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Joke + Vids - Friday, April 19 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


From Orsm

Three pregnant women are sitting, chatting and knitting jumpers for their expected kids. The first one says "I hope that I have a baby boy, because I'm knitting a blue jumper." The second says "I hope that I have a girl because I'm knitting a pink jumper." The third woman says "I hope my kid is a spastic, because I've fucked up the arms!"


And from the Forums, replicas put up some sites with music videos.



If you know any more, click here and tell us. Thanks.


Blonde Jokes - Thursday, April 18 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Heres some cool blonde jokes from the forum.

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our blonde friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair. She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun and, the next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.After being revived with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms.


Unreal Tournament 2003 - Thursday, April 18 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Well the game isnt completed yet, but I've found a few videos that were released a few days ago from some German TV show called GIGA.DE. They show various thing like the map editor and also have a few lan games and stuff. These videos require the latest Div-X 5.0.1 codec to view them.


Just woke up :) - Wednesday, April 17 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Had a real long day at uni yesterday (from 9am - 7pm) and I felt like shite` when I got home. Then just to make it worse the pads on the front of my car were worn and when I was braking it was metal scraping on the metal discs! ouch! Luckuly the discs didnt need machining (a bit of wet and dry did the trick). And the pads werent that much either and the labour was free baby

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A few days ago I was looking for some new car videos.. and I stumbled across a RC (Remote Controlled) car site, and started remembering all the fun times I had with my battery one when I was younger. Well these guys have a bit more money and use petrol ones.. and sometimes even nitro. One video there shows a car reaching in excess of 320 KPH!! (thats 200 MPH) You gotta check out the video of it!

Windows Media Player - High Rez (2.2 MB) - Low Rez (792 KB)

The rest of the videos can be seen on this site

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The first hacker to gain access to a server run by Korea Digital Works and leave their name on the site's front page this week will find it an enriching experience. Read More..

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9 photo + 2 video cumshot galleries

9 categories, with numerous pages per category


XXX Passwords - Sunday, April 14 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Heres some passwords for you all. They were working at the time of posting... so if they stop working.. I cant help it :)



And heres some sites with folders just full of pics.. ready to be viewed. I havent looked at many of them, so hopeflly all the contents as good as the few I saw.


Joke - Sunday, April 14 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."


The rules for being a real driver! - Thursday, April 11 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else will fill in that space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit!

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.

8. Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This ensures that the traffic behind you is reduced to crawling speed.

9. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD drivers.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. Our roads are the home of High-Speed Slalom driving thanks to the Roads Dept, which put potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

12. Real women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 75kmh in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

13. Real Perth men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at 75kmh in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

14. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

15. There is a common held belief in Perth that high speed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front.

16. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semi-trailers, road trains and buses because they have brakes.

17. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way street.


Update - Thursday, April 11 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


If your reading this news post, youve no doubt noticed the makeover I've done to my site. Lets face it.. it needed a change! The old black page was so dull.. it needed some spicing up
Tonight I went ahead and completed the chickz section by finishing off all the different categories (you can also access this section from the top menu). Enjoy!

Also if you ever tried to use the forums and you couldnt log in, well I've finally found a fix to it!! Just click on the forums link from the top menu, and theres a link to click on there to solve this problem! Thanks to all the people who emailed me with tips and stuff.

I was watching tv a few nighs back, and there was some german car show on. They test drove a BMW H50! Dont worry if youve never heard of this car before... because its not a standard BMW.... The company Hartge gets your good 'ol M3 and decides to slap in a 5 litre V8 from the M5 (that puts out 450HP mind you), then puts on some huge 19" alloys and a wicked body kit.. and then sells it for $250,000 AUS ! I WANT ONE NOW!! Click here for the official site with specs and images.

Heres a cool Australia based company that specialises in pc-case moding, so check it out.

If your a Penthouse fan, then you might get angry at this news story. Looks like the internet is taking away all their customers! Ah well... at least internet pr0n is free.. yeah baby!

And I'd just like to say that THIS internet site is FUCKING AWESOME!!! Theres some real mad flash on that site.. well done to the webmaster!


