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Analysis: Rounds 6 to 8
Props

Guns
Who's got the biggest gun? I'm in no position to say, but both Lance and Rob have used some pretty nifty props.

Go on Son, do it!Rob is a gun man. He shoots all sorts of them and can even shoot two-handed in the nude. He's also done firearms training so he looks authentic with a gun.

Ya reckon he knows how to use it?Lance shoots guns too, but usually it's as a big boss bad guy, so all he needs is a pissy handgun because his bodyguards will be carrying the rocket launchers. Mind you, Lance has been in a few Westerns, and he has the gun-twirling thing down pat. I think I'll give them a point each.

 

 

LANCE
ROBERT
10
9

 

Motorbikes
Say, that's a nice bikeRob seems to be inextricably linked to motorbikes. Perhaps it's because he can actually ride a motorbike. Lance on a motorbike (Savage Dawn) however was just plain silly. Entertaining, but silly.

 

LANCE
ROBERT
10
10

Cigarettes
Both Lance and Robert were actually smokers. Lance quit a few years back, and Rob quit recently. This probably explains why in nearly every movie these two have ever made they always have a smoke dangling from their lips.

Go on Lance, drag *harder* !Godammit! I can't think of a captionLance looks good with cigarettes and I'm sure it's help him achieve his gravelly voice but I can't help but think Rob should win this round. He'll light up at the most inappropriate moments which has me yelling at the TV "what is he doing?! He should be running away from the bad dude with the big gun, not stopping for a durrie".

 

LANCE
ROBERT
10
11

 


End of Round 6: At the conclusion of "Props", Rob's edged ahead with 11 points.
Costume

Lance and Rob have a few common costume themes. Let's have a look at who pulls off each outfit the best...

Tight pants
Jeans are a favourite here, with Rob frequently seen in spray-on blue jeans, but pairing them with white sneakers is a no-no. Lance wore tight blue jeans in Savage Dawn and when he got off his motorbike he had dust all over his butt. Lance can also pull off tight leather pants exceptionally well.

LANCE
ROBERT
11
11

Hair dye
Holy crap! I think they noticed it's not my real hairLance is single handedly keeping Loreal, Clairol and Schwarzkopft in business. His haircolour changes so often I doubt we'll ever find out what colour it really is. Lance sported the bleach job in a few movies, and often goes for grey or brown.

Heh.. she doesn't think this is dyedRob on the other hand has pretty much kept it natural (I assume) but did bleach it a horrendous shade of yellow for Body Shot. Another round to Lance.

 

 

LANCE
ROBERT
12
11

Hair style
It get's tricky here because both actors have sported some shocking hair cuts. Hair so bouffant it needs it's own credits80's Rob favours the big boofy wave motion style. In the 90's he alternated between smooth and slicked back to long and shaggy.

The Man's hair. Does it get any better than this?Lance's hair style is generally pretty much the same from film to film - he goes more for colour changes. I think Rob deserves to win here.

 

 

LANCE
ROBERT
12
12

Miscellaneous garments
1. The Check Shirt.
'Hey baby. Like my sexy shirt?'Lance as Frank Black would often get about in check shirts. They looked fugly on him but it didn't matter because Frank wasn't meant to be sexy.

Ugh. Checks everywhere. Probably even on his underwear.Rob just had to take it one step further though and wear a check shirt with a check jacket AT THE SAME TIME in Fire In The Sky. He even made sure the checks didn't match! Bonus point to Rob for looking like a right tool.

 

LANCE
ROBERT
12
13

No garments
Behold! A full frontal, Lance styleLance rarely gets much clothing off, but when he does you just know it has to be crucial to the storyline right? WRONG! Lance wanders about in the nude (sorry, he left his boots on) in The Last Samurai for absolutely NO REASON - and you get a gratuitous butt shot! Lance is occasionally seen shirtless, usually from behind.

Wax on. Wax offRob on the other hand would appear to drop his dacks at every given opportunity. Frequent butt shots and lots of sitting around shirtless are his trademarks.

The question is though, do we really want to see either of them without clothes?! Personally, I thought Lance's butt was a hoot and all the more special because you will never see it again. I've seen too much of Robert already, but now that he is a big star on The X Files, we may not get to see much more in the future. Hmmm. I guess it's another draw. Lance gets a extra bonus point for the butt shot, and Rob gets a point for getting it off so much.

LANCE
ROBERT
13
14

Facial attachments.
'Someone help me pull this stray nose-hair!!!'I'm talking about beards to be precise. Lance has sported the hairy face in Survival Quest and The Quick and the Dead (seen to the left). Now it's obviously a fake one, but look how much Lance seems to be enjoying it!

'You talkin to my mo?'Robert on the other hand seems rather non-plussed about the things makeup artists stick on his face. In fact, I dare say most of the beard arrangements on Rob's face have been real. (but not this one to the right). Rob often has some kind of facial hair, be it a mo, goatee or just a three-day growth, in his films. Based on that alone, he's gonna get a point off me. But so is Lance, if only for the above picture.

LANCE
ROBERT
14
15

Stupid hats
JesusGodDamnUgh! I'm gonna kill that wardrobe assistant!Rob's obviously just seen his own reflection...Whilst doing a bit of "research" for this page I stumbled across another category that our men can compete in. Lance has sported several stupid hats (Powder, The Quick and the Dead) but Rob has one that is just as bad as any of Lance's (The Forgotten City).

Just in! This extremely stupid hat cements Lance as the winner in this catgeory. Way to go Lance!It's another tough call, but the size of Lance's brim wins it! And who said size doesn't matter?

 
LANCE
ROBERT
15
15


End of Round 7: At the conclusion of "Costume", it's tied up again on 15 points each.
The Oracle of Bacon

Perhaps the ultimate test, who has the lowest Bacon number?

Rob scores 2:
Robert Patrick was in Only Thrill, The (1997) with Diane Lane Diane Lane was in My Dog Skip (2000) with Kevin Bacon.

Lance scores 2:
Lance Henriksen was in Alien³ (1992) with Tom Woodruff Jr. Tom Woodruff Jr. was in Hollow Man (2000) with Kevin Bacon.

Interestingly, if you link Rob and Lance together you get ... 2!
Robert Patrick was in Eye See You (2001) with Dina Meyer Dina Meyer was in Unspeakable (2001) with Lance Henriksen.

LANCE
ROBERT
16
16


End of Round 8: At the conclusion of "The Oracle ", it's still a draw.
Penalties

Cut off the mullet and get yerself some contacts boy!A new category just introduced. Rob our first penalty point loser for appearing in The Cool Surface with an extra dorky haircut and matching glasses. -1 point.

 

 

 
LANCE
ROBERT
16
15

 

The Verdict

After some slight revision on the original stats, Lance has just scraped past Rob as the winner for August! Congrats Lance!

Both Lance and Robert are equally entertaining in their own ways... The number of similarities between them though is scary, and I really hope they get to do a film together, or at least have Frank Black appear in another X-Files episode.

 
month
LANCE
tally
ROBERT
tally
July
draw
1
draw
1
August
winner
2
runner-up
1

 

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