Lately I think that it has come to the attention of the readers that the Fruit Salad Tree is now a huge part of the AL:Underground and that he is in fact looked on as the real source of knowledge here at our office. I thought it would be nice if you were let in on a bit of the Tree’s past and his general personality, because unlike the regular staff he doesn’t uproot and let his leaves down at the forums much.
The Fruit Salad Tree is an entity composed of the standard biomass of plants but the significant difference in our dear friend is that he unlike the commercial tree produces a range of different fruits such as the banana, pear and the apple. This is due to the superior levels of sucrose in the tree’s natural stores, so he has to channel the extra disaccharides into more production of fruit. Now you may think this an unnecessary fact about the Tree but as it so happens our dear old Tree had to overcome a lot of bullying due to his unique ability. He was an outcast among the other saplings and soon grew to realize that to survive his primary growth period he’d have to develop his cambium enhanced wood at a faster rate than the other trees or he would be out-rooted in a second. This in simple English means he had to grow his bark thicker than other trees at a faster rate just to protect himself from the bullying nature of other saplings and to overcome the trauma of adolescence.
Now all grown up and in a mature state of mind he basks in the sunlight of our only window at the Underground office and continues to photosynthesise the only supply of oxygen in the office and sometimes even lets us nourish ourselves with his especially tasty ripe fruit. So to celebrate the greatness of the Fruit Salad Tree let us all commence to water him daily and bring him gifts of fertiliser.
The Story: Picture the scene. Two teenagers. A bottle of vodka and a few episodes of Love Hina. Only one thing could come from this - the Lova Hina drinking game! Play it with friends using any beverage you like. You could use Sprite, you could use whatever you want really. Just have fun!
Love Hina drinking game
One Sip when:
Two sips when:
Three sips when:
DISCLAIMER: If you choose you use alcohol to play this game, please drink responsibly. Don't drink and drive, and all that, and try not to drink if you're underage. However, if you do, it's not my fault just have fun!
TYPE 3: THE WAI WAI KAWAII CUTIE PIE
Description: These are the people (usually girls aged 12-19) who live to be cute, bouncy and have fun. They often use baby talk to make them sound about 7 years old, enjoy roleplay and love things that are sparkly, pretty and girly. They are very happy people and are always giggling and hugging other people regardless of whether they are Hitler or not.
Why are they cool: They are just so adorable!!! People like this bring out protective instincts in other members and make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Sure maybe they don't have much to say other than "heeheehee!!" and *huggles*, but who cares! THEY'S JUST SO COOL!!!!
Typical Post: OMG!! I can't believe you did that!!! LOL! XD XD XD ^__^ <3 <3 <3 *nuzzles and twitches nose* Mreow! I wuv you! *smiles* YAY!!!! *Giggles*!!!!!!
Typical Sig: -list of friends, fans, slaves, fans of friends of slaves and basically everyone else on AL- *picture of something pink and pretty with a love poem on it* -Zillions of fan icons, links to friends webpages and some cute little remark saying "I'm a kitty! Nyow!!"-
Typical Photo: Something cute and smiley. Make sure to tip your head to one side and have something childlike near you such as a pikachu or a flower. Making little winking faces and putting your head on your hands also shows how cute and adorable you are so make sure to pose like this whenever possible! WEAR PINK!
Current Mood: Hyper
Favourite Forum: Crazy League/City Scape
Tips for people wishing to become a Type 3:
Next Issue: TYPE 4: THE SLUT
The sheer amount of idiots that surrrounds me in these dark and rather strange days is indeed deeply disturbing. How can persons without the needed intelligence to spell and type ever become something out in the real and proper society.
Out in the real World, all your little Internet quirks can not be used for anything. The same applies the other way around of course.
It is important that we treat the idiots with no repsect whatsoever. They deserve nothing at all. In the case of ”playing idiotic to get attention” you should simply insult the offending pile of shit.
The lack of taste and avarage intelligence is a clear sign of the degenration of modern society. Our ancestors invented such amazing feats as the stram engine, the nuclear theories and the Aircrafts millions use everyday.
In the last decades no new things have really been introduced. Most of what we call ”Modern Inventions” are in reality just old things we have made better and more shiny.
I personally predict the colaps pf our currrent society within my own lifetime. The sheer stupidity of our time is disgusting and repulsive.
Even reading this very text is a foolish move in itself. Unless you plan to do something about it. YOU must do it, alone if you have too, go out and fight for the survival of mankind.
Surrender your old moralities and teachings. Stop beliving in what society and the Corporations tells you, it's all lies.
Within 50 years we will run out of most fossil fuels. And even nuclear power requires fuel. The lack of foresight of our generation is a disgrace. And must be taken care of, with force if it must come to that.
As most of you may have noticed, Free has added a new spam forum to rival Crazy League. Many have already labelled it 'The Devil' and won't go near it, yet it seems that the n00bs are being drawn to it by some sort of force. Is this doomsday for CL? Lady Tyrael denies it, Coding seems immune, Queen Washu had no comment, and Selphie's claiming 'I told you so' rights.
So what have the mods decided to do to make CL a more spiffy place? Well! Because some threads were just too good to loose, such that is Word Game, Legacy, and IM Convos (which is basically what Ramblings was opened for), they have been moved back to their original home of CL. Good job mods! Kill the opposing forum while it's young! Defeat the purpose and go in for the kill! I hear that the Glomping Army is still looking for work...
A prolific trend has permeated general discussion: the farce called "political debate". I love a decent political debate - laws are listed, morals are presented, facts are flaunted. However, the concept of political discourse on AnimeLeague, as a whole, is an inane and preposterous entity.
The primary wave (and the focal point of this article) of rampant mindlessness presented itself in the form of discussion about George W. Bush. I feel some hesitation in my wording because, when viewed objectively and with an eye for merit, the "discussion" is not much more than a mud-slinging debacle. There have been, by my estimation, at least a dozen threads discussing George W. Bush - there are many more discussing the general issues in which he has strayed or stayed steady. Figuring that each of these dozen threads garners forty to fifty replies, that's somewhere in the area of five hundred and forty replies. Again, by my estimation, there are ten valid messages in the bunch. It's an enormous strawman of deception and complete, shameless party line-parroting. The average reply belongs to one of two schools of thought: "liberal" and "conservative". There are, of course, subdivisions. I'd say that there are three main arguments for each school - they're congruent on both sides: the stupid wrong, the smart, deceptive wrong, and the accurate right.
The stupid wrong is nonsense - it's ostentatious and offensive. Its sheer monotony and ignorance is garish. It usually rambles on incessantly with no point in sight. It regurgitates the same tired points again and again with no evidence to validate nor thoughts to ponder. It generally consists of shouting loudly about if he can speak well, or if he cannot; after his level of verbal literacy has been established, judgements are debated from there. It's quite the sad event to experience. This applies to both sides - on the left, you have them screaming that "he can't say nuclear, he must be incapable of any degree of cogent thought!". They shout with vehemence, sincere in their belief that a man's linguistic capability is congruent to his ability to think. I still sometimes have to check myself about that one. On the right, you have them screaming "I'm an American, yeah, I'll support Bush! He must be the greatest man alive because he's president don't you know 9/11!!!!". This side is also ludicrous and moronic. A man's political office is obviously the precise equal of his competence.
The smart wrong is evil - it's deceitful, and it's devious. The tactic has been around forever - you use a honeyed tongue and distorted facts to lie and cheat the ignorant opposition. This method infuriates me far, far more than bandwagon idiocy; when this method is executed, it is done with conscious and vehement intent. Someone is trying to lie, to bend the truth, to make a large discrepancy in the fabric of reality. On the left, this includes giving inaccurate death count figures, emotionalist shouts about the sanctity of all life and deceptive economic figures. On the right, this includes, again, the distortion of economic figures, the allegation of infractions (where none exist) and an unbridled attack on safety in America where dissenters are called unpatriotic liabilities. These people, on both sides, lie, cheat, confuse and threaten people to validate their (ultimately void) point.
Then there is the accurate right - they are honest, they are dignified, they are competent.
However, my woeful conclusion is that they share yet another adjective - they are rare.
Shame, shame, shame on you, General Discussion.
x_x
How Queen Washu really celebrated the big day is relatively unknown. Who knows what sorts of evils become legal with the passing of ones seventeenth birthday in "great" Britain (besides British people and those familiar with British law)? It can safely be assumed that Washu indulged in all manner of rums, pills, and sexually deviant-but-now-perfectly-acceptable-in-the-eyes-of-the-law-because-you're-of-age behaviour as the day she turned the big one-seven went on into the night*.
Perhaps the most extraordinary happening of Washu’s 17th was something so simple as a birthday thread. In the event of ones birthday, a thread can be made in Crazy League announcing it to the world (forum). However, once the birthday is done and over with, the thread is to be promptly locked [Selphie’s Statute of Law and Order, Section Four, Paragraph Three]. As of this writing, Washu’s birthday thread is at seven pages and growing fast. Because she didn't want one Selphie Tilmitt to see that her birthday was over and lock the thread, Queen Washu did the unimaginable. In an uncanny act of never before witnessed brilliance, Washu edited the title of her birthday thread to read: "This is so NOT Washu's Birthday Thread from last week :S" so that her precious topic would be perpetual. If Queen Washu wants a never-ending birthday thread, then maybe she wants a never-ending birthday? Despite many cries from yours truly for the thread to be locked, Washus birthday wish is coming true.