Kazaa ... do you use it? - Friday, April 5 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Taken from here:

MILLIONS of internet users who have downloaded the popular Napster-style network KaZaA for swapping music and movies are about to find themselves part of a worldwide system that uses their computers to work for big business.

KaZaA's file-sharing technology has been secretly packaged with a software component - presently dormant - that can plug member PCs into another network, Altnet.

And Altnet will offer that network to companies as computing power and storage space, potentially using millions of PCs worldwide.


More info and how to remove the spyware stuff

*** UPDATE ***

SlickSpike emailed me with an alternate program to Kazaa! Its called Kazaa Lite! and it had no spyware, no bonzi buddy crap, and the download file is a third of the size of the original program! You can get it from here. Thanks mate.

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If your in WA, and your looking for an '88 Mazda 323 GTX, then look no further. Just click on the picture below to read all about it!


Drags - Thursday, April 4 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Well last night I took my car down to Kwinana Motorplex for some dragin' action.

It was one of the best nights I've had in a long time!! I took my good ol' XF down there and got a best of 16.5 @ 130kph. Not too bad for a stock inline 6. But im blaming my 16 second time on my stupid 3 speed auto gearbox God knows what the fellas af Ford were thinking of back in '86 when they chose the ratios .. must have been economy or something

I must say I did some rather killer burnouts though to 'warm up the tyres'. I had several strangers come up to me and say they were cool and stuff like that. We got photos... Ive just gotta use up these last 6 shots on something so we can get them developed :)

UPDATE: The fuckn photos all turned out BLACK!! STUPID CAMERA!! I HATE YOU DAMN THING. Looks like im gonna have to get some new burnout ones :(

My sisters Ford Laser TX3 got a 15.8 quater.. which is pretty damn good for a NA front wheel drive laser! It would beat almost all standard 6 cylinders, and its even knocked of 8's before.

So even though it was an expensive night ($28 entry for racing, $30 for octane boost, ~$15 in petrol) it was well worth it... and I'll be back again as soon as I fit a 5-speed to it

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A man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house yelling to his wife: Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery! All $10 million of it...Woooohoooo!"
That's great, Darling!", she replies, "Do I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
"Who cares," he replies, "Just fuck off!"


You dont get more random than this! - Sunday, March 31 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time... Do you pick your nose?

I think we can now officially conclude that Britney Spears fans are not only deaf but illiterate . HERE is a list of all the the words that people have typed in instead of Britney Spears... For example: Brynty... Barittany... Sheesh! some people.

Bored? Why not give this game a bash.. its like one of those 3D pong kinda games.. with polar bears, penguins and random swearing! What more can you ask for in a game.

Gary Duschl has made a chain out of Wrigley chewing gum wrappers. Thirty seven years after he started, Gary's chain is now 7.65 miles long. That's a lot of chewing!!


Tequila - Friday, March 29 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a very large jar behind
the counter which is filled to the brim with ten dollar bills.

The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it and approaches
the bartender to ask: "What's up with the jar?"

Bartender: "Well, you pay ten dollars and if you pass three tests, then
you get all the money."

Man: "What are the three tests?"

Bartender: "Pay first. Those are the rules."

So the guy gives him the ten bucks and the bartender adds it to the jar.

Bartender: "OK, here's what you have to do. First you have to drink that
whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can't
make a face while doing it.

Second, there is a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth...you
have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third, there is a 90 year old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm
in her life. You gotta make things right for her."

Man: "Well, I know I've paid my ten bucks but I'm not an idiot, I won't
do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of tequila and get crazier
from there."

Bartender: "Your call. But your money stays in the jar."

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat
teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands and downs it with a big
slurp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear a huge
scuffle going on. They hear barking and screams, yelps and growling, and
eventually silence.

Just when they think the man must surely be dead, he staggers back into
the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.

"NOW," he says, "where's that woman with the sore tooth?"


Snippy snip - Friday, March 29 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Well I've shortened the main page, and added the whole thing to the News Archive to save loading times

I must say Northbridge was pretty dead tonight :( I hope you curtin bub-crawlers had a good night, as well as everyone else I saw tonite (you know who you are!).



