MARK C. BOURNE

A Better You

A comedy/farce in two acts

To contact me:

 

Email: markcbourne@iinet.net.au

A Better You tells the story of a group of 5 very different women who meet every week at the  local community hall. They spend their time organizing jumble sales and fair days and inviting guest speakers to their weekly meetings.

On the evening that the play begins, unbeknownst to the group, Cathy-Anne has been booked to do a presentation to them regarding “A Better You”, the self-help program that she represents. Unfortunately for Cathy-Anne, the women are a rather mixed bunch, with their own concerns and very easily distracted. Things do not go according to plan!

Did Bella’s husband really leave her for a biker called Hammer? Is it the Girl Guides that keep stealing the toilet paper? Will Mildred ever master her Monterey Turn?

In the midst of trying to run her presentation, Cathy-Anne is constantly harassed via mobile by Barry, her partner, to discuss the lack of offspring in their increasingly rocky relationship. Cathy-Anne teeters dangerously on the edge of a total breakdown and in their misguided attempts to help, the women accidentally kill her with a combination of Valium and dog tranquilisers.

Now what on earth will they do with an unexpected body??

Just when they think that they have managed to safely stash poor Cathy-Anne in the Gents toilet,  they find out that the hall has been double-booked...
Text Box: One simple set, the interior of a community hall. Flexibility with character ages makes casting easier. Cast of 7 women and 1 man. Strong comic roles for women. Running time approximately 2hrs. No scripts to be purchased. (An electronic master is provided for duplication, if a group decides to stage the play) Text Box: Cathy-Anne: 30’s, power-dressed in a trouser suit and big hair. The “A Better You” presenter. She is patronising and irritable and clearly at the end of a very short fuse. Bella: 40’s, bold and upfront former “biker chick”. She is rather bitter and has a sarcastic and blunt sense of humour. Josie: 20’s - 40’s, mousey hair, rather plain, baggy clothes and large glasses. Lives with her mum. Has an inventive imagination, a breast obsession and hidden murky depths. Patricia: 20’s - 40’s, schoolteacher, highly nervous and prone to hyper-ventilating. She has a fondness for hippie skirts and tie-dyed clothes. Clearly too fragile for teaching. Constance: 40’s - 50’s, doctor’s wife. Perfectly presented with class and elegance. Natural leader and seen by the others as the ‘rock’ of the group. Has absolutely no idea that her rather brutal frankness may offend. Mildred: 60’s - 70s, eccentric, with tonnes of hobbies. Wildly dressed in a country and western outfit, including cowboy boots and a moped helmet. She also wears a tatty curly wig that has seen better days. Calls a ‘spade a spade”, but is essentially good natured. Maxine: 40’s to 50’s, ballroom dancer. Snooty and over groomed. Full make-up and competition “attire”. Dominating and bossy. Clifford: 40’s to 50’s, ballroom dancer. Fake tan, tight black pants and shirt, cummerbund etc. Uncomfortable with his dancing prowess and appears to be under Maxine’s thumb. Transforms from meek and mild to dashing and virile on the dance floor!