Anglican Church of the Holy Cross Melville

Weddings

Reaching out into the community with Christ.

" Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert and always persevere in supplication for all the saints. " Ephesians 6:18

How much will the wedding cost?
Weddings are expensive as you will probably already have found out! The good news is that the actual wedding itself will probably be one of the cheaper items. The total cost for weddings varies. We always try to keep costs to a minimum but there are expenses that you will be required to meet, payment to organist, verger, church etc. These expenses must be paid prior to the day of the wedding - at the rehearsal is usually convenient.
NOTE: Your wedding is not confirmed until the booking fee has been paid and the church reserves the right to re-allocate your booking

Photographers and video
If you are thinking of having a video recording of your wedding this can be accommodated but sensible restrictions will apply. We encounter difficulties with some of the companies used and we have been forced to make restrictions on filming to prevent weddings being ruined. Film crews running down the aisle in front of the bride, cameras being thrust over the shoulder of the Minister during vows, large floodlights and umbrellas being erected at the front of the church, these are just some of the problems encountered!

We are prepared to allow companies to film your wedding but we would stress that prior contact must be made with the church office by the company concerned so that agreement can be given. There is no charge made for allowing the video filming to take place. If this permission is not sought prior to the wedding day authorisation will not be made for the filming of your wedding.

We do allow photographers in church but it is expected that the photographer will contact the church office prior to the service to discuss arrangements. A professional photographer using more than one camera will not need to use flash and will be unobtrusive.

Once the service has begun it is difficult to stop disruption, but the verger will intervene if a photographer acts unreasonably in a way that is not conducive to a church service. Under no circumstances will a photographer be permitted into the sanctuary area during the service itself. We hope that you will realise that the reasons for this are to ensure that your wedding is a very special day you will remember and not spoiled by insensitive behaviour.

What do I do about flowers?
It is always a good idea to brighten up the church with some flowers for your wedding, although there is no need to be extravagant. The procedure will vary depending upon which church you choose in which to be married. We are fortunate to have people who will advise you and are prepared to make arrangements for you to your specifications at a reasonable cost. If you wish to have flowers please telephone the person responsible at each church. The Rector will be able to give you details of who to speak to.

They can discuss your colours and ideas with you, it may be that somebody else is to be married on the same day and special arrangements can be made to share costs and to match colour schemes. Should you decide not to have flowers or to have a florist or friend make arrangements you must still telephone, so that we know what is going on. Please telephone now - do not wait until closer to the wedding.

When should we have a rehearsal?
A rehearsal is held in the church for the couple usually the week before the marriage. Please telephone the Minister to arrange a date and time. At the rehearsal you should try to have the Best man, Bridesmaids and the person who is 'giving away' the Bride present. This is a time to run through the service and put you all at ease. The fees should be paid no later than this time.

Reading from scripture
The service includes a reading from the Bible, often 1 Corinthians 13 or John Chapter 2 are used. If you would like to ask a member of the family or a friend to read this then please do so and tell the minister.

Bridesmaids and Page Boy
Some people have many bridesmaids and a page boy, however you may not wish to have any at all. Bridesmaids are there to tend to the needs of the bride throughout the service, for making sure that your dress is arranged properly and 'waiting' on you. It must be said that few actually wait on the bride as they should. You will pass your bouquet to the chief bridesmaid at the beginning of the service and if you wear a veil she may help remove it. Traditionally you made your vows with the veil over your face, in case the groom changed his mind!

Best Man
He will be there to assist the Groom, not least in taking care of the ring(s). It is said that once, if the Groom failed to appear the Best Man was obliged to marry the Bride!

Vows
In an Anglican Church wedding the bride will have to decide whether she will say 'Obey' in her vows. If the bride does say 'obey', the Groom will have a different vow as well, he will promise to 'worship' the Bride.

