Subject: Calling the Pink
Posted By: Action Man
Is it OK if I upgrade myself to Action Man 2000 now? It's much the same as Action Man 95 but you get to send Microsoft another cheque and they get to start a new megalist of bug patches on their website.

Subject: Re: Calling the Pink
Posted By: the pink panther
you can only call yourself Action Man 2000 if you get this velcro out of my pink fur. it is starting to itch

Subject: Oh no, Pink.....
Posted By: Cher
He's awake He's on a roll And He's all yours.... LOL Enjoy your day !

Subject: Velcro removal
Posted By: Action Man
That could be a tricky one.... I think it'll need Alpo. Did you know she is related to a Which Doctor? Her Mom used to work for Yellow Pages, on the Medical section.

Subject: yellow pages?? aha!!!
Posted By: the pink one
is that why she has black and yellow stripes?

Subject: Re: Velcro removal
Posted By: Alpo
Which doctor was that??? How about we both grab an end and pull on the count of three..just like a bandage. ;]

Subject: Re: Velcro removal
Posted By: WordSmith
Well, let's just try ONE piece, shall we? ready? One.. Two.. THREE!!!!!!!!!! Hey great, it worked! Look, there's only a little skin and blood attacked to it. Where's the Pink One gone? Is that hole in the ceiling really her silhouette?

Subject: yyeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooww
Posted By: the pink cat
in the twentieth century thay used to give a girl a glass of rum before they did that sort of thing

Subject: Re: yyeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooww
Posted By: WordSmith
Dammit, that's where I went wrong... I always preferred them conscious.

Subject: Re: yyeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooww
Posted By: Alpo
Well it's the 21st century now!!! Want some dramboozie? Or how about some iced tea? Antiseptic? Bullet to bite on? I'm just trying to live up to ol' mom's example. ;]

Subject: a little pain to start the day...
Posted By: insane
should stop bleeding around dinner time

Subject: Re: a little pain to start the day...
Posted By: WordSmith
How many more bits of velcro are there to go? If there's one for each day of the week, we should really make this a long party.

Subject: Re: a little pain to start the day...
Posted By: the hurting pink cat
and there are still 93 pieces to go

Subject: Re: a little pain to start the day...
Posted By: insane
think we can make it last to the next new years?...and the grand finale

Subject: 93 pieces
Posted By: WordSmith
I feel a song coming on...... anybody got a banjo or mouth organ? Oh right, Alpo's got a kizzoo.

Subject: just hold it right there...........
Posted By: the pink panther
i'm the one with the velcro. i get the rum. RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: Re: a little pain to start the day...
Posted By: Alpo
We could make a song of it..to compliment the Cave Singing Song. "On the first day of the velcro removal, my true love gave to me.. a big long bandage to stop the bleeding." *beam*

Subject: Rum and Velcro
Posted By: WordSmith
Hmmm.. that's a bad mixture. How about a little orange squash, we could manage that?

Subject: I got a great idea.....
Posted By: WordSmith
How about we shave the Pink One? That's get rid of the Velcro without any pain at all, and we get to keep all the rum.

Subject: Velcro on the rocks...
Posted By: insane
with a pink chaser.....guess she wanted to keep her fur

Subject: Shave?
Posted By: Sweeney Todd
S-s-s-s-sure, j-j-j-j-j-just take a s-s-s-s-seat in my ch-ch-ch-chair, Pink One.

Subject: Re: I got a great idea.....
Posted By: insane
we can always dye the velcro pink...and claim a bad hair day...and we still keep the rum...(tigger any paint left in the props kit?)

Subject: THIS IS A FAMILY FORUM
Posted By: the pink ozcat
FULL FELINE FRONTAL NUDITY. you wouldn't dare. and don't think that you will be able to keep me under wraps until my fur grows again because i intend to parade myself here regardless - or regarded

Subject: Or how about...
Posted By: Alpo
(to the tune of "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall) *smile* "93 velcros to rip off the pink 93 velcros to rip, you take one off.. there's more to go 93 velcros to rip off the pink."