Yes, life is one big birthday party filled with criminal debauchery for Queen Washu. Happy 17th, Beaky.
*Any and all references to Queen Washu participating in bad behaviour in this column are completely fabricated because we all know Washu is a good widdle girl and would never do drugs or drink or make love to barnyard animals**.
**That last bit may actually not be false.
TYPE 2: THE BITCH
Description: These guys and gals are people who make it their main priotiry to bully, make fun of and generally torment all other members of the board. They don't really care if they're liked or if they cause trouble... in fact they couldn't really care less if they got kicked off the board. They come online to have fun... and for them fun is being mean! Some are just plain trolls, others are nice guys with a wicked sense of humour,,, either way they're bitches and damn proud to be one!!
Why are they cool: Anyone can be nice, but it takes a real gem of a human being to be an out and out brutal cold-hearted bitch!! Only wimps consider other peoples feelings! Being nasty and taking the piss out of people is just so cool!!!
Typical Post: OMG!!111 UR LIK SO COOL WASU!!11 Well at least you would be if you weren't such a god damn spastic annoying pain in the back side. Get a brain already likOMg kthx
Typical Sig: *AIM quote showing them at their meanest* -Picture mocking someone or something- *Some kind of "I'm a bitch but does it look like I care?" statement*
Typical Photo: Full headshots flashing an "I'm way better looking than you" smirk
Current Mood: Sarcastic/ Pissed off
Favourite Forum: FOIT
Tips for people wishing to become a Type 2:
Next Issue: TYPE 3: THE WAI WAI KAWAII CUTIE PIE
Equality between man and woman
Anything related to Dragonball, be it any of the movies and series.
SUCKS.
If you are a Dragonball fan, then do not leave a comment, I wouldn't give a fuck anyway, so why waste your time yelling at me.
And for the record, I have seen a Dragonball episode, and I have tried to read a Dragonball Mange, so I know what I'm talking about
As many of you may know, a couple of weeks ago, there was a seemingly harmless craze/fad going on in which several male members of AL decided to make their own Fangirl/person thread in CL.
Two members, Black Mage and Coding, decided that they, too, would start their own fangirl/fanperson threads. And by golly did it work. It must have if even I signed up. Each of them also made a list of promises to appeal to their targets. Some were similar to what Free had made and some not really.
Now, a couple of weeks later, the fad seems to have died down. Of course, with an egotistical head admin like Free, who knows when the trend will start again? Only time will tell.
So you’ve been wondering what the new black bold shadowed people are? Well I am here to try and tell you as best as I can!
Now we at the AL Underground like to consider ourselves with the times so when this new factor was added into the mix, straight away we had to know what it was, and how it worked. By delving into the chat’s, LiveJournal’s and mass convo’s we have come up with the Big Three Badass Laws of Survival©™
First never question the badassery, and follow the ways devoutly, lapsing into the normal ways can ruin any chances you may have had at the badass clan. We know not for certain but there may have been a disavowment when a badass member that went good… hence living the rest of his/her days condemned to the CityScape slums for the rest of eternity. We offer our condolences to the Badass Clan, losing a unique gem to the commercial industry of society, takes time and effort to get passed (but sources inform us that the Badass Clan have overcome all if any guilt and now consider the turncoat a traitor, such is the Badass Way).
Secondly never divulge any information on how to become a Badass, it is not achieved by trying to become it, you are either born with it or not. I recently spoke with Mewski one of the Badass elite and found she had easily abided by this law when ChibiDemonKitty had in fact tried to contact her to find out how to become Badass, Mewski laughs at the naivety and general desperation of CDK to become Badass. I also find this funny, but understand that through the masses of AL some won’t understand why you cannot try and get it through coercion and bribery, so further explanation will be given. Basically to get into the Badass you have to do it with your own Badass abilities, by contacting an inside source and cheating your way in is decidedly Un-Badass and makes you look terribly desperate thus squelching any Badass appeal you MAY have had.
Finally follow the Holy Scripture and make sure it is well known in the Badass community, here I will quote a short passage to enlighten you all to the Badass literature.
The easy way of the Badass is not the True way. To be a true Walker of the Path, you must challenge yourself in your feats of Badassary. If an opponent puts himself down, then allow him to admit defeat and move on to a more worthy opponent. If he does whinge, then do ignore him. He will never walk the Path.
The True Path lies not in the grass, but in the brambles.
So you are now left with an understanding of the superiority involved in becoming Badass, and I personally hope people learn from the mistakes of others or at least become too frightened to try out for the Badass clan.
Hello, everyone! Before kicking off my first column, let me introduce myself. I’m Hikaru, seen mostly around EZ, CL, ALJ and RR, and sometimes GD too.
Now, the topic for this month is gender-bending. What is gender-bending, you ask? It’s simple enough: it’s pretending to be the opposite gender, either by acting as them, dressing up as them, or anything else of the sort. Gender-bending isn’t too uncommon in anime. In fact, I’d say one out of three anime (not a real fact….but it might be) have some character that dresses up as the opposite sex, to say the least. Prime examples include Revolutionary Girl Utena, Kill me Kiss me, Sailor Moon and Hana Kimi.
So, how does this affect AnimeLeague? As many active members have seen, there are members who like to pretend they are the opposite sex. Other members simply come off as the opposite sex, even if they’re not trying to be. And still others are trying desperately to convince others that they are this gender, even if they are that gender.
Let’s start off with “Lady” Tyrael. Now, most seasoned members already know not to be fooled by the “Lady” thing and think that this is a girl we’re talking about here. However, many n00bs seem to confuse Ty’s gender and assume that he’s a girl. And most long-time members go out of their way to play along with it, to add to the confusion. It helps that Ty has a hot girl in his av and sig.
Next up is everyone’s favourite whatever, 2D. Now, 2D is, in fact, a guy, so don’t believe what he tells you. However, he is a guy that wants to be a girl, so much so that he attempts to make themost girlish sigs and avs possible. His most girly attempts were possibly when: first, he decided to be Kaorin and make lesbian love to another gender-bending member; and second, he decided to be Umi, asking rhetorical questions in the Questions and Answers thread in CL with me and Fuu. Not to mention that I’ve joined him and his gender-defying adventures.
And lastly but not leastly, there’s the legend that is Coding/Lulu (The original and the best mind you – Dept Ed). Is it a guy who likes to sex and hump everything? Is it a girl who likes to sex and hump everything with D (DD?) breasts? And yes, this would be the person involved in the lesbian affair with Kaorin. So, what is Coding/Lulu? The world may never know.
That concludes my column this month. Next month: I have no idea, I haven’t even thought of it. ‘Till then, folks, ta-ta!
…Oh, never mind, there they are.
What has caused this inverse mass exodus? As usual, AnimeLeague’s owner, Freesaiyan, is the mastermind behind the scheme. For once, however, it’s not an evil scheme (merely chaotic neutral). So, if not driven by purely evil intentions, what could possibly have made Free hatch such a plan? As you may have noticed, AL has been in somewhat of a slump activity-wise for a while now, i.e. when Momentum moved to its own board. As everyone knows, a good proprietor is nothing without the customers, so Freesaiyan, along with a little help from his friends, instant messaged a ton of members who left AnimeLeague a long time ago, prodding them to return. Thus, the phenomenon began.
However, not a whole lot of the old members are actually staying on AL. As evidenced by research conducted from late 2003 to spring 2004 on part of The Underground’s crack team of statisticians, an interesting connection can be made between the “returning” members in question and newbies. Figures A and B correlate the shocking similarity in the number of returning members who stay and the number of newbies who stay. Is it a coincidence or is it really some sort of unfathomably evil plot on Frees part? In any case, AnimeLeague’s activity has indeed been increasing (we know this because Free himself said so in a thread in Crazy League, backing it up with documented scientific evidence), and that’s always a good thing, even if it is only by a little bit.
An 8 part guide to becoming one of the 8 types of cool people, lovingly made by the (self professed – Dept Ed) personification of cool, Queen Washu.
As we all know, Anime League is a huge place where you have to get noticed if you want to survive. And the way to get noticed is as follows: BE COOL.
But wait a second! I hear you cry I don't have a cool bone in my body! How am I ever meant to get popular?
Well don't panic! That is where I'm here to help. Becoming popular is EASY!!! Through extensive 5-minute research I have discovered that there are 8 ways of becoming cool at AL! All you have to do is choose a type that sounds most like you and follow this guide religiously.... and HEY PRESTO! You'll have tons of friends flocking over you in no time!!
Now without further ado, let's take a look at the first of 8 ways to become popular! (At this point I advise all nerds and loners to jot down notes)
THE 8 TYPES OF COOL PEOPLE
TYPE 1: THE INTELLECTUAL
Description: These are the people who are far too intelligent to be posting at AL but they do anyway just so they can show off how smart they are. They don't really have any emotions other than droll, cynical and/or irritated and they are not allowed to have any kind of "fun". Instead they prefer to argue over the same debates again and again and again!