Have a happy easter everyone. Hope you all eat lots of chocolate and get sick ;)


Hey Sting - Thursday, March 28 2002 - By TOXIC (email)


Welcome abourd the pron bout :P excuse speeling i sux at it :P

anyway i have a link to GTA 3 for u

GTA3

Teheheh


New guy - Thursday, March 28 2002 - By StiNg (email)


Hello p0rn addicts

I have just signed on with chickz.org and its great to be part of the team now You'll start seeing regular posts from me, so get ready you will see from me with the latest p0rn and interesting news

Since I'm new to the site I will say a bit about my self
My name is Matthew I'm 17 yrs old and live in a shity town up north of perth which is pretty much in the middle of no where
One of my main interests is pr0n Computers are another favorite of mine such as intertnet gaming with games such as Counter Strike and other first person shooter games and much more

Now that I have bored you all half to death here are some links:

Here are pictures of chicks I have picked:
Chick #1
Chick #2
Chick #3
Chick #4
Chick #5
Chick #6
Chick #7
Chick #8

40 Alley Bagget galleries http://cord.shl.pl/~maxim/galerie/index.html

Few random porn sites:
www.easypic.com
www.picpost.com
www.dapimps.com
www.worldsex.com
www.xxxvogue.net
www.luclinks.com

For those that don't look in the forums there are much better and awesome chicks from our forums posted by this legend ericrs
here


Funny videos - Tuesday, March 26 2002 - By Austin Powers (email)


Heres a couple of cool videos for ya

Cops - This videos a parody of the tv show Cops, but with a twist. It has star wars characters. Its hell funny (28 MB Quicktime)

The Parlor - I cant really say what this videos about, as it will spoilt it. Lets just say its wierd, but its so true (16 MB Avi)

And about the cruise we went on, that night there were SO many things that happened, I can barely remember them all. We got stalked by cops, had a few drags, got offered stolen goods and drugs, witnessed people damaging property and heaps more things :)
I'd just like to add that I whooped that lancers ass repeatedly, and I beat the v8 fairlane off the lights. respect.


Austin, TOXIC and NeR0TiCs Cruize - Sunday, March 24 2002 - By TOXIC (email)


Long time no see :)

Last night Nero, Austin and I went cruzin. We decided to go about 10 mins before it started and the worst thing was we wernt completly sure where to meet the other cars.

Well in the end we didnt meet them but we had a cruize our self.

First we went to 3 places where we thought the cruize was suppose to be...we where wrong :). From there we went to Alf Barbagola Sports...the thought of stealing 3 porches near the exit had crossed out mind :) but we thought maybe not, onto Joe Crissafio we went looking at the WRX austin went to clean a water mark of one of the cars and the alarm started beeping well we left there quickly :)

From there we went to austins area. Found some water and started doing a burnout in his beasty ford then we relised there where cops behind us so we got from there quickly cpl of side streets later we see them again so they do a U turn and come driving behind us we went to loose them again and third time we did :) they ended up following us cause some WRX driver was pooning it down a road :)

Well from there off to maccas bit busy so we left and went down to scarbrough :) trying to find 3 drunk chicks for 3 luck guys hey *wink* leaving there we saw this lancer and what looked like 2 homos in it who where off to his place for some gay lovin we moved from there quickly.

Went down the freeway pooning it with another ford and headed to northbridge hehe A Z N Pride down there. *austin locks car doors* drove there for a bit say 2 chicks having a bitch fight and the mounted police start riding over to them.

Down to fremantle we went hammerings austins car as we go over bumps in his illegally low car :P freo was dead so we went back to maccas and had sufing to eat and this aboriginal came up to us and was aasking for change and he started telling us his life story anywya at one point he said na im not a abo im a malay and we just about pissed ourselves malay yeah right quote "im a malay bruda" hehe sif he also tried to sell us some stolen phones and whipper hah :P he was i dont do whipper myself but he looked like one fucked up abo. he started dribbling about seeing red and shit.

Hmmm i prob forgot shit so i let austin say what i missed :)

Also got this flash from a mate yesterday A Z N PRIDE

A Z N Pride

 

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