4 April 2003
Today's postcard comes to you from my own backyard: In a faithful rendition of a very bad, very old Charles Atlas magazine ad, I'll give you the before and after pictures.
BEFORE: Ugly and unloved, a veritable eyesore.
But it didn't have to remain that way. With sheer force of will, a lot of commitment and hard slog, battling against what seemed at times to be insurmountable odds with red tape, financial pitfalls, arguments and other problems with contractors, the eyesore was transformed into a sight for sore eyes.
Wow, just think, I could get a job with the war effort as a propagandist! (Insert short pause here for quick dash to bathroom to throw up then wash own mouth out with soap)
For those of you who don't already know, my current abode has an interesting history. Among its many incarnations it has variously been gainfully employed as:
A TATTOO PARLOUR:
This explains the why the front room, now guest room, comes equipped with its own shower (for after) and a wall of glass blocks (for privacy);
A GUN SHOP:
I am reliably informed that it was fitted out with all the latest gun shop mod cons including its very own firing range. While this sounds all very grand, I believe the firing range consisted of some sort of pipe into which guns could safely be test fired.
It's also rumoured to have been used as a bordello, although the layout doesn't quite seem to fit. I don't think that one room and one shower (see Tattoo Parlour above) would suffice for this type of 'business', funny or otherwise.
But my strata development brings to a close this interesting history. The subdivision approval stipulates that the front of the house can no longer be used for retail/commercial purposes.
Damn! And just when I was getting my shop cum junk room into the sort of frenzied squalor which would be sure to attract paying customers. Not!
Anyway, back to the theme of today's postcard...
AFTER: Still ugly! But a whole lot more expensive ugly!
I leave you, scratching my head, wondering where all that money went, and why?