Subject: on the back side...
Posted By: insane
if you can type backwards we can still keep it a family forum

Subject: OK then, it's gotta be lawnmower racing
Posted By: WordSmith
I reckon a 50cc lawnmower with a turbocharger can get maybe 14 miles an hour. So, as long as she can outrun it, she's safe. It's onloy got about 30 minutes of fuel and, if it should happen that it catches her, she'll have enjoyed the sport so much that she'll be glad to have been caught and mown by it. Well, isn't that always the hunter's argument for hunting, that the animal enjoys the sport?

Subject: Re: I got a great idea.....
Posted By: Tigger
I have lots of fluffy pink cats suits... that should keep her warm once we get rid of all her fur.... Now, boss, you never know..you fur might grow back in all silkly like..hmmm..or maybe even another color. That's a thought! ;]

Subject: Re: OK then, it's gotta be lawnmower racing
Posted By: the pink panther
all i was suggesting was a little private time with WordSmith whilst he removed my velcro bit by bit. *sigh* i'll have to think of something else

Subject: deer racing....
Posted By: insane
and for our next sporting event....bambi will out run the bullet.....(go bambi go.....the fans hopes where crushed when the disillusioned deer jumped into the grand stand)

Subject: Pink body toupé
Posted By: WordSmith
I think I see a solution arising here, one which keeps the Pinkness's nakedness hidden from L-E-X-Y eyes. While she has no real fur, she will have no real strength, but once it's grown back she will be twice her old strength. Then just watch out any restaurants she goes that has a couple of adjacent pillars in it. But first.... should this body toupé be glued on, or should be use pins?

Subject: kind of partial to pens
Posted By: insane
but with the glue we can keep doing it over again....sort of like friday gang night

Subject: Re: Pink body toupé
Posted By: the pink one
hmmmmmmmmm. i thought that it only worked with temples. i'd hate to crush the mousse

Subject: Pens?
Posted By: WordSmith
Hmm never thought of using pens. But you have a point (nib) there... a couple of Waterman mapping pens to tuck in around the neck, then a few discretely placed Parkers around the waist and (ahem) knees, followed by a Shaeffer or two at the paws. It could work.

Subject: Re: Pens?
Posted By: insane
a little body art....could take awhile to agree on the stripping arrangement

Subject: those sort of pens??????
Posted By: the pink one
i was thinking more of fan dancing. we could dye the feathers pink and that could be a real class act

Subject: Re: Pink body toupé
Posted By: WordSmith
The elk will be quite safe, as long as you don't break his antlers. Just remember that he's only with you for a few weeks while your natural fur grows back. While we're putting the toupé together, are there any little changes you'd like, maybe a bouffant look, or Shirley Temple curls? Blue highlights are something of a speciality of mine.

Subject: blue?? BLUE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: the pink cat
just whose side are you on anyway??

Subject: Re: Pens? - you MEN !!
Posted By: the pink one
all the same. not content with shaving a girl - now you want to strip her as well. in public, but.

Subject: Re: blue?? BLUE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: insane
and yes the green lightning bolt have you thought about one paw yellow? and maybe we can go with the bell bottom look now...

Subject: Fan dancing
Posted By: WordSmith
OK then, that's it. We'll get a dozen pink-dyed ostrich feathers and you get to dance all through our rum-soaked party. In the meantime, insane will continue his tattoing.Please don't say too much about his spelling, he can be very sensitive about that. Besides, if it really gets to be a problem, we can always learn to call you "The Punk Une".

Subject: The bell bottom look
Posted By: WordSmith
No, don't go there.

Subject: HEYY!!!!!!!
Posted By: insane
ii'm trying

Subject: Everybody got their razors at the ready?
Posted By: WordSmith
Before we start on her, let's synchronize our watches at the mark.... MARK. Oh sorry, that was my dog, he's got a lisp.

Subject: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted By: Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Subject: the public shaving
Posted By: insane
big money to be had.....exclusive rights to pay-per-view

Subject: Alpo, WHERE are the ostrich feathers?
Posted By: WordSmith
This was your part of the job, so WHERE are they? The Punk Une is getting cold and, poor girl, is now red all over. Insane has got cameras from all over the world on her, waiting for the dance to start.... but they're getting more than they bargaind for.

Subject: ostrich feathers??????????
Posted By: the pink one
not even going to allow me my swan song/dance now *sob*

Subject: Great, NOW she wants swan's feather
Posted By: WordSmith
OK, someone go out and find a white swan to kill....

Subject: I'm coming, I'M COMING!!!!!
Posted By: Alpo
(running in flustered with bits of feather stuck in her hair) Well.. they are still a bit damp from the pink dye..but if she keeps waving them around, they will soon dry off.

And don't wave too hard ...cause I'm not sure if the gum that is holding them together at the bottom is going to hold or not.

Subject: a feather from the crowd...
Posted By: insane
mommy why is daddy killing that swan?

Subject: Some people
Posted By: White Swan
Some people can be Soooooooooooo ungrateful. She no longer is irritated by velcro or dandruff, and all she can do is complain. Well, I'm going to show he how it should be done. here pass me that cut-throat razor.... ... ack.. ... there [cough] I've cut my own [choke] throat.

Subject: Re: I'm coming, I'M COMING!!!!!
Posted By: WordSmith
Umm... did we disturb you? Oh sorry sir, here's a dressing gown.

Subject: there is no need to go in for the killing bit
Posted By: the pink one
swans moult!!!!!!!!!!!!! just go and gather the crop for goodness sake. what sort of people am i consorting with here??

Subject: Re: I'm coming, I'M COMING!!!!!
Posted By: Alpo
(hands on hips) Give me a break!!! Now did I hear right? She want's SWAN feathers? Best I can do is goose...

Subject: better slip into the dark side....
Posted By: insane
hope i can catch the dance on the morning news...have a good night...

Subject: Re: there is no need to go in for the killing bit
Posted By: Naked, dead white swan
Now she tells me.

Subject: Sweet dreams, insane
Posted By: WordSmith
And just put that barrel of rum back before you leave the room, please.

Subject: Re: better slip into the dark side....
Posted By: Alpo
Good night Insane! Your assistance has been invaluable... don't forget your piece of velcroed fur for posterity... ;]

Subject: Re: better slip into the dark side....
Posted By: the pink ozcat
goodnight and sleep well.

Subject: FOR SALE: pink furry bits of Velcro
Posted By: WordSmith
Special limited edition, only 1000 authentic bits of Velcro guaranteed to come The Punk Une and each one personally signed by her. Contact the Brooklyn Mint with your credit card number and we promise to deduct your first installment without delay.

Subject: Alert to Fighter Squadrons
Posted By: Air Traffic Control
A pink furry unidentified flying object is in your viciniy. Please intercept and identify..... do not fire at unless fired upon.

Subject: Re: Alert to Fighter Squadrons
Posted By: Red One
"Awh, thi i squawk lea in ex. We are pre jo under cloud fla bik. Over"

Subject: Re: Alert to Fighter Squadrons
Posted By: Pilot of an F15
Ummm.. tower? We just spotted the bogie going straight up...literally. I don't think we can follow...copy?

Subject: Red One
Posted By: Air Traffic Control
"Thank you Red One. Please huj kra bly crackle crackle smartish please. Over"

Subject: F15 Pilot
Posted By: Tornado Pilot
Straight up? Better leave it to us then (yuck yuck).

Subject: i've just had an idea
Posted By: the punk une
would you believe that the smelter for the perth mint was burned to the ground yesterday. the firemen used foam instead of water so that the gold would not be washed away and it is all in the sump waiting to be reclaimed. perhaps a quick visit might repay THE PUNK

Subject: Perth Mint
Posted By: WordSmith
My dog can't say that.. he keeps trying, but he just collapses in laughter halfway through it.

Subject: Re: Perth Mint
Posted By: the punk une
have you checked his teeth lately. the vets do a nice line in doggie dentures these days. guaranteed to cure the lithps of any dogth

Subject: Re: Perth Mint
Posted By: Tigger
I hear those are really good after a spicy meal..

Subject: Pink feather dancing and foam
Posted By: WordSmith
Is this a combination which you can trust yourself to be featured in, or do you think it will inflame passions out of control and maybe even into the realms of the Murdoch Publishing Emporium?

Subject: Re: Pink feather dancing and foam
Posted By: the pink one
page 3???????????

Subject: Maybe even a centre page spread
Posted By: WordSmith
I believe sardine and tomato is quite a popular spread down there,

Subject: i've been imitated by a kiwi pink one
Posted By: the pink ozcat
you can always puck the uccent

Subject: Re: i've been imitated by a kiwi pink one
Posted By: WordSmith
Just keep those feathers moving!

Subject: Re: Maybe even a centre page spread
Posted By: the pink one
is it just me or have there really been some double entendres floating around. maybe i'm getting light-headed. the management wishes to state that krage is NO relation to the writer

Subject: Re: Maybe even a centre page spread
Posted By: WordSmith
I think Alpo was getting beside herself at one point... tch tch. Notice I said NOTHING about her goose reference? I'm far too innocent to get involved in that kind of thing.

Subject: Re: Maybe even a centre page spread
Posted By: the pink one
ROTFL. goodnight my very dear friend

Subject: Re: snap !!
Posted By: the punk une
obviously you have not done any back reading yet. i can't quite remember - WordSmith, though

Subject: Aha!
Posted By: ColoKid
Of course, WS! LOL So how long will you be Punk? I guess I'd best backread to find the details......

Subject: Re: Aha!
Posted By: minnie the punk
i think that it was something to do with being shaved and tattooed

Subject: ROFLOL!!!
Posted By: ColoKid
You just COULDN'T stand that velcro and tinsel ONE MORE minute could you......About 1/2 way through.....LOL Geez Pink, I mean Punk.....You should have let Tigger and I handle it......INSANE AND WS???????

Subject: Re: ROFLOL!!!
Posted By: minnie the punk
they meant well - i think. hmmmmmmm maybe not!

Subject: Well the swan feathers ARE nice.....
Posted By: ColoKid
BUT THE TATTOO'S! They have to go. What kind of respect can you gain as Minnie the Punk????*gasp* WHAT WILL B CARTLAND SAY?????

Subject: Re: Well the swan feathers ARE nice....
Posted By: minnie the punk
pooh to her!! SHE hasn't got a stud through her navel!!

Subject: LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!
Posted By: ColoKid
Oh dear, you ARE a year 2000 panther!!!! I WILL have to talk to Insane and WS.....they are obviously a TERRIBLE influence LOL

Subject: Re: LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!
Posted By: minnie the pink
i think that we were all a bit spaced out - W/S and tigger had had no sleep and i had forgotten to have breakfast or lunch. no excuse for insane, though

Subject: Insane needs no excuse......
Posted By: ColoKid
That's why we CALL him insane. LOL Well Miss Feathery Punk, I must get ready to start back to work today (Boo Hiss) *sob* No more lovely naps! No more lovely books!!! Have a great evening and for heavens sake, keep those feathers waving! LOL

Subject: Whoops! Almost forgot!!
Posted By: ColoKid
Can I put MY order in for my super duper 20th century velcro patch....I'd like one with tinsel please!!! LOL

Subject: Re: Whoops! Almost forgot!!
Posted By: minnie the punk
i think that they have all been sold but check with WordSmith - HE is the one who is capitalising on my shame

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