QE II Does The Avon Descent
by Martin Clancy-Lowe
Trying to compete in the Avon in a craft over 7 metres long, with a rudder that only has about 5cm in the water and that's on flat water and built for the ocean is always going to be a trial.
Well for this year's Avon we had the QEII repaired, after spending the last two weeks after scruitineering in dry dock getting the seams, hull and rudder ready for another Descent.
Grid 4 day one, our earliest start. We took the QEII to Northam Weir, and because she's a little heavy and sits low in the water - we ran aground. Driver off and drag the QEII down the weir. Unfortunately a plastic in the wrong grid then threw out QEII into the right hand channel, by the time we mmanaged to get the big beast to the left of the river we had lost 4 or 5 double ski grids - not bad for only the first kilometre.
Luckily for us, we had recently trained in this section of the course so by the time we got to Katrine, we had got back to the top of our field, excluding the young maniacs that move at speeds we in the QEII can only dream of. My partner looked up at the bridge and still talks about the warning he got in his first year (2002) as a virgin. "Be careful to duck when going under Katrine". He claims he'd still have trouble hitting it with his head if he stood on the ski.
We managed to get through Glen Avon without hurting the QEII this year, then some young guys caught us and our silly competitive nature forced us to hang in with them until Extract's. Then for some reason they let the old guys go first - either they thought we'd know where to go, or they were hoping we'd show where not to go! Well, it was the latter this year.
We got the QEII up onto the licorice sticks and then she stopped, BUGGER !! so we had to duckpaddle with legs and arms down the licorice to the bottom. Didn't fall off which was a bonus.
(The young guys did - haha). Support crew on the correct side of the bank this time so we topped up with Mars Bars, bananas, Mars Bars and Mars Bars . . .
Off we went, trying to negotiate the trickle down the river on the QEII. At the next big obstacle, Toodyay Rapid, where we took the QEII was very shallow . We heard the clink, clink, clink of the rudder catching rocks all the way down the main run. Over, fine - still no bone crunching sound of fibre glass breaking - Day One seems to be going well !
Ti-trees - now this is where the fun really starts in a boat over seven metres long. Our main rule is: point the nose downstream, pick a channel (or a presumed channel) and paddle like crazy. If the channel exists the QEII will get through, if it doesn't you might be lucky to create one, if not you end up looking at the river from a gannet's nest in the tree. The worst thing with this technique is that it assumes all shrubs are small ti-trees. It doesn't allow for the large branches and river gums that seem to have a main branch just above water level pointing upstream. The front gets around but the last 5 metres including the back paddler usually get cleaned up - medieval jousting style - by a bloody great branch! Although, having said that, this year in the race we managed to miss all of them, it must have been all the broken ribs during training that taught my mate on the back to duck faster, do a draw stroke or in case of emergency JUMP OFF, into the .5 m river.We arrived at the finish of Day One in 8th position in the double skis - our best - not bad for a couple of geriatrics who should be using zimmerframes.
Day Two - don't you love how the organisers manage to get 600 craft grids in an order that only they understand, (grid 14) in a font no one can read on boards about a metre wide and expect everyone to be at the start on time!Well, we mananaged that part but then found that someone (must have been the support crew) forgot to get one of the access covers from the car (SHIT) - 2mins before start and a hole in the boat 10cm in diameter. Well after running to the car and back we did manage to start in the grid after ours, but I was knackered after all that running.
Off we went blazing a path through the ti-trees with other double skis. Don't you hate them as the river is not big enough for one let alone two in the same section of river. We ran out of water, ran out of luck and fell out and it was cold and still very foggy.Over Posselts -can't see too far but the QEII was going straight. Down the Supershoot - WOOO missed the rock that tore a hole last year. Over some shitting rapids in the lead-in to Emu's - DON'T FOLLOW A PLASTIC. We did - they bounce off rocks - we crunched and I could smell fibreglass (bugger) and we still have a long way to go. Emu's - we never walk. How do you carry a 7 metre boat through the path when paddling takes no time at all, except for the two double skis that had managed to send their crews into the water. We stopped on our first red flag, then down to the Washing Machine - the right path had another double ski without crew. We were encouraged (as that's my excuse for going that way) into the left side at the Washing Machine. The only problem is that there is a sharp left turn five metres down a fast flowing chute, in which a double ski CANNOT manouvre. We were commited to going straight and straight into a bloody HUGE rock. Smash, crack, I think that's the nose, and ouch thats my bum . . ! I landed on some bloody rock. Fortunately, double skis do bounce clear so we got down and climbed back on, still an intact QEII, two paddlers and two complete paddles.
Championships - and the QEII finally decided she would only turn or go where SHE wanted! We got a little too right and at the bottom HIT full on the rocks on the side another crack on the nose OUCH, but despite turning 180 degrees we still stayed on and upright.
We had a good run down the rest of the way through the valley, our competitors - the young guns - would catch us on the flat and we'd stay on through the rapids. Syd's was fun. The QEII just doesn't like to turn at the bottom, so it took all our effort to draw the beast around before running into the crowd. Big cheer (not sure if it was for us or the next double which had one paddler and one guy laying across the back of the ski).
Walyunga, and now the slog to Bell's. Over the main chute in the QEII is never easy and almost impossible to turn her and straighten up before the next run of rapids. Fortunately for us another double had run aground. We nosed it and got pushed the right way down the drop.Alhhhhhhhhhhh 30km of slog ahead. But luckify for us the young gun female double ski was waiting (maybe not) for us at the end of the Upper Swan ti-trees. We hung on, abusing each other all the way to Lilac Park whereupon the water in our QEII weighed more than us so we were pushing it up hill. We managed to hang on to another passing double ski, until the last hundred metres where we couldn't put the sprint in (hard, under water). Only problem when you wash hang you forget or refuse to stop and take drinks or anything from support crews !!
We finished and the helpers getting craft out of the water had the audacity to say "Your boat's too heavy, we can't lift it !" We'd paddled the bloody thing so they could lift it!So we left it and headed for the spa. When we got back we were told it had about 80 litres in it and it took 20 minutes to empty. (Funny, though, because it was coming out all over the car all the way home.)
We finally finished seventh, still don't know where we finished in our category. Hope the results are finalised soon. But we'll be back next year - minus the QEII. She will be repaired and then sold to some poor sod that doesn't know how much trouble paddling a double ski is down the Avon.
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