Rob A's story ...
I was brought up in a alcoholic home, so i saw what alcohol does to the family it destroys it. Made a few promises to my self that one, I would not drink. Well that ended when I had my first drink in my teens.
My first drink was a drunk and a blackout. I just loved the affect - it made me feel comfortable with myself. So that is why I continued. I never drank socially... I tried but as soon as I had the first drink I could not stop. I was a very reliable person til I drank then alcohol ran my life totally - so i became very unreliable.
What I could not handle was the emotional pain the next morning - the guilt and the remorse. The only way I could feel again was to have another drink. So the early morning drink came into my life then. I drank for 10 years.
I made contact with AA in Esperance in 1983. It is a long drive from the bush (where I live) into Esperance and I was full of fear, wanting to turn around and go home, did not know what to expect. I finally arrived there in some shock. There were 4 members and they made me feel welcome.
In the beginnning I was not honest with myself due to being full of denial , but I still went to meetings. These guys were a lot older than I was but they knew me better than I knew myself. I was their newcomer and they drove me nuts, they were that keen to get me sober they even dragged me out of a hotel and took me to a meeting against my will ! :-). They never gave up on me , though I had given up on my self.
It took 2 years before I totally surrendered. I wanted both worlds, to be sober and to drink , but it don't work for this alkie. There is a saying in the BB (ie the big book "Alcoholics Anonymous") that God could and would if he were sought.
On my last drunk, after being dry for 12 months, I cried out for help. I went to AA for me not others. I finally wanted what you people had, that was being happy, joyous and free . From that last drink I got my self a sponsor and got stuck into the 12 steps for living with me, without alcohol.
I am a very grateful member of AA and especially to those members in my group who not only saved my life , but gave me a life that I can enjoy without drinking. This is something I thought was not possible. There is no excuse for me to drink today.
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