Eulogy for Malcolm Rex Standen 1915 - 2001.
by Michael Harris.
Unfortunately here we are again! Many of you will recognise me from last year; I’m not sure whether to take it as a compliment from my family, or just that they think I have a big mouth?? I’m getting better at this, but I don’t know if that’s such a good thing?? Anyway, I'm here to talk about Bill (Malcolm) Standen, my grandfather…my Pa… I have many VERY fond memories of my Pa….in fact it feels as if he filled a part of my life that no other could. Pa was a person that no other could be; I'm sure that all of you will know what I mean when I say he was a "True" gentleman. How many of you ever heard him cross, or swear? Who ever saw him unshaven? If you'll allow me I would like to share some of my memories with you, and perhaps my recollections will remind you of fond memories you have also. The only time I ever saw Pa angry was a long time ago….& I did it! In hind sight, I'm sure I must have done it deliberately (although I'm loath to admit that…after all I'm also a true gentleman.. or so I'd like to think). Anyway, as I just said, no one ever saw Pa cranky, so it must have occurred to me that this was just unacceptable? Either that or I just completely overestimated the depth of patience that Pa's undying love procured for me. Either way, I just pushed it to far. You see, Pa was digging out the little culvert at the bottom of the hill where the farm started. And I thought it would be fun to try & lob a few clods of mud into Pa’s hat brim. Like all loving grandfathers, Pa laughed at first, but as I continued the laughter became less enthusiastic, until eventually he just flat said - Stop It! Well, I couldn't resist could I, so I was sent home in disgrace. I had done it.. I had made him cranky. I remember the walk home trying desperately to think of some excuse to tell Gran as to why I had come home without Pa. I suspect she may have eventually found out. I remember coming home from school one day to a lovely surprise…Mum had bought me some lovely new clothes, new shoes, the works. Anyway, that was just the start of the good news…Pa was taking me to see a car stunt show…just me…no girls. And then to top it all of, he turned up in a brand new car. .his beautiful brown/burgundy valiant. Well that was just one of the best nights. I was clearing out my shed the other day, and found the Programme book from that night, and the memories just came flooding back. The thing I remember most though, is that this was a new Hemi engine that Chrysler had just released, and anyone who has owned one of those (particularly in the early days) would know how easily they flooded. Well, I really thought we were going to stay there that night, but eventually someone approached and demonstrated the appropriate technique for starting them. We got away, and even better, Pa had car with heaters…what would they think of next!
I remember laying with Pa & Gran on the lounge watching TV. Normally the news, but I was watching TV the other day and a National Geographic documentary came on and when the theme played I was instantly transported back to Pa & Gran’s lounge room for the "Sunday Documentary" that came on at lunch time Sunday's. Pa was the first person I knew to have a colour TV, and the Sunday Documentary was the first show I saw in colour…of course it was with Pa. One of the last conversations I had with Pa was about this next memory… harvesting the corn for silage. Of course to the adults, it was hard work.. but to the kids it was just such fun. Dick Standen would come with his old truck and harvester, and away they'd go. The men often played in the truck, getting showered with corn. Some of them even stayed in the truck while it was tipped. I can still remember that smell, and the smell when the pit is opened for winter. I loved it. A new tractor was always exciting at Pa's. I mean it was as if they were just for me. I can remember Pa going to great lengths to explain that tractors, and especially new tractors, shouldn't be driven just for the sake of it; it was no good for them. Finally, having convinced me of the merits of his argument, I was coming to grips with the fact that I wasn't going to get a drive of the new tractor, when he took me straight down to the shed, and we drove the tractor round the paddock. That smile never let me down! Speaking of the tractor, just thinking about it I can smell the shed that the tractors originally lived in. The smell was a delightful mixture of diesel, oil, and horses. I don't think I ever smelled it any where else, but I would instantly recognise if I did. I can remember and early birthday of mine (7-8 probably). It was after bedtime & I'd gone off to bed. I was upset & crying. I don't remember why, that’s not important. What is important is that I remember it at all. You see Pa came in to comfort me. No one else had even heard, but Pa did. .such a simple act on his part, but a lifetime & cherished memory for me. I can still hear Pa humming. Anyone who spent time with him in his dairy knows exactly what I am talking about. In all my years with him, I never worked out just what he was humming…probably nothing, and yet I can hear it right now as clear as bells. Perhaps you've thought of some of your own memories… I hope you have. I can very confident in saying that they would be good memories, as I can't imagine there being a bad memory in the room. One of the greatest compliments any one could pay me is to compare to Pa. I still get it today (although a lot less since Gran passed away). In particular, I remember that as a child, I loved to dress formally, that is with a collar & tie. People would comment on this, and to this day I can remember mum's attitude that it was because I wanted to be like Pa. I mean that the point isn't it. Pa was a person with attributes that we all aspire to. To be like Pa is to be a good person. In fact sometimes he was just too good. I recall mum telling me about the time that Pa received an account for a tractor part, which was blatantly ridiculous…It was obvious that the decimal place was in the wrong place, so that instead of being $1.56 for example, it became $156.00. What did Pa do? Well he paid it. That’s the ethic he held. I don't think Pa could have ever been confused between right & wrong. He just knew the difference, & showed us all the way. We all loved Pa.. how could we not! I miss him already, and I’m sure you all do as well….but please remember that Pa had had a good life, & that (I think) he was ready to go. His life with Gran WAS his life, and when she went, his life must have seemed hollow in comparison. Now I know he must have pained for his loss, and yet he barely complained…and never in public. But his life was complete. A success…an inspiration. Pa is my inspiration… I hope he is your's too.