2-12-2004 - Thursday

Robert is back, for what it is worth. He phoned me but says that he doesn't know when he will be able to see me. I need a different man but how am I going to meet one at the library. The men all get their wives to change their books for them.

I caught Mandy throwing up again this morning; now we are in a real fix! I'm assuming the obvious and that the early morning vomiting is not due to a brain tumour, given what she has been doing for the last few weeks. No wonder she has been bawling in her room for the past week or so with Julian doing a disappearing act. Ooooops!! I've just had a horrible thought - Julian or Peter??? Neither is in very good shape to take on the responsibilities of fatherhood. LOL - at least Mandy has a rich father.

The police were around to question Peter again. The one doing the "bad cop" act is rather cute; I wonder what he would be like when he was being a bit nicer to people. Even a bad cop would be a better prospect than Robert at this stage but he is probably married too. The story of my life.

5-12-2004 - Sunday

Robert came around for a short time on Friday night - the RAT !!!!! Having satisfied himself he said that he had to get going - forget about my needs - he got dressed and left!!! He once said that one of the things he disliked most was a selfish lover !! Hmmm ! So I spent yesterday crying too. We are a very soggy trio here.

I have decided that he is not worth crying over and I figure that a new man is what I need. That is going to mean some serious retail therapy; I must see which celebrity has put out the most recent collection of undies - I think that it might have been Kylie Minogue. Anyway - I shall go and inspect the talent and hope that the bad cop comes and grills Peter again.

Mandy is stil throwing up in the mornings. I think that she thinks that I haven't noticed and, to be quite honest, I'm not sure if she has actually realised the implications; Peter certainly hasn't. For a couple of clever people they are not very bright: But somebody is going to have to say something soon because she is going to have to decide what she does about this thing and Peter really needs to get into the act one way or another.

Monday tomorrow and all those books through the slot to be sorted and shelved. I can think of better ways of starting the week.

6-12-2004 - Monday

Peter came home from work (work?? what work - they haven't got any computers) in a very shaken-up state. He says that he nearly went under a train on his way home. He says that he was standing on the platform waiting for the train to pull in and in the crush of people he was pushed forwards and nearly fell onto the line. I don't like the sound of that at all; I suspect that he knows more than he should about what has been going on at his work and he needs to tell the police all he knows. I asked him if he had reported to the police about the train bit but he says that it was just people pushing to get to the doors first to get a seat.

So, OK, there is usually a bit of a scrum but not before the train pulls in to the platform and once it is alongside the platform there is no chance of falling onto the rails; there is no 'mind the gap' danger here.

Dare I suggest to him that someone might be out to get him?? And should I add to his troubles by telling him that Mandy is probably going to have a baby and that possibly it is his and that he needs to get in on the act when she decides what she is going to do about it and that if he does the right thing by her it may not be his baby at all?

Should I go to the police and tell them about Peter's narrow escape from the jaws of death, or was it truly an accident? Maybe I could go and see the bad cop. LOL - difficult - I don't know what his name is.

11-12-2004 - Saturday

Sorry about the big gap - it is very hard to use a computer without a monitor and mine died. *sigh*

I have a new one now but didn't have time to go shopping during the week on account of Mrs Harmon wouldn't give me time off and she doesn't allow us to use the computers at work for 'personal' business.

Mind you, nothing of any great moment has happened since last Monday evening. Peter has his computer back and nobody else has tried to push him under a train so maybe it really was just an accident. The police are still hovering, though. They are still cracking the codes in the computers from Peter's work and obviously the ones belonging to some of his workmates' personal ones as well.

The 'bad' cop is not being as nasty as he used to be. Peter seems to be in the clear although, Like me, the police obviously suspect that he knows more than he is letting on. I think that they have realised that bullying him is not going to work. I'd suggest that a pretty little lady cop might have more success except that I think that Peter has enough woman trouble at the moment without involving the police.

The bad cop's name is Miles Hanrahan. :)

Mandy is still throwing up in the mornings.

12-12-2004 Sunday

Things are starting to get a bit serious! Peter and a group of people from his work had a day at the beach followed by a barbecue and booze-up as a sort of Christmas-cum-cheering up sort of do.

It was a typical summer day here - strong early sea breeze so the conditions in the water were not ideal with the surf up and a bit of a rip running. Peter said that they were all in the water and someone grabbed his legs and pulled him under. It was only a lucky dumper which made whoever it was let go and by the time he had picked himself up and looked around he had no idea who it was who had played the "trick" as he called it. And of course, he can't see beyond his nose without his glasses so he had no hope of recognising anyone even close by.

He is trying to convince himself that it was just horseplay but I am not so sure. I asked him exactly what it was that was being investigated at his work and he got very evasive, just mumbling something about someone hacking into some governmental department computer. He will not report either accident to the police but I see it as two attempts to keep him quiet so he obviously knows something more about it all than he is letting on.

