Jack's story...
My natural father deserted us when I was a baby and my mother had to move from Missouri back with my grandparents on a farm in Wocus, just north of Klamath Falls, Oregon. They were very solid Baptists who had lost everything in the Dakotas during the dust bowl and were able to get an old homestead in this area.
My natural father was an alcoholic and couldn't come off the sauce since returning from World War II. He spent a lot of his adult life in the Penitentiary in Missouri and finally was stabbed to death in December 1980 on the Green Line in Kansas City, Missouri..... I know for a fact I caught the disease from him because I've never drank non-alcoholically.
At age 5 my mother remarried and we moved to Klamath Falls. I gained four step-sisters, a step-brother, a new last name and an identity crisis. Like my grandparents, my new family had the Western ethic ..... on his death bed, my step-father told me he was proud of me ..... "you're good for your word, you're a hard worker and you stand your ground." He was called a "man's man" at his funeral..... Born in 1905, they had a ranch in Emmet, Idaho. Used to catch wild horses and break them for re-sale, and during the depression (8 brothers), one would stay at the ranch with the families and the other seven would work the logging camps and pool all their money to send home. He was a boxer and did a lot of the prize fighting during that time for funds. Hired by the Klamath Falls City Police Dept in 1939, because he was a scrapper, and finally retired in 1970 at age 65..... Very solid upbringing by him, although alcoholism was prevalent in my step-siblings also. Not sure where it came from. Neither of the parents were alcoholic.
At age 9 I had a skid-row paper route, one of two in Klamath Falls. We never had much money, even as a kid on the farm so I was used to working. Did chores as a little kid, and once in town did a lot of yard work, shoveled snow off sidewalks etc. with my older brother Rick. By the time I was nine we had added my younger brother and sister to the family and usually had four kids living in the house at one time. Wood heat, so did a lot of free time cutting firewood. Also hunted and fished year-round for meat. Ate a lot of duck, goose, venison, rabbit, fish and wild berries as a kid. Typical rural Oregon lifestyle.
The paper route was my first regular job, and I supplemented busting boxes at a small store, and still kept with the yard work..... What changed was that I started drinking at age 9 and could get half to a quart of wine daily on the route. Don't remember my first drink, just remember starting drinking during that period. Had a boy scout canteen in my paper bag and would get "wine scraps" as I did my route.
I was born in 1946 which may not mean anything to you unless you were born in that time period. In the States we call it the Baby Boom, and in the UK I think it's referred to as the Bulge. When I started high school (9th grade - - we didn't have middle schools then) the population, due to my class, doubled and they didn't have room. I did my entire last four years from 7 a.m. to noon. The routine changed at that time.
I had always prided myself on my ability to keep up work wise. One of the values we were raised with. At age 14 I was 5'10" and weighed about 170 lbs. Real wiry kid and could keep up with adults. I started pulling press at the newspaper at 1.00p.m., would do my route, bust boxes at Unique (a supermarket) and then come and do inserts. In the summers would get up at 4 a.m., get a ride with the crew and buck hay bales until noon. Come back to town and start the newspaper routine.Making adult wages and working with adults and still going to school. What changed is we had whiskey at the newspaper and wine in the fields. I started drinking with adults. From age 14 until I hit AA at age 26 I was a daily drinker. They took me out and took care of the virginity with a 36 year old woman, the usual stuff that went on with that generation. At 14 I felt I had become a man, although society wouldn't recognize it .....
Also, some of the men I was working with were Native. My grandmother from my natural father's side was a combination Oglalla Sioux and Southern Cherokee. Klamath Falls had a lot of Klamath, Modoc and some Paiute Indians in the area. I gravitated towards them and learned to drink from them. None of the social amenities..... you drank to get drunk. Drank hard all the way though from that point on. The only thing that shows on me (light complexion) as far as the Indian is my nose, my cheekbones and my reaction to alcohol.
June 4, 1964 I graduated from high school at 8 p.m., was on a bus at 10 p.m. and sworn into the US Army the next morning. Some people complain about the military ..... I thrived on it (I'm currently retired Army). Went Infantry because to get to Germany you had to enlist combat arms. Served three years in 3rd Armored Division in the Frankfurt area - - made E-5 in 18 months, and the drinking accelerated. I speak passable German and did a lot of my drinking away from the Kaserne with the locals.
Got discharged in May 1967, went to work for Weyerhaeuser the woods at Camp #9 by Silver Lake, Oregon setting choke. Logging operations. Lasted 83 days. Got in some trouble - - no charges, but pressured to make an appearance at AA on Fridays when I came back to Klamath Falls. First exposure. Knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was an alcoholic but wanted to stretch it. Figured I had the vitality of youth. Just turned 21. There was an incident that got my attention and I went down to the recruiter and re-enlisted. They had a deal then that if you came back in within 90 days you could keep your stripes.