Why are they cool: Everyone knows that having no emotion is SO COOL! It shows how mature and sultry you are! Also when you're really clever it means that you are so much better than everyone else! FOOLS R UNCOOL! Smart is totally IN!!!
Typical Post: Today's topic will be the discussion of the repurcussions of the feasibility of the economic state of the ergonmically challened idyiosyncraticies of today's homosexual youth. Thoughts?
Typical Sig: *some quote from some famous intelligent theorist who no one's ever heard of before* - Some political/topical humour pic that no one actually gets - *Proof that God does/does not exist (delete as applicable according to religious beliefs)*
Typical Photo: It has to be posey enough that you look all deep and intense but not so posey it looks like you care what you look like. Don't dress up too much, make it look like you weren't bothered, and always give some moody face and say that was your best smile. This shows how deep and therefore mature you are. Glasses are also always great for the intellectual types - make sure you keep them on at all times and if you don't wear glasses, just steal someone elses when they're not looking.
Current Mood: Unphased
Favourite Forum: General Discussion
Tips for people wishing to become a Type 1:
Next Issue: TYPE 2: THE BITCH
Link: New World 2046 Forum
I really fucking hate writing for this newspaper shit. I mean, Selphie comes running into my face saying "you are like a part of the Underground yo". And I was like "okay". And now I have DEADLINES and shit to bother with. I resent it all.
I bet they won’t accept this whole article. "Because it has nothing to do with Al" Hey guess what? I hate AL with a passion. For me there are three good things with the forum: New World 2046, FoIT and the badass clan. And that is because I can avoid all the retarded asshats from Crazy League and Cityscape.
You know what? I'll just use the rest of this article to talk about New World 2056. Which by the way is the single most successful RPG the entire forum have ever had.
Why don't you readers join it? There is still plenty of land left. The turn system is easy. The Players are friendly. And I have thousands of new things just running around inside my twisted little mind.
The world have in total 16 nations and a several other Organizations. The worlds major hotspots have been the following: Georgia, where a dispute between the NUSPR and the Kazakhi Hegemony almost resulted in a full scale war. The second area has been the India-Pakistani Area. International intervention was made when both the WAC and the Hegemony wanted the area, the resulting negotiations to several real time days to complete. And the result was a divided India. The former Pakistani Areas was turned over to Hegemony administration. And the Eastern most parts of India was granted to the WAC. The UN got Ceylon as an Observation Outpost and the NUSPR got a small harbour city.
And I have several plans. I plan to make the wars sort of mini-RPGs within the RPG itself. Where the winner or winners are decided by who makes the best RPG. All the players can join in as normal RPG players on either side. It'll rock. I'm planing to test it on the current Hondane Civil war. Their leader was killed by Icelandic separatists.
I'll see you people in the forum. Don't be afraid. I am really helpful.
It was a day like no other. You would say that the weather was fair, and the skies were clear. On this day, something unusual had stirred. It was Free, and he had assigned a moderator. This moderator not only became one, but she was a GM. In the events of her becoming a GM, DPZ KimPossible, currently known as Laken X, had created an astounding event which many Aler’s just couldn’t get enough of.
As clans had instantaneously been created and their members growing in sufficient numbers Laken then decided it was time for a Clan War. This war would determine who the top dogs are, and who they small fries were. With the beginning of this war, there seemed to just have been a few clans.
The clan Knights of Twilight, had set up a buffet for all clans, but as they were getting ready to regroup and mobilize, they were unexpectedly shot down. Having few casualties and having to retreat from the war, it was then after that Clan Evilution had finally joined in on the war. There was a new clan, which many had not heard of here in AL. These n00bs had shown others they were not people to mess with, and they had backed it up as well. This clan was called Clan Yggdrasil, a band of technological pirates. As a few stray clans joined and left, a few clan members also joined in, representing their clans in but small numbers one would say.
The war is still underway, and is yet to come to a finally, and as it is still in progression, I have managed a way to get a couple interviews from a couple of the fighters themselves. There is not an interview for all clan member representatives since this was a dangerous spot to put myself in. But overall, we’ve got some good feed back and I hope you enjoy it. All of the interviews below were made over AOL Instant Messenger.
This first interview was by Coding of Clan Evilution:
StormFox: Hello Coding. I'd like to first off start with a few questions about yourself.
That was the end of Coding’s Interview, with his done, I’ll be posting up the same interviews for 2 others. The next will be of Killiak, Currently not representing a clan but soon to make one. I hear it will be pretty good, so we’ll have to wait and see.
(StormFoxWraith: Emperor StormFox, TwilightHavoc: Killiak)
StormFoxWraith: Welcome Killiak. I'd like to first start off with this interview by asking a bit about yourself. You seem to be new to AL. Please share some information on us about yourself.
As for our last interview, this one was with a member of the Yggdrasil Clan. He goes by the name Redoukeiii. He has been mentioned in the above conversation(s).
(StormFoxWraith: Emperor StormFox, TsukasaFreak: Redoukeiii)
StormFoxWraith: Welcome Redoukeiii, I'd like to first start off this interview by asking a few questions about yourself and your Role-playing experience.
Well basically that’s about it. This concludes this Article on the War of Definition, and AL’s Clan Nation. I hope you have much to learn about this war and the clans, and hopefully you may be interested in joining. Thank you for your time in reading and have a pleasant day. This is your newest reporter, reporting in. StormFox over and out.
Ok, you’re probably aware that changes are happening with this paper and the way it’s run but you may not know what exactly we have in store for it.
Soon after this issue is posted, a special forum will be created in the ‘Restricted Access’ sub-forum where the next issue of the AL Underground can be prepared away from the general public. This way most of AL will read the entire issue for the first time when it is announced, instead of just reading bits and pieces as they are posted and edited. The paper is much less interesting if everyone has read/seen the contents already.
The forum will be modded by Selphie and myself and will require people to sign up to be granted access. At first most people who expressing interest will be granted access but only those that are actually keen to participate and contribute will keep stay. Basically we don’t want a lot of flagwavers who just want another group to add to their profile or to just to see what’s going on for the hell of it.
There we can throw ideas around and assemble each issue before presenting it to the rest of AL. Contributors will have pretty much free reign to report on whatever they want but sometimes special events like clan comps and awards will need to be reported on.
Issues may be released fortnightly or perhaps just a larger monthly edition. All this will be worked out once the new forum is created and discussion begins. Things like updating the layout and new sub-sections will also be put forward. All in all it should be a very exciting future for our little paper.
Disclaimer: Please note that this article was not a pathetic FreeSaiyan attempt to get back at Tyrael for beating him in the Beauty Contest and comprehensively bringing the Underground out late, month upon month. Indeed, I don't consider ANY of my atte- er his attempts pathetic! (Jealousy is a horible thing ^_^ - Ed)
This column submitted by Strawberry Gashes
(Miss Gashes is known to have a rant every now and then and since this is aint no dictatorship propaganda paper (no really it aint!) she's free to do just that. However all opinions expressed by Miss Gashes are hers and hers alone. They do not represent the opinions of this editor or this paper as a whole. - Ed)
Rant-ness
I am constantly complaining about something, but I’ve decided that I need to go public with my rants.
This column submitted by Blah
AL Beauty Contest
Reported from the event: Blahs house
At the end of one week of hectic voting, where approximately 50 people gave their opinions on who the sexiest person on anime league was, the votes were tallied and the winners announced. Tyrael and Lady summoner Ashriel came out victorious. The crowds slowly died away after many envious looks from the other contestants, but what’s the story behind the contest?
Over all the girls were much more even then the guys, with over half the massive field polling over 10 votes. Until the end of the comp Free barely polled again as Tyrael reeled him in and passed him in the last vote of the comp (BAM! - Ed). Blah passed both Growler and Fugazidave who, like Free, barely polled again after passing 20 votes. The girls jockeyed for position as they came home, AnimeQueen died at 32 points and Ash made up the difference to pip her at the post, but the irony of the comp was Aije who came in third by 3 points after her fans supported her in the thread but forgot to vote and cost her the title.
This column submitted by KT (Aka Washu’s sidekick, cos she's never gonna escape that name! - Ed)
In the Shadow of Washu
The Story of a Sidekick
I always knew that Washu would be a hard act to follow – she seemed to know pretty much EVERYONE on the boards, having about 200 contacts on her AIM buddy list (to give you a comparison I have less than 10 LOL – but feel free to add me in if ya want – sorry couldn’t resist heehee) and had introduced herself and established herself as Queen Washu of CL. Luckily, when I arrived everyone was really nice (not that your not all nice anyway), presumably at least partly cos they are friends (and probably relatives or window cleaners) of Washu.
Cos I only have 15mins a day online (bloody parents) it took a LONG time to get established on the boards (I doubt whether many ppl know who I am even now, after being on AL for about 6 months – after all the only vote I got in the awards was from the Washu herself for ‘Most Cynical’ for some unknown reason ^^). Washu still reckons I’m mainly known as Washu’s sidekick/best friend IRL and don’t really have my own identity (feel free to contradict…), although I have to say I was quite chuffed when someone nominated me for Queen of AL (even if it was only to see a catfight between the two of us), although nothing else has happened about that.