Tomorrow I shall phone up Crime Stoppers and try to get connected to D/I Hanrahan or Mandy's baby will be a double orphan before it is even born, poor little thing. Mandy has gone home for the weekend; I hope that she is going to tell her parents about her predicament but I'm not holding my breath.

13-12-2004 - Monday

I phoned Crime Stoppers first thing this morning and said that I might have some information about the investigation at Peter's work and that I'd like to speak to D/I Hanrahan. I left my home and work number with them and he phoned me a couple of hours later at work. He suggested that we should meet for lunch and I could give him the information without freaking the library staff. That is not the way he put it but it is what he meant.

So we met at the Golden Arches and over a hamburger and chips I told him that I thought that Peter knew more than he was letting on and that I was only ratting on him because he had had a couple of funny episodes and I was concerned that somebody was trying to silence him before he told the police.

I explained about the train and the bit about somebody grabbing his legs at Cottesloe Beach yesterday but that both could have simply been co-incidences. Miles - he asked me to call him that because Detective Inspector Hanrahan was a bit of a mouthful - said that he would see if he could shake Peter up a bit and find out what is going on. He said that with the knowledge that someone might be trying to kill him, Peter might be a bit more forthcoming one way or another but that it gave the police a bit of a lever.

After that he stopped being a cop and we exchanged life stories. Mine was predictably boring but his was very interesting - and HE IS NOT MARRIED.

Dear Diary, I will tell you more about him later because it is my bedtime and tomorrow is a working day.

14-12-2004 - Tuesday

Robert came around this evening. *sigh* I can't help loving him even though I know that it is not a good idea. He is married but his wife keeps going home to her parents so it is a sort of on/off relationship. However, he has made it plain that he will not leave her so my only chance is if she decides to stay with her parents and since she keeps on coming back I can't see that happening either. Luckily there are no children and that may be the problem - she can't have any.

Damn!! Damn!! Damn!! I need to get on with my life. It is all very well to fantasize about hansome policemen but until I can cure myself of Robert I'll never be able to move on. I've bought myself a book called 'How to Break your Addiction to a Person' but it is not helping much and I'm not strong enough to tell him to never contact me again. I love him so much.

To make matters even worse, Miles came around to talk to Peter while Robert was here and probably got quite the wrong impression - or maybe the right one - about our relationship. Peter was pretty upset after Miles had finished with him and so was I so we are winding up to a very happy Christmas at this rate. Mandy gets back tomorrow - and a good time was had by all (that is a family catch-phrase - I'll explain it one day).

16-12-2004 - Thursday

Is it possible that anybody can be that simple??? Peter came out all worried and said that he was very concerned about Mandy (who is still treating him as though he is not there) and that he had noticed that she was throwing up in the mornings. So what does he do?? He puts 'morning vomiting' into google and now wonders if she has a brain tumour. I can't beleive it; I tried the same thing to see what came up and there was one hit about brain tumours and all the rest were about morning sickness and he seems to have totally missed the obvious !!

I can't tell him what I think is the problem without talking to Mandy first so I told him that maybe he should take his worries to Mandy herself and suggest that she should see a doctor - or something! Since Mandy is ignoring him this is not going to be easy and I suspect that in the end it will be me who has to confront her and find out (a) if she realises the implications and (b) what is she going to do about them.

If it hasn't occurred to Peter that she might be pregnant either he was never told the facts of life during his formative years or they were practising 'safe sex' in which case Julian looks to be the most likely father and it would be unfair to saddle Peter with the outcome of Mandy's little fling. Poor Peter - as though he didn't have enough on his plate at the moment.

Nothing exciting in my life at the moment. I can't put my heart into snaffling Miles while Robert is around and not only do I not really want him out of my life but I get the feeling that he doesn't want to be out of my life so I'm going about things in a very un-wholehearted way and getting no help from anyone. Maybe I should try the old affirmation "Every day and in every way I am getting Miles and Miles."

Maybe tomorrow Mandy and Peter will have sorted out their mutual problem, though I can't see that adding to the joys of the season.

17-12-2004 - Friday

This would all be funny if it wasn't so awful. Peter felt that he had to talk to Mandy about her upchucking in the mornings so he waited until she was in her room and went and knocked on the door and went in. I don't know what he said but it resulted in Mandy throwing every book on her bookshelf at him and had started throwing the furniture before he beat a hasty retreat.

He is very upset now and firmly convinced that Mandy has a brain tumour and that it has started to affect her brain. Oh, dear!!! I am going to have to go in and tell her that I'm about to put Peter right on exactly what is causing her to be sick in the mornings. And furthermore, I will tell her that if she is going to sublet that she will either have to behave herself or pay more rent. I'm getting fed up with the whole thing. But not tonight; OK - so I am a coward!! Learn to live with it, Imogen.

Thank goodness it is Friday!