Two things I heard in AA during that short period kept plaguing me. If you're an alcoholic, you have three fates: Locked up, Covered up or Sobered up. If you haven't done everything you've heard in these rooms, add the word yet. If you survive, the door swings both ways. Anyway, to continue.....
I didn't want to go back Infantry as I saw the results coming to Germany from 'Nam and it wasn't like the movies. Enlisted in the Army Security Agency, went to Ft. Devens Massachusetts for training and married while I was up there. To make a long story short, I made the 'Nam, came back and reported to Germany early with my wife due to the war protestors. I worked support with the Special Ops types while in the 'Nam and really was drinking hard. Saw some stuff first hand that still gives me nightmares. In Germany we were co-located with some British Signals and I started drinking heavily with the jocks (Scots) and the German Border Polizei. I can thank the jocks for bottoming me out earlier than would have happened. Never saw anyone drink like them. Worse than the Indians at home. All the Americans on the post had been to 'Nam and all the Squaddies had done time in Northern Ireland. Interesting dynamics.
I was TDY in England (Temporary Duty) and got into an incident with a Major. Beat the charges (he was wrong in this case) but they got me administratively. Still had my stripes (Staff Sergeant at this time - got promoted in 'Nam) but they took my crypto access due to my drinking, and reclassified me back in the Infantry. Levied for 'Nam. Hit Ft. Dix New Jersey three days after Nixon announced the drawdown on combat arms (couldn't ship as Infantry - - if they would have left me in the Agency I would have shipped). Diverted to Ft. Carson, Colorado. Very upset as I didn't want to do Stateside duty. I wanted to do three years Germany, one year 'Nam, three years Germany, one year 'Nam and finally retire in Europe. I honestly didn't believe Viet Nam was going to end.
Came back into AA November 1972 and actually made 91 days. I was at a meeting and heard the part about "Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try it more than once. It may be worth a bad case of the jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition." I thought "anyone can jitter." I walked out of the meeting, tried for the first time in my life to have "one" beer and went totally out of control. I never tried to have one before and don't know why I thought I could get away with it. .
Something changed rapidly. I knew I was going to convulse off of this one. Had had three previously and could feel it coming on. Tried to get in the Ft. Carson Army Hospital and they wouldn't take drunks. Tried to get arrested - figured they'd take me to the hospital. I was throwing rocks at a police car, drunk, he looked at me and drove off. I bottomed out there.... haven't had a drink since.
Wino Joe used to give a three question quiz while he was on the speaker circuit in the '70's. He said "If you can answer
yes to any one of these you've arrived." That night I got three for three. #1 Have you ever had the roof of your mouth sunburned. Happened in Germany at age 19. #2 Have you ever been run over by your own car while driving. Automatic, driveway on a slight incline, park it in neutral instead of park, step out and it rolls over your foot. #3 Have you ever been so intoxicated you've been refused admission to jail. Read the above with the policeman. When I answered the *20 Questions test by the way, the only "no" I had was "have you turned to an inferior environment since drinking." I kept in the same environment. It was mine..... don't know if you would consider it inferior or not. Anyway, back to the story.....Called AA. Wanted to get someone "righteous." Retired Sergeant Major, First Sergeant, WWII or Korea. Instead I got a woman with 25 years in the program. Ruth told me she wasn't impressed by me. Her husband was a 30 year man, Retired Army Sergeant Major. Did WWII, Korea and one tour in Viet Nam. Two of her sons were career Army and one was career Marine and all of them did 'Nam.
Asked me if I had been to AA and I said "yeah, twice and it doesn't work." She said (I remember these conversations very clearly) "Bullsh-- you never worked it." Asked if I can stay sober for 24 hours and I said I don't think so. You think you can make twelve. Don't know. How about an hour. I think so. Can you do five minutes. Yes. Good, you're being honest.
Then she said something that saved my life. Read the portion from Chapter 5. "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." Ruthie said "Either you're very rare of you've never found the path. I suggest you take the cotton out of your ears, stuff it in your mouth, shut up and listen until you figure where the path is." She got ahold of some guys and they sat on me until the meeting that night, five minutes at a time. That was February 15th, 1973. I count February 16th as my sober date and have not taken a drink of alcohol since that time, thanks to God and AA.
I convulsed four days later in a meeting..... Bottom line is I came in totally beaten and started following directions. I was with a group that walked the talk and was willing to follow directions.
Won't go into a sober log. Bottom line is AA works for those who work it. I was told to conform to AA and I'm still trying to do that, one day at a time, to the best of my ability.
Thank you,
Jack A.
DOS (date of sobriety) 16 Feb 73