Ushers and Seating
It is helpful if you provide two ushers who will welcome your guests and assist people as they arrive. Ushers should be present forty minutes before the wedding and distribute orders of service and buttonholes. They will also escort people to their seats. It is traditional for the family of the Groom to sit on the right side of church as you walk in, behind the Groom. The family of the Bride sit on the left, with a space saved for the person 'giving away' the bride. Increasingly this is a practice more honoured in the breach than in the observance and you may not wish to split the congregation in this way, especially if one family is very small.

Rings
You may decide to use one or two rings, it has become increasingly popular for both partners to be given a ring. There are appropriate vows for whatever you decide.

Signing of the registers
This takes place in the church either in the middle or at the end of the service. After the signing the photographer will normally want you to pose for some special photographs. The Minister will issue a marriage certificate which will be signed by both of you and two witnesses whom you will appoint. They must be over 18.

Length of the service
We allow about an hour for the service which includes time for the taking of photographs outside afterwards or inside the church if it is raining. Please do not be late as we will not allow a late service to interfere with another booking at the Church and the Minister may have other appointments. If you arrive late then the minister may decide not to proceed or shorten the service accordingly.

Confetti
This may be thrown by your guests OUTSIDE the church. Usually the photographer is the one to give permission, so as not to spoil his/her photographs!!

Orders of service
Some people have their own orders of service printed. This would have the hymns included and it maybe a good 'keepsake' afterwards. You may also like to include a special item in the service. Please entrust your orders of service to a reliable person - usually female, they often arrive late having been locked in a car boot or forgotten.

What music should I choose?
Most people prefer traditional wedding music as the bride enters and leaves the church - however our organists are accomplished musicians and very happy to vary music according to your wishes. One of our organists will telephone you prior to the wedding to discuss arrangements with you. Permission may be given for you to provide your own organist, however please note that the payment of usual fees to the church for the use of the organ will still be required. Please do choose hymns yourself, perhaps with the advice of the organist, two or three would be normally be suitable. A list is attached with some suggestions but it is only to help and not meant to limit your choice. Our Hymn books are the ‘Complete Anglican Hymns Old & New‘ but if your hymn request is not available we are happy to use the church printing facilities to produce a copy of a hymn to enable you to include your choice. There is no charge for this and the church has copyright permission which will cover your wedding.

Hymns
Choosing hymns can be difficult. Choose well known hymns your guests will know - here are some possibilities to help you try to decide.

Love divine all loves excelling (Blaenwern)
Lead us heavenly Father lead us (Mannheim)
Praise to the Lord the Almighty, the king of creation (Lobe D.H.)
Praise my soul the king of heaven (Praise my soul)
Now thank we all our God (Nun Danket)
All things bright and beautiful (Monk)
Lord of all hopefulness, Lord of all joy (Slane)
O Jesus I have promised
Father hear the prayer we offer (Sussex)
Dear Lord and Father of mankind (Repton)
Who would true valour see (Monk's Gate)
Amazing grace
Morning has broken
At the name of Jesus (Camberwell)
Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart (Slane)
Blest are the pure in heart
Come down, O love divine
Immortal invisible God only wise
Let all the world in every corner sing (Luckington)
May the mind of Christ my saviour (St. Leonard's)
O for a heart to praise my God
Take my life and let it be (Emma)
The king of love my shepherd is (Dominus regit me)
The Lord's my shepherd

Please make sure that the tune is the one you want!

Traditional entrance music -
Bridal March from Lohengrin- Wagner,
Trumpet Voluntary- Jeremiah Clarke,
Trumpet Tune and Air- Purcell

During registers -
Sheep may safely graze- Handel,
Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring- Bach,
Morning- Grieg,
Largo- Handel

Traditional music to leave -
Wedding March- Mendelssohn,
Toccata- Widor.