I had lunch with Miles today - not at the Golden Arches this time; we went to a nice little cafe just down the road from the library. He said that it was a thank you for telling him that Peter knew something about the hacking. So far there have been no results on that but - LOL - they have found a great deal of porn on some of the computers which were confiscated and a couple had paedophilia on them so there have been a couple of arrests for a totally different crime. At least Peter is in the clear there - nobody could mistake Mandy for anyone under the age of consent; she is all curves and dead sexy looking.

19-12-2004 - Sunday

I tackled Mandy yesterday. I decided that it would be counter-productive to pussyfoot around the subject so I asked her outright if she was pregnant or not. Predictibly she burst into tears but I think that it was as much relief that she finally had someone to talk to about it as anything else. She said that she thought that she was but wasn't sure so we went to Woolies and bought one of those pregnancy testing kits and sure enough ... !

The poor girl has been worried out of her mind and scared to say anything because she didn't know how any of us would react to the news. I gave her a cup of tea and a hug and then we got down to business. She has no idea whether Peter of Julian is the father and doesn't want to foist someone else's baby onto Peter but at the same time she is looking for a safe refuge and Peter would certainly be that - now that we know that he is neither a paedophile nor a hacker.

I wasn't sure how she would take it but I felt that I had to mention termination which, in her circumstances, would be the most sensible thing since the baby is due just a couple of months before her final exams but, thank goodness, she wants to keep it. I'm all for choice but I could NEVER terminate a pregnancy myself. I asked her if she wanted me to break the news to Peter or if she would do it herself. She is a bit shaky about it but will tell him herself.

LOL - personally I suspect that he will be so relieved that she hasn't got a brain tumour that he will be only too happy to hear about it. At this stage I think that the paternity issue is best left alone. They can sort that one out later.

24-12-2004 - Friday

Christmas day tomorrow and things are not happy chez Imogen.

Peter has gone very quiet. Mandy told him about the baby and he has gallantly offered to marry her, an offer which was roundly rejected by Mandy. I suspect that Peter is relieved but determined to do the right thing by the girl he thinks that he loves. However, I think that reality is starting to set in; his job is in jeopardy if the police can't find the hacker, the baby is probably not his and I don't think that either he or Mandy is ready to settle down.

Mandy is going home for Christmas day and hopefully she will tell her parents about the baby; best to get it over with if she intends to keep it. Personally, I think that she is too immature to embrace motherhood but she could surprise us all.

Robert hasn't put in an appearance for a few days now - his marriage must be in an 'on' period with his wife doing a goodwill to men and all that sort of thing over Christmas. Maybe if he stays away for long enough I'll be able to put him out of my mind and get on with my life. I haven't seen anything of Miles; oh, well !

Happy Christmas to all my loyal readers. :)

28-12-2004 - Tuesday

Thank goodness that is over !!!!

Christmas Day was horrible. It was just Peter and me on Saturday and he spent the whole day asking me if I thought that he should "do the right thing and marry Mandy". I kept on telling him that so long as Mandy refused to marry him it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference if he wanted to do the right thing or not because he wouldn't be able to. That put the bloom on the gloom and we both ended up getting drunk and crying on each others' shoulders. One disadvantage of married lovers is that they are never there when they are needed.

Sunday was better - we had a whole heap of friends over for a barbecue and got drunk again but it was a lot more fun doing it that time around. :)

Mandy got back yesterday and I asked her if she had told her parents about the baby. *sigh* She says that until she has the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor she is not even going to think about it. Ye gods !!!!!!!!! What is one supposed to do with a girl like that; if she refuses to think about it then how long is it going to be before she actually goes to see a doctor and gets to be official? I guess that it is her problem not mine but she is going to get a rude shock on about seven and a half months; and with her finals a couple of months after that.

29-12-2004 - Wednesday

Peter is in hospital ! First day back at work and he was bowled over by a car on his way out to lunch. At least the police are taking it seriously this time. I was only allowed in to see him for five minutes and there was a very large cop sitting by the door to make sure that I didn't do him a mischief or whisk him off under the noses of the hospital staff.

I thought that Mandy should be the one to visit him - family and all that - but she is stoutly maintaining that her unborn child will be born with a big bump on its head if she goes anywhere near him. I suspect that she hasn't ever seen a newborn baby because she obviously doesn't realise that their heads are usually a funny shape. LOL - she is going to get a shock in a few months.

Peter has concussion and a broken ankle; he was lucky. When I arrived he was drifting in and out of conciousness and there was a rather pretty nurse monitoring him. He was mumbling about angels - how trite! Maybe it will give Mandy something to think about if he turns his attention to another female. *grin*

He should be able to come home in a couple of days but the police want him safely under their eye so he is to stay for a bit longer. I'll drop in again tomorrow and take him in a nightshirt; at the moment he is in one of those undignified hospital gowns, open up the back and covered in pink flowers. Serves him right - he should have come clean to Miles about what he knows.