I know how much you all love Washu, mod of CL – all her crazy threads, sound files and not forgetting… pics!!! So I know I’ll always have her reputation to live up to – which is a pretty big one, seeing as its common knowledge that she is planning world domination with someone and she always seems to be doing fanfics or writing songs of some sort!
And who could forget the one thing that no one else knows about her…her personality IRL!!! Well seeing as how I’ve been her best friend for about 10 yrs, she can’t be THAT bad lol – its not that I feel sorry for her (even if she is clingy ((pats washu – Ed)) but she’s just as hyper and crazy and random and that’s what I luv about her – she seems happy so much of the time, which I’m sure comes across to everyone (except when she’s ill and all she wants is sympathy)
*Washu has forbidden me to spill any of her big, dark secrets in this article, and her puppy dog eyes and her threatening voice are a lethal mix of her getting her own way (strangely enough, she never seems to get in as much trouble as everyone else…)*
Btw, sorry if this sounds really serious – it’s not meant to be! So it was pretty much praising Washu cos she’s such a great person (IRL life too!) but from her sidekick’s point of view. I’m pretty used to being called that now – even in Wombat Combat I was her sidekick when it was supposed to be a whole clan thing!. As long as I’m known for SOMETHING as long as it’s not bad I don’t care! I suppose it’s my whole ‘I never get recognition’ that most ppl would remember, but I haven’t done that for a while – I’ve been good!
Picture this scenario. You are put in a situation where you have the opportunity to write something great. To show off all the skills you possess. To create a piece of text that will make anyone and everyone cry with joy at the sheer awesome-ness of your talent. But there’s a problem. You have absolutely no flirking idea what to write about.
This my friends is called the ever horrifying WRITERS BLOCK. *dramatic chord*
Try to imagine if you will, a brain with many wonderful thoughts floating within…like fairies. The WRITERS BLOCK *dramatic chord* can be represented by an evil knife-wielding gopher in this scenario.
Fairy – Ooh I have the best idea
Yes…not a pretty thought is it?
This is why talented writers such as you and I try our hardest from keeping these evil gophers away from our fairies. Unfortunately, there are times when these gophers just cannot be blocked. This is known as
THE PERIOD OF CRAP WRITING caused by WRITERS BLOCK *dramatic chord*
This “Period of Crap” can completely transform what we would normally consider as Good Writers to Oh-Please-God-Make-it-Stop-Die-Die-DIE Writers.
Transformations as severe as this usually occur when the knife wielding Gopher in question is much bigger and fatter than your average run-of-the-mill knife wielding gopher thus being able to crush more fairies than “the norm”.
HOW TO TELL IF THE PERSON IN QUESTION HAS SUFFERED THIS TRANSFOMATION:
If you read Page one of the said text and find it goes:
Suzie gently parted her shimmering golden fringe to see none other than her beloved Danny running towards her, arms open to embrace and hold her close.
You then go to Page 2 and find it goes:
Denny ran and hugged Suzzette and then she said lets go do stuff and he was like OK Sunni and then yeah they did THE END
*shakes head*
The horror…The pure pure horror that these EVIL gophers can cause.
But how I hear you ask can we stop these demonic rodents from claiming any more victims?
The answer to this my friends is to keep those fairies of yours STIMULATED. That way when the gophers try to stab them they’ll be able to fight right back!
But how on earth do you keep a hypothetical fairy stimulated? Well the first piece of advice I can give is read. Books, magazines, Ingredient lists for imitation-brand spaghetti hoops. Anything you can get your filthy little paws on. That way when the gopher starts to sneak up on your fairy….WHAM! It can whack it over the head with any information leeched from someone else’s plot. Now I am not saying plagiarise anyone in any way, because stealing is wrong….And being sued is much scarier than being knifed by an evil gopher. But taking little pieces of inspiration from other peoples work and making them your own…THAT is a great thing to do! Yeah baby yeah!
The second thing I can advise is don’t push yourself to think of something. Wait for the idea to come to you, don’t chase it. Those fairies are evil buggers. When they’re not being killed by the gophers they’re flying around your head and hiding in places you never knew existed. They’ll come out in their own time – you just have to be patient.
The third and final piece of advice I have to give is this. If you can’t write, don’t bother. Not everyone can be attacked by WRITERS BLOCK *dramatic chord* Because they simply have no writing worthy of blocking. For example:
Evil knife-wielding Gopher – MWUAHAHA!! FAIRY YOU’LL NEVER REALISE YOUR IDEA! I shall kill youuuu!!!!
So there we have it! The evils of evil knife-wielding gophers and dumb fairies! I hope by reading this you have gained some knowledge about the deadly disease WRITERS BLOCK *dramat…yeah you get the point already* I hope that envisioning this grave topic in this way has made you more comfortable with the terrible term and helped you to better understand why you suck. Thankyou for listening.
*throws an Evil knife-wielding Gopher at you and watches you die* (Uh Washu, killing readers is not good m'kay-Ed)
^_^
Mistress FayeFaye's Psychic Predictions Of Devine Impersonation
Okay, I'm starting off with Veghettos
Personality:
My Advice:
Veghettos said:
This Column Submitted by DSW
AL Con in the UK
SATURDAY
Got into Coventry about 2:30… Moments after DT. Got hugged by Jen and was frightened by all the people I didn’t recognise. DT and me got separated into the "go book a room" party while everyone else went into town. Me, Dt, Jen, Shinji and VW went cruising in Eva 02 (until I got a good look at VW I thought it was Asuka and my blood ran cold). We went down hundreds of back roads (I was convinced we were lost) but we had awesome music on so it didn’t bug me ^_^. We got to the room, considered signing in under the name "trogdor" but decided against it. After resisting declaring our nationality as strongbadian, we got a taxi down to Megazone.
We got to Megazone, and played the arcades ( I was still kinda frightened) but I spotted Arcadian and Azrael and hung around with them. We played arcades and then Jen declared we were going into Quasar. I got counted in and we went in to play. We got briefed about "enerjoisers" while me and Dt tried to resist bursting out laughing at the guy’s terrible accent. I followed a tall guy with short black hair and an Irish accent and it was right at the end of the game when it finally clicked in my brain.... ive been shadowing SHADOW! After that was cleared up we went to get the scores.... I got top score for the reds naturally ^_^ and we went to the bar!
I had one Smirnoff then went to play dance mats with Felix. I whipped his butt quite badly, but I got worse as I went on, by the time a crowd had built up I was achieving 160 combos anymore >_< but it was still fun. Me, DT and Miknal tried the test of strength. I had a go just a single, punched it and got about 80. I put a pound in for 3 goes and jump kicked it, getting about 230. I tried a roundhouse kick and completely messed up, getting about 30. I was gearing up for my last go when DT yelled, "wait!" and ran and head butted it, getting 30 too. We then played bowling. DT and Felix were heckling me in this really annoying voice and I did absolutely crap. Bowling is a silly game anyway :p we realised we hadn’t rang KT and Washu and panicked, calling her but getting no response. We were kind of annoyed we had forgotten.
Jen was drunk at that point but she, Free and his buddies decided to go sort the hotel for the party. Me, Arcadian, Azrael and Shadow went to Woolworths across the road, I got a pic of DT "cosplaying" as buzz lightyear before my camera died. Apparently woolies don’t sell lithium batteries so after much cursing of how Woolworths go about their business, we left.
We got back to the house and we set up party central in room 16. but first we had some zelda to play! Me, Arcadian, shadow and Felix teamed up and finished it, when DT complained he was hungry. Feeling the same way, Shinji and me went to look for grub. We got to a BP petrol station where DT stocked up on snacks while I got a disposable camera for truth or dare...
Truth or dare started when Jen got into room 16. The bottle didn’t pick me often but I only opted for Dares, feeling rather brave that night after my seven Smirnoffs (counting the one at megabowl). My dares included:
1) Stand in the bath (which was full of water and beer bottles) while the shower was going for five minutes
I cant remember if I had done a truth, I may have... most of the other dares involved something mean to the poor sleeping Free such as barbecue dip and shaving foam being poured on him. He gave in and came in to join in. the truths were the usual "which two anime characters would you have a threesome with" and "who in the room would you fuck expect Jen" kind of stuff. The other dares basically left Felix very wet and Jen in her underwear. I got yelled at by this old guy twice because we were making too much noise...a fact that only Azrael remembered. Him and me wrote "asuka suxx" on a bag and both drew a chibi Asuka then took a pic of it.
Miknal left and we put Trigun on for a while then put Lilo and Stitch on. I drifted to sleep a bit before the end and when I woke up only Joe cage was still standing. I dragged myself to my room, got changed in the dark and fell to sleep.
SUNDAY
Woke up around 10ish, not feeling tired at all and noticed DT's bed was empty. As I went to go to the bathroom, he leapt up, yelling "RRAAAAGH" and scaring the crap outta me. I went to each room, finding everyone else awake. We basically dosed for about an hour until we realised the cleaners were coming...our copious amounts of alcohol and the shaving foam on the walls were very suspicious so it was panic stations as Free, me and shadow cleaned up. Luckily they didn’t come in.
We had to leave by 12 so we gathered up our crap and did so.
