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I held a competition on a particular forum to emulate Constable Care's poems by writing homilies in rhyming couplets. I sent the lot to the West Australian newspaper where, much to my surprise, most were published. For some strange reason the editor didn't fancy Betty's rhymes - perhaps he realised that we were taking the mickey; or maybe he decided that even for a feature offering awful poetry they were a bit too tongue in cheek.
For comments on some of the daily offerings in the West Australian Newspaper CLICK HERE
Subject: Awful rhymes
Posted By: Rhonda
If you a fishbone do inhale
you might not live to tell the tale
Subject: This is a hold up
Posted By: Balaclava Betty
going to the bank to committ robbery
is not the same as winning a lottery
oh wait, I guess that is not quite what you meant eh?
Subject: choking on fish
Posted By: Baking Betty
learn to do the Heimlich maneouvre
to help someone choking on a hors d'ouvres
ok. so you have say 'hors d'ouvres' like my mother does before you can get the rhyme.
Subject: Clog dancing
Posted By: Rhonda Rooter
How about...
If your pipes are really stuck
Get a plumber to clear the muck.
Subject: Clog dancing shoes
Posted By: Bouncing Betty
keep those shoe laces tied
or you will trip and died
well, that one needs work.
Subject: Primavera
Posted By: Rhondapesto
In the hot sun never lie
Or your noodle will surely fry.
Subject: Secret identities
Posted By: Rhonda
If your name you try to hide
Your initials ne'er confide.
Subject: Training wheels
Posted By: Rhonda
If you're tempted to ride a bike
Stay upright and ride a trike.
Subject: One for the concorde loo door!
Posted By: Hotblack D
To you who sit upon this seat
Complete your business, then retreat!
Subject: More safety hints
Posted By: Rhonda
If into the sun you look
You'll never read another book.
Subject: Safety pins
Posted By: Befitting Betty
Make sure you close all safety pins
or else you might hurt your next of kins
Subject: Ok, OK! I try .. ONE.. just ONE! :-)
Posted By: Tigger
If you want your smile to shine with a high gloss,
Don't forget to use your daily supply of floss.
Subject: from ICQ
Posted By: Bart McSlart, aged 6 3/4
If you stay up late at night
In the morning you will be a sight.
by Bart, Northern Ireland
Subject: from ICQ
Posted By: Bart McSlart, aged 6 3/4
If you don't wash behind your lugs
You will suffer lots of bugs.
by Bart, Northern Ireland