About Andrew Mastalerz

Andrew politely refused, but had an idea. He could would be a superhero, and would become the saviour of France. This new plan never came to fruition. His inept sowing skills kept him from making a decent costume, and he could not decide on a cool name. His one claim to fame in Paris (besides his successful modelling career) was when he accidentally melted one of the legs off of the Eifel Tower with laser beams after a particularly violent sneeze.

Andrew Mastalerz was born in Kalgoorlie on the 26th of March, 1977. His life was fairly uneventful until he was 19, when he became the youngest person to circumnavigate the world in a bathtub. Oh, he did get a pretty good bike for Christmas when he was 14.
In 1956 Andrew attended Harvard College, and along with Doctor Eric McCarthy, discovered how to produce a self contained thermonuclear reaction using only a milk crate and two housebricks. Later that year, critics claimed that the experiment results had been falsified, and that the high temperatures created in a thermonuclear reaction could not be contained in a milk crate, no matter what the colour.		Eric McCarthy: His geeky glasses could not hide the shame he felt
Unable to reproduce the findings, McCarthy left Harvard under a cloud and was never seen again, leaving Andrew to face the naysayers. Rather than risk the tough questions, Andrew moved to France and changed his name to Jerry McDonald. As Jerry McDonald he worked in the kitchens of exclusive cafes, earning enough money to create a modelling portfolio.
Was Paris ready for Andrew Mastalerz? No, no it wasn't.	For the next three years Andrew worked as a highly successful fashion model, until one day in June 1960 a pressure cooker exploded in the kitchen of "La Cafe" where he was washing dishes. Andrew received the full impact of the blast which caused horrific disfiguring injuries to his face. Whilst spending the next three months in hospital Andrew discovered that the blast had given him special superpowers. He now had laser rays which could shoot out of his ears, a mean looking stare that made people feel sort of uncomfortable if exposed for long periods of time, and an uncanny ability to state the obvious. After being released from hospital Andrew was approached by the French Army. The Army had become aware of Andrew's newfound abilities (largely due to Andrew telling everybody he could about them) and were eager to employ him.
Andrew politely refused, but had an idea. He could would be a superhero, and would become the saviour of France. This new plan never came to fruition. His inept sowing skills kept him from making a decent costume, and he could not decide on a cool name. His one claim to fame in Paris (besides his successful modelling career) was when he accidentally melted one of the legs off of the Eifel Tower with laser beams after a particularly violent sneeze.
After evading the French Authorities, Andrew returned to Western Australia and changed his name back to Andrew Mastalerz. He now works as a photographer for the Daily Bugle.