We got to a bus stop and we tried KT again...no response. I texted her and we rang fayefaye when we were on the bus, me, Jen, Felix and Azrael yelling "FAYEFAYEEEEE" down the phone at the top of our voices. After a really long bus journey (on which we discussed life, love and final fantasy) we got off the bus. Felix was very nearly sick. We got forbidden planet only to find it boarded up and demolished. Jen and me went paddling in this fountain type thing that I’m sure was illegal and Free got soaked by Felix. We basically went around the decent shops buying stuff. We found Arcadian, Shinji and VW in Virgin and we were playing Dead or Alive Volleyball (a fact which pleased and aroused us all, including Jen) we went into some more shops and then Free and Jen left, they had very little time to get back for the train. We went around a bit more and I got a new lithium battery for my camera so I used up the film. We got to MVC where Arcadian spent £122 on anime DVDs...we were in awe. We had to seperate for a final time, shadow going with arcadian, shinji and VW but not before some group photos! Handshakes and hugs all round then we went our separate ways, determined to get Felix and Azreal to their train despite not actually knowing where the station was. Funnily enough, it turned out me and DT's train was two minutes after Az and Felixs so we went to get on and whom should we bump into but Free and Jen! Our train came and after a few more handshakes, we were on our way home and when we got home, I started writing this report which I have now finished ^_^ (that’s very nice work DSW… you get a sticker and a canteen voucher - Ed)
Following a recent “plushie craze” that swept through AL like wild fire, a new line of AL action figures are scheduled for release later this month. The little known company working out of a ex-Nike sweatshop in Asia stated at a press meeting earlier this week that, “The market is just waiting for the next big thing. I foresee the range of AL figures to be the next Tamagotchi or Pokemon.”
We here at AL Underground were ecstatic to find a pre-release copy of the “FreeSaiyan Inaction Figure” on our doorstep yesterday. The lil’ tyke comes with his own PC and, according to the box, “Lifelike Sleep Deprivation” and “Server Crash / Panic Attack” actions. It is rumoured that a future release “Growler” figure will feature a “Terminate Server” action that actually interacts with the FreeSaiyan model, which then automatically goes into an adorable “Panic Attack”
We are very excited about this release, it should revolutionise the way we waste our time when not online. This reporter has only one last question…
Will FreeSaiyan’s ego be “sold separately”?
This column submitted by Armisael
Sponsored by Victoria Bitter
For all those out there that have not tried a beer before, especially Australian beer, should most likely benefit from this.
Imagine yourself walking into a bar (Now I am talking to those or a legal age but shhhhhh, I’m also talking to those little illegal people that like to sneak in) and wonder what type of beer to choose. Look for the little green can with the fantastic “VB” printed of it. Now “VB” stands for Victorian Bitter, one of the best-made beers in the world. You may think that I am taking it very far by saying that, but my good people. I only speak the truth here.
VB has made many a lonely Australian feel warm and loved. Made a group of people feel that the world in their oyster. Of course mass consumption can also make you think you are the most attractive person in the world, while chatting up an attractive person of the same/opposite sex. While in reality you are half dressed (Due to the heat in the room) and actually hitting on a hand dryer.
Now here are a couple of tips you might want to use for handling and drinking beer.
2) Watch the barman. For if he pours the beer with too big a “head”. Then tell him to take it back and do it properly.
3) While drinking the beer. Try not to actually drink the “head”. Put your bottom lip on the inner rim of the glass and let the golden liquid slip into your mouth.
4) After a couple of pots. Try a pint or two. About this time you should be feeling a buzz. Now it is up to you weather you wish to take you experience or beer further. But that’s for another time and place.
I hope you all enjoyed this lesson and tomorrow I’ll tell you about how to take shots followed by a beer.
Hail be thy Fruit Salad Tree
Column
Submitted by ChibChib
Love Hina drinking game
Column
Submitted by Faerie Fortune
- Keitaro gets punched
- Keitaro gets insulted
- Keitaro gets accused of being a pervert
- Kitsune is drunk
- Motoko gets her sword out
- Shinobu is cooking
- Mutsumi falls down/faints
- Kaolla Su hurts someone
- Sara tries to make trouble
- Naru is scantilly clad
- Kentaro talks himself up
- Someone hits on Haruka
- Keitaro gets kicked
- Shinobu takes something the wrong way
- You see any of the girls wearing nothing but a towel
- You see Motoko's ass
- You see a girl on girl kiss
How to become "cool" in AL (Pt 3 of 8)
Column
Submitted by Queen Washu
~ Use plently of smileys and exclamations OMG! ^__^ XD O_O <3!!!
~ *She likes to write in the third person*
~ *GIGGLE*
~ Always be in a constant state of excitement
Idiots are Everywhere!
Column
Submitted by RagnarokZ
Ramblings = Evil?
Column
Submitted by Selphie
The imminence of inanity
Column
Submitted by Organic Power
Happy Birthday to 'Shu
Column
Submitted by 2D
How to become "cool" in AL (Pt 2 of 8)
Column
Submitted by Queen Washu
~ Grow thick skin
~ Learn how to insult like a pro
~ Only have one or two people online that you actually like/tolerate
~ Don't be frightened by the threat of being banned
RagnarokZ's Thoughts
Column
Submitted by RagnarokZ
I've always wondered. Why is it that women are the "weak" sex?
As far as I can see they are about sixteen-thousand times stronger than any male I have meet. They can take more pain than men. They work harder. They are more organized.
Hell. I've heard that women are better students too. More concentrated.
Why is it that men are better than women?. It doesn't make any sense at all.
Eqaulity for all. No matter the sex.
Why RPGs SUCKS!!!!
Well....I had this discussion in the AL chat earlier, but Jace destroyed it.
I was basically talking about why RPGs are BAD, you wanna know why? Then read on, if not, then go away.
RPGing is just a way for sad people to hide themselves, to act up something that looks better than themselves. Quite pathetic.
People, you MUST life your lives, not drown them in a cheesy dream world, NEVER. There is a line between fantasy and reality. AND IT'S ONE HELL OF A BIG ONE.
Fuck people who keep RPG in chat rooms, fuck those in Momentum who takes everything so DEAD serious, fuck all RPGing for sucking out the life of sad people.
RagnarokZ great Teachings about life:
1. Live your life, always and forever.
2: There is ONLY one goal in life, happiness, what is happiness? Well, what do you think it is? There is your answer.
3: NEVER hide your life behind a shell, if you ain't happy with your life, THEN CHANGE IT:
4: Love is happiness, even if it's a sad ass romance, it still have happiness.
5: Don't take RPGing to serious.
6: Take life serious, enough.
Rant about Dragonball.
Anyone who likes it, SUCKS. Anyone who reads the manga for the "plot" and the "awesome action" should be shot.
Anyone who uses a Nick name who have ANYthing to do with Dragonball should be taken deep into the woods and have their eyes burned out.
AL Fangirls: Harmless…or something more?
Column
Submitted by Hikaru
How did this craze start? Well, how else, when Free decided to go and make a “Free’s Fangirls Take 2” thread. In it, he promised various things to lure helpless girls in, including no-strings-attached sex, and occasionally talking to the girl on AIM. Now, Free had already built a considerable amount of fangirls in his first thread, but apparently this time around, it was significant enough to spawn more threads of this sort.
Badass – they aren’t renowned for their coffee anymore ;_;
Column
Submitted by Chib Chib
There seems to be a new clan about and they’re causing waves throughout the AL community everyone wants in yet no one knows how (this is where all of those who wished to gain some sort of secret formula to become badass will be disappointed). So I’m here to give you the inside scoop… or what information I have scraped together about these fast rising select elite members.
It all came about when a certain member wanted a new clan and decided to recruit those who were recognised as “badass”. This turned out to be the rising star of ALchat and boards RanmaGuy, with his suave and completely uncliche greetings of “Hey Baby” has made himself the clan only legends are made of.
Gender-bending, as only AL can
Column
Submitted by Hikaru
Where have all the ALers gone?
Column
Submitted by 2D
If you’ve noticed a hint of muskiness and the smell of mothballs in one of your recent trips to the Welcomes and Goodbyes forum, don’t worry, it’s not all those senior citizens on the internet you hear about. Rather, AnimeLeague has experienced a resurgence of returning members in the past few weeks. Everyone from ALers who haven’t shown up in several weeks to ALers who haven’t showed their avatar since the site’s inception has been making “Remember me?” threads starting in the merry merry month of May and into June.
How to become "cool" in AL (Pt 1 of 8)
Column
Submitted by Queen Washu
~ Learn to spell
~ Watch the News
~ Learn to have an attention span longer than 5 minutes
~ Only ever show emotion while debating - especially over Gay Marriage, the Bible or Online Relationships
'I Hate the Underground' or 'New World 2046'
Column
Submitted by RagnarokZ
Let's take a look at the world map first.
Behind AL’s Clan Nation, and The Clan War of Redemption.
Column
Submitted by Emperor StormFox
Coding: Ok then
StormFox: Tell me a bit about yourself, as a Role-player. How long do you think you have been role-playing?
