Wee-Agnes' story ...

Hi my name is Wee Agnes and I will try to share a small part of my life with you. I was born 47ys ago in Bonnie Scotland, I am the oldest of three I had two younger brothers.  My childhood was not nice.  I lifted a my first drink at sixteen, with a group of girls at my work, after been dumped by my first serious boyfriend, that night we had a drink and I got drunk we went to the dance where I ended up been picked up by the police, they took me to hospital where I got my stomach pumped out then they took me to jail and in the morning I was taken in front of a judge and put on a years probation.

I could finish my story there but I had to go and do a lot more damage in the next twenty two years. I met my first husband shortly after that.  I was seventeen and thought I knew it all, had four kids lost a wee girl, and in the twelve years of marriage it was hell, mostly through my drinking.   It was to become a very violent marriage, and we where more apart than together.  My two brothers had moved in through this. After my youngest daughter was a year old we split up.  Six months later I met my second husband. We had a good few years where I curtailed my drink. The boys moved away and we got on. We moved to a new house and my drinking started up again. After being together for five years we got married what a day that was!  

Things started to go down hill, my youngest brother (who I loved to bits) at twenty six hung himself and my world fell apart.  I know to day I used his death as my excuse for my drinking, he died in the July and the following January I was in intensive care with a massive overdose. I came out of the hospital with the attitude that that didn't work so I would drink myself to death and that what I tried to do. I ended up in my bedroom for the next four years - forgot I had a husband and three kids and just drank for the oblivion. My husband left me, came back, then I threw him out and continued to drink for a month.  

One day I went for more drink and got the number for A.A.   I went to my first meeting that night. I was over 13 stone and don't know if I got washed or combed my hair. I was coming off the withdrawal of the drink. I came home that night and for the next seven years I stayed away from the first drink. In that time I had my first granddaughter born - the day before my 1st A.A birthday and I'll never forget that night, my husband and I got back again.  After a year we gave up, I got a job and a sponser. I never shared with anyone but her. I would not let you know what was going on in my life in case you saw the real me.

I had a good relationship with my two older kids. After three years my son and daughter left home and I moved to the house of my dreams. I was losing a lot of weight and my sponser told me to see the doctor. I had to have a big op which went ok. My youngest daughter had been staying with my mum as I did not know how to be a mum. By this time my own mum had got to Al-Anon and my daughter to Alateen. When I came out of the hospital I took my daughter home and we had to work very hard but today we have a great relationship.

I came home one night from a meeting to find that my 18 year old son (who had never been any trouble while I had been drinking) had lifted his first drug. The last six years have not been nice as a result.

I met my third partner shortly after that and things where going well. My sponser died a month before my seventh A.A birthday and my world fell apart. That was in the November and on Christmas day I allowed drink into the home. After everyone left I picked up that first drink. I never had any "yets" but I had every "again". Thankfully it was only a few hours my partner was in the Fellowship and the look on that man's face I will never forget.  It took me two weeks to get rid of my pride and get back to meetings. That will be three years on the 27th of December.  It has been hard but I had to start all over and do it the A.A way, not Agnes' way. I got a new sponser and went through the Steps.

We moved to the flat I am in today. We where getting married in the April and the following February Joe took a stroke.  It was not too bad. Within a week he was out of the hospital - very tired but he was a very strong person. We got married in the April and it was one of the best days of my life I even got a honeymoon and flew in a plane for the first time.  When we got back I got promoted in my job. My youngest daughter gave me my third granddaughter and my life was good. I came home one night from a back shift and Joe had taken another stroke.  For two weeks he was in hospital and then he died.  The last fifteen months have been hard but the fellowship wrapped me up in a blanket of love.

My son drug habit in now really bad. He is now twenty five. If he sees twenty six... but I have to leave him in God's hands. My oldest daughter last week gave me my first grandson and he's great. He was five hours old and I took him up his first train set. My daughter now thinks I am mad but its a nice madness. My youngest daughter is due in six weeks and I know its an other boy (as she had the scan and asked the sex) so I will have to go out and get an other train set.

I started college in July to get the grade to get me into nursing and up to the day I've passed my assessment that I've been set. So, you see, its never too late to start something new. Christmas I am not looking forward to this year. Last year I was numb and this year I think it will hit me but as long as I remain sober a day at a time it will pass.

 

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