In a tell-all interview in the upcoming issue, Love reveals the pain of life after the suicide death of her musician husband Kurt Cobain.

In one shocking revelation after another, Love reveals how she carried a concealed gun for her own protection after Cobain's death and how depression led her to call a suicide hotline for help.

Love also says she turned down a $5 million offer from a fan to sell the Seattle home where Cobain ended his life with a shotgun.

At times her personal story becomes downright bizarre.

Love says she is now dabbling in homosexuality, has a cursive "K" tattooed below her sternum and has had her breasts lifted.

Strangest of all is her revelation that she keeps a lock of Cobain's pubic hair next to his ashes at home.

She says she is planning ot have Cobain's ashes buried at CAlvary Cemetery in Seattle so fans can play homage to the performer who in death has joined Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin as fallen rock idols.

"I guess Seattle will stay the mecca for drugs and Kurt Cobain," she tells the magazine.

Bean Cobain, the two-year-old child of Love and Cobain, sleeps with a picture of her dead father over her bed.