Coding: I've been role-playing for nearly 4-5 years, the Character Coding being borne on Battle.net and beginning his life of warmongering and evil things. Coding wasn't always evil though, he used to be good but along the way something happened to him that made him evil, it was only a matter of time before he came to AL. At first he was good but that was just a guise
StormFox: What made you decide into making you character 'Coding' turn evil? Was it just something you would have fun with?
Coding: Coding the character is a Bio Engineer, over time he began adding beings to himself, different alien races and genes. In the end I realized that most of the genes added to him was that of evil races so it seemed natural that he'd become evil I suppose
StormFox: It's a good plot towards your character. You maintained him through a site and unto AL. Very astonishing. Do you suppose if 'Coding' is ever to be destroyed, you will make another Coding, or a much newer character with a different plotline?
Coding: Well, the story behind Coding clears the path for many other characters to take his place should he be destroyed. In the case os his death he has a long lost twin brother who he believed died long ago in his history, other then that he has a Father also who he, again believes to be dead
StormFox: A very interested way your going with this. Well maybe we will all find out someday, if it ever occurs. Until then, let us move on to our next question: What do you think of AL's ClanNation's Rave?
Coding: It's alright I suppose, since it focuses more on war and combat, areas my character and clan excel at. Though like most people at first it reminded me of Final fantasy Tactics advance XD
StormFox: Yes it did give off that sort of feeling at first. As a fellow old skool ALer, what do you think of some clans now than from back in the earlier days of AL?
Coding: Most of the clans these days are alright I suppose, they have organization and a will to win. But they still cannot compare to the old skool clans like Trade Federation, Empire, Peacekeepers etc. When we had wars back then, we full on went at it. I remember the one against Mad Martin, which was fun. If we had wars like that again with these clans, then that would bring back memories
StormFox: Based on this war, who in your opinion is by far the most outstanding? This meaning character wise.
Coding: Reno and that Dante fella seem alright, I could of course say myself, but I've yet to do anything outstanding. Yet anyways. All in all everyone seems to be doing a good job in this war, some better than others
StormFox: Now focusing on Clan's wise. Who would you think will be the winner of this war, and who would you think is trying their utmost power to win this? Any comments would be helpful as well.
Coding: I'm not completely sure, we both now at any stage a fight or war can turn around, losers become winners and the strong perish. At least, that’s what I believe so I can’t really answer that XD
StormFox: Well that's all right. You are not pressured to really answer that one. Do you have any comments on any clan member as of now who is in the war? Comments whether of praise or not.
Coding: Well, this ones for Reno and the newcomers, per se. They seem to be doing all right in this world of AL, and as such I expect them to go places. Their clans remind me of some of the olds ones, and with Free trying to revive all the old clans, I myself intend o start the great and super fun wars I started way back when. Hopefully they're clans will fit in perfectly and bring back the fun to wars
StormFox: Well I hope so too, they seem to be a promising clan. So now that we are on that subject with Free. What do you think of the revived Clan Tournaments? Do you think they'll be as successful as they were in the past?
Coding: I suppose they will, I'm not exactly into them though. Never really was, I'm more a RP kinda guy
StormFox: Overall, what do you think of this new Clan Nation system? Do you think it varies from that of the old clans or about the same as before?
Coding: It's different I guess, but nearly the same
StormFox: Would you mind telling us in what kind of ways? Or is it just one of those questions you can't explain?
Coding: Just one I cant explain
StormFox: Well with that said, this is our last question for this interview. Are there any comments on how to improve ClanNation and the wars? If so, please share them here.
Coding: Well, they're alright as they are for now. I guess people starting more wars would be great, since there seems to only be one happening right now. And the use of NPC troops might be good to, if controlled and watched over carefully enough
StormFox: Yes, I'd be looking forward to that myself. Including NPC's brings anxiety and suspense to the wars. Well Coding, thank you very much for the interview, and good luck to you on the battlefield.
TwilightHavoc: Actually, though you're not entirely correct, I guess you could say I'm "new". But really, I signed up here nearly a year ago. Anyway, a little bit about myself. Obviously I enjoy a good battle, I have role-play-battled for a time now and enjoy it very much. Mostly all I do is Role-play Battle, but I do enjoy an adventure here and there.
StormFoxWraith: Have you been or are members of any other forums or sites where you role-play?
TwilightHavoc: Yes, many.
StormFoxWraith: What do you think of AL thus far, since your last visits here? Would you it has changed for better or for worse?
TwilightHavoc: Well I certainly take more notice to it now. Before I wasn't very attracted to the Role-play sections. They seemed rather ill constructed. Now though, as I have taken a look around, I see it's nicely put together. Then of course with being a "part" of the War, I get to see some fairly skilled role-players from this site, excluding my good friends in the Yggdrasil Crew, most of them at least.
StormFoxWraith: Now you have not exactly affiliated yourself with a clan. Would you be siding with the Yggdrasil Crew or would you be entering your own clan?
TwilightHavoc: After Shin-Ra, I do not really believe in "Clans". There is a group that I and Alex X are constructing, and trust me, once we get things rolling, we'll certainly be a group to keep one's eye on.
TwilightHavoc: This "war" is but a mere introduction..
TwilightHavoc: our participation, at least.
StormFoxWraith: That's very interesting. We hope to see your clan in the future wars. Now for the next question.
StormFoxWraith: What do you think of AL's Clan Nation's rave?
StormFoxWraith: There seems to be alot of new members joining and more activity than before.
TwilightHavoc: Hmmm, Well, I will be honest--I have to say that it is the most, and best Clan activity I have seen in years that wasn't a load of crap.
TwilightHavoc: But don't get me wrong, I don't partake to clan's very well either.
TwilightHavoc: There is a specific reason I am here and I will see it through, and then after that we'll see what happens from there. That's all I can really say about Clans and the activity and my opinion on such matters.
StormFoxWraith: I see, with that said let us move to our next question. Claiming to be an old skool Aler, what do you think of the clan's now than from back in the earlier days of AL?
TwilightHavoc: I'm sorry but I don't remember too well the clan's from back then. I remember it being much less developed than it is now, that’s all I can say.
StormFoxWraith: Well that’s understandable. Do you have any ideas on any members in this war who you think are outstanding? Please give some examples or evidence on why you think so.
TwilightHavoc: Well, I do not know Coding, but I hold a mutual respect for him as a role-player. I find that he has a fairly well developed style and knows what he is doing. It's always nice to see another role-player that is well off. I also think Dante (Redoukeiii) is outstanding. I've been told of his prowess in this fight, and having known him for as long as I have and witnessed the development of his role-playing. He's a great writer, and may not be getting the popularity he deserves.
TwilightHavoc: Of course my interaction with him has some influence on that as well. I like how he handles himself against my attacks, heh.
StormFoxWraith: I'd like to see how both of you fare in this war, you seem to know what your doing and what you're both capable of.
TwilightHavoc: History plays a key factor in this war for me, and it of course influences those I interact with.
StormFoxWraith: Do you have any comments on any member currently in the war? It could be or praise or for worse.
TwilightHavoc: Ah.Well I'd like to personally curse my buddy Reno for blocking my last attack towards Dante. Aside from that I'd like to ask that more of the Yggdrasil Crew show up so that this gets abit more interesting. Don’t know if that is a valid comment or not but there you go.
StormFoxWraith: That's perfectly fine. Going into the topic with Free and Clans. What is your say in the revived Clan Tournament? Do you think it'll be successful like the old days or turn for the worse and lose popularity?
TwilightHavoc: As I never participated in said Tournament I can not comment on the past success. What I can say though, is give some sort of reward or purpose for them to fight and it should do well if it is in fact a good enough reward/purpose.
StormFoxWraith: Ok that’s a good enough answer, if not answer then a great follow up towards a comment about it. What do you think about the overall Clan Nation system? Do you think it varies or is different towards the old clan system?
TwilightHavoc: Again, specifics are absent of me I apologize. The clan system seems to be working finely. I can see that most of them are quite active, and that is what counts.
StormFoxWraith: That’s great. For our last question. Do you have any comments or advice about the clans of Clan Nation or towards clan members in hope to improve the war or ClanNation as a whole?
TwilightHavoc: Fight and Act as one and with honor--that is the greatest value for a clan to have and it will bring many clans that might be weaker than others much further than if they were to work without unity. As for those partaking in the war, give it all you got. It just may be your last fight.
StormFoxWraith: Well that wraps up our interview, and thank you very much for taking your time in responding back to me about this. Good luck to you Killiak in the war.
StormFoxWraith: It seems you are new to AL. What do you think of it so far in general terms?
Tsukasafreak: Well so far I’m overall impressed with the community. Its pretty much one of the most active I’ve been a part of, and everyone pretty much gets along and respects one another for the most part
StormFoxWraith: Well that's good to hear. What do you think about Al's Clans and how they fare in this war?
Tsukasafreak: well, when I signed up it was because the clan I’m from was looking for a new home, which for the most part I think we've found here at AL. My first impressions of AL's clan scene were overall very good, it's very active and there's alot of talent. I think for the most part the going in each clan had a pretty decent overall shot at winning it so to speak
StormFoxWraith: Perhaps, but who in your opinion do think will win this clan war?
Tsukasafreak: At this point, I think its between the Bio lab and the Yggdrasil crew, it's kind of hard to tell what the actual outcome will be at this point though there are alot of variables that come into play
StormFoxWraith: Do you have any comments for any members who are currently in the battlefield? Words of Praise of for worse, whichever you wish to comment about.
