Hail be thy Fruit Salad Tree
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Submitted by ChibChib

Lately I think that it has come to the attention of the readers that the Fruit Salad Tree is now a huge part of the AL:Underground and that he is in fact looked on as the real source of knowledge here at our office. I thought it would be nice if you were let in on a bit of the Tree’s past and his general personality, because unlike the regular staff he doesn’t uproot and let his leaves down at the forums much.

The Fruit Salad Tree is an entity composed of the standard biomass of plants but the significant difference in our dear friend is that he unlike the commercial tree produces a range of different fruits such as the banana, pear and the apple. This is due to the superior levels of sucrose in the tree’s natural stores, so he has to channel the extra disaccharides into more production of fruit. Now you may think this an unnecessary fact about the Tree but as it so happens our dear old Tree had to overcome a lot of bullying due to his unique ability. He was an outcast among the other saplings and soon grew to realize that to survive his primary growth period he’d have to develop his cambium enhanced wood at a faster rate than the other trees or he would be out-rooted in a second. This in simple English means he had to grow his bark thicker than other trees at a faster rate just to protect himself from the bullying nature of other saplings and to overcome the trauma of adolescence.

Now all grown up and in a mature state of mind he basks in the sunlight of our only window at the Underground office and continues to photosynthesise the only supply of oxygen in the office and sometimes even lets us nourish ourselves with his especially tasty ripe fruit. So to celebrate the greatness of the Fruit Salad Tree let us all commence to water him daily and bring him gifts of fertiliser.

Love Hina drinking game
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Submitted by Faerie Fortune

The Story: Picture the scene. Two teenagers. A bottle of vodka and a few episodes of Love Hina. Only one thing could come from this - the Lova Hina drinking game! Play it with friends using any beverage you like. You could use Sprite, you could use whatever you want really. Just have fun!

Love Hina drinking game

One Sip when:
- Keitaro gets punched
- Keitaro gets insulted
- Keitaro gets accused of being a pervert
- Kitsune is drunk
- Motoko gets her sword out
- Shinobu is cooking
- Mutsumi falls down/faints
- Kaolla Su hurts someone
- Sara tries to make trouble
- Naru is scantilly clad
- Kentaro talks himself up
- Someone hits on Haruka

Two sips when:
- Keitaro gets kicked
- Shinobu takes something the wrong way
- You see any of the girls wearing nothing but a towel

Three sips when:
- You see Motoko's ass
- You see a girl on girl kiss

DISCLAIMER: If you choose you use alcohol to play this game, please drink responsibly. Don't drink and drive, and all that, and try not to drink if you're underage. However, if you do, it's not my fault just have fun!

How to become "cool" in AL (Pt 3 of 8)
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Submitted by Queen Washu

TYPE 3: THE WAI WAI KAWAII CUTIE PIE

Description: These are the people (usually girls aged 12-19) who live to be cute, bouncy and have fun. They often use baby talk to make them sound about 7 years old, enjoy roleplay and love things that are sparkly, pretty and girly. They are very happy people and are always giggling and hugging other people regardless of whether they are Hitler or not.

Why are they cool: They are just so adorable!!! People like this bring out protective instincts in other members and make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Sure maybe they don't have much to say other than "heeheehee!!" and *huggles*, but who cares! THEY'S JUST SO COOL!!!!

Typical Post: OMG!! I can't believe you did that!!! LOL! XD XD XD ^__^ <3 <3 <3 *nuzzles and twitches nose* Mreow! I wuv you! *smiles* YAY!!!! *Giggles*!!!!!!

Typical Sig: -list of friends, fans, slaves, fans of friends of slaves and basically everyone else on AL- *picture of something pink and pretty with a love poem on it* -Zillions of fan icons, links to friends webpages and some cute little remark saying "I'm a kitty! Nyow!!"-

Typical Photo: Something cute and smiley. Make sure to tip your head to one side and have something childlike near you such as a pikachu or a flower. Making little winking faces and putting your head on your hands also shows how cute and adorable you are so make sure to pose like this whenever possible! WEAR PINK!

Current Mood: Hyper

Favourite Forum: Crazy League/City Scape

Tips for people wishing to become a Type 3:
~ Use plently of smileys and exclamations OMG! ^__^ XD O_O <3!!!
~ *She likes to write in the third person*
~ *GIGGLE*
~ Always be in a constant state of excitement

Next Issue: TYPE 4: THE SLUT

Idiots are Everywhere!
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Submitted by RagnarokZ

The sheer amount of idiots that surrrounds me in these dark and rather strange days is indeed deeply disturbing. How can persons without the needed intelligence to spell and type ever become something out in the real and proper society.

Out in the real World, all your little Internet quirks can not be used for anything. The same applies the other way around of course.

It is important that we treat the idiots with no repsect whatsoever. They deserve nothing at all. In the case of ”playing idiotic to get attention” you should simply insult the offending pile of shit.

The lack of taste and avarage intelligence is a clear sign of the degenration of modern society. Our ancestors invented such amazing feats as the stram engine, the nuclear theories and the Aircrafts millions use everyday.

In the last decades no new things have really been introduced. Most of what we call ”Modern Inventions” are in reality just old things we have made better and more shiny.

I personally predict the colaps pf our currrent society within my own lifetime. The sheer stupidity of our time is disgusting and repulsive.

Even reading this very text is a foolish move in itself. Unless you plan to do something about it. YOU must do it, alone if you have too, go out and fight for the survival of mankind.

Surrender your old moralities and teachings. Stop beliving in what society and the Corporations tells you, it's all lies.

Within 50 years we will run out of most fossil fuels. And even nuclear power requires fuel. The lack of foresight of our generation is a disgrace. And must be taken care of, with force if it must come to that.

Ramblings = Evil?
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Submitted by Selphie

As most of you may have noticed, Free has added a new spam forum to rival Crazy League. Many have already labelled it 'The Devil' and won't go near it, yet it seems that the n00bs are being drawn to it by some sort of force. Is this doomsday for CL? Lady Tyrael denies it, Coding seems immune, Queen Washu had no comment, and Selphie's claiming 'I told you so' rights.

So what have the mods decided to do to make CL a more spiffy place? Well! Because some threads were just too good to loose, such that is Word Game, Legacy, and IM Convos (which is basically what Ramblings was opened for), they have been moved back to their original home of CL. Good job mods! Kill the opposing forum while it's young! Defeat the purpose and go in for the kill! I hear that the Glomping Army is still looking for work...