve looked up at me, sorrow and sympathy read all over his face. ‘Yeah. Yeah, no problems. You take it easy man, ok? Call me if you need anything.’

‘I will. Thanks again and sorry about all this.’ We shook hands and I left Steve to contemplate his own mortality. It would be almost a year before we met up again.

We’re still good mates. Both him and Pete have been great through everything that’s been happening this past year, our lives just took two very different directions that’s all. Nancy and I practically lived at the hospital and when we weren’t there I was trying to work as much as I could to keep the money coming in. Steve took the cadence model around the country and made a fortune. He went into business with Pete setting up cadence groups all over the place and eventually expanding into an Army bootcamp style exercise program. I was never jealous or regretted pulling out of the whole concept, he took an idea and ran with it, that’s what Steve does. It was however a little eerie seeing the concept explode around me though. For years I’d had this fantasy sitting in my head and now I was watching the world become cadence mad.

My first realisation of this was in line a the supermarket about eighteen months after Nancy had been diagnosed. A young woman in front of me was wearing a grey t-shirt with ‘Cadence Leader’ and the local university’s logo printed in white. I listened to her conversation with the checkout girl who let it be known that she too was in a cadence group. ‘I’ve just started, but it’s really fun! Did you know Oprah has joined one?’

‘No I didn’t, wow. We’ve got three groups at the university, it’s such a good way to get fit, much better than a boring gym.’ They parted ways and I watched the woman leave, her long black hair bobbing as she walked away. ‘Are you in a cadence group as well?’ The checkout girl asked with a perkiness not often displayed in her profession. ‘Uh, I used to be, a long time ago.’ I replied as I handed over my money.

‘Aww, you should get back into it. It’s so much fun!’

‘Thanks, I’ll think about it.’ I flashed a friendly smile as I picked up my bags and headed home. Three groups in the university alone, and Oprah? Trust Steve.

I balanced my shopping bags and opened the front door. Nancy was sitting quietly in the kitchen. The dry toast sat half eaten in front of her and she smiled weakly at me as I dumped the bags on the counter. ‘Morning.’ She said softly, her pale face lit up as I moved behind her chair and hugged her. ‘You’re all sweaty! Go wash up you gross man.’ She laughed soundlessly as I covered her face and neck in gentle kisses. ‘Go away sweaty boy!’ I kissed her properly before starting up the stairs. ‘James?’ She said softly. ‘I love you...’ I turned and looked at her, sitting alone in the kitchen, her white silk dressing gown hanging loosely around her frail frame. ‘I know.’ I said, ‘I love you too.’

Fin.

Artist

US Marines

Song

Fired up...Feels good

Reason

There is nothing better than running, jogging, or just walking around listening to the sound of Marines calling out in cadence.

The main thing is not to think, just listen and repeat.