Tsukasafreak: Well I think that Lance played his character from the Evilution clan exceptionally well, I was kinda sad to see him have to drop out of the war. Kaelos Lanos played her character very well also. Those were the two Rpers that I noticed the most, a good deal of the other fighters I’ve seen and Rped with many times so I wasn’t at all surprised with what they brought to the RP. But Kaelos and Lance were the two that I would have to say impressed me the most
StormFoxWraith: What do you think about AL's new Clan Nation clan rave?
Tsukasafreak: Overall I think its a positive thing for anyone that likes to RP at AL. I’ve been an active Forum Role- player for a few years now, and while I enjoy all sorts of Role-play Clan Role-play seems to always be the most fun, and it has the most interesting plots. I think that overall it’s a very good way to improve the activity of Role- play at AL
StormFoxWraith: Being new to AL as well as Clan Yggdrasil, could you mind telling us a bit about your past as role- players and whatnot? We are interested in what you have been doing before you came to join us.
Tsukasafreak: well most of the Yggdrasil clan was formed from the disintegration of a huge clan known as Shin-Ra inc. Shin-Ra was a clan at several different forums over the course of about 2 years. They were first at FFL long ago I think. Anyways Reno Cascade and several members of Shinra loyal to him Left Shinra and became the Yggdrasil crew, which is now a group of elite pirates for the most part. Our clan isn’t exactly good, but we are far from bad. Many of the characters our members Rp with have been evolved and developed over an extensive two year history. For example My main character that I Rp with, Dante McCullom, is tied in directly to the main plot of an RP I designed and GMed on a few other forums. All of our characters bring a very unique and long history to AL. Basically we decided to make our home here at AL for the most part because its very active and friendly and seems like a good place to carry on Rping
StormFoxWraith: Yes, our clan has a group of 4 old skool members from older boards, which used our characters, like myself, and my 4 characters. After about maybe 3 or 4 years, they have evolved into what they are now. Basically we are like you guys, except we've been at it much longer. It's also great to know you have all been together throughout the years. A few of our friends slowly retired from role-playing, but we still managed to keep 4 of us.
StormFoxWraith: So overall, what do you think about the whole Clan Nation system in general?
Tsukasafreak: Well I think it works well, at least what ive seen of it thus far. It's very similar to a system DPZ helped implement at another forum, and for a good long time, that was really the heart and soul of that forum, the clan RPing. I think it so far its been a huge success, the war of definition thread has 300+ posts and still going, and I think Future RP's that have an emphasis on clan activity will become even more of a success
StormFoxWraith: That's wonderful to hear. About this Clan Tournament. Do you think it will be successful or will it be a failure in your opinion?
Tsukasafreak: It’s kind of hard to say because from what I read it looks like it is designed for all non-RPing clans. If I had to wager a guess though I'd say its pretty hard to have anything on AL fail miserably, its active member base is huge, and there always seems to be plenty of people interested in participating in everything that’s offered
StormFoxWraith: Well its good to hear you have faith in AL. For our last question. What do you think could help make Clan Nation and its clans to further perfect themselves? Any comments are great.
Tsukasafreak: Well, there is always room to improve things no matter how good or bad they may seem. For the most part getting some more members of each clan to be active in RPing would help, but once the Clan war of definition is over, I'd really like to see some Clan related Rp plotlines. That’s really the only missing thing at this point, in my opinion anyways.... a clan battle arena might be nice, as well. I think things are on the right path though. Once the war of definition is over im sure we will see some clan Related RP’s start to spring up
StormFoxWraith: That's a pretty good idea, maybe I'll try to work something out throughout the clans, with your help is you wish? Well that about wraps up our interview. Thank you for taking your time to do this with me, and good luck to you and your clan in the War.
The AL Underground Rebirth
Column
Submitted by Tyrael
Mod Face Off!
Column
Submitted by FreeSai- er 'Mr X'
It was announced last night by the illustrious FreeSaiyan (all hail his worshipful name along with Washy, Coding and friends!) (That's not my edit... he really wrote that himself - Ed) that 32 vict- er volunteers from the animeleague modding community would face off against each other in a Battle Royale that promises to ROCK Crazy League! FreeSaiyan's fangirls were standing by the side cheering him on, with half a dozen busty girls immediately proposing to him, in the hope of being married to the inevitable champion of these titanic events! Bets were placed immediately on potential winners with FreeSaiyan installed as hot favourite, closely followed by FreeSaiyan and then...
Ty: I note a slight bias towards FreeSaiyan in this article, Mr X.
Mr X: It's a post modern reflection of the modern times. A paradymn if you will... Essentially viewing the situa-
Ty: The readers don't want to hear about that twat. They want more of Washu! And Coding! And Tyrael!
Mr X: Yes, but the analogy is a rather intraspecific..
Ty: I DO know what those words mean you know. You're just trying and failing to confuse me..
Mr X: *shifts eyes* My apologies, Mr Editor... *makes mumbling sounds about 'accidentally' deleting names on the forums when drunk tonight*
So, let us examine some of the exciting battles that are lined up in the ensuring meelee:
Coding
v
Alexiel Newtype
Now THIS battle promises to be rather exciting as the bio-weapon Coding makes his debut. However before we consider whether he stands a chance of winning, or not, a scandal has broken out that threatens to kick Coding out of the contest! On the 'are you male or female' column on his entry form he wrote 'AGHHH!'. This begs the serious question of, is Coding/Lulu a she, a he, or an it? Well it was later discovered that Coding is in fact an Australian, which thankfully cleared the issue up.
It's predicted that Coding/Lulu will crush Alexiel with his advanced Bio-weaponary. Tenticles galore are promised for the fans with those fetishe-
Mr X: What do you mean that we have to appeal to an universal audience?
Ty: Yes, Mr X. No tenticle fetish commentary please.
Mr X: It'd please the Coding fans... They're into that stuff, being Australian and all.
Ty: ... I'm also noting a slight racist undertone in this article.
Mr X: Hehe... you Poms crack me up.
Ty: G'day mate. Wait... why did I say that?
Mr X: Because I'm writing these commentaries and not you. ^_~ You're merely a collective figment of AL's imagination.
((Aije: Just like Free?
Mr X: Hush Aije... I won't show you the rest of this article if you don't stop with the wisecracks.))
Ty: Damn... You rumbl- Er, get back to that article!
Mr X: At once, sir.
Bumble Bee
v
Cecil
I predict that BumbleBee will shake off her previous bad experiences and cause an upset here. Now, you might say, how can a girl whose scared of a forum be able to beat the mighty Thantos aka Atma aka Cecil. Well, it's simple! She will perform a double team with FreeSaiyan in the FreeBee combination. Failing this, it'd be a double team with Alexiel Newtype, as he enters the ring and creates the ultimate NewBee combination!
Mr X: Okay, I know it's a bad joke... Stop looking at me like that Ty! I don't swing that way!
However, Bee will have to look out for the Knife and Fork attack which will definately be the favourite to be used against her. For some strange reason the girl has an intense phobeia of being eaten.
FreeSaiyan
v
Black Mage Bob
The BIG battle with the BIG man! Yes Bob has a BIG reputation... haha, just kidding! I mean FreeSaiyan of course! It's suspected that fangirls/boys will play a large part in this fight, with there being two groups on AL already being lined up against each other; the love FreeSaiyan group, and the hate FreeSaiyan group. Now it's a well known fact that they are roughly equal, so it's quite possible that Free's ego could work either for or against him in this one. We did however speak to someone who oddly enough was not a fan or a 'reverse fan' of Free, but was in fact a Bob fan.
Bob Fanboy: Er... *shuffles along* Hello...
Mr X: So, why do you think Bob will win?
Bob Fanboy: Well FreeSaiyan deserves to be brought back down to Earth, and as we know that's never happened before...
Mr X: *pulls out a long list of 'FreeSaiyan being brought down to Earth'* Actually we count 143 incidents of this since animeleague was formed, ranging from losing contests straight through to rejections of casual sex from fresh mods who are considered 'easy'.
Bob Fanboy: Well don't you see?!?! It'll be HILAROUS! Cos Free is like not expecting to lose! And when he does... He'll probably go and cry! And then like kill himself! And that'll be so funny, cos it's never happened before!!
Mr X: And in conclusion, why should we vote for Bob?
Bob Fanboy: Cos he's not Free. Duh!
((Aije: horrible, but very persuasive XD
Mr X: *mouse inches closer to ban button*))
.Jace.:Hybrid::.
v
Blah
Another huge battle. Can the powers of the Jace match the powers of Blah? This reporter predicts a comfortable win for Jace, assisted by his vast Momentum experience. Expected are the legendary KAAPOWWKACHOW move which has dominated the sparring community of late. A demonstration of which can be found in the following interview:
Mr X: So, Jace, how does the 'KAAPOWWKACHOW' move work?
Jace: Well it's rather simple. Watch closely... KAA....POW...WKA...CHOW
Mr X: Quite simply... amazing! Was destroying Toyko necessary during the 'WKA'?
Jace: ... Yes.
