Message Source: Medulloblastoma Newsgroup - Message 13401

From:  Tim & Trish Telcik <telcik@iinet.net.au>
Date:  Sat May 19, 2001  7:57 am
Subject:  Re: [Medullo/PNET] Do your children know ... ?

Ecran Franky wrote:

>
> Do your children know . what cancer is ???
>
>
>
> Do they know they can die from it ?
>
> I don't know if Joël knows it, once in hospital he did say "I am sick but
still alive" we did not know how to react. Since his therapy ended in august we
know 4 children we met are died from different types of cancer. One of them is
same age as Joël and they played almost every day together in hospital. Just
last December we met here and she also was out of therapy and doing fine. Now
even before first scheduled check she died. I don't know if or how we should
tell him. I don't know if we should tell him or how we should tell he can
relapse.
>
>
>
> It is al so difficult.
>
>
>
> Franky, father of Joël, dx 04/00

It definitely depends on age I think. Aidan was diagnosed at 4 1/2 and
at the time didn't know what the word cancer meant. We kept it that way.
A little while later we told him about bad cells, in relation to having
radiotherapy. I think this was easier for all of us than an older chid
with a better understanding of death. Even so, Aidan now talks about
that initial time in hospital as "when you were very worried about me".
I think he has some idea about how close he came that week.

More recently, now 6, Aidan faced a possible relapse. When he was having
an LP I told him the doctor would put a needle in his back. He asked why
and I answered that he needed to see if there were any bad cells there.
After a bit of thinking he asked "What happens if there are?". I put on
my brave face and said we hoped there weren't but we just have to wait
and see. Then he said, "They'll go everywhere won't they".My brave face
was certainly tested then and so was his, he was very quiet that
afternoon.

In contrast, a few weeks later, I told Aidan that there was more bad
cells in his head and the doctor would do another operation. He thought
for a second and then asked to play football. I had been dreading this
conversation all week. I was more scared of the conversation than the
surgery but in the end it wasn't a problem. Thankfully, neither was the
surgery.

Several kids that we know from the hospital have died but I have only
talked about one of them. He was a baby who was a permanent resident of
the isolation room. Aidan only knew him from waving through the window
but it was fairly obvious when he died. The other kids Aidan didn't
really know. I think if one of his friends died I would tell him and
take him to the funeral.

Trish
 

--
Tim Telcik
telcik@iinet.net.au
members.iinet.net.au/~telcik