Here are ten important things you MUST not forget!
1 Don't panic!
2 Make sure the photographer/cars have been booked.
3 If you are having your own printed service sheets make sure they arrive on time, frequently they do not!
4 Make sure you have spoken with the organist as soon as possible after contacting the Minister, discuss with them your hymns and music. Book now so that they do not book their holidays etc. on your wedding date.
5 Contact those concerned at the church about flowers as soon as possible to tell them what you are doing
6 Tell the Rector immediately if any circumstances change - such as your address.
7 Arrange for the Rector to sign form for honeymoon passport if going abroad.
8 Ensure video and photographer have contacted Minister for instructions.
9 Pay your deposit as soon as possible, the wedding is not confirmed in the church diary until this is done. You must also pay for service prior to wedding - very important!
10 Keep in touch with us before the wedding we like to hear how things are going. Telephone to arrange the rehearsal with Rector to take place the week before the wedding.

We hope that this information will be of use to you. If there are any details which you are not sure about then please contact the Rector who will be pleased to discuss your arrangements with you.

Thinking about a church wedding?

We are sure you have lots of questions.
FAQ's

Q/ What do Christians believe about marriage?

A/ Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.

Q/ Where can I get married?

A/ Everyone lives in a parish and belongs to a parish church. That is the church you should contact for more information about getting married. You may also be able to marry in a church that has special significance for you as well as your parish church. An example might be the parish where one of you grew up in or where a parent of one of you lives.

Q/ I am not baptised. I do not go to church. Can I still get married in church?

A/ Yes! Normally the parish priest will want to get to know you a bit and might ask you to some preparation meetings or church services before you get married.

Q/ How do I book the church?

A/ Get in touch with your local parish priest or the preist of your special church.
He or she will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans.

Q/ What if I want to be married in a different church?

A/ If you are a regular worshipper in that church, it is usually possible to be married there. Just speak to your minister.

If you are not a regular worshipper why not start attending? You will normally be expected to attend some services to be married there.

Q/ We have decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?

A/ There is no reason why you should not do this, provided your rectorr is happy. There is a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony and this can be adapted. There are no legal requirements or set fees.

Q/ I am divorced. Can I still get married in church?

The Anglican Church believes that marriage is for life. But it recognises that sadly, some marriages do fail. In exceptional circumstances, the Church accepts that a divorced person may marry again.

Speak to your parish priest. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may be willing to offer you service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.

Q/ I am Anglican and he is a Catholic. Does that matter?

A/ People of all denominations have a right to be married in their parish church (provided they have not been married before). So it does not matter from the Anglican perspective.

Q/ Why do we need marriage preparation?

You have probably invested a lot of time planning your wedding. The day is important but your marriage should last for the rest of your life. However much you think you know each other, you are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. Churches often offer an opportunity to talk through these issues, sometimes as a group with other couples.

Q/ What are the legal requirements?

A/ Unless you are getting married by Common or Special licence the normal way is to have your banns read out in church on three Sundays during the three months before your wedding. You would be most welcome to join the church community for the service and to hear them read. The banns must be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as the church in which you are to be married if that is in another parish.

If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents consent to marry.

There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Your priest or minister will discuss with you what you need to do.

There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced (See question above).

Q/ How much will it cost? A/ The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, the marriage service and a certificate of marriage. These fees are fixed centrally and are currently approximately $500. You can see a breakdown of these, and other fees, here.

These fees do not cover any extras you may wish to have for the service, such as a choir, organist, bell-ringers, special lighting, fees for video recording and so on. Check with your parish priest.

Q/ Can we be involved in planning the service?

A/ Yes. You can choose to have a modern language service or one in more traditional language including the Book of Common Prayer service.

Q/ Should we have one or two rings?

A/ A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other. It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two.

Q/ Can I marry in any other colour than white?

A/ Yes

Q/ Can we have a video recording of the service?

A/ You will need to ask permission from the parish priest and there may be a fee. Permission is not required to record the authorised words of the service but bear in mind there may be copyright issues if you're recording a person's performance (eg a professional organist) or using copyright hymns or readings.

Q/ Can we renew our vows?

A/ The Church offers a service of Thanksgiving of Marriage, which may be used for a number of different occasions including:

renewing marriage vows
to celebrate a special anniversary
after a period of separation or difficulty in marriage.
The service may be held in a church or another location, such as the home (you will need to speak to you parish priest about the exact details). You may also wish to combine the renewing of vows with a service of Holy Communion.