((Aije: It's KAAPOWWKACHOW For Dummies..
Mr X: *pat pat* Yes, sadly the secret's out now...))
Queen Washu
v
Rikku
Oh yes! The Washu fight! Forget all about Rikku, cos the queen of the forums is where it's all at! Now this is expected to follow a similar pattern to the FreeSaiyan fight, with fangirls/boys playing a massive part in the outcome. However Washu has the advantage of those hyponotic eyes. Yes, she is the next Uri Gellar. Any of you who saw her pictures will note a certain mythical quality to her visage... her beau-
Mr X: As I said before! I didn't MEAN to write the next 10,000 words on how amazing Washu is... I don't know HOW it happened!
Ty: All hail the great Queen Washu!
Mr X: May I write at least 100,000 words next time!
Ixiah
v
Kamineko
Ah yes... Kamineko... Infamous for his 'humping to death' attack while blindfolded. Poor Ixiah, he won't know what hit him, or indeed he will, but he won't particularly LIKE what hit him... Oh the innuedos we could make here! However this reporter doesn't like to skirt around the edges, so we'll say that the allogation against Kamineko is utterly untrue! We can't say specifically what allogation it is, but we shall ask a question of 'Is Kamineko 'normal'?'. This report can conclusively say that the answer is untrue.
By the way, in case no one has realised yet, in totally unrelated news, Prince Charles, heir to the throne in Britain is gay.
((Aije: wait....heir to the throne?
Mr X: yes
Aije: that old crone has'nt died YET?! O_O
Mr X: 'has'nt is a WORD?!? O_O))
You heard it here first folks! However if you're from Britain you won't be able to read this, since as you know there's a blanket media ban on discussing it. ^_~ Thusly just kindly forget what you've just read.
[Insert picture of Kamineko and Tyrael running through a field of flowers together for no readily apparent reason] (o_0; Uh, I dont think I have one of those on file - Ed)
Kamineko will win. 'nuf said.
Msj
v
Tyrael
The final battle which interests me, and therefore in a completely unbiased manner I shall review. On the one hand we have Msj who is an adminstrator and loved by all, and on the other hand we have Tyrael who is an Australian. Now if this isn't a dead cert I don't know what is! It's predicted that while Msj will use competant attacks, like the world renowned 'kick' and the infamous 'punch', Ty will attempt more technical moves along the lines of 'Throw a can of Kangaroo Piss aka Fosters at bloody foreigner'. However the final move will be predictable, with the 'come here hug' most likely being deployed by Msj. Now as we know, this is a superb combination when used with an Australian since as we know most Aussies are gay, and therefore will be shocked and appalled that they violated a girl's private space. (Why I even publish this is beyond me... - Ed)
Ty: ...
Mr X: So, how did I do? I'm pretty proud of my article! My first ever for this great Aussie paper! Woaw... did I say great and Aussie in the same sentence? I must need my head examining... Hey, I'd be careful with that BB gun, might hurt someone...
Ty: ... It's not a BB gun...
Mr X: SURE it is! I mean... what else are guns for than to shoot plastic BB pellets at people? ^_^
Please note: This article has been published in dedication to the now passed away 'Mr X', who was found dead in a Pig Sty with this article clutched in his hands. May his soul rest in peace. (I know nothing... NOTHING! - Ed)
Recently I was looking through the member list and saw all the names of people that have been here for months and never post. AL needs to make some sort of new policy that keeps this kind of thing from happening. Maybe some sort of agreement, or something; Such as if you don’t have at least 10 posts in the first month you have to reregister for AL or you get loads of emails saying you need to post sent to your inbox everyday. This would keep many people from coming to AL, which I'm sure would be cause for celebration amongst many ALers.
Another thing that bothers me is how you have to search through each page to get to the one you want. For example, a topic has 30 pages, and you want to get to 15. There is no short way for you to get to 15. You must sit there and go through each page, loading stuff that you aren’t concerned with to get to page 15. There should be a little box where you can type in the number of the page you want to go to. This would not only make it easier for Alers, but those that maintain AL as well.
Something that still bothers me is that a few months ago my sig pic was deleted, although it was the correct size. Why did they single mine out? Was it because they didn’t like NIN? Or was it some kind of personal grudge? Either way, if my sig was too big they could have been polite and just PMed me a warning. That would have been much easier than erasing my sig, then inserting a picture with Mr.T on it. But it’s so simple that I guess they couldn’t understand that, huh? But the main thing is that my sig was the right size, so they were out of line on that.
There, you’ve managed to survive three of my more recent rants, but if I decide to do this again, you won't be as lucky ^^ (Feel better now? - Ed)
From the outset Ashriel was strong, getting a break on Aije early, but overall the votes were evenly spread for the girls. The men’s draw was a different story with Blah getting away to a strong start then being chased down by Tyrael, both getting a lead over Free as he hadn’t entered yet. Day 2 was a reversal, with Free entering the competition and getting immediate votes and chasing after Blah and Tyrael(who had just taken the lead) still polling but slowing down, for the girls the big mover was Animequeen who for the first day had barely moved, stormed into the lead passing Ash and Aije with Major Katsuragi catching up slightly. 3rd day saw Free fly into the lead going ahead by almost 10 votes over Tyrael with Blah grinding to a holt, Growler and Fugasidave also launched up the rankings, moving into third and fourth respectively. On this day we saw a few counter votes in the males, with the most amusing being “I vote anyone except Free, 3 votes to his closest rival”(Who'd say a thing like that! >.> - Ed) of course the vote didn’t count, but the thought crossed my mind ;). The girls were a game of ‘catch me if you can’, Animequeen shot off early and Ash chased her down.
Writers Block: THE ARTICLE
Column
Submitted by Queen Washu (as if you couldn't tell after the first mention of a evil knife-wielding gopher-Ed)
Evil knife-wielding Gopher – OH YEAH?! *stabs*
Fairy – WHHHHY! WHHHHY!!!! *twitch twitch*
Fairy – And then Sakoora and Li kissed and had sex!!1111111
Evil knife-wielding Gopher – Wow…you suck without my help! *walks off whistling*
This Column Submitted by Kawaii FayeFaye
Heya ^^ Kawaii FayeFaye here!
My job here is to take an AL member and try and guess parts of their personalities using psychic methods…
Whether you believe or not is up to you, but at the end of it, the member will tell me how much I got right
Remember, it's just a bit of fun, and I'm not guaranteed to get everyone right. If you want to be part of this, give me a PM and I'll do you ^^ just not THAT way (This is a PG paper kids ^_^ - Ed)
As soon as I talk to him, I can tell that he loves life, and likes to have fun, no matter what the expense. However, the fun stops when someone he cares about gets hurt.
He loves his friends and will willingly sacrifice himself to make them happy. Although he may not seem to, he does love and care about his friends a lot, and they mean a lot to him
Veghettos believes that music isn't just that, he believes that it really can make a difference and that it can make you feel different things
He likes to plan fun things to do with his friends, but sometimes they get a little screwed up. Just plan it a little more, and get a little more organised and I'm sure they will turn out okay
Although he appears to be happy, I can tell that sometimes he likes to hide his emotions so that other people won't get worried. My advice here is to take a look around. Those friends who you care about so much, care about you just as much, if not more and they won't think any less of you if you tell them what they're feeling
He doesn't like to hate people, and doesn't really like to hold grudges, but in extreme circumstances he will get angry at someone, and this guy's scary when he gets angry. He will immediately lash out at someone who hurts his friends as he comes off as a little protective.
I know it's tempting, but sometimes you’ve got to keep your head out of the clouds and take off the headphones. Don't try and escape things, otherwise they will boil up inside you, and you'll end up snapping at someone you really care about. Your friends care about and respect you a lot, and they want you to tell them how you're feeling. As for violent situations, calm down a little and think about whether what you're doing will actually make a difference, or whether it's just mindless violence.
Faye is da UBER psycic, she should have her own talk show man, forget Rikki Lake and put Faye on instead, with that nice brit voice and good looks? Top of da charts my freinds, just a suggestion.
Your advice is great and I know that is what i should be doing but I just can't life is a crossword for me and I don't know the topics, I cant find the cheatsheet either, but one day I will turn my life around and it will be thanks to Faye, I LOVE THIS GIRL!!
2) Swap my trousers and shirt around i.e. wear my top on my lower half and vice versa.
3) Using barbecue dip, fashion war paint on my face
4) Using pillows launch a one man assault on Shinji and vW's room
5) Kiss everyone in the room at which point Free ran, Shadow hid in his brazil hat and Joe cage hid in a pillow, leaving Jen...so not that bad a dare really ^_^
AL Inaction Figures Soon To Be Released
Column
Submitted by Tyrael
No sooner had this statement gone to air that another toy company announced it to would be joining the “new craze” and began production of their own figure. When queried about how this line of toys would differ from the others, the CEO replied, “Our competitors have got it all wrong. They think that they can mimic AL members in an action figure? Impossible I say! The only way to capture the true AL member is through an Inaction figure. By simply doing nothing the toy replicates the average AL member down to the finest detail.”
Armisael's Aussie Booze Corner
1) Always order a “pot” to start off with. You don’t want to get tipsy straight away. First you must enjoy the beer.