This explaination was received at the PINK HEADQUARTERS, from Captain WordSmith, in response to a query as to why the gang's credit card had reached its limit and beyond.

Well the first jump jet was an accident that could happen to anyone... after all, it's not every plane that's got reverse, is it? The way she went backwards off the runway and through the hangar was really impressive, and the natives applauded her for nearly three minutes.

Now the second Harrier, well that was just a combination of things. The weather wasn't too good, and she was feeling a bit unwell after the party. But she's learnt now, and will never again try to open an umbrella in the cockpit to keep the sun out.

The third one.... well look, everybody asks what the black and yellow striped lever is when they get into the cockpit for the first time. She hadn't noticed it before, and thought it was a snake... perfectly natural reaction to grab it. At least we know the ejector seat worked as advertised.

The fourth Harrier is still listed as "Missing In Action" and the official enquiry is waiting until all the wreckage is recovered before commenting further. That will probably happen when the salvage company lifts the oil tanker off the bottom of the pacific ocean. We believe most of the fuselage and wings will be found in the Bridge, because that's where she hit it. In fairness, it WAS a very silly place to leave an oil tanker, sat on top of the ocean like that. Anybody could have hit it. It just happened to be Blondie.

Now the fifth Harrier was a really interesting case.... I mean, how many aircraft, while on missile practice, have actually managed to shoot themselves down?

The sixth Harrier was probably a technical fault because the engine really shouldn't have stopped like that. There was little she could do about it once that happened, but luckily she wasn't very high up at the time. Funny, I'm sure those trees that she was flying over at the time were taller than they are now.

The seventh was just "one of those aircraft".. a real rogue from the day she got it. OK, so she crashed it the day she got it, but she didn't like the look of it straight away, I could tell. Anyway, the vertical take-off itself was OK, but (due to a minor oversight and following our usual security precautions with Pink equipment) we still had the Harrier chained to the ground. As she pulled forward she immediately realised something was wrong and tried to put on the handbrake. Now the Harrier doesn't have a handbrake as such but I admit the throttle lever does look a little like a handbrake in certain lighting conditions. Anyway, we still have the back-half of the aircraft on the chain, if you want to try selling that.

The eighth was a really, really sad case. If I hadn't seen it myself I'd never have believed it. I still think it was a great idea of hers to pull into that garage forecourt because their fuel was a good price and, yes, it was a DOUBLE STAMPS AND COUPONS day. Funny how a lot of people think jet fuel is powerful... it's paraffin. When she put in neat petrol, she wasn't to know it would be like supercharging the engine. I just wish she'd turned the engine off while she fuelled up, that's all. The fuel didn't hit the engine until she went in to pay for it using her stolen LEXY credit card. She was just putting her 63rd case of glasses into the trunk (those Harriers take a lot of fuel) when the thing leapt forward on its own and attacked that mack truck that was innocently waiting there. Well, we had to take severe measures to stop it. The Mack truck owner says he's gonna sue if his truck is pregnant by that attack.

The ninth Harrier she has admitted was an accident. She was taxiing out to the take-off point when, suddenly, she realised we were almost out of bread and tacos. Without thinking, she turned and 'drove' out to the shopping mall. Forgetting she was in a Harrier Jump Jet with 22,000 pounds of static thrust available, that quick blip on the throttle at the second intersection destroyed three houses and accelerated her to 240 miles an hour. She barely noticed how narrow that alley was as she tried to park, but she did realise the crunching sound sounded a lot like wings, and that was when she remembered she wasn't in her usual Cadillac.

The 10th Harrier, the one that's in the Repair Shops now, is just a little bit damaged by the fire that destroyed the fuel bowser and pumps. It's not as bad as it looks, and we could always turn it into a night fighter now that it's got that sooty finsh all over it. Oh yes, and Blondie promises not to use any more votive candles around the fuel dump at night. Well, not that we've got a fuel